You awaken in a glade outside of Ponyville with no idea how you got there. Luckily, Fluttershy will make you feel better.
Dark, short and annoyingly vague.
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 1st Feb, 2012
- offline last seen Oct 22nd, 2016
Aquillo
Scootaloo is the bestest and greatest crusader. Sweetie Belle is nothing but a dog's chew toy--one of the squeaky ones--given life, and Apple Bloom just sucks.
Aquillo
Joined 1st Feb, 2012 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Fiddlebottoms · 3k words · 58 7 · 1.9k views
- hazeyhooves · 3.5k words · 23 5 · 736 views
- Plonq · 10k words · 88 4 · 2.2k views
- A Hoof-ful of Dust · 1.5k words · 55 2 · 1.1k views
- A Hoof-ful of Dust · 1.7k words · 97 0 · 1.4k views
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Stats
Page generated in 0.113 seconds
Total duration
692 users online
816,686 hits today, 2,004,447 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
...Well I'm not sleeping tonight.
wait, what just happened
Twas a good story. Most enjoyable.
1217304
Is it bad that this pleases me?
1217308
mlpg.co/co/src/1341992949016.png
1217325
Thanks. Glad you liked it.
1217350
Not at all.
The world is so much more green than you're used to.
The same wind that ruffles through your hair stirs a distant copse into movement; the trees’ branches rock back and forth in a flowing, unhurried sway. A few dandelion puffs float past you like small white clouds. The grass blades of the meadow tickle against your skin as you just sit there, watching the world drift past. You haven’t begun to worry where you are, or even who you are, yet. It’s all too beautiful.
This sounds like some awesome acid. Continue, please.
Mere moments ago, the world had been grey, dull and lifeless. It had been tall, granite buildings whose outlines swam hazily under a thunderous downpour. The only life had been the people rushing past you, coat lapels upturned and black umbrellas pointed accusingly at the sky. Someone had bumped into you – perhaps on purpose; perhaps by accident – and your leg had become submerged in a puddle covering a blocked drain. No-one had stopped to help; instead they ignored you as you struggled to pull yourself out. And then... and then...
And then, the sixties came rushing back like a freighter. Aww, yeah, maaaaan....
A butterfly flutters to a stop, landing on your nose and distracting your train of thought. You hold your breath as its bright, green wings fully unfurl and bask in the warmth of the sun. Something you did must have disturbed it, though, because a few seconds later it flaps off into the sky. Your eyes follow it, watching as the green speck vanishes into the clear ocean of blue overhead. There isn't a cloud in the sky.
“Erm... Hello?”
A voice did not break the peaceful quiet because no voice that calm and that tranquil and that beautiful could disrupt anything; it was as if the wind itself had asked the question.
I had heard tales of the wind. Once, a long time ago, a beautiful Indian woman had spoken to me about all its colors. Yes, all the colors of the wind... I took one toke from her 'ceremony pipe' and I truly began to see
A butter-yellow pegasus is smiling unconfidently at you. A basket overflowing with green wildflowers rocks about as she shifts uncertainly. Her hoof scuffs against the ground, and her eyes lower towards the ground as you watch.
You try to speak, but the words catch in your throat. A series of coughing noises break the quiet as you try to force them out. A flock of perched Green Jays, startled, flies off into the sky
Green world, green butterfly, green flowers, green birds... I think this acid killed a few thousands red- and blue-sight cones in my eyes. It's all good, though, seriously. Just--just keep going. Don't show me magenta, though; I hate magenta.
Your eyes widen painfully as she approaches, all signs of shyness gone. “That doesn’t sound very healthy at all. You’d best come with me at once; I’ll make you feel better.”
Dude... she can hear my eyes.
You lift your eyes to see her, green apron apron tied around her front, watching you from over the table. It’s been over a month since she took you into her home and her life. You still can’t remember how you got into the meadow, and as each day passes the importance of knowing diminishes. Your past isn’t as important as the present and, perhaps, the future
Time is an illusion, maaan. The only thing that exists is green. Greeeeeen. Greeeeeeeeeen....
“What’s wrong?” A series of thuds makes its way towards you, and something brushes your cradling forelegs out of the way. “Is your head hurting again? Don’t worry. I know just the thing to make you feel better.”
"Open your mouth and take this tablet. Naw, dude, it's good--this isn't LSD, it's a shroom! Get ready to see some shit, bro! GREEN SHIT."
