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  • T An Earth Pony Orphan In The Unicorn Court

    In the time before the three pony tribes became one, a rampaging monster tears apart a noble caravan. Now the baron’s shattered family must put itself back together—with one remarkable addition.
    7,269 words · 1,425 views  ·  156  ·  1
  • E One Small Step

    Two terrible ponies learn to be less terrible.
    19,771 words · 3,999 views  ·  191  ·  3
  • E Happily Ever After

    Shining Armor will do anything to save his marriage. Anything.
    2,697 words · 6,132 views  ·  422  ·  11
  • E My Even Tinier Ponies

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    2,468 words · 2,676 views  ·  206  ·  5
  • E The Thousand Year Romance Of Clover The Clever

    Clover the Clever has found a love so pure and true that no pony can stop it. But even the greatest love cannot conquer death itself... so Clover will keep looking until she finds something that can.
    2,649 words · 2,055 views  ·  240  ·  8
  • E Everfree and the Poisoned Flower

    A pony loses the thing that's most precious to her
    1,509 words · 1,068 views  ·  115  ·  3
  • E Mother of Nations

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  • E Little Sister

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Blog Posts70

  • 9w, 4d
    I Am Technically Not Dead

    So, new story. My first since 2013, actually. It might be my last.

    I've been trying to find the right balance of how much effort to put into fulfilling my personal goals, and how much to put into improving the world. And the thing about writing is that you get out of it what you put into it—so yes, it's been unspeakably rewarding, but it also takes much more energy than, say, going out to a party. That's energy that hasn't gone into my larger goals. I've known this intellectually for approximately forever. A while ago, this started making sense on an emotional level, too. (My guess is that it's because I gained the ability to express my emotions without first writing an entire story.)

    I'd been in the middle of revising this story with my prereaders. And then I sort of... stopped. I didn't feel great about leaving them hanging, but there was stuff to do, you know?

    Well, I've had time to take stock lately, and I want to tie up some loose ends. The story may not be 100% perfect forever, but the important stuff is all there, and it's more than postable. And people have been asking if I got hit by a bus or something, so it seems wise to let everyone know what's up.

    Maybe I'll be back, if I gain the ability to balance writing and working in a more stable way. But for now, at least, it's not my highest priority.

    8 comments · 138 views
  • 33w, 6d
    Unlikely Crossovers: Royal Canterlot Library Edition

    “An Imaginative Performance” Or “Expectations”: Apple Bloom has the lead role in her school play, and her performance will be perfect. No matter what.

    The Tyrant And The Detective: Fetlock Holmes attempts to prove that Discord was responsible for sabotaging the Tree of Harmony. With the exemplar of deductive logic pitted against the draconequification of chaos in an epic battle of wits, only one thing is certain: There is absolutely no sexual tension. None whatsoever. Move along.

    Tired From Chaos: I'm Worker. I can make anypony smile.

    The Colour Quixote Bleeds In Their Highnesses' Clandestine Corps: The RCL decides to publish only Blueblood stories from now on.

    Five Hundred Little Murders And What Came After: Now that the invading deer have been driven back, somepony needs to make sure they never threaten ponykind again. But when it comes time to do what must be done, no one has the courage to go through with it. No one except the strongest pony in the world.

    Lost Cities Are Where The Harp Is: North of Canterlot, in the far marches of the Equestrian lands near the border with the Griffon tribes, there is a mountain that flies. It is covered in Smooze.

    West of Canterlot, beyond the Galloping Mountains and a desert painted in the pastel hues of a faded rainbow, a tower sits at the edge of the world. It is covered in Smooze.

    South of Canterlot, past the Everfree forest and the desolate badlands, a city of gardens waits to be born. It is covered in Smooze.

    That's Allabaster: An aging Pinkie Pie forgets where she put Applejack's hat.

    It Is My Fate To Fight For Cranberry Hill: It's winter, when snow covers the earth like frosting and the days are short and bright—the perfect time for a snowball fight! The Cutie Mark Crusaders tussle with Diamond Tiara and her accomplice, Typhon the Father of Monsters.

