So beautiful . . . I actually cried. My heart exploded ten times from all the cuteness. Truly, this deserves a place in the featured box.

Because I'm a dumbshit great author, I just wanted throw out an unnecessary vital comment:

I started writing a Luna is Stoopid trollfic, and then I realized that I actually sympathized with her. If you've ever gone on vacation and within 24 hours received a call, looked at the caller ID and known it was going to be some moron back at work who needed instructions on how to pee, then you've probably wanted to just stuff the phone up your butt and fart into it. About once a week I read "Yzur" and contemplate carving out my tongue.

Literary genius , I'm actually being serious when I say this deserves a feature more then some of the stories that actually got one. The whole of the fic was rather inexplicably leading up to what was already explained, and it just came out of fucking nowhere.

I don't even know...

Edit: After reading it, I have no words to express the feelings I have

This, Sir, is probably the most amazing thing I ever had honour to read

Fantastic! You have showered us with your greatness, good sir.

This... This was fantastic.  I am not even joking.  Please, write more.  I need your scathing humor.

What did the cellphone say to Luna's villi?

Nothing! It was on hold!

>>12149391214939

Ahhh... I'm not feeling anything here man, sorry

That was actually rather hilarious.

This is an instant classic of What The Fuckery. Bravo, once again you give me a good laugh.

Comic genius.

You make stupid fanfics of tiny equines that shove objects up their arse because your dumb.

I upvote said stupid fanfics of tiny equines that shove objects up their arse because I'm dumb.

I'm still saying WTF

>>12166051216605

Well, your dumb because you used the wrong form of "you're."

You're grammar is funny, and dumb.

I'm gonna write MLP fanfics while your dumb.

I approve, featured box, blargity blarg blarg, GOOD JOB BOYO!

<<"Let's say you went camping, but I wanted to know where you'd filed your T-190 Forms. Without a cellphone, I'd have to go looking for myself or wait until you returned, but with it you're just a few button pushes away. The next day I could call you again and ask about something else meaningless. Basically, with this I can effortlessly bother you anytime, in anyplace about anything forever, and you will never be able to escape."

"What is camping?">> COMEDIC GENIUS! I sense

This story is brilliant! Amazing! Fantastic! I LOVE IT!

Oh, but you made one mistake.

Luna isn't .

Doy... everyone knows that!

No, but seriously. I love this story.

6/5. Top that.

Inappropriate... but hilarious!

COME ON! FEATURED, BABY! HIT DAMN FEATURED!

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Colgate_beam.png

Eh hem, well good sir. You certainly did, that. Thing, there. Oh God. Funny, but i am left speachless. My IQ dropped 10 points because of that.

>>12166591216659 Woah, woah, woah, slow your roll there...don't diss on the legendary mailmare my good friend, it's bad for all MLP fans eveywhere.

Also, you had me laughing my ass off, I shall vote YES! And how dare a common mortal poby talk to a goddess llike that.

>>12166591216659

Luna isn't

According to this fandom .... I'll let the numbers speak for themselves.

Number of times Derpy has been outwitted by a snack cookie: 0

Number of times Luna has been outwitted by a snack cookie: 1

I really hope this gets featured

The tears have been shed. This, my good man or lady, is the epitome of literature.

I read the title and I was like Wat.

Oh.. .gawd... My mind ran off so I had no logic to nit pick at anything...

Image: http://www.whoaorno.com/images/495.jpg

That's the closet I can get to explaining my feelings. Now, excuse me while I return to laughing so hard I pass out from lack of breathing.

inb4 featured

Wow. Inappropriate, but wow.

>>12168001216800

Great literature, such as this, should make you ask questions. Specifically, you should be asking, "What in the ten Malebolge was this guy smoking, drinking, chewing, eating, injecting, applying directly to his forehead, pouring into his eyeball, dripping into his ear, sucking on, taking and inserting rectally when he decided to write this?"

I did not see that coming.  

Great job, there.

>>12168671216867

Inappropriate? I beg to differ. Here's what it looks like when I do that:

*lays out a cardboard sign with "Please, need disagreements"*

"Hey, man! Hey, sir! Sir! I'm, sorry to bother you, man, but you see I've been out on the streets ever since I agreed that possessions are unnecessary. Can you loan me an argument? A quibble? C'mon man, all I need is one objection so I can fight with a bus driver and go see my daughter. I just got out of jail, and they didn't give me nothing but the confession I agreed to sign."

