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Featured In9

More Stories8

  • T As the Sun Sets

    A trip to see the dragons sets in motion a chain of events that leaves Twilight and Celestia in a desperate struggle against ancient evils long thought defeated. Something dark is stirring in the east...
    40,819 words · 2,323 views  ·  298  ·  3
  • E The Sun Whispers Your Name

    Twilight and Luna enter a dreamworld to rescue an unconscious Princess Celestia.
    32,094 words · 7,528 views  ·  541  ·  17
  • E Perfect the Way You Are

    I will always love you, Derpy. You are perfect the way you are.
    5,453 words · 6,327 views  ·  185  ·  4
  • T All Paths Lead Home

    A mother and her daughter attempt to find harmony in a post-apocalyptic Equestria.
    109,814 words · 2,164 views  ·  127  ·  2
  • T Only a Choice

    In the Wasteland, there is no such thing as right and wrong. There is only a choice.
    9,430 words · 550 views  ·  54  ·  1
  • T Hell's Traitor

    Does a pony ever really change? Even those damned for eternity?
    32,046 words · 891 views  ·  58  ·  2
  • E Evicted

    Ponyville Library's previous owner has a bad time.
    4,482 words · 1,200 views  ·  120  ·  8
  • T Epic Ponies Doing Epic Things

    A collection of short stories all about the epic.
    9,615 words · 934 views  ·  37  ·  2

Blog Posts45

  • 82w, 8h
    The State of Affairs

    Yikes. It's been a while, hasn't it? I hate these blogs, but I kinda feel guilty when I don't say anything, so please bear with me.

    First of all, let me apologise for the lack of activity in the last month or so. No, really, I'm sorry. :( I could go on a long list of specifics, but honestly, I think it's best summed up with: uni. Doing a law degree sucks, especially when it's a double degree. And when I combine this with the fact I am going to one of the best law schools in the country, the competition is intense (scholarship money is great), the workload is crazy (seriously, I am doing single subjects that are worth a degree's entire semesters' worth of units D:), and the fact that this degree will still take me over half a decade... Ew. Just the other week myself and a friend looked at our reading list for one subject that week and were like, 'Oh sweet! It's only 120 pages!' (and while I'm at it, why do academics/case reports feel the need to cram articles and shit on A4 paper in like size ten font? D: How is that meant to be readable?!). But this is one of those things where I know that hard work now will pay off hugely later, so I am just sticking it out. Oh yeah, not to mention working three or four days a week and my attempts to keep some degree of a social life intact. So there you go. Busy doesn't really cover it, haha. I'm also having a problem where whenever I sit down to write, whatever I do write is just... missing something. But that's my problem to work through.

    Anyway, the point of all this is to say that while I'm sorry for the lack of updates and activity in general, I just want to say that I'm not gone (just trapped), and I have no plans of leaving As the Sun Sets unfinished. It just might take a little longer than expected as I wait for holidays, haha.

    And to anyone willing to bear with me, thank you sincerely. You guys are the best. <3

    Have a good one and stay crazy! I will be around. I promise.

    8 comments · 364 views
  • 90w, 4d
    Rant time! Show vs. Tell: Why You Know People who are Doing it Terribly Wrong

    It’s always depressing to see people give bad advice. It’s even more depressing to see people eat that bad advice up and say things like, 'This is really good and totally right!' Now, I don’t like starting arguments on the Internet, so I normally just shake my head and look the other way. But this is something I have seen more than a couple of times from people who have a greater audience than next to none, and this is not a good thing.

    So! Time for another essay, I think. Show vs. tell.

    As a general rule, showing the audience something is infinitely better than telling them. Why? Because it’s more engaging and interesting. Why? Because it allows the reader to draw implications and connect the dots, and this gets them to immerse themselves in whatever the author is trying to say. This is a simple but absolutely critical point to make because it underpins everything I am about to say. Telling the reader information, generally emotions, etc, is boring because it’s unengaging. Simple. This is something that anyone wanting to write well needs to understand.

    Now, this is the rule. It gets thrown around a lot, and for good reasons. However, people hate criticism. And when people get hit with this particular piece of criticism: ‘You need to show more’, they love to rush to their own defence. The amount of times I have seen people go ‘EqD just doesn’t understand that there are times it’s perfectly okay to tell the reader SOME things!’...