It shouldn’t be, but it is. The covers draped over you hold in the warmth and keep out the cold; though your breath still fogs the air every time you breathe out. The curtains are open, and moonlight – tinged green by an tree growing between the window and the full moon – covers the room in a ghostly, unfocused twilight. A warm breath of air hits the side of your neck, and a hoof catches against your shoulder. Pink hair tickles against your nose. You close your eyelids, and a stab of pain hits your eyes.
... Wow, man. You take some shrooms, you end up boning a pony. Crazy, maaaan.
“Are your eyes hurting you again? Let me have a look at them. I’ll make you feel better.” You can feel her breath skimming against your cheek like feathers, and then something soft and wet brushes against your quivering, spasming eyelids. The pain recedes.
Your entire life is perfect, except for your damned eyes. They hurt; they hurt all the time, and you have no idea why
Stupid acid keeps killing all the cones in my eyes. All I see is green, and now, usual green stuff looks purple 'n shit. What? Who said that!?
You glare at yourself in the mirror, or more precisely, at the green bow tie hanging from your neck in one great, tangled knot. It stands out stupidly against the elegant, black suit you're wearing. One of her friends had made the suit for you, and the fit is just perfect.
Your ability to tie a bow tie is not. This would be the third time you’ve tried tying it, and each and every time it turns out more knotted than the last. You glance over at a clock studded with emeralds. It’s nearly one. You’re going to be late for the wedding.
Time flies, dude--blink once, and months of getting roofied by some lonely woodland chick just pass you right on by.
You can see your eyes widening in the green-tinted glass of the mirror before a stab of pain shoots through them, and you realise just how dry and shrivelled up they feel, and then you start to breathe faster and faster as the world’s edges crumble into a shimmering mist of twisting light and half-reflected shadows, and pain cracks in fiery bursts across your eyes and stomach, and...
Aw, crap, the shrooms are coming back up!
It’s dark for the most part; though a little light bounces off outcrops of grey, gleaming stone around you. A wet sheen covering the rock gives it an almost organic look. The echoes of a voice laughing off in the distance reach you, and the tones aren’t cruel or mocking, but happy and content. Quiet murmurs and whispers hit you from all around.
Yo, dude, I think this acid expired. And what happened to all the green!? I miss the green, man...
A groan comes out from nearby, and you flick your eyes towards the contented sound. Your eyes must have adjusted to the darkness, because you can see the shape that made it; make out a figure with limbs held in an unnatural position against the wall. It’s a pony, and you can nearly see all of him in the darkness: from his worn and tattered coat to the skin stretched taut across his ribs and over to the wide, perversely happy smile upon his face. Some shadow that’s been blocking the light moves, and a beam hits his eyes. They glow green.
There it is!
Its horn glows green, and your surroundings are briefly illuminated. The cave is not small, but vast; thousands of dry, green eyes glint in the half-light. It speaks again, with a voice that is shockingly, horribly familiar:
“I’ll make you feel better.”
"Mom?"
Okay, HONESTLY, though--this was good! An excellent portrayal of what could occur if a certain creature were around to eff with your mind a bit. Definitely a good twist, and it's got an inherent wink towards how this has been occurring for so long. Cool idea, good job. Creepy.
1217388
Ouch. My first fanfic theatre/riff.
Good catch on the green. I probably did go overboard on that. And as for the acid... how did you know?
Not that I'm going to let it go entirely uncontested:
>Your eyes widen painfully as she approaches, all signs of shyness gone.
>A series of coughing noises break the quiet as you try to force them out.
1217410
Touche
Well, the green stuff is actually fine. Maybe one or two objects you can tone down, but having the overall greenness clues you in that something just ain't right here. But, yes--overall, you have the Inky Seal of Approval.
Now, go forth, and write more creepy fics!
Ooohh this is good. o.o I expected this to be a simple happy fanfic in where Fluttershy brings you back to good health, you thank her and leave with good memories. The twist in this really makes the piece original.
1217350
whhhat
but the cave
the green
how does that point to that?
1217546
Thanks for the compliment. I'm glad the twist did its work well.