"No."

"Thanks, man, oh god bless you."

It's on the sidebar and climbin' fast!

>>12169071216907

I would've said "yes, I agree" for a laugh.

>>12169801216980

One black hole, three alternate timelines, and a completely trashed Delorean later ....

"Now what have we learned?"

"Don't create paradoxes which will tear a hole through space and time."

"And what else?"

"Don't talk to strangers."

"Thank you."

>>12169931216993

"Yes... because I still agree."

...Okay, who created that alternate timeline version of the alternate timeline perception of the inverted inversion of the minus world rendition of the black-hole-screwed-up variation on the thrice-ponified version of Doctor Who's distant third cousin twice removed...

And WHY the heck is him or her PINKIE PIE!?

Wait a minute. Wtf is dis shit?!?!

Image: http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/131/399/fry.PNG?1307468855

Not sure whether to LOL, or to be completely pissed that you did a fart joke on my favorite princess.

... What the hay could this possibly be about?? *Reads*

>>12170091217009

Everypony is always Pinkie Pie when you pull off their mask. She's like the anti-Red Herring.

>>12170151217015

What are you talking about? Princess Mi Amore Crabmonsterfromthedeepenza wasn't in this story. She's everyone's favorite princess, because she's pink and a shipper.

>>12171441217144

Image: http://erroraccessdenied.com/files/images/bunny.jpg

>>12167591216759

Don't get me wrong, I love Derpy. She's my 7th Favorite Pony, and my 3rd Favorite Pegasus. It's just that Luna isn't like her.

>>12167781216778

Are you referring to "Luna eats an Oreo"? Because, if so, I love that story, and if not, then I concur with BronyCup.

>>12167871216787 Indeed, old chap, this is undeniably a clever ruse to entertain the likes of ourselves!

Image: http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQFU0lpFLra7xwr7T7qnHXhFSpq0Gu-EwCR_ZIPOeFkbv7CHqHu&t=1

>>12172891217289 Ah...then I may have misread your words, I am sorry if that's the case.

>>12177761217776 Myes, indeed. This is suitably palatable to the likes of we connoisseurs of only the most excellent fanfictions.

Now write Twilight punches a baby (it's been done before but still).

>>12180841218084 Twilight punches Pinkie!

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Pinkie_Pie_lolface.png

Or her kids.

Also,

Image: http://i.qkme.me/3qrc8t.jpg

>>12181621218162

So basically Twilight snaps when pinkie pie won't stop being a stupid annoying cunt? Then proceeds to deck her in the snozz... I like it.

In fact i may write it.

>>12181751218175 Then beheads her and proceeds to directly rape her throat.

Disregard the fact that she does not have a cock. She can grow one for this occasion.

>>12181791218179

Then she shits half-liquid diarrhea down her throat in steaming bursts, churns it around by kneading her hooves, then drinks whatever the fuck kind of diabolical concoction comes back out. Pinkie orgasms because it is her strangely specific secret fetish.

Then in the background we see Luna doing a handstand. And shooting fireworks from her vagina causing passersby to cheer exuberantly.

>>12181961218196 Made me think of this :

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mike_the_Headless_Chicken

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Sweetie_Belle_lolface.png

>>12182201218220

I smell a scootaloo fanfic....

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Scootaloo_lolface.png

>>12182251218225 Let us get DWK here

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Applebloom_lolface.png

I wonder if beheaded chicken could get cutie mark?

>>12182261218226

That reminds me, insects can function just fine without a head because all their processing is done by the spine, they only die because they starve and can't fucking see without a head. Otherwise no change.

Does that mean you could cut off chrysalis's head and she'd start feeling around the floor trying to find it. Hilarity would ensue (also I'm sure she'd just transform a new head as a temporary fix).

WTF are we even discussing?

>>12182361218236 But why would she look for her head, it is not like she could attach it or anything.

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/lolface_Queen_Chrysalis.png

Also not sure if they can use additive transform, rather subtractive, where they can either transform or hide their body parts(wings+horns)

Now when I look at it, this emoticon fits here incredibly good.

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/lolface_Queen_Chrysalis.png

>>12182531218253

So she'd essentially be stuck in a blind hell with only the sense of touch. Plus it would funny watching her flail about and panic.

>>12182631218263

BEHOLD!

Image: http://img267.imageshack.us/img267/4263/sctp.png

>>12182661218266

Brilliant, take all of my internets.

