After saving the land from a trio of dragons, Princess Celestia orders the Mane Six to take a vacation. Fortunately, she has already booked them a trip to the beautiful coastal city of Los Pegasus! How will the ponies fare on the other side of Equestria, where it's fun in the sun all day long? Will Twilight relax? Will Rainbow Dash and Applejack meet Dash's parents? Will Pinkie Pie stop playing that incessant kazoo? Why is Spike taking his mustache? Find out the answers to all of this and more!
*Note: I'm using the official map of Equestria, which says Los Pegasus is similar to Los Angeles, CA.
This is a sequel to: Of Clouds, Seeds, and Apple Trees (Book 1)
There is a later sequel to this story: Orange and Blue, I Do (Book 3)
Chapters (12)
New AppleDash story? YAY!
I promised I would be back with a new one!
huzzah, appledash!
I can't wait to see what those two are up to :D
HAHA! An AppleDash fiction! This calls for new emoticons! cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-dgosh.png
I haven't read the chapter yet, but I will soon. I am trying to finish up Of Maids and Mistresses. After that, I will be reading right after. I will be looking forward to this new experience.cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-dsexy.png cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-awink.png
From hell, to you, and back again,
Soto Konoha
Interesting, Rainbow Dash has a sister. cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-dhipster.png
This will definitely turn out to be one interesting fiction. So far, the story is going pretty swell. I have never really seen many people pull off Rainbow having siblings as well as I have hoped, but I am not worried the slightest bit. I am sure you will change that.
Personal Conversation: I haven't seen you in a long time. I have people waiting for my new chapter of my story, but it is really hard right now because of school. I am coming close to finishing it, though. I have the idea well grabbed in my head, and I plan to right it during my cruise time. (I am going on a cruise until the 15th, so I will be gone awhile) I also have three other stories I am working on. One is my first AppleDash gore-ish tragedy fiction (I am really sad about making it). My other is a reversed story about the Mane 6 trying to help a story writer create a good story with constructive criticism because he sucks at stories. The only problem is that they didn't get the response they were hoping for. Then, with the help of my reliable brother, we are creating fan fiction featuring a picture with a Night Guard, a Royal Guard, and a Griffon. Those are the main stories we are working on right now, but I have another one in my head. A nice, short, one-shot comedy fiction about Mr. and Mrs. Cake, which is also a clop fiction (my very first clop). Do you have any plans for upcoming stories, or ones that you are working on?cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-discsmug.png
From hell, to you, and back again,
Soto Konoha
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I hope you enjoy the story, Tchernobog!
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Well, I promised I would start a new one, and here we are! I hope my idea of Rainbow's sister meets with your approval!
I'll keep an eye out on your story. Just take your time. Everyone will be ready when you are. Good luck on your story projects. They sound interesting! As for myself, I don't have anything in the works aside from this one, at the moment, but with the way my brain operates, anything could happen at any time without me knowing it until I know it.
Thanks for the comments and the compliments, Soto Konoha!
You deserve some moustaches for your fine start to what is going to be an excellent fic.
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I thank you kindly for the mustaches, Ssendam!
... And Twilight didn't turn around to her little direct-line-to-Celestia dragon buddy and get their reservations sorted out on the spot? A bit contrived, there.
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Not contrived. It's... er... creative.
Plus, if everypony did the common sense thing right away, there would never be an episode.
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I just hope you have some super-duper awesome reason they had to stay in a dump rather than a nice hotel, otherwise you've made your central cast look like total idiots for no real gain.
I went one better and made a minor edit.
Updates. yes.
Spike Moustache is appropriate here.
You honor me with mustaches!
Well it's interesting. I fail to see why Spike's letter wouldn't just go the the Princess though. It's a magic teleporting flame, distance be damned. The whole issue with the reservations wasn't very well explained either. Hotels don't just lose reservations, nor did it seem like the dude even checked. I also find it unreasonable that the Princess would go to Germaney with the Elements gone and Luna no there. It's equivalent to leaving the kingdom completely unguarded.
So far, so good, however there are some parts in the story that were kind of confusing. My suggestion is to read over your story aloud to yourself, and it will help find mistakes and problems within the story that doesn't seem right. Otherwise, the story is going well, and I can't wait for the next chapter to come out.
