You think that people would have had enough of silly love songs.

Well, I look around and I see it isn't so

Some people want to fill the world with silly love songs

And what's wrong with that?

I need to know

Cause' here I go

Again...

The title made me do that...

Honestly, way too long of an author's note in the Begginning. You could have started the story with the time, like : Seven Years after Chrysalis, or something. Also, try separating a characters speech so it doesn't run on and on. Could use a little fin tuning, but good job!

I do like the story idea and it does have potential to it. However, this story does need some sort of proofreader.

There are a lot of walls of text that need to be broken up. It's a common mistake amongst first time writers, so don't feel bad about it. Just break it up a little bit and have at the most 5 to 7 sentences before moving to another line like this:

The years in Ponyville library had been good to Spike and his mentor, sister figure, and best friend Twilight Sparkle. Spike had started his first natural growth spurt since he was a kid last year, spending part of it molting most of his baby scales to allow for his growth in size.  As well as the sprouting of his wings with this growth of his body grew in size to the point where standing on his back legs he was as tall as Big Macintosh with the top of his head. His tail was long and flowing though still spade tipped and his claws had become a bit more sharp as had his fangs. He had somewhat started to feel like a monster while hanging around his friends in Ponyville.

But all his friends still managed to make him feel welcome in their presence. His muscles had definitely matured in this new state he had been helping almost all of Twilight's closest friends on at least one day each week. He kept up all his abilities at the library though. His new size only served to make his chores there easier, even when he had to triple check the checklist for Twilight. He was most thankful that his new size brought on less sleep deprived blackouts. No one who knew the dragon personally would even say that the new size did anything to change who he was on the inside, and that's what mattered. So things had gone pretty well for him over the last year with no real big disasters to Ponyville or Equestria in the recent years.

Secondly, the dialogue needs it's own space as well. It makes it easier to tell what's going on. Again, simple mistake, so don't sweat it.

EXAMPLE:

Spike brought two plates with three pancakes on each out into the main area of the library, and set them on one of the study tables. As Twilight had started down the stairs she sniffed the aroma of the pancakes again and said, “Mmmm Spike those smell delicious. This is why you're my number one assistant.”

She slowly levitated the plate Spike was motioning for her to take with her magic the lavender aura bringing it to just in front of her setting it on the table.

There are some grammar errors and some unneeded spaces as well.

The story idea is not bad and there is a good idea here, it just needs some work is all. I suggest getting an editor or somepony to help you out. I'm still giving you a thumbs up for the effort and since this is your first story. That, and I am a Sparity fan as well.

>> To Bronyman1995: Thanks for that

>>To HighTide: I know I was kind of really over the top with explaining my self in the beginning. As far as your response to the spacing of the characters speech. I was really trying to unify the characters conversations so they felt like a conversation instead of separate thoughts. Thanks for the Advice and thank's for the support.

>>To The Dragon Warlock Thanks for the help I'll certainly look into getting some help before I post the next chapter and I'll see what I can do about updating this one with a bit better formatting as suggested. Thanks for the advice and the support.

>>12051741205174 No problem, you can also reply to comments with those double dialogue balloons in the upper right hand corner of the comment. It looks like this,

Image: http://static.fimfiction.net/images/icons/comments.png

>>12052551205255 So it looks a bit more like this then?

>>12052961205296 Correct.

There's a lot to read so it will have to wait for morning, but I will say that I suspect Shy and RD would be the same age based on the fact they were in class together and are exactly the same height in the filly episode, Cutie Mark Chronicles, where as everyone else is actually shorter.

>>14912851491285

Ummm Wow yeah it is a bit to read. Thank you for that I did mention it was more of a personal interpretation. I'm very honored to have you read it when ever you do. I may or may not have mentioned this before in other posts across this site but I really enjoy your story Eternal. So thank you for taking the time to read it. I'm having it edited soon though so I hope it's not too rough around the edges for now.

Apple Jack should always be one word, you switched throughout. You use he as the starting word for sentences too often. Details are good, but you have a tendency to go overboard. Paragraphs could probably be broke up a bit more. Outside of that, it's an interesting start to a promising story.

>>14924801492480 you still writing right?

>>15363671536367

I most certainly am still writing it.  It's been my primary concern of all my creative pursuits over the past few months. Between work and my very busy editor pony it's been a rough slow road.

>>15367361536736i hear u it was just such a good story should not die

>>15374651537465

Thank you and I promise It's not dead. I'm not on hiatus and I'm trying to keep my blog full of weekly updates. So favorite the story or watch me. I haven't exactly said when chapter two will be coming but shortly is the best I can offer. Of course feeling like this a few weeks ago didn't help either. Thank you again for saying that about the story it really made me .  Very pleasant having a chat with you hope you continue to enjoy my story.

yes more please

Still some work to be done on the text, but it wasn't that much of a distraction.

>>17378971737897 I strive for improvement. I feel this one came out cleaner first time around than my first chapter.

When can we expect the next chapter? Another month long wait?

by the end of the first chapter, I wanted to not just kill the perpetrators, but torture them using methods that are strictly banned by even the most savage and ruthless countries' most insane inhabitants... and the start of the second chapter only infuriated me more... but that's just my thoughts on the situation

and by the end of the second chapter, I hope that Spike feels a similar rage that I feel and uncovers a hidden power that can deliver the ideal punishment that I would enjoy reading about... but that's just because of my vindictive nature... either way, as long as Spike and Rarity have their song (meaning they're both alive and well of course) , I would love to read more

>>17421131742113 Well... both of those are excellent questions. I'd like to point out it was really almost a two month wait from when I first posted the first chapter. I have a lot of things to get done this month for Hearth's Warming I have a lot of ponies expecting gifts from me. I would honestly like to see the third chapter release at the start of Jan. That being said even the best laid plans of ponies and dragons tend to go astray. Sometimes we just don't know what went wrong. I'll take my time with it and make sure it's out once it's ready there is a lot going on in that chapter Thanks for reading so far, and keep an eye out for Soarin's Pink Pie.

>>17422721742272 Trust me I don't think Spike is very happy about this situation at all. You'll see what happens when we get there my friend.

Someone's been watching the Princess Bride.

Also kudos for being the first person to put Creme Brulee in a fic and give him a speaking part.

>>19341581934158 I don't think there is a problem with that. Also I don't see a need for an OC unless you're putting yourself into Equestria. Especially when there is usually a background pony for that job. A little surprising it's the first. Thanks for reading it so far.

>>19348481934848 Thank you I'm trying hard to work on that. I think my progress has been slow with reducing the length my paragraphs, but I think I've been slowly getting better. Thank you for the kind words and the I certainly think the ending will come out quite well.

You have a good story, and set up, but still, most paragraphs are WAY too long. I would recommend breaking them up, since it makes the chapter seem shorter, which is another problem, there are enough words in this chapter to fill three. I understand making them longer than usual, but at the end this does seem like overkill. Try separating them, or shortening them. Also, I am kinda disappointing to see that Spike was only seen at the end of this chapter, and considering he is the main character, it just doesn't seem fair, considering how it seems like the Wonderbolts and Pinkie Pie took over the longest chapter as of now.

Still, your grammar is good, nice choice of words, good set up, and I AM looking forward to the ending. Also, you get a for the Princess Bride reference.

>>19348481934848 Forgive my spelling "I am kinda DISAPPOINTED"

Didn't read but

Image: http://fc00.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2012/046/0/5/spike__s_gonna_f_her_gently_by_mickeymonster-d4psn4s.png

The plot, it thickens!

Great chapter and change of structure. Thanks for taking my advice. CANNOT WAIT for ending!