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When Rainbow Dash's newest trick backfires spectacularly, she and Fluttershy find themselves stranded in the middle of nowhere. Together, they'll have to survive and find their way back to Equestria and Ponyville...no matter how far the journey.
(Originally submitted to Equestria Daily)
Art by katwalk.
Still find the ending a bit awkward, probably mostly for the somewhat cornball end line (I mean that in the most endearing sense though) or maybe the stealth shippy element (seriously, did it exist? if it did, I'