    It’s an interesting point because those people are, technically, correct. There are times when telling is acceptable, though they tend to be few and far between. Of course, this little caveat gives people a ridiculous amount of room to run around spewing rubbish about show vs. tell and how justified they are in their mediocrity. Normally that’s fine. I can live with people not really understanding what they’re talking about, and it’s an ocean of mediocre writers out there, many of whom don’t realise that they are part of that ocean. It’s not so fine, however, when they try passing off incorrect or poorly explained information as fact.

    And this is where all the problems and the misinformation start. So, I will briefly run down the times when telling is generally more acceptable:

    Summarisation: Telling is okay is where showing the reader something would be gratuitous or slow the plot down too much. For example, you don’t need to show the reader what the building looks like in the middle of a shootout. As far as character emotion is concerned, telling is only recommended if it's telling the audience a detail that isn’t important to their character. For example, a character is described in a passing detail as watching t.v and they look upset watching it, rather than giving painstaking and ultimately unnecessary detail about the tears streaming down their face in order to try and show they are sad. Of course, if it’s an important detail that the character is sad watching whatever is on t.v, then you should show instead.

    Implication outside the initial scope: Now this is complicated. So I am going to use someone else’s explanation when they were teaching it to me:

    There is a technique where you baldly state how a character feels or what a character thinks about something, and that statement can imply things far beyond the scope of what you wrote. If you've ever read Bubbles you might remember how the style is very simplistic, with Derpy telling the reader all sorts of things that other writers might try to show instead, like the things that makes her happy, or her favourite foods, or what might make her sad. The thing is, telling here is not an error, because what the writer was trying to portray subtly is not Derpy's emotions or her interests. The thing the writer was trying to infer here was Derpy's simplemindedness, and the relationship she has with her mother. It's the same sort of thing in The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time, where Christopher does not understand his father's love and ambivalence towards him, but it comes through very clearly in their dialogue and interactions.

    There is an interesting, slightly tweaked version of this where the author tells the reader something, and then goes on to show the reader how to reach that same conclusion. So, for example, in our story the narration tells us ‘He loved her.’ or ‘He hated her.’. But then what we do is we go on to show the reader the personality traits or the physical attributions/whatever that lead to that emotion. That way, you are still engaging the reader by helping them reach the same conclusion.

    (This is also the easiest to get horribly wrong.)

    Two substantive points.* Not a whole lot. Makes it easier to remember and attempt to apply.

    But there is an important point to be found in the examples above, and one that people often forget. You will notice that the second example is only kind of telling. This is because it touches at the heart of showing: letting the reader connect the dots by themselves. That’s what showing is about, a point that often gets confused and forgotten in the constant ‘show don’t tell’ mantra that gets thrown around. People forget WHY you show things and WHY you don’t tell them. You show things to let the readers understand on their own what is going on. In this line of thought, you can tell the reader something to show them something else, the real point that you are trying to get across.

    For example, if something is making a character feel uncomfortable or out of place, don’t tell the reader that. You can show their physical reactions to imply that emotion (which is a great and efficient way of doing things and definitely the route you should take frequently), or you tell them how the character doesn’t like the way people stand in groups and always look around him. Or tell them how the character doesn’t like their clothes, or sense of fashion, or the way they talk. All of the above is telling the reader something to actually let them understand that the character feels like he doesn’t fit in well. And how much more interesting and entertaining is that?

    Don’t hold the reader’s hand and point out things like you would with a three-year-old. It’s so dull. Or, to use another person’s point again:

    […] but it's not so much that you need to make your readers spend time working things out. You just need to let them connect the dots on their own.

    If you see people going on about ‘I can tell! EqD don’t know anything!’ beware. I often chase up the stories of people who write those things, and oh boy, they don’t get it right. Show vs. tell is a difficult concept to nail because it’s often layered and nuanced, and a lot writers (myself definitely included. Oh god, this stuff still gives me a headache trying to put it into practice and do it well), struggle with it. But at the end of the day, unless you’re summarising material or touching on the second point, for the love of everything that is holy, don’t tell. Show. The more you let the readers engage with your writing, the better your writing will become.

