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NATOstrike

Joined January 2012
266 followers

Stories (2)

  • Researcher Twilight
    Twilight delves into research considered taboo and off-limits by the Equstrian Diarchy.

    89,742 words · 9,430 views · 803 likes · 25 dislikes
  • The Nightmare
    There was never a 'Nightmare Moon'. There was never a 'Solar Tyrant'. There was only two sisters
    1,779 words · 393 views · 18 likes · 1 dislikes

Blog Posts (51)

Source

Twilight Sparkle has been a student, personal protege, and friend of Princess Celestia for many years. However, when the Princess appoints her to be the new Grand Magus of the Equestrian Royal Court, everything changes. Celestia becomes reluctant and unwilling to teach Twilight anything more advanced than what is absolutely necessary to perform her new duties.

What is Celestia hiding? What is the Princess protecting?

Celestia's attempt to withhold knowledge from Twilight tragically backfires, pushing the student to learn everything she can of magic, the workings of the world, and the Princess's secrets. No matter the cost, no matter how forbidden these areas of study are, Twilight is determined to learn the truth.

Twilight is taking the first steps of a journey that once started, cannot be taken back.


Author's notes:

* This story was inspired by, but is not associated with kvernikovskiy's Tumblr blog "Ask Researcher Twilight".

* Special thanks to my editing/prereading team:

    Azu (prereader/editing god)

   Mac349 (proofreader)

   Mystery Alabaster (prereader)

   Alcatraz (prereader)

... and all the others that happen to fall into my icky editing documents from time to time.

* Constructive criticism and ego stroking are both welcomed with open arms.

First Published
5th Sep 2012
Last Modified
20th Jul 2014

Comments ( 611 )

#1 · Chapter 1 · 98w, 3d ago · · ·

Alright... here we go. Chapter 1

The writing went fairly smoothly. There was a couple of fairly major edits that had to be made in order to address consistency issues that those sections would have caused later in the story. I tried really really hard to keep everyone in character at this point and I think I did an alright job of it. And once again, constructive criticism I love it, I thrive on it... the sweet sweet criticism. Don't sugar coat anything, I MUST know if there are problems with the story. (Of course back patting and ego-stroking is good too!)

Anyhow, I hope everyone enjoys chapter 1 of Researcher Twilight, I enjoyed writing it.

Keep an eye out for Chapter 2: The Rise of a Shining Star  (I know, that was supposed to be this chapter, but it just didn't work out that way. :derpyderp2:) I'm going to stop trying to name chapters before they're written.

p.s. Don't forget to rate, fave, watch and all that happy junk.... :fluttershysad:I mean... only if you want to, of course. :fluttershysad:

#2 · Chapter 1 · 98w, 3d ago · · ·

>>1242079

My credentials as a writer may be suspect, but the answer is yes: it is perfectly reasonable to have a certain amount of emotional investment in a character.   It's hard to write convincingly about somepony to whom you're utterly indifferent.

That said, if it's at all possible to overdo it, I've overdone it.

#3 · Chapter 1 · 98w, 3d ago · · ·

a brilliant chapter (nearly made me cry at some parts:twilightblush:)

now i cant wait to see twilights slow decent into madness:pinkiecrazy:

[img] http://verydemotivational.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/demotivational-posters-insanity.jpg [/img]

#4 · Chapter 1 · 98w, 3d ago · · ·

also wow you realy write alot in a small time huh?:pinkiegasp:

#5 · Chapter 1 · 98w, 3d ago · · ·

Oh god. I can already feel the heart break coming for when she goes over the edge :pinkiecrazy:

#6 · Chapter 1 · 98w, 3d ago · · ·

>>1242332

Yeah... fast writing. I wouldn't expect as much in the future. I'm hoping for a chapter per week, but it will probably end up being at least two weeks between chapters. I do work for a living and have a couple of kids, so life happens quite often and may interfere with the expediency of chapter updates.

#7 · Chapter 1 · 98w, 2d ago · · ·

The calm before the storm.

Best. Party. EVER!!

#8 · Chapter 1 · 98w, 1d ago · · ·

man, now im hoping that something will actually go wrong with twi, and that she's not really a complete and utter psychopath...:rainbowderp:

great chapter, didn't think the story would have this kind of quality when i read the opener:pinkiegasp:. i can't really think of anything wrong with the chapter in any way (that caught my attention at least), so im sorry; but i don't have any criticism for you.:pinkiesad2:

#9 · Chapter 1 · 98w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1255676

If there's nothing to criticize, there's nothing to criticize. :twilightblush: I'm just extremely surprised that my first attempt to delve into fiction writing is turning out so well. Glad I was able to catch you off guard with the quality! :pinkiehappy:

We'll just have to wait and see what happens as far as Twilight's decent into madness. I've almost finished the plot outline, and it looks like we're going to be in for about 30-35 chapters of this roller coaster ride. So there's plenty of time.

