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The world of men is filled with violence and strife. So much so that fighting and killing each other has become an art form. When a wandering man, trained in the ancient ways of combat, stumbles upon the peaceful realm of Equestria, how can he possibly learn to coexist with a bunch of candy-colored ponies, especially when his past deeds constantly seek to destroy him and those around him, physically and mentally?
Go right ahead and tell me what you think. If you don't like something, leave a comment. If you love something, leave a comment. This story came from a thought I had a couple of months ago and it has grown into this. I will write more when I can, which should be soon. Sorry if chapter two was significantly shorter than the first. It felt like a good stopping point.
Sorry if I sound like a dick, but I could probably flesh this out and make it, at the least, a 4k chapter. It all seemed a tad bit fast paced and there were so many places where you could have added some thoughts, or even more descriptions on Ryu's surroundings. Also, Ryu is such a generic name. It fits, but seems so generic. I would have went with something like Taeshi or Yamamoto. I also think the character itself is a tad bit bland. Sorry if I seem mean and all, but this is my honest opinion on your story. I have yet to read the second chapter, and it is even shorter so it might not be worth my time.
Thank you so much for the input. I'm one of those people that will pick at my own work for days, making small changes and thinking about what I did wrong. I was thinking about combining chapters one and two, but I may just add more padding to each of them, especially the second chapter.
I agree that "Ryu" is a bit generic as far as names go, but it isn't his real name. There will be a lot more depth into his past later on that I don't want to disclose.
Part of the reason he seems so bland is because he hasn't really had much interaction with other characters, but I will look again at the dialogue sections to see if I can add to them.
If you wish to read chapter two now, go right ahead. Or, you can wait a couple of days for me to expand it.
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