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Bronius Maximus 2711062

Joined October 2011
1,617 followers

    Bronius Maximus's Stories (27)

    • The Twilight Hours
      AJ and Twilight keep meeting in her library in the middle of the night, and RD wants answers!

      21,595 words · 10,246 views · 1,050 likes · 22 dislikes
    • When The Field Becomes Fallow
      I love my brother. I know lesser mares would've quit by now. When he boarded that train to the changeling territory, he was still Macintosh. When he came back he was still the same, but... different.
      2,853 words · 3,964 views · 481 likes · 8 dislikes
    • Birthday Wish
      Scootaloo just wants one thing for her birthday; something Rainbow is determined to make happen.
      5,070 words · 6,204 views · 923 likes · 24 dislikes
    • Everything You've Ever Wanted To Know About Wings (But Were Afraid To Ask)
      Twilight gets schooled in the ins and outs of wing ownership by her pegasi pals.
      4,593 words · 10,449 views · 1,373 likes · 40 dislikes
    • A Pony Walks Into A Bar...
      16,983 words · 9,272 views · 1,293 likes · 39 dislikes
    • At Home on the Range
      39,443 words · 15,726 views · 1,135 likes · 39 dislikes
    • The Sky Is Falling
      27,881 words · 13,408 views · 1,236 likes · 44 dislikes
    • As The Songbird Sings
      7,063 words · 2,747 views · 483 likes · 15 dislikes
    • Lone Black Train
      2,745 words · 4,804 views · 502 likes · 20 dislikes
    • Eternal Lament
      4,443 words · 5,146 views · 497 likes · 20 dislikes

    There are some things mortal minds were not meant to witness. Great and powerful secrets, the pursuit of which have driven every pony foolish enough to search for them to madness. Except for one. Once Twilight Sparkle discovers what is hidden, her previous perspective will come crashing down around her, leaving only her friends to piece together her puzzle, and save the town egghead from certain insanity.

    First Published
    5th Sep 2012
    Last Modified
    24th Sep 2012

    Comments ( 45 )

    #1 · Chapter 1 · 37w, 2d ago · · ·
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    Please don't read too far into the theoretical physics behind time travel. I know I sure didn't.

    #2 · Chapter 1 · 37w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>1222327

    I'll leave that to someone who has more college degrees than the state of Colorado

    #3 · Chapter 1 · 37w, 2d ago · · ·
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    what is this movie that you made this fic for

    #4 · Chapter 1 · 37w, 2d ago · · ·
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    This sure feels promising. I anticipate two things: one, seeing where the "dark" tag comes in, especially since it's the only tag, and two, reading a story that leads to bonding, sympathy, protectiveness, whatever arise in the mane six in regard to Spike.

    #5 · Chapter 1 · 37w, 2d ago · · ·
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    Okay you got me i'd like to see where this is going and i hope it had an ending:derpytongue2:

    #6 · Chapter 1 · 37w, 2d ago · · ·
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    The movie was Event Horizon, and it was a psychological horror gorefest. With no gore tag, I'd guess we're focusing on the psychological here. I'm really looking forward to your inner demons / traumatic memories for each of the principle characters. This taste was pretty cool; just enough of a setup to get me interested, with nothing extraneous holding it down. I'd hope the subsequent chapters are a little longer, however.

    Anyway, looking forward to it.

    #7 · Chapter 1 · 37w, 2d ago · · ·
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    Great scotts

    #8 · Chapter 1 · 37w, 2d ago · · ·
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    yeah I'm definitely liking this one. I'll be keeping tabs on it.

    #9 · Chapter 1 · 37w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>1223331 you are correct. There will be no vivisections in this fic. I mostly find gore in pony stories a bit unnatural if not done correctly. I feel most bronies wouldn't want to read about their best pony being gutted and strung up on a space ship by an eye-less physicist. I'm going to try and build on the suspense, and focus more on that and the mystery of what happened to Twi and Spike. Without giving too much away, I hope you'll enjoy it.

    #10 · Chapter 1 · 37w, 2d ago · · ·
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    Wow! Time travel! :pinkiehappy: This is going to be good!

    #11 · Chapter 1 · 37w, 2d ago · · ·
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    If I'm any judge, it looks like Twilight succeeded, but forgot to bring her body along for the ride. I'm looking forward to seeing the particulars.