And I noticed I didn't thank you for being gracious enough to click the star on this story. So... Thanks for the fave of my story! :pinkiecrazy:

#10 · Chapter 1 · 98w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1255910

heh, no problem

#11 · Chapter 1 · 97w, 6d ago · · ·
#12 · Chapter 1 · 97w, 6d ago · · ·

>>1264928

You know you want to. Come on, just give it a shot. I'll be the first to admit that the prologue is... :pinkiecrazy: jarring. But chapter one is the happy-go-lucky ponies we all know and love.:pinkiehappy:

#13 · Chapter 1 · 97w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1270094

Thanks a ton, that is extremely helpful.

Edits concerning the things you suggested have been made. :pinkiehappy:

#14 · Chapter 1 · 97w, 5d ago · · ·

thnx for the input on my story  good chapter

#15 · Chapter 1 · 97w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1270319 Its what I do.

#16 · Chapter 1 · 97w, 4d ago · · ·

epic best story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss:  

#17 · Chapter 1 · 97w, 4d ago · · ·

ever!!!!!!!!!:rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss:

#18 · Chapter 1 · 97w, 3d ago · · ·

please excuse me while I throw a grammatical bitch fit.

you’ve been handlin’ the Winter Wrap-up for years now and ever since ya’ll started

Ok first you have "you've" that is a contraction of "you have" as I'm sure you're aware. But then you have "ya'll" (which, by the way, should be "y'all") which is a contraction of "you all". So, contrary to the apparently popular belief, you never, never use "y'all" to adress one person.:facehoof:

Anyways, sorry about that. That is the single most annoying grammatical mistake I have ever encountered. And so many people make it. :flutterrage:

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alright, you need some definite work on your word word choice, but I've done enough of that for awile so I'll leave it up to your editor (whenever you get one. If you plan on getting one.) The main problem I can see with this story is Twilight's goal. First, nobody in cannon has ever mentioned the position of "grand magus". And especially not Twilight. So claiming that as her ultimate dream is a bit far-fetched, since she's never even mentioned it. And as RD, Rarity, FS, and AJ have all shown us, if a person (putting anthropomorphism aside, naturally) truly loves something, they will mention it.

Other than that, I can't really find anything wrong with this story.

WW out

#19 · Chapter 1 · 97w, 3d ago · · ·

>>1279161

Hey thanks a bunch. All of your points have been taken under advisement.

Allow me to retort concerning a couple of points you made:

never use "y'all" to address one person.

You apparently have not spent much time in Alabama or Arkansas. While not grammatically correct, in colloquial speech, "y'all" is most certainly used as a singular pronoun. Quite often, actually. You would probably have an aneurism if you had to talk to people down there.

nobody in cannon has ever mentioned the position of "grand magus".

This is far from the canon universe (hence the alternate universe tag). This will become much clearer in the next chapter.

Anyhow, thanks again for looking it over. I really do appreciate it.

#20 · Chapter 1 · 97w, 3d ago · · ·

>>1279210 heh, no problem. And I think I'll be avoiding both of those places if I can help it :applejackconfused:.

My bad for not noticing the AU tag. As that's the case, carry on =3

#21 · Chapter 1 · 97w, 1d ago · · ·

You.....

Actually what TWE to read your story......

:pinkiecrazy: well then let's gets started.....

Review after the break:

Chapter 1:

Im not going to sugar coat it this fic. Is.... Good, like really good.

Iv been drawn In to a land of crazy ponies, fluttershy feels a bit off but I can forgive that.

So far you story is good in my books.

#22 · Chapter 1 · 97w, 22h ago · · ·

>>1294840

I'm glad you like it! Having a solid base to start with, then having another 6 pairs of eyes on it for editing and revisions pays off, i guess.

#23 · Chapter 2 · 96w, 3d ago · 3 · ·

There we go. Twilight made it to Canterlot, her new instructor doesn't really want anything to do with her and her newest friend is emotionally unstable. Fun.

I was really worried about using OCs, as it seems like they usually turn into empty pony-shells that pretty much suck in every way. I took a lot of time to work out the OC's characters, and I really hope I did okay with them.

Anyhow, as always, I like comments. Good or bad.:twilightsmile:

#24 · Chapter 2 · 96w, 3d ago · · ·

Not to worry.  These OCs have both their places and their positions carefully limned out.   (And Fireshade's remark "I got my cutie mark for killing"  speaks volumes about her that would otherwise take entirely too much exposition.)

#25 · Chapter 2 · 96w, 3d ago · · ·

>implying this means something good and how awesome this story is

#26 · Chapter 2 · 96w, 3d ago · · ·

Wonder what's with the sudden onslaught of tumblr-based fics?

Just recently I posted a question on the blog asking to make Trixie her assistant.

I would appreciate it if you made that canon, because he probably won't.

Dick.

#27 · Chapter 2 · 96w, 3d ago · · ·

Damn Twi. Why you gotta be so mean to FireShade?

#28 · Chapter 2 · 96w, 3d ago · · ·

I like the OCs. They have so much personality. Well done!:scootangel:

#29 · Chapter 2 · 96w, 3d ago · · ·

Secret schools for magically unstable ponies coupled with a secret lab. Wonder if these two combined when Twilight be visiting will be the first step to crack her psyche open a bit.