And how did you get that it was Fluttershy? I thought not mentioning her by name would be vague enough... [/lies]
1217682
I probably should have been more precise about which type of rape. Here: Mindrape
Warning: Subtract Two Hours Of Productivity From Your Day
If you're looking for an actual author explanation, then changelings. In a cave. Making ponies delusional and feeding off them. The green signifies when it's an illusion and the dry eyes are when they've been staring too long without blinking. It's all in there, I swear.dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Queen_Chrysalis.png
am I right in saying the changelings? :P
At first I was wondering what you had done. Then I caught on, right when you wanted me to. Impressive stuff.
1217877
Yep. You're not wrong.
1218684
Not that impressive, in the grand scheme of things. (Thanks for the compliment, though
.)
1217753
oh thank you sir
1219443
Nine whole hours?
Damn. I'm so sorry.
1219453
its not your fault, i had school
1217753
No prob! ;3
I believe the 'flowing pink mane', mention of 'cottage' and the soothing voice gave us the /tiniest hint/ xD
for a second there, i thought that pinkie was gonna make a new cupcake flavor... but then i read the description of the pony. and it all made sense. Good work Mr. personface. Now i'll never see fluttershy the same way :(
1220201
Soz for the necro post (internet died for a while).
Anyway, glad you got it was Fluttershy without me having to say it's Fluttershy. I was wondering if that would come off.
I'm also glad to have corrupted at least one person's view of Flutters.
1246863
actually i meant when the guy "wakes up". I thought that pinkie captured him and was going to go all
on him... but then i saw it was a changeling
1248155
Ah. That does make more sense.
1248168
yes. but the fluttershy thing still stands.... "i'll make you feel better" will not carry the same kinda meaning it used to. :\ s'pecially from fluttershy
Very nice; well-written, and just disturbing enough for me to call it a successful darkfic. I struggle to call it vague, though, and certainly not annoyingly so.
1266478
Oh, it's vague alright. Nothing's ever really named or stated for certain. Even the idea that you're a pony in this is never confirmed - mainly because I thought that any mention of hooves, manes or non-human attributes would suck any of the horror right out of the scene. It's hard to be unnerved whilst dawing.
1266630 Then I suppose it is vague, in that sense. I had been expecting the kind of vague where you never actually find out what is going on and have to guess based on really weak clues, you see.
Also:
1266663
Damn. Can't believe I missed that one.
I even went to the effort of calling them 'limbs' in another part. I mean, 'limbs' for hoof's sake.
1266682 Heh, not to worry. I only remembered seeing some small indication of species after thinking really hard about it, and found it only after reading through a second time and paying close attention. Though, I imagine most people would assume he's a pony anyway. I did right off the bat, considering Fluttershy's reaction to him (or lack thereof). Though, I suppose that's not much of an indicator when one takes into consideration the purely abnormal nature of the meeting.
1266722
fc01.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2011/339/b/8/luna_apple_by_vexorb-d4iadx9.png
Yep. Wanna know the grand secret behind this fic?
This is my headcanon for every OC, Mane-six romance there is out there. It's actually how I got the idea for the story: write another self-insert OC appearing in Ponyville and having an inexplicable romance fic and make it scary. If I did my job right, this should work as a subliminal message that crops up every time the 139 people who've read it consider writing such a fic.
Rethinking the 'vague' part yet?
1266829 Eeyup. So vague you don't even know it's being vague. Tricky.
This feeling... Is this what people feel when they read my dark stories? I'm a monster. Forgive me!
Excellent style. Now, where did I put my bleach?
1475412
Glad you enjoyed it/it did its job well enough to warrant brain bleach.
I'm also pretty pleased you brought up the style. Thanks for that.
Changelings!
I couldn't help but notice some . . . . . . similarities here. Startling similarities . . . .
Sign me up for a bottle of brain bleach and a tinfoil hat, I'll be sleeping with the lights on tonight.
well... that just... well...
good thing I'm not capable of sleep during the night... or day... or at all
i noticed the hints of the green and with the mention of green soup, and a green surfaced mirror, i knew
Aliens
... wait, not aliens?
Bummer
and... i brought all this coco butter from the basement for nothing (Most aliens are attracted to coco butter, why else is it that the black people die first?)
still, this is expertly written and well played. the suspence, mystery, and hints were superb in execution
i will enjoy rereading this at a later date
Oh my Celestia...
Ooh, pretty neat.
That painted a beautiful picture in my mind. I also love the ending.
Wow I sure am dark...