made a spelling mistake in the title, it's spelt 'thief'. just thought i should point it out

you could work on the pacing. slow things down, and try going into detail. you've got a good skeleton for a story here, you just need to put a bit of meat on those bones.

>>12236851223685The word thief is men tto be mis-spelled throught the story as a way to further show is childlike ignorance. the title was a typo. thanks for that and i am still working on the whole detail thing.

Since you still haven't posted any new chapters, it would be wise to take this time and edit and revise you're current chapters.

>>14621911462191

there are no new chapters since I will be working on the second Scipio story after I finish the one I am currently working on

just something to look forward to

Well it says the story is "Incomplete." You might want to change that.

Well acendon, you certainly have improved quite alot. I found this quite enjoyable to read, however, you still need to learn about unoriginal OCs, and you need to put more emotion into these stories, because right now I don't see alot.

>>14926411492641

Emotion?

>>14974091497409 "Oh no, its Scipio. Please take what you want but please dont hurt me." Sounds more like a couple of kids taking drama class.