    Also, if you see people talking about this issue and all of their examples are from the best novels from before 1900… Yeah. I love the classics, I really do, but beware of changed standards and styles. For example, there’s a reason we no longer write ridiculously long, over-punctuated sentences. There isn’t really anyone in the fandom who can tell stories anywhere near as well as Austen, Dickens, Dumas or Doyle anyway, so until you are confident you have the whole show don’t tell thing down, stick with it before you start trying to break rules and copy the 19th century greats.

    I have yet to see someone be correct when they attack any ‘you need to show more’ criticism levelled at them. Mainly because those people forget/don’t understand why you ‘show’ in the first place, or have only a limited understanding of the matter to begin with.

    So, what do you do if someone brings up show vs. tell with your work? Ask them very politely for an example, then you can see what the real problem is. A lot of times people say you’re using tell-y language, but if you never have the problem areas highlighted specifically, you won’t learn what you could be doing wrong, and, more importantly, how to go about fixing it. It also means you aren’t left to guess what’s actually tell-y and what’s not. Too often people get told they are being tell-y and just try to add more description, thinking that description is showing, therefore they must be doing something right. It’s misunderstanding the issue like this that leads to all kinds of terrible places.

    So in conclusion, watch out! I have seen people write essays on this topic who clearly don’t even understand what is showing and what is telling, and I have seen people go ‘That was immensely helpful!’ on those same posts. There is lots of material out there that will lead you down bad places and teach bad habits.

    And be safe, don’t be sorry. Show, don’t tell.

    Questions? Comments? Let me hear 'em, and I'll do my darndest to answer them as best I can.

    *You might find specific examples where using a more telling style of narration may fit better, but believe me when I say that if you think your telling is an exception to the rules and working, it’s almost certainly not, and your work would be far stronger if you utilised showing.

    (Special thanks to Sessalisk for letting me steal her far better worded examples, lol)

    28 comments · 673 views
  • 94w, 2d
    New Chapter and Related Apologies

    2 comments · 231 views
  • 95w, 16h
    Honest Words

    She holds my hand with all the strength she has left, a bony grasp that shakes like a frightened child. I can hear her breathing, wet and rasping as if her lungs are filled with fluid—until I realise that they probably are. The oxygen machine next to me hisses, and I can hear shrill beeps from the other side of the bed. One and a half every second, a laughable imitation of a heartbeat. To me it sounds like a countdown.

    “You’re such a good boy,” she whispers. I have to lean in to hear her properly. “You remember to study hard.”

    “Of course, Nan,” I reply easily, putting on my best fake smile. At this point, it’s pretty damn good. “You know me. I always work hard.”

    “And don’t go” —she coughs, wiping away the dribble with a shaking napkin—“getting a big head, either.” There it is, just a hint of the sternness I remember, the bluntness that always put pins in my metaphorical balloons. Humility was a big thing with Nan.

    “I won’t,” I say. We’ve had this conversation before. By now it almost feels wooden, like a bad movie script. I wonder if she even remembers the other times, or if she knows that this time it’s different. “Don’t you worry.”

    She gives me a shaky smile before her body starts to convulse during another coughing fit. I cringe, hoping she doesn’t see the movement, and it takes her a few wheezing breaths before she can speak again. She grips my hand tighter, almost desperately, like holding onto me is the most important thing in the world. “You’re… such a good boy. Very special. You make me so proud.”

    Instinctively I am about to say that she just told me not to get a big head, but I stop, the smile faltering for just a second. Then it’s back in place, and I give her hand a gentle squeeze. “Thanks, Nan. That… means a lot to me.”

    Because right now, honest words are all we have left to give each other.

    I never have liked goodbyes.

    Remember how I said I might post scraps of stuff here? Well this was a little something I threw together not that long ago. It's not pony, so forgive me for that, but it was a scene that I wanted to get out of my head. And plus, anything to try and practice writing different styles and genres! Like last time, it's not really edited or anything, just kind of thrown together, lol.

    Anyway, new chapter of As the Sun Sets is coming along nicely. The problem with having written the first drafts months ago for a lot of this stuff is that looking at it now, it really, really sucks, and it requires me rewriting huge chunks. Unfortunately, this takes more time than I would like. Still, it's coming along nicely now, so hopefully it's not too far away!

    Stay awesome!

    6 comments · 257 views
  • ...

