The idea itself is pretty good.

But,I do not want to offend you,well...that was short.Pretty short.

Although I have to admit,that was certainly cute and warm piece.I vote one up.

Good, but creepy. Creepy as all fuck.

That story was just adorable <3

Why doesn't Twilight ever try to explain the situation to her friends one-on-one without Pinkie there?  Surely they could understand not liking someone back.

I have a problem with the story, I noticed there are no paragraphs.

it was cute, short but cute.  I felt it needed a little bit more interactions between Pinkie and Twi. May be another 1000 words or so to feel the story out a little more. Over all it was a cute story. so Good work.

Overall this was very well done. Only one thing that I didn't like about it, it was simply too short. There were so many things that should've happened, but didn't because of how short this was. If it had several chapters it would've been able to go into how Twilight started to fall for Pinkie, rather than her just not liking that fact that she wasn't there. There were a lot of emotion details that were left out due to the lack of length. Just my input. Great story though.

A short twinkie...... pretty legit.. and very cute but its kinda boring leaving twilight still tsundere and silent about her feelings. Needs a sequel

awwwww why did Twilight have to fall of her?! I was hoping she wouldn't give in...

This was an adorable oneshot. <3 I like Pinkie's persistence haha. xD

Aww

That was adorable

Thank you all for your comments.  I agree that this is a very short story and could use some work.  I had to get the idea down before it left me completely, but sometime I will get back to adding more to this story once school is not so crazy.  I foresee a sequel chapter to hopefully fix Twilight's tsundere issue and thus have changed the story to incomplete.