From hell, to you, and back again,
Soto Konoha
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We see it in Star Trek all the time! <_< >_>
Seriously, though, it's not distance as it is delicate negotiations where Celestia can't be disturbed.
I'm sure if it were a major emergency, she would be interrupted, but hotel reservations wouldn't rate on that scale, even ones for a beloved colleague.
Germaney is supposed to be a part of Equestria (though it's not canon of course), so she's not out of the country. The dispute is with the local government there.
Finally, I have had hotel reservations lost several times, and getting it resolved has always been a pain in the flank. Add to the fact that this particular clerk is a snoot, and things go from bad to worse.
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Which parts did you feel were confusing? I always read each chapter several times before submitting.
Then again, since I'm writing it, my mind tends to fill in anything automatically, so maybe I don't notice it. That's why the comments section exist, so I can help keep things moving along.
1230915 Still fails to explain how magic fire breath that just appears in front of Celestia with no pre-warning is just negated to another source. Also, if it's part of the country negotiations don't make sense.
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It's a part of the country, but the negotiations have to do with the local government. Think of Equestria as a Kingdom, with all of it's little fiefdoms and their local governments. While things generally run smoothly, there can be times when situations arise that require the presence of a governing authority. In this case, Luna wasn't what they were asking for, and Celestia stepped in to smooth things over. While that was happening in those delicate moments, all correspondence that would come to the Princess is being handled by her mail steward, on her request, as evinced in the reply Twilight received:
"Dear Miss Sparkle, I regret to inform you that Princess Celestia has flown to Germaney to help her sister, Princess Luna, in their increasingly heated negotiations with the local government there. In the interim, she has asked me to reply to all necessary correspondence..."
Since there is no precedent that says such a thing can't happen, it's usable.
I hope that clears a few things up.
1231005 Fair enough, except that from the local governments we've seen all of them have been republican. A fiefdom works on a level of feudal hierarchy.
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I get what you're saying. They haven't really fleshed out what kind of kingdom it actually is, but it appears to be a hybrid type, with elements of feudalism and a democratic republic. It leaves a lot of wiggle room, but it can get confusing, especially for people like me trying to create a world around it.
1232541 Actually the Emperor, Magistrate (Kings, Queens, Princesses, and Princes), Pharaoh, or other nation ruling body isn't part of the feudal system. Personally, I find that strange, but I didn't make the word up with the definition.
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Stupid geopolitical nuances, trying to make me look bad.
1230915 To tell the truth, I don't feel like going back to find out what the part was because I understood what was happening later. So, it is all good to me.
1232729 If it makes you feel better, I asked my buddy how to spell feudal, and he proceeded to read off the entire Wikipedia page to annoy me.
Well, regardless of what the others say, I think this is a charming story and I can't wait to see more of it. I kinda did want to see them stay at a hotel worthy of the mane 6, but whatever happens, happens.
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It does.
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I hope you'll enjoy the rest of the story too, then. Good things happen for those who wait.
*Reads Description*
But what about Appleblooooooooooooooooooooooom?!
Hey guys, an update may have to wait a few more days. I have a family member in the hospital and that will be taking up my time for a little while.
I'm back, and have just posted the next chapter. I hope you all enjoy it!
Huzzah! I cannot wait for the meeting with Rainbow's parents :D
And what's this about Spike-fame?
You are doing a good job. Also, I like this relative of Rainbow Dash you have created. She is not this over powering pony that is almost as strong as Celestia, or anything like that. May I ask, what race is she. I failed to see if you mentioned her race anywhere at anytime, and I wanted to make sure I don't accidentally called her something she isn't. Characterization is predictably swell. Rarity's personality isn't as good as everypony else's, but it is still good none-the-less. I spotted a few punctuation mistakes, where you don't have commas, but nothing big. The other thing I caught was you didn't capitalize the first word of this quote.
That is all there is. I am back from my vacation as well, and I am writing a new story with the best relations I can pull up. I expect it to be over 8000 words, and I am now at about 1500. I plan to finish it, hopefully, by this Saturday. After that, I can then work on all my other new projects. Keep up the good work, and I will be watching for anything new.cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-psmile.png
From hell, to you, and back again,
Soto Konoha
The Hard Clop cafe ...
Sounds sketchy ...