Princess Celestia is a paradigm of virtue. Calm and benevolent, she stands strong as the moral guide of all ponydom, its infallible protector and symbol of all that is good.

She is... isn’t she?

Discord knows the truth. And he will stop at nothing, absolutely nothing, to make Celestia see it too.

The truth is never clear. Fear, however, is not so hard to find.

Featured on EqD!

First Published
9th Sep 2012
Last Modified
9th Sep 2012
#1 · 116w, 1d ago · · ·

Damn fine show, author.

#2 · 116w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1229151 Thank you! I turned myself inside out writing this one, so I am thrilled to hear that you enjoyed it!

#3 · 116w, 1d ago · · ·


Oh, you'll likely be hearing more shortly.

#4 · 116w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1229223 Now that sounds ominous! :twilightoops: Haha. I look forward to it!

#5 · 116w, 1d ago · · ·


Normally, you'd be right, but... oh snap, I just realized I handled your last work, The Sun Whispers Your Name, as well. Heh, what a coincidence. And I see you've got my buddy Var's work on your favorites list—good taste in writing you got there. Honestly, it seems we've some pretty similar preferences; you just might like my own little piece, Divergence, based on what I'm seeing you enjoy. Anyhow, you'll be getting my email soon! Cheers mate :)

#6 · 116w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1229277 Composure is brilliant, haha. It's funny you mention Divergence, because it's actually on my 'to-read' list. I have really enjoyed Moving On so far, so I certainly want to check it out!

And I'm looking forward to getting it! :twilightsmile:

#7 · 116w, 1d ago · · ·

Oh lawd, Moving On... pheh. That's really just a fluff piece that came outta nowhere. Glad to hear your enjoying it though. Divergence is really my pride and joy. Can't wait to hear your thoughts on it!

#8 · 116w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1229297 It's a unique spin on what is admittedly a cute ship, haha. I know I am definitely liking it so far. Now all I need is to find a PDF version of Divergence so I can read it on the bus to uni, haha.

#9 · 115w, 6d ago · · ·

Man On The Silver Mountain - Rainbow

RIP Ronnie James DIo

#10 · 115w, 6d ago · · ·

I really enjoyed this fic, but I lack the eloquence to describe my feelings for it, as usual.

Regardless, good work.

#11 · 115w, 6d ago · · ·

This... This was good.  This was different than what I normally read, though it is a great read.

#12 · 115w, 6d ago · · ·

>>1245505 Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

>>1245758 I'm glad you think so! Thank you for reading. :twilightsmile:

#13 · 115w, 6d ago · · ·

Well played, sir. Well played. :moustache:

#14 · 115w, 6d ago · · ·

>>1246131 Hehe, when I play, I play to win! :trollestia: Thank you for reading!

#15 · 115w, 5d ago · · ·

Discord has the BEST Batman Gambits, it would seem. Three cheers for the Clown Prince of Chaos!

#16 · 115w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1246286 No one does mind games quite like the spirit of chaos, huh?

#17 · 115w, 5d ago · · ·

Please... PLEASE BE FEATURED! :twilightblush: You deserve it for the honest-to-god work and effort you put into this.

The writing was spectacular, really good eye candy just for the vocabulary utilized throughout. I fell in love with Discord all over again, the characters were just so totally spot-on from the start. Celestia had me rooting for her from the very beginning. Her toughness and fearlessness in the face of such a God-like being. That, "Come out here you wretched snake." line! I was like, "SHIT'S ABOUT TO GO DOWWWN!"

It was wordy, but despite most of it being Discord and Celestia, great dialogue. It had me on the edge of my seat... mmm, until the 2nd act. The fic got too smart for me with metaphors and deep lines like, "All mirrors can be broken," and such. I'd really like to know how you write like this, do you keep an online thesaurus on hand? Do you do this all in one go, no backtracking? FREAKIN' awesome! You do not get enough credit for stories like this. :pinkiehappy:

#18 · 115w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1246400 Hahaha, a story like this featured? I have more chance of dividing 3 by 0 and ending up with 3! :rainbowlaugh:

But seriously, thank you so much for reading! I literally turned myself inside out writing this bad boy. I think all up it was probably a little over 50 hours effort, so it's awesome to hear that you enjoyed it! As for how I wrote it, I have a set of dot points and I go from there, letting it race out as fast as possible. Afterwards I will go back and tweak and make changes as necessary. With this one in particular, I got some really fantastic feedback from a lot of fantastic people, which actually led me to make some pretty significant changes (like completely altering the ending, haha). Over all, though, it's a full on experience that I adore!