>>12182661218266 HOW DID THIS CONVERSATION TURN FROM THIS STORY TO SOMETHING ABOUT SCOOTALOO BEING A HEADLESS CHICKEN?!?!?!?!

>>12182851218285 That is how all of our conversations look, do not mind it.

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Applejack_lolface.png

>>12183381218338

Image: http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-3cLpmZJw6qY/T-HqRUrjyBI/AAAAAAAAC3w/0stx-dLVMtY/s1600/jackie+chan+my+brain+is+full+of+fuck+meme+blank+template+lol+wtf.jpg

>>12185601218560 Have an explanation

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Sweetie_Belle_lolface.png

>>12185641218564 I was like THIS throughout the whole entire vid!

You guys are effin insane!!!!!

Liked the background music though. Lol.

Since you guys are crazy, have some retarded sh**

>>12186131218613 Did the music myslef huehuehue.

Remixed it actually. But keep quiet.

When I feel like not being lazy I might make a second vid.

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Sweetie_Belle_lolface.png

Also, that footage is beautiful. Thank you

>>12186381218638 It was on RayWilliamJohnson!

>>12186601218660 GREAT NOW I HAVE ANOTHER CHANNEL TO WATCH

Youtube, here I come!

(BTW I feel pretty weird for knowing these things that he mentioned at one point such as 2g1c and so on)

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Applejack_lolface.png

EDIT: Also tracking because you are awesome

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Scootaloo_lolface.png

I listened to that song.  Not sure if I feel dumber from listening to it, or proud someone was able to make that song.

Edit:  I just read it.  I feel exactly the same as I do about the song.

>>12186751218675 Ray's AWESOME!!! 2g, 1 c? HORIBBLE!

I have a feeling we're going to become the, strangely, BEST of friends!

>>12187011218701 *akward silence*

...

2g, 1 c? HORIBBLE!

Well, only if you compare it to such masterpieces as 1guy1jar.

(1)  (2) DO NOT CLICK

I will not post the middle here.

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Applejack_lolface.png

>>12186891218689 This is what it was supposed to do actually

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Spike_lolface.png

Next on Masterpiece Theatre: Luna discovers how to set the phone to "vibrate", posts her phone number in the town square, and doesn't leave her room for four days.

>>12191641219164

It already vibrates while it rings. I might have been too subtle with her goofy grin, but I wanted the Teen rating for broadest distribution. Plus, the story had to have exactly 1,001 words, so certain economies had to be made.

>>12192061219206 Oh god. You fricken' reminded me that the phone vibrated in HER PLOT!!!!!!

Image: http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a185/cyota/Macros/OhLordyLord.jpg

I'm not going to sleep well tonight!

>>12194471219447

Mmm, I think I know what you're talking about. I'm feeling a little flushed myself.

I recommend indulging yourself in a Mint Julep and resting your feet in a cold bath.

>>12194641219464 Solutuin to Brain Melting: Listen to Coldplay!

>>12194901219490

If you need brain bleach, then look no further than the best Batman of all time. I am speaking, of course, about the Adam West version.

Best part of this episode? That the Gotham City Charter has a paragraph that "specifically allows convicted criminals to run for office." Seriously, has any other Batman-verse provided such a logical reason for why Gotham is always filled with super criminals? Obviously, the city is in the pocket of super criminal lobby groups.

>>12168691216869

Yes, all that, and where can I get some?

This is so dumb I like it... :D funny fic, I like how you made Luna look retarded, but in a cute way

>>12197191219719 No thanks. I've got my Brain Bleach behind my washer. Right next to my portable time-machine.

Fuck im so glad that wrath of god guy links this everywhere. I love you wonderfull author.

Didn't read! ... Okay, read a little ... All of it. Many times.

So... what am I doing with my life...?

Cool story bro.

I WILL GET THIS FEATURED! Or get banned trying!

>>12250851225085

As much as I appreciate your enthusiasm, the time when this could have made it to the featured box is past. It's now about halfway down the sidebar.

Instead, just content yourself with the fact that you convinced 750 people to read a story about a pony princess shoving a cellphone up her butt. That's an accomplishment you can take to the grave, my friend.

For comparison, in less than 48 hours this story has gained more than double the views, likes, favs and comments than everything else I have written, combined, has gotten in my whole time on this site. It also got a youtube reading within 24 hours.