    #12 · Chapter 1 · 37w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>1222327

    Quantum Physics.

    #13 · Chapter 1 · 37w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>1226534

    Pretty sure everything involving time travel is still theoretical...

    pretty sure anyway...

    ...

    TELL ME WHAT YOU KNOW!

    #14 · Chapter 1 · 37w, 1d ago · · ·
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    That was a pretty awesome chapter of a story.

    Nice cliffhanger at the end. :I I need mooooore.

    #15 · Chapter 1 · 37w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Seems cool, i'll definitely favorite dis.

    #16 · Chapter 1 · 37w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1227441

    Cool  Thing Proved that's not a hypothesis and ideas : Everything You are Actually Doing Can Determine Missing Pieces of History, Why?

    Everthing that happens NOW can be used to derterminate the PAST

    "dont wanna explain why, coz you'll have to check altime10's vids for the answer and everytime i watch one vid, i end up spending 2 hours watching, sharing, commmeting and subbing ot other channels....

    #17 · Chapter 1 · 37w, 1d ago · · ·
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    How does knowing the position of a subatomic particle let me know where it was previously?

    #18 · Chapter 1 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1223331

    Oh God, that movie was.......traumatizing.

    #19 · Chapter 1 · 36w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Very interesting. I'm assuming Twilight accomplished this feat, but it didn't end quite like she imagined, like her body was not a part of going through time. But I might as well tell you I'm terrible at taking guesses, so maybe I'll stop there before I go too crazy. :derpyderp2: But as to where Spike is, I don't really want to say until we get some more details as to what exactly happens.

    As I am taking a high curiosty at this, I can't help but be excited for what is to come next. With the "dark" tag being a part of the story, things obviously don't go at all well.

    #20 · Chapter 1 · 35w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>1224565 and >>1243556 i'm saying Spike was caught up and he was the one that's going for a ride or something like that i haven't seen the movie this is based off so I'm not quite shore but it but I can guess.

    When the next chapter coming out I'm so curious to what happens next.

    #21 · Chapter 1 · 35w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>1301552 Hmm. That leads to an interesting combination of our theories: Twilight's mind in Spike's body in another time. Where's Spike's mind? Perhaps in the comatose pony.

    :trixieshiftright:

    Note to self: Open a pub named The Comatose Pony.

    #22 · Chapter 2 · 34w, 5d ago · · ·
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    Thanks to RazedRainbow

    #23 · Chapter 2 · 34w, 5d ago · · ·
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    Cant wait for more :pinkiehappy: ...... does that make me a bad person to want these characters to get psychologically tortured? NA of course not :pinkiecrazy:

    #24 · Chapter 2 · 34w, 5d ago · · ·
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    Totally worth the wait.

    #25 · Chapter 1 · 34w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>1222327

    Which reminds me, are you taking a dualistic point of view for this? While I'm a materialist myself, dualism is pretty fun for fiction, especially with  classical teleportation.

    #26 · Chapter 2 · 34w, 4d ago · · ·
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    Sweet an update:derpytongue2:.....oh this is going to be one interesting story

    #27 · Chapter 2 · 34w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>1328905 Yeah it will go from the present (mane 6 mystery solvers YAY!) to the past (Twilight and Spike's wacky adventures in the 9th plane of eternal torment. Or wherever they went.).

    #28 · Chapter 2 · 34w, 4d ago · · ·
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    Woohoo updated! :D

    Riz
    #29 · Chapter 2 · 34w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>1328066

    Max would you please explain to this "How would she explain Spike's absence to her sister?"

    Is this a Sweetie X Spike thing ?

    #30 · Chapter 2 · 34w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>1330450 No. If it had any shipping, I would have tagged it as such.

    Riz
    #31 · Chapter 2 · 34w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>1330580 Then why is Rare concern on how to explain to  Sweetie about Spike ?

    #32 · Chapter 2 · 34w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>1333858 Because they are friends. You can't just say her friend is missing and no one knows where he is. Not every character has to be romantically involved with another.