Anyway, thank you so much once again for reading, and I'm thrilled to hear that you enjoyed it! :twilightsmile:

#19 · 115w, 5d ago · · ·

Does that mean Discord is good in this story:rainbowhuh::rainbowhuh::applejackunsure::applejackunsure:

#20 · 115w, 5d ago · · ·

I always wonder if people truly believe the implications that their story makes. I'm assuming that Mystic wants us to think that the marionette setup that Celestia has going on is bad or wrong and that freedom to choose is more important.

You can make a case for that, but I think that Celestia is being rather kind. Sure the ponies don't get to choose their leader/ government and have much of their world controlled by an immortal being, but how many people would choose to live in a world of freedom rather than one of everlasting, static peace? Time and time again, people have chosen peace and happiness over freedom.

And this is natural. Who wants the freedom try to bring peace in the world when they could have it handed to them and go about the rest of their lives in peace? Their life will still be meaningful, they can still raise a family, solve whatever issues face their mostly peaceful world, fulfill their dreams. Sure, the dreams and desires might not have originated from them, but they still hold the same meaning to the recipient. The dreams effectively become theirs.

Many people will say, "I will choose freedom, because it is right and gives life meaning, and anything less is a fabrication that must be destroyed." to which I reply "bullshit." If you have a child, would you let the child do whatever they wanted, regardless of whether that means being a piano virtuoso,  a construction worker, a Nobel prize winning scientist, or some nameless bum begging for money? That is freedom. Most people will say "Of course, I will let my child do whatever they want!" But now comes the other option. Would you manipulate your child from a very young age, telling them things like, "School is important." or "You should go to college so you don't have do that (insert blue collar job here)." so that they start to desire those things as their own? Because that is the kind of manipulation, the plantation of dreams, that every single parent is guilty of.

And that is wonderful. This kind of manipulation gives people ambitions that allow them to improve the world. I know that my parents did it to me, and I know that I will manipulate my kids in the same way, and everyone here will more or less do the same thing. Celestia just upped the scale to the national. So she is acting like a parent to the nation, which she feels bad about. Except she shouldn't, because what she has done only improves the world. No the ponies are not free from someone modifying their desires. But I am fine having that puppet-master be a benevolent, immortal princess adjust my ideas and dreams.

Now, I'm not saying this is a bad story. Far from it. It opens up minds and makes people think about what the nature of freedom really is. I just happen to think that the freedom Discord likes so much is overrated.

tl;dr: Go Celestia! :trollestia:

#21 · 115w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1246786 Oh no! Good and evil is far too simple for Discord.

>>1246910 Heh. :pinkiehappy: That's the awesome thing about third person limited. You only see things from the perspective of one character, and in this case, Celestia is definitely not the most reliable of narrators when her mind is being played with, haha. Of course, the real question is this: can Discord and his motives actually be trusted then? And even if he is 'right', is what Celestia does still wrong? Subjective truths, I love 'em! Almost as much as I love making things intentionally ambiguous, haha.

Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to leave your thoughts! I really appreciate it! :twilightsmile:

#22 · 115w, 5d ago · · ·

Chalkman kind of summed this all up and now I don't have a comment. Darn.

But fantastically written, dude.

#23 · 115w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1247176 Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it! :twilightsmile:

#24 · 115w, 5d ago · · ·

i'm awakre for ... dunno 24+ hours ... with like 2 hours sleep ...

anyway, i read it ... i'm not sure if i understand it, if i can understand it, if i'm in a better condition to read english or if i like it. (maybe i need some kind of understanding for the story to decide if i like it or not) [why i use "if" so much right now ?]

i reread it later

but good work Mystic

#25 · 115w, 5d ago · · ·

I´m gonna read it in few days, as I am quite busy right now. But I am looking forward to it! :derpytongue2:

#26 · 115w, 5d ago · · ·

Another truly wonderful work of art, Mystic. Your works never fail to impress 100%.