#30 · Chapter 2 · 96w, 3d ago · · ·

>>1320051

Twilight made it to Canterlot, her new instructor doesn't really want anything to do with her and her newest friend has a severe emotional instability

i just wanna point out; when twilight first arrived to ponyville she didn't really want anything to do with the little town, i know it's not the same thing, but i thought i was valuable to point out. and as for her newest friend with severe emotional instability, two words; pinkie pie.

#31 · Chapter 2 · 96w, 3d ago · · ·

"Training" next chapter, oh I can't wait for the blood to spill

#32 · Chapter 2 · 96w, 2d ago · · ·

Wow, Arcana is an asshole. I hope Twilight can put him in his place.

#33 · Chapter 2 · 95w, 10h ago · · ·

>>1277245

Damn you Seductive Lyra avatar! If that is Lyra. It is, isn't it ?:rainbowkiss:

#34 · Chapter 3 · 94w, 4d ago · · ·

It begins.

So, you may have noticed that I removed the prologue. And you may be wondering, "What the hell did he do that for?"

Allow me to explain: The prologue was originally written as a sort of 'one-shot' simply to gauge reader interest in the story. There was interest, so the story continued from the beginning. The prologue has served its purpose, and I don't think it really fit as a prologue in the first place, because it was never really meant to be that. So, after discussing it with my new proofreader/editor, Azu, the decision was made to cut it in its entirity.

I think the story is better off after the amputation. That particular piece was really jarring with the way it jolted back and forth in the timeline and then dumped the reader in a point of the story (chapter 1) that is WAY before it in the timeline.

For those of you that are just joining us and didn't get to read the prologue, don't worry, the scenes it depicted will crop up later in the story.


On another note, Azu and I have been picking through the entire story with a fine-toothed comb. Fine tuning for an EqD submission attempt. Nothing in the plot has changed, just streamlining the narrative and improving descriptions and dialogue. As such, If any of you out there see anything at all that throws a red flag in your mind, I would really like to know about it. Even if it seems really small and nit-picky, I want to know so I can look into it and make approriate revisions if necessary.

#35 · Chapter 3 · 94w, 4d ago · · ·

The generator stuff brought with it some serious Half Life 1 vibes. I like it.

#36 · Chapter 3 · 94w, 4d ago · · ·

I would be interested if you did a short FireShade x Spike story. Other than that, I'm really interested.

#37 · Chapter 3 · 94w, 4d ago · · ·

Wow it's great to see this update and poor twilight she was like a dear frozen in front of headlights, and wish you luck in your EQD submission hope that they accept it.

#38 · Chapter 3 · 94w, 4d ago · · ·

Very nice, now I'm wondering two things: how long until Twilight learns the identity of her purple voice, and is Section Five a nod to Eureka?

#39 · Chapter 1 · 94w, 4d ago · · ·

Eight years later and RD isn't in the Wonderbolts yet?

#40 · Chapter 3 · 94w, 4d ago · · ·

>>1391850

yet
That is all.

>>1391812

is Section Five a nod to Eureka?

Hadn't even thought of that... but yeah, why not.

#41 · Chapter 2 · 94w, 4d ago · · ·

So far so good, though perhaps the Canterlot ponies would address Twilight as Lady Sparkle. Remember that at the end of season 2 all of the Elements of Harmony were knighted by Celestia.

#42 · Chapter 3 · 94w, 4d ago · · ·

oooh brain damage:pinkiehappy:

this is a meathod of making twilight crazy that ive never seen before:twilightsmile:

:twilightsmile:I LIKE IT!:twilightsmile:

#43 · Chapter 3 · 94w, 4d ago · · ·

>>1392145

this is a meathod of making twilight crazy that ive never seen before

#44 · Chapter 3 · 94w, 4d ago · · ·

Well color me interested. You have any sort of update schedule set up yet? Waiting is my least favorite thing.

#45 · Chapter 3 · 94w, 4d ago · · ·

>>1392516

So far it has been about every two weeks... but who knows for sure, life happens to me quite often.

I always have a "progress meter" of sorts for the upcoming chapter on my user page, too.

Azu
#46 · Chapter 3 · 94w, 4d ago · · ·

Yay it's up!

>>1392516

>>1392522

Don't worry, he also has me kicking his flank across the room each day to hurry up as well. :raritywink:

#47 · Chapter 3 · 94w, 3d ago · · ·

As always, >>1392522 you show how well of a writer you are. Good job man.

>>1393053

May Derpy watch over you Azu, you goddamn saint!

#48 · Chapter 3 · 93w, 5d ago · · ·

Dark Twilight? and no gore?

yay

#49 · Chapter 3 · 93w, 5d ago · · ·

man, that Magical Generator Explosion was like Waltzing into one of the Engine Test Cells at Chrysler's Technical Center in Auburn Hills, MI during a Full Power Run, and the Engine in the Test Cell you are in Fails Spectacularly, embedding a piece of Connecting Rod in your Skull! :twilightoops:(I watch the Tumblr, Stumbled on this Story while Browsing EQD, and you just earned yourself a Watch!)

#50 · Chapter 3 · 93w, 5d ago · · ·

This is good. I can't wait to see what hapens next.

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