Capitalisation.

Please, for the love of god.

Use it.

The premise of the story is good, also, that one part, where you use the emoticon, don't do that.

Just describe the face he is making with words.

I'm sure you can find someone to edit the story for you.

(I'd be happy to do it, if you wanted, that is)

>>11973461197346

I agree.

You need to edit this or have someone else do it for you,

but yes, I think the premise of the story is interesting but needs alot of work. You also keep repeating names over and over again, PRONOUNS. But other than the errors it was, fun to read With a little more effort this story would be really good.

This is awesome but please use capitalization. It almost made not want me to read the story. And even maybe try a editor.

Lol, I'll admit that was quite funny.

But like Maggi said, use capitalization, it makes it better to read. FINALLY A WRITTEN SCRIPT STORY ON HERE.

>>11983021198302

That's against the rules you know.

SO. You're absolutely positive this is a story in script format?

>>11984501198450 no it's about a pony named written script

>>11984781198478

... Mkay. Seems Legit.

I thought he meant "Written in script" .

And while we're on the subject, please get an editor.

>>11973461197346 you can edit it and send it back to me in a pm if you would like.

>>11984501198450 Errr no I meant the PONY called Written Script.

(Some pony to written script) Buddy, buddy, get in line.

*sees a shitload of others stalking her*

Anyways the premise is good, and new I'll give you that.

>>11986631198663 thank you.

"why is there a wonderbolt tied up in your closet?" asked rainbow dash.

"why not?" relied written script nervously.

"you were spreading under the influence!" yelled a guard...What was she spreading? Was she under the influence of dry toast in need of butter?

Hopefully Soarin will bail her out.

>>12011011201101C nope he's going to end up in the jail eventually.

>>12012901201290

Why should I expect differently? Looks like Celestia is going to need to use the moon as a prison again.

it has an intriguing storyline, very funny at the end, but PLEASE work on capitalization, PLEASE!

I would suggest you get a editor and CAPITALIZE!

WHAT THE?!?!

Weird ending

Soarin is gonna bail her out right?!?

I NEED MORE STORIES

STORIES ABOUT THIS SHIP!

>>23412512341251 we meet again spitfire

>>scootsisbest same to u scoot