Thanks for giving me that sneak peak to the story a while ago. I knew it had to be part of one of your upcoming works. Truly epic in every way.

#27 · 115w, 5d ago · · ·

One shot, one kill. Eh, wait. Wrong profession.

Of course I wasn't able to wait. So have a comment (again).

At the beginning I was a bit disappointed. No direct connections to "The sun whispers your name"? Dunno why I was expecting this. (Damn you, fever!)

However, this went into background with every new line that I crossed with my eyes. What a chilled read! Not sure if it's just me, but this was somehow a flatly tale, in a good way. You weren't messing up with suspence curves, simply because it's not needed here. Emotions carried the whole thing, and that was bloody beautiful, just like the cave-scene of "The sun whispers your name". And you know that I love love love that scene. :yay:

For what Discord was doing here, I could escalate into another wall-of-text again. But it's late, I'm hungy and ill and gotta get out early tomorrow, so I'll keep it short.

He is calling up the trials and tribulations who are rasting down in the subconsciousness of all those zoon politikons. A society always has to have its rules, dogmas, concerns. And this is working hand in hand with taboos and borders to non-social-actions. Since one of the main concerns of societies truly is presevation, e.g. acts of murdering aren't exist there. If you are developing this further, than you'll reach a point where you have many things "existant" and even more things "non-existant" in a society. A proportion that is supposed to kept in balance, for the sake of the whole ponydom.

However, Discord is the spirit of chaos. I would summarize absolute chaos as the being of everything at the same place at the same time. So it's just natural, that he doesn't like a state of "harmony", since there are things "non-existant".

So he comes to the powerful leader of that society, trying to corrupt her, and determined to crush this system. He doesn't fight her, but he does influence her emotions with a brilliant show of "could-be-happening"-situations. He tries to show her, that her rulership is forcing several things into directions, denying other directions in the very same moment. He is counting here on the fact, that Celestia is supressing this throughts long-since.

One could say that this is madness! But no, this is politics. :trollestia:

Discord is sacrifising his chance of getting free for the hope, that the fears being a cruel ruler, a tyrann that isn't any better than her enemies, will crush Celestia, that they will break her and her rulership.

Another point why you are one of my favorite authors. (:duck:) It just fits perfectly into simply everything!

Discord is a boastful personality who is always up for a challenge and a risky game.

And with this he is doing just this! Not only that he is petrified again, but also there is a "sideeffect" that could came out of this game.

Since Celestia has a bunch of time for getting her brain into function, she maybe gets this view at her being. That she actually is a puppet master somewhere, that she is denying several ways of acting to her ponies and that she is denying seveal ways of joy to them, too. But maybe she will understand, that this is really necesarry for the pleasure of (nearly) everyone. That there has to be a way that the society is going, led by her and the harmony of being. Shadows are living thanks to the sunlight. Everything bad is living thanks to the existance of good. But only if these are living in harmony, the valuable condition of living can go its ways. By that, she is guarding the harmony and the ponies of her kingdom from chaos, from Discord.

And that realization would grand her even more powers. Just like 100%-critical-hit-chance against Discord.

So, yea, great job! :eeyup:


Discord flashed upright, pushing his face in front of Celestia’s. His eyes he;d an animalistic gleam that made Celestia flinch, tucking her head down subconsciously to limit the exposure of her throat.

I'm pretty sure that this should be..

Discord flashed upright, pushing his face in front of Celestia’s. His eyes held an animalistic gleam that made Celestia flinch, tucking her head down subconsciously to limit the exposure of her throat.

(Clap-pictures are always getting the job done)

#28 · 115w, 5d ago · · ·

Brilliant! Absolutely fits with my idea of Celestia a manipulative ruler. Even if she hides it from herself. Equestria over all else.  

#29 · 115w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1247801 Good lord, man! Sleep! That certainly cannot be healthy for you, haha. Regardless, I'm glad you enjoyed it!

>>1248447 I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts on it!

>>1248667 Why thank you, and you're welcome! I'm just glad that you enjoyed the story! :twilightsmile:

>>1248763 I love the idea of a character breaking another character with something that isn't without a doubt 'the truth'. Discord's real cleverness here was making Celestia believe he is right, leaving her standing upon very shaky ground indeed. Whether or not he is 'right' or 'wrong' is irrelevant mostly. After all, whether the end justify the means is a question left up to the reader.

(Thanks for catching those :derpytongue2: Haha)

Anyway, thank you for reading, and I'm thrilled to hear that you enjoyed it!

>>1248782 Power is so easy to abuse, even if no one realizes that it is being abused. But is it still wrong if the end results are 'good'? Poor Celestia. She never stood a chance, haha.

#30 · 115w, 5d ago · · ·

I will be reading this tomorrow between math and English and I an eagerly awaiting that time. (This story will fit perfectly into that time slot just around 30 min)

#31 · 115w, 5d ago · · ·

Good job on getting this on EQD.

#32 · 115w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1251131 I am looking forward to hearing your thoughts, and I hope you enjoy it!

>>1251284 Thank you! It certainly was a huge relief, haha.

#33 · 115w, 5d ago · · ·

I know this is entirely selfish to ask, but will we ever see a followup to this story? :unsuresweetie: With an ending like that, I can't help but feel as if it could be used as  a setup for future stories.

Even if this is truly standalone and nothing else ever comes from it, it is still a great read as it is. (Even if it got a tad bit confusing for me at parts. :pinkiesad2: )

#34 · 115w, 5d ago · · ·

Congrats on the EQD feature! ;3 I was linked through there and thoroughly enjoyed this fic. :twilightsmile:

#35 · 115w, 5d ago · · ·

Congrats on getting it on EQD :pinkiehappy:

This is one of those stories that you should step back a bit and think about it then comment, the best. So will just leave a generic "awesome" comment. :rainbowlaugh:

Also always loved the "just because you think its true doesn't mean it is" concept in story telling (just because it is the stories viewpoint doesn't mean its the objective truth).

#36 · 115w, 5d ago · · ·

Wonderful. I always love it when good and evil are treated perspectively (real word). I especially love how Celestia is in denial. She knows Discord is right, but refuses to believe it. And Discord, oh Discord, he's so awesome. All the characters are written just the way they should be.


Now then, I suppose you expect me to give you a rating of some sort, don't you? Well guess what? If I did that, I'd be playing right into your plan. That's also why, even though I love the fuck out of this story, I won't fave or thumbs up it. I won't read any of your other stories or watch you. Because if there's anything Ayn Rand taught me, it's to rape women and get away with it. Wait a minute....

Yeah, here, have a rating.



#37 · 115w, 4d ago · · ·

This is nothing short of brilliant. :twilightsmile:

I love stories that challenge both the reader's opinion of characters, but also challenges what it means to be "good" or evil". Sometimes the only difference is perspective.

Again, well done! Straight to the favorites collection!

I knew there was a reason you are on my watch list.


(I would say "Straight to the pool room!" - but you might not get that reference.)

#38 · 115w, 4d ago · · ·

>>1252222 No direct follow on is planned. It really is just another story in my attempt to get into the princesses' minds and explore their personalities, haha. Anyway, thanks so much for reading, and I'm glad to hear that you enjoyed it!

>>1252278 Thank you! I'm glad that you enjoyed it! :pinkiehappy:

>>1252304 Hehe, me too! The truth is very susceptible to manipulation, so it makes for some very interesting food for thought. Thanks for reading!

>>1252321 5 evil Celestias? Apparently playing mind games on people really does work! :trollestia: Haha thanks for reading and I'm thrilled to hear that you liked it!

>>1252513 Thank you very much! It's very heartening to see the story actually got people to think a little. It was exactly what I was hoping to achieve! And yeah, I have no idea where that reference is from, haha.

#39 · 115w, 4d ago · · ·

A lot of the later stuff flew over my head. They were either too complicated for my simple little brain (I might've derped in reading them) :derpytongue2: , or it's just my fever acting up. :pinkiesick:

What I got from this is the 'perspective' thing. How nothing they do is a constant good or bad.

I found Discord wanting an Equestria free from Celestia's benevolent grasp a bit odd. It's odd to see that much idealism from someone who does things for the evulz.

Celestia has her doubts on what she's doing for Equestria, but this most likely stems from her mistakes and regrets. And I see this reaction as natural, you never want anyone to be constricted by what you think is best for them. You want to give them enough freedom, just enough that they don't stray off the beaten path.

But whatever happens, I'll still want to live in the peace created by the beautiful and benevolent princess that is Celestia. :trollestia:

You're the best princess ever. :pinkiehappy:

#40 · 115w, 4d ago · · ·

A well-written piece. I can't buy it, though: I can't see Celestia falling for Discord's illusions this easily. Here, she lets herself be manipulated in ways that don't strike me as very Celestia-like. Mirrors never lie... has Discord never been to a carnival funhouse? Ignoring the philosophical implications of a "benevolent dictatorship" being the best form of government, I like Chalkman's commentary and Mystic's response:  


Since we're only seeing this from Celestia's perspective, we can only guess how much of what Discord said was comprised of lies, half-truths, and omissions.  This story deserves its kudos for the quality of writing and its exploration of ideas, even if I can't see adding it to my personal head-canon for any of the characters involved.

#41 · 115w, 4d ago · · ·

>>1250541 i think so too xD

anyway, today i thought about the story ... there is another saying: Mirrors lie, because they show left as right and right as left ... it think this alone gives the whole story another twist :derpyderp1:

and when you look at it from the WH40k point of view ...

anyway, as said befor, good story

#42 · 115w, 4d ago · · ·

... woah.  That was really good.

I always love Discord as a planner and schemer, and the more intelligent and powerful you make him, the better.  He has goals, but those goals are always hidden from view.  Whose to say whether he wins or loses, save him?  And how can you trust what he says?

#43 · 115w, 4d ago · · ·


Sir I like your style very much!

#44 · 115w, 4d ago · · ·

>>1252876 You are the second person to comment on this with a fever. It could be coincidence, but I personally think bubonic plague round 2 is much more likely.

Anyway, I digress! Discord's motives are something that I left intentionally unclear, actually. I always had it in mind that his logic was always much more personal, rather than attempting to alter the fate of Equestria in general. Two thousand years is a very long time to be locked up from the actions of one (or two) princesses...

And Princess Celestia is best princess :heart: Haha

>>1253148 Haha, fair enough, I guess! Discord's plan of attack was always to get Celestia to react personally, and you can see him become increasingly personal as his earlier attempts at referring to the country as a whole and her impact on it didn't quite have the effect he was after. When he started talking about her relationship with Twilight and Luna... well, even immortal sun princesses aren't above emotion, and Discord is very good in making his illusions appear very real. Or at least, they are not above emotion in my head canon! Haha.

Thank you for reading and taking the time to leave your thoughts!

>>1253153 Haha, I hope you have gotten enough sleep, and thanks for your kind words!

#45 · 115w, 4d ago · · ·

>>1253171 I'm glad you enjoyed it! :twilightsmile: I love the idea of Discord scheming and plotting his way into getting what he wants, and his character is too much fun not to write, haha. The fun bit is working out whether or not anything he says can be taken literally.

#46 · 115w, 4d ago · · ·

:pinkiesick: I've been sick for a couple of days, so I don't know. Maybe someone's out to get us. :pinkiecrazy:

Yeah, I was asking 'What's your purpose?' like Celestia all the time. So random... that's chaos for you.

:trollestia: = best princess

#47 · 115w, 4d ago · · ·

You evil evil person!

how dare you make celestia a tyrant how dare you make discord control celestia EVIL I SAY

P.S. please write more like this

#48 · 115w, 4d ago · · ·

Dam, day 1 of you oploading this fic, and already you have made it to Equestria Daily, how the buck did you do that?

#49 · 115w, 4d ago · · ·


I did like it but it feels like it's missing something I don't know what but I like the concept of a chessmaster Celestia that doesn't recognise that that's what she is. I just feel that this story was missing something that kept it from reaching the true greatness it could have had.  Sorry for the lack of helpful criticism, but I'm not sure what's missing.

It does feel like you poured your heart and soul into this though. I wish I could appreciate it more.

On an unrelated note I was looking at your User page and I must say your taste in stories is quite similar to mine.  I also realised that I had forgotten to like/fav one of your other stories, the one where Celestia is unconscious (the title escapes me at the moment) that has been fixed.

#50 · 115w, 4d ago · · ·

That was a great read!

I liked how you showed Celestia in a light you don't always think about, as this puppetmaster controlling all the strings

Keep up the good work!

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