    Riz
    #33 · Chapter 2 · 34w, 3d ago · · ·
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    #34 · Chapter 2 · 34w, 3d ago · · ·
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    This lookin' good. It's nice to see Rarity so intensely concerned for Spike; there are just too many stories in which the author (and by extension the characters) either don't care about him or barely acknowledge him. Here's hoping for an extra-affectionate reunion.

    And Twilight's creepy response was pretty chilling. Makes me wonder what happened to her. Possessed?

    #35 · Chapter 2 · 34w, 3d ago · · ·
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    Creepy ponies are creepy... I approve.

    #36 · Chapter 2 · 34w, 2d ago · · ·
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    Is that orb with the three rings the same one from 'Event Horizon'?

    #37 · Chapter 2 · 34w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>1341211 Yes. I just loved the design so much I shamelessly ripped it off. :twilightblush:

    #38 · Chapter 2 · 34w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>1341621 Twilight with the bandages over her eyes also seems eerily familiar. :trixieshiftright:

    Enjoying it so far though!:pinkiehappy:

    #39 · Chapter 2 · 34w, 1d ago · · ·
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    For those who need help visualizing.

    I always thought it looked like one of those desktop gyroscopes you can buy.

    #40 · Chapter 2 · 34w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1348221 Oh man I would so buy a desk top toy thing like that.

    #41 · Chapter 2 · 31w, 2d ago · · ·
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    This fic...it be damn good.

    #42 · Chapter 2 · 14w, 16h ago · · ·
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    I'm eager to see this fic continued, as I am interested to see the why, what, how, ... of this creepy situation.

    #43 · Chapter 1 · 8w, 4d ago · · ·
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    Well, this has been in my "read later" for a while, and now that I'm an editor, I figured that I should really get around to it for whenever you get back to it.

    Based off of Event Horizon, eh? Well, this is going to be... fun.

    harnessing and controlling the three forces that govern our universe: magic, gravity, and magnetism.
    And this is the part where I start hoping that they just haven't discovered the nuclear forces... Also, that magic isn't a stand in for them both. That could make Twilight... uh... capable of... um...

    Also, the music is strangely appropriate.

    Either way, she's the Element of a fundamental force. That's... just whoa. I don't even know how to respond to something that cool.

    On to the darkness.

    -----------

    The basic outlines of some of Twilight's gadgets were visible, but not much else.
    No comma, or change to "that was all"

    but looking far more thin than
    "thinner"?

    "Say Spike, what exactly
    Comma.

    What was I supposed to do? Say 'no'?" she said
    "asked"

    normally well combed hairstyle.
    "well-combed"

    #44 · Chapter 2 · 8w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>2318272 I've recently decided to restart this fic, so you may be getting chapters of this in the future.

    #45 · Chapter 2 · 8w, 4d ago · · ·
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    YAY! Descent into madness! It wouldn't be a good horror story without one of those. Or seven... Just wondering if you'll incorporate dreamwalking Luna into the story. I could see that offering some very interesting options.

    ----------

    "Twilight?" she asked softly, "Can you hear me?"
    You need to lose the capitalization on the "Can" or make the comma a period.

    Fluttershy tried to scream, but found no air in her lungs. She withdrew just as Twilight began to convulse. The shaking from the bed drew the other's attention as the machines monitoring her began to sound their alarms. The medical team burst through the door and began trying to stabilize
    No comma. "alarms rang" She's in a hospital. We know she's hooked up, and we can assume it's the machines beeping. "rushed to stabilize"

    "She looked at me with this horrible smile, and nodded!"
    No comma.

    write the princess on our
    Cap that.

    "Good thinkin' Rarity!
    Comma.

    neat and tidy (if not a bit dusty) interior
    "tidy, if dusty, interior"

    she opened the door fully as the hinges squealed in protest.
    This is worded a bit oddly. "the hinges squealed in protest as she opened the door."

    The stairs were old, and didn't seem very stable,
    No comma.

    In the corner of the room, was a large ball on a pedestal, twice the
    In order to avoid the unnecessary strangeness of theses commas, how about

    "A large ball on a pedestal stood in the corner of the room. It was twice..."

    Please help me
    Comma.

    She glanced down at the ink puddle, and gasped in horror.
    No comma.

    "Make them stop Rarity, please!"
    Comma.

    "I don't know, it was just a guess."
    Period.

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