Ah yes, another, longer story involving ponies coming to the human world. I am so original /sarc/

But I decided to shake things up and make this human world not have bronies as the show does not exist.

Don't expect updates way too often as the school year has begun and for one of my classes I am going to have to start writing short stories (2 by the end of the semester).

I hope you enjoy the first few chapters of this, and if there is any room for improvement please let me know. The more feedback I get, the better.

Also in case anyone was asking, yes one of the main villains is based on an evil character from a recent mega-blockbuster film.

Ah, yes, another story where humans are bastards except for one special human who befrends and eventually falls in love with the aliens.

So orginal /sarc/!

Holy shit this chapter was intense. I likey, so have 5 moustaches.

I like it so far, gonna have to keep tracking it if you do continue.

Oh wow. I'm not so sure I can manage to keep up with this. You know how much I love Twilight Sparkle. The last fic I read with a Dark tag, the author had turned poor Twilight into a cold murderer and then had her killed off. I was bawling my eyes out for hours afterward.

Personal feelings aside, I feel this is interestingly executed and quite different than most other fics I've read. I will say, if all this were to happen in real life, the bastards who turned the Ponies of Equestria into slaves would find themselves in a war with thousands upon thousands of Bronies!

I'll go ahead and like up and fave, but don't be too surprised if I can't continue reading. Poor Twilight

this is an interesting concept, I like it. Keep it up I look forward to see what happens =)

You have a serious problem with marketing. A real serious problem. What's that problem? Your summery absolutely and totally destroys any interest people have with reading this story. It might be the greatest thing ever written or it might be so bad it causes anyone who reads it to swear off the Internet and become a Luddite, but a perspective reader won't know one way or the other because that summery hits an extraordinary number of hated cliches.

Humans as the mustache twirling villains? Check.

Primitives being oppressed by the uber-evil villains? Check.

One (usually male) exception to the Always Chaotic Evil rule of the species? Check.

The exception helps the primitives and falls in love with one? Check.

Primitives distrusting the exception but eventually falling in love him (and possibly making him their leader)? Check.

On a more local note, the A/N's  claim that this story is special because it doesn't have the protagonist being a Brony . . . Really, really, really just makes people who have read stories like All-American Girl, Arrow 18 Mission Logs: Lone Ranger, and Friends of a Solar Empire, among many others, grab a hold of your shoulders and vigorously shake you while screaming, "WAKE UP!"

Again, I haven't read the story, that's just my impression from reading the summary. If the actual story is like that . . . Ooooooh, boy. Your story has a bit bigger problem than marketing.

interesting

Holy shit. T-this is amazing! I'm so looking forward to the next chapter!

hit the million dollar question there

Wonder if the princesses are gonna show up.

>>12240301224030

Stop being mad and enjoy the story

>>12773701277370

I am not mad, and I still haven't read the story. I have no strong feelings on it one way or the other. I was merely offering constructive criticism about its description and the plot as stated in the previous summery. That's all.

your not going to tell us what happens to Pinkie or Fluttershy are you? because you had to end it when they leave just when Pinkie is about to get bidden on i assume we wont hear from Fluttershy and Pinkie anytime soon i guess i cant wait for the next chap iam liking this.