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Thanks Soto! Violet Tempest is a pegasus. That actually gets revealed a little later in the story, but it's not a spoiler or anything, so I don't mind saying as much. As for the punctuation errors, that's, uh, my eccentricity. Yeah, that's the ticket!
Also, I look forward to more of your story!
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Aw come now, Roughhouse, it's not at all sketchy. It's perfectly legit. Absolutely nothing untoward to think about!
Thanks for the comment!
The first thing that I thought of when I read this:
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRidTugVgxIEgQR4Qe7fjBLc4VHiQJ03vxXEjMURnLpgh-Qv5APXQ
Teen Titans Headquarters
I suggest getting this line fixed to "She learned that friends an' family is just as important as books and knowledge, and one can't live without the other around." Something like that because your statement kind of implies that learning is not important.cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-tsupersad.png
cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-dlaugh.png That is hilarious. I remember when some of my friends woulds say that.
I like the way the story is going so far, but I have this unruly feeling that there is going to be a sudden change in events soon. Anyways, keep up the good work. You are doing good and expect, but don't expect, a story coming out next week.
From hell, to you, and back again,
Soto Konoha
1314342
Thanks, Soto! I never realized I described the Teen Titans HQ! Brings a new perspective to the whole story, doesn't it?
I've adjusted the line, because yes, I realized that, completely by accident, I seriously diminished the importance of book learning.
I look forward to more of your story, too! Good luck!
Whoa, hold up. If Violet is younger than Dash, and she's trying out for the Wonderbolts... how does that work?
And I'm looking forward to the next chapter. I love confession scenes!
I've estimated Dash's age to be approximately 21-23 at the time of this story. She's still very young, very brash, but she's old enough to own her own home and have a steady job. I've made Violet to be in her mid teens, so she's roughly 16-17 years of age, which makes sense because Dash left home as a young filly, and Violet would be too young to understand what was going on, hence that she heard about what Dash did as a filly. As for the Wonderbolts themselves, the difference between Dash's attempts, and Violet's attempts, will be highlighted later on as the story progresses. It should become clear as to why Dash keeps impressing the 'Bolts without actually being offered to join.
Also, I'm glad you're liking the story, Roughhouse!
1315221 Yeah, it was kind of funny. I haven't watched that show in so long, and that one paragraph immediate brought it to my mind.
It's okay. Sometimes we tend to miss the implications on some of our sentences until it is read again, or by someone else. Glad to have helped with that part. It threw me off, and I thought "I know that isn't what he really means, so I should let him know that it is worded wrong".
I have a few that I am working on actually, but one (and One Life Two People [which I haven't posted in a long time, but I am getting to it]) in particular I am working on to get it in because it is such an important subject that I have to get out there. I hope people like it because I am working really hard on it, and I have like 10 people proofreading it for me so I don't make any mistakes.
Spike the star
Wonder what everyone else is doing... hot tubing. Yep, that's my bet.
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I really do appreciate it, Soto. See, this is what happens when you don't sleep, and then post a story. I'm following in the footsteps of all great writers, save for the drugs. I don't do those. Though I do drink copious amounts of coffee. Delicious, sacred coffee.
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Oh yes, Spike the star. His mustache will get him far!
As for the others, what they're doing is coming up next chapter.
Thanks for reading, and thanks for the comments everyone!
1330050 Lol, I don't drink really anything, nor do I do drugs. Also, anything to help. I should give your story a full review, but I don't feel like doing so until the rest of the chapter are out.cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-pshrug.png
Well, then here's one more toward that goal.
I have the sudden urge to sing colt 45
Interpretation predicted; I had a feeling this was going to happen. You are doing a really good job on her sister. Probably the only story that I like that show Rainbow Dash having siblings. I spot a couple grammatical errors, but I will save it for my review of this whole story, once it is finished. I did notice one that almost went over my head, but I caught it with my two smallest fingers.
Close should be 'closed'. Other than that, it should being perfectly fine. Keep up the good work!
From hell, to you, and back again,
Soto Konoha, TWE Admin
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I don't get it, but okay!
Thanks for the comment, Pizboyz!
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Yeah, it should be "closed minded". I hate it when I miss letters! Fingers, why dost thou betray me?!
Thanks, Soto.
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Thanks for your comment, gt! Who knows what may happen in the future?
Chapter Six is up.
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Dohoho, Shower shenanigans! dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Rainbow_Dash_lolface.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Applejack_lolface.png