    The Arbitrage of Monsters: Twilight Sparkle has a really bad day.

    (Previously in this series: stuff, things, and miscellany.)

    12 comments · 254 views
  • 43w, 2d
    New Holiday Story: Where The Heart Is

    I've posted a new story about going home for the holidays. You won't see it in your feed, because the mods in their infinite wisdom have decreed that sufficiently short stories aren't actually stories, so this blog is to let you know that it's available in my miscellaneous projects file.

    0 comments · 83 views
  • 45w, 2d
    Help Me, And Win A Free Commission

    Thanks to Chris, I've been thinking about writing style recently. What is a style? Do I have one? Do I have more than one? How can I tell? “Thinking really hard about these questions” doesn't seem like a good way to get answers, since my most common problem as a writer is that I don't communicate the ideas I mean to communicate.

    The thing I care about is what you, the reader, experience. My best idea to find out is to ask. So I'm doing that! Right now!

    If you're familiar with at least a couple of my stories, then please let me know what you think my style is, or any other broad feedback you have on my writing. I've put hundreds of hours into writing these stories for you, and if you can take a couple minutes to give back, it would mean a lot to me.

    You can leave feedback in the comments to this post, put them in a PM, tell me anonymously at this shiny page, track down my physical address and send a singing telegram, or whatever you like. I declare Crocker's Rules on everything I get this way. Please write feedback before reading this page's comments, to avoid accidental priming and conformity effects.

    Since I'm asking you to do me a favor, it makes sense that I should do something for you, too. I will write a 500-1000 word story for one randomly-selected person who provides feedback. (Example, example.) Anonymous messages are eligible only if they include the prompt in the message itself, since obviously I can't get back to you. I'll pick the winner on Thursday, Dec 19, and try to have the story finished by Jan 1.

    Thanks for helping me become a better writer!

    15 comments · 289 views
  • 48w, 4d
    The Kinship Reports, Part 1 (Or, I Hope You Like Worldbuilding)

    I’m trying something a bit different with my latest story. This one is meant to stand on its own, but it’s also the first installment in a longer series I have planned. If I stick with it, I expect the whole project to be roughly novel-length. Just in case I don’t stick with it, each installment will be a self-contained story of its own, so you won’t be stranded at an awkward non-ending. (I don't read incomplete stories, so I tried to write something I'd want to read.)

    I’m currently about a third of the way through The Weather Merchants, in which Bonfire learns a lesson about trust and I get to introduce you to Starling. Those of you who are following me will, of course, be notified when it gets posted.

    2 comments · 304 views
  • ...
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What are the chances your favorite pony was secretly a changeling all along?

Yeah, probably about one in one.

First Published
31st Aug 2012
Last Modified
21st Jun 2013
Benman
Site Blogger
#1 · 112w, 1d ago · · ·

Thanks to Alexstrazsa for the totally boss cover art. Thanks to kits for being a remarkably good sport about this. If you haven't already, you should check out his excellent story for a decidedly less silly take on a changeling infiltration. The blame for this one, however, is all mine.

#2 · 112w, 1d ago · 14 · ·

But I thought Rarity was phone. :fluttercry:

#3 · 112w, 1d ago · · ·

SO MANY CHANGELINGS

#4 · 112w, 1d ago · · ·

Oh god so much changeling.

#5 · 112w, 1d ago · 15 · ·

No Celestia, you are the changelings.

And then Celestia was Cadence.

#6 · 112w, 1d ago · 6 · ·

...but where is Luna?!  :raritydespair:

#7 · 112w, 1d ago · 2 · ·

Da fuq did i just read?

:EDIT:

Actually, let me rephrase that last sentace.

WHAT THE FLYING MOTHER FUCK DID I JUST FUCKING READ?!

Yea, i think thats it.

#8 · 112w, 1d ago · · ·

Goodness gracious, how many back-stabbs and double-double crosses are there?!

I lost track...

#9 · 112w, 1d ago · · ·

Wait...what the hell just happened? My brain hurts....