I have never felt so bemused in all my life. I'm working on a blog post, assuming I can get some story content up tonight.

>>12251671225167

That's more successful then my 10,000 word fanfic about hippies dousing Celestia with LSD.

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_RageFace.png

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_RageFace.png

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_RageFace.png

>>12238821223882

Wasting it. You should be inspired by this fic, like Brandon Kelly was inspired after he watched Drive. Do something bold, do something real. Go to the next Bronycon and throw a hamburger at Lauren Faust.

>>12250631225063

Before I do this, I want to make something clear: I don't like lolcats. I don't do image macros. I went to 4chan once and left after 20 minutes thinking, "well, I can now say I've done that and never think about it again."

HOWEVER:

Image: http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a36/Fiddlebottoms/funny-dog-pictures-cool-story-pug.jpg

No idea why, but this image expresses something about myself that words cannot. Probably that I have an ugly face and chase laser pointers.

>>12251961225196

I checked, you've got more views, more favs and fewer down votes (two dozen people saw what I did there, I guess). Quit whining!

>>12253661225366

That's what I don't get, people favorited my fic but didn't "like it". I've got 140ish fav's and only 96 likes. WTF is wrong with people...

>>12253901225390

I've done that. I've even favorited and downvoted. "Favorite" here are like favorites in Internet Explorer (assuming IE still calls them favorites and not bookmarks like the rest of the civilized world).

That way someone can read the first chapter or two and come back the next day (or later) and finish the story. Or, if you publish updates they get a notification. Favoriting a one-shot is pointless, unless you're just trying to add approval to the fic in hopes of forcing a stupid one-shot about anal intrusion into the featured box.

EDIT: You hear that, 57 people who appreciate my work? I just called you all trolls. What are you gonna do? Unfavorite and change your vote to a downvote? WAIT, NO! Please don't do that! I'm desperate for approval for any reason. If you fav this story, I will personally go to an animal shelter and pet an adorable puppy.

Can't adopt him because my job/schedule won't allow for the upkeep, but I'll definitely pet the shit out of that puppy.

>>12254801225480

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_RageFace.png

Nuff said.

>>12255091225509

Pretty sure that when I said, "this is my self-destruction. Please participate," you should have known what sort of person you were dealing with.

I'm a little bit a little bit a little bit and a whole lot complete, fucking idiot.

But somehow people still get this idea in their heads that I'm intelligent, which is how we come back to where all this began:

The circle is now complete.

Lovely! BWA-HAHA!

Damn it, Woona, why are you so cute...

Image: http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8i9ky53Qe1rd23b5o1_500.png

>>12167781216778 Hey! We don't talk about that!

>>12262591226259

To be fair, I'm sure that Derpy has been outwitted by a muffin at least once in the past, but she's also outwitted muffins.

Luna needs a story in which she destroys a troop of foalscouts and seizes control of the Thin Mint market in Equestria. That would make me very happy, and bring balance back to the force.

EDIT: and if you're reading this. Yes, I will rep your Young Luneezy's Fundraiser Fanfic. Bonus point if this turns out to be what the whole Nightmare Moon thing was really about.l

>>12083701208370

We think alike, therefore, SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION!

Why Humans Should Never be Allowed in Equestria

Image: http://scranton.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw7700-1343867004832.gif

>>12084431208443

I CAME...literally, I clicked the shameless friend promotion.

>>12182661218266

I WISH THAT PICTURE SHOWED PROPERLY FOR ME!

>>12171441217144Um, no. Princess Mi Amore gfuscadenza is not anywhere near as awesome or liked as much as Princess Luna /)LOYAL TO LUNA!/)ALL HAIL OUR PRINCESS OF THE NIGHT/)!

>>12261151226115OMFC DAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! *Thump*(died of a heart attack)

>>12268071226807

No.

I am sorry, but you are wrong. Pink, princess pony is best princess pony.

I am sorry that you are wrong, not sorry that I am correcting you for being wrong.

I'll admit, that I fell in love with her when I saw her as Chrysalis/Cadence (dat raised eyebrow), but that doesn't matter. I remain perfectly infatuated and stand by my original statement when I first saw episode 24 (?): "if this ends with pink, princess pony slurping the intestines out of the Mane Six like spaghetti, I'll know the drugs have finally kicked in."

Plus, she is a princess with no apparent duties. I know, Luna barely does anything either, but Cadence's only apparent responsibility is shipping random ponies.