#10 · 112w, 1d ago · 1 · ·

HA HA HA HA HA HA!

The is awesome.

#11 · 112w, 1d ago · · ·

Haha, Everypony's a changeling! Too bad Celestia, it's all lies. Wait so Applejack is the only real pony in Ponyville? :rainbowlaugh:

#12 · 112w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1189984

Luna used her illusion magic to depose Celestia and take her place during the Nightmare War.

#13 · 112w, 1d ago · · ·

Dafuq did I just read?

Kidding, I thought this was pretty funny.

#14 · 112w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1190044

...Then Celestia is the real Luna? ...It all makes sense! Provided, of course, that the Moon itself is a changeling too.

#15 · 112w, 1d ago · · ·

:rainbowhuh::rainbowhuh: i just read the whole thing  in verry confused just like the towns folk of ponyvill who's on what side, who's the idiot ruller who started this mindfuck did every changeling forget who is a changeling and was there really ponies:applejackunsure:

Celestia, my brain is melting!

#16 · 112w, 1d ago · 6 · ·

Entire team is Spy!

Wait, wrong IP...

Anyway, most enjoyably silly. Don't worry, Celestia, I'm sure the rest of Equestria isn't as changeling-infested as the increasingly ironically named Ponyville. That'd pretty much be impossible unless the things are impersonating individual blades of grass.

Also, I'm pretty sure I saw Luna in Silicon Dream Valley. Something about game testing...

#17 · 112w, 1d ago · 5 · ·

>>1190056

Close! The Moon is actually two changelings.

#18 · 112w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1190073

To be fair, I always was a bit suspicious about why would it have not one, but two sides...

#20 · 112w, 1d ago · · ·

:rainbowhuh: what did I just read

#21 · 112w, 1d ago · · ·

Perfect, with all of the Ponyville cast distracted, MY time to rise is at hand! Or hoof. Or... thing with holes in it?

Alexstrazsa
Moderator
#22 · 112w, 1d ago · 20 · ·

"Quivering ball of horse" will always be a favorite phrase of mine.

#23 · 112w, 1d ago · 6 · 1 ·

EVERYONE WAS PHONE

#24 · 112w, 1d ago · · ·

My mind? Totally blown. Words cannot express the 'dafuqs' I am experiencing.

#25 · 112w, 1d ago · · ·

My hurts brain :applejackconfused:

#26 · 112w, 1d ago · · ·

O...kay...

#27 · 112w, 1d ago · 12 · ·

You know it's a bad time when you need a flow chart to find out who's affiliated with whom.

#28 · 112w, 1d ago · · ·
#29 · 112w, 1d ago · 14 · ·

A DOUBLE CHANGELING! A CHANGELING DISGUISED S A CHANGELING! INGENIOUS! :pinkiegasp:

....It actually wouldn't surprise me if ponies never actually existed the way this story is going :pinkiehappy:

#30 · 112w, 1d ago · · ·

Hee, I thought about this very same idea when all the 'Pony X is secretly was a changeling' stories started showing up.

It even has the idea I was thinking of that only Celestia wasn't a changeling.

Of course, in mine, they all turned on Celestia and drained her love untils he died!  Then they realized they had no more love and died.  Then I finished it off with Discord breaking free, finding out everything was dead, and deciding to head to Detroit. :trollestia:

#31 · 112w, 1d ago · · ·

OK OK OK... after King Chinling or whatever he is called told the secret about who the changeling of Shining armor was I lost track of everything I need a chart or something this is like keeping track of all of the family ties in the book "100 Años de Soledad" without a character sheet and genealogic tree, IT IS BUCKING IMPOSSIBLE.

Thumbs up by the way for the ridiculousness.

#33 · 112w, 1d ago · 3 · ·

Well, I just happen to have made this...

#34 · 112w, 1d ago · · ·

...Yes? Is there something you changelings need? Like, an employment ledger, perhaps? Or maybe nametags or ID cards, that might help with all... this.

That was great.

#35 · 112w, 1d ago · · ·

I'm okay with this. :derpytongue2:

#36 · 112w, 1d ago · 1 · ·

That's all I have to say on that.  Funniest thing I've read in a while.

#37 · 112w, 1d ago · · ·

HA! :rainbowlaugh:

Poor Celestia. This was a fun read. :yay:

#38 · 112w, 1d ago · · ·

Well, I guess now's as good a time to mention it as any:

I'm a changeling too.

#39 · 112w, 1d ago · 2 · ·

And thus the school-age fillies and colts of Ponyville elementary looked upon the remains of their town (except for Sweetie Belle) in horror. Those among their small numbers who were blank flanks earned their marks that day in the form of either a mighty 'W', a strong 'T', or the eternal 'F'. Scootaloo would later come to laugh at Applebloom for being an orphan.

...right before she reveled herself to be a changeling as well.

...so, yeah...I enjoyed it is what I'm saying :pinkiecrazy:

#40 · 112w, 1d ago · · ·

NO Celestia should have been like the God of the changelings. Then luna should have showed up.. the real one and been like WHAT THE BUCK IS GOING ON HERE!!!!

#42 · 112w, 1d ago · · ·

Saw the title and this is all that came to mind

#43 · 112w, 1d ago · · ·

And then everyone was changelings.

#45 · 112w, 1d ago · · ·

Then Celestia returns to Canterlot, finds everypony there is also a changeling, and visits every city and town where the same thing happens. Later (during a cider-fueled panic) she releases Discord, who takes one look at the situation and decides it's chaotic enough as is, and leaves to find some other reality to bother. :pinkiecrazy:

Out of other options, Celestia goes to the moon where Luna informs her that she knew about this all along, which is why she stayed there waiting for Celestia to catch on and join her.

Eventually, the changelings realize they're the only lifeform left in the world, and most of them die out except for those who learned how to live in friendship and love and so on on their own.

Then Hasbro shuts the whole thing down as they won't make any money selling a bunch of identical changeling toys once anyone realizes they are, in fact, identical.:twilightoops:

#46 · 112w, 1d ago · 13 · ·

NEW DEVELOPMENT: The last actual pony died centuries ago. Changelings have just been slowly replacing ponies, and nopony ever caught on because, hey, he's singing about friendship and tolerance! Changelings don't like those, right? Eventually faux-pony culture became a stereotype of actual pony culture. Vivid mane and coat colors became more pronounced as time went by (the pony brain is wired to associate bright color with trustworthiness), and eventually everypony had funky colored manes. Changelings started to get lazy, and stopped rendering separate hooves, GI tract, or genitalia.

tl;dr: evolution

#47 · 112w, 1d ago · · ·

Princess Celestia gasped and sank to her knees before curling into a quivering ball of horse.


MY SIDE HURTS






>>1190912 True... true

#48 · 112w, 1d ago · 5 · ·

>>1190056>>1190073 You both are wrong! Celestia is Luna who is still on the Moon and she has spend the last 1000 years replicating and living the life of Celestia on Equestria (aka the moon, because it's all an illusion). The Mane 6 is an illusion. The ponies are an illusion. The changlings are an illusion. Equestria is an illusion. And Celestia (aka Luna) is delirious.

#49 · 112w, 1d ago · · ·

So... What the hell where they feeding off of?

#50 · 112w, 1d ago · 2 · ·

So obviously, the best pony is really changeling.

Who is disguised as a changeling while pretending to be a changeling in the midst of masquerading as a changeling and has been a clever hoax of a changeling that is in fact a real changeling that's taking the place of the other changeling that was supposed to imagine being a changeling but failed because it still was a changeling but succeeded beacuse of it being a changeling which leads on to the prospect of replacing ponies with changelings-

Deeeeeeeeeeeep breeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaatttttttttthhhhhhhhhhhh...

I can go on forever. Why?

Because changeling is best pony that is really a changeling pretending to be a pony but since all ponies are changelings it is pretending to be a changeling but that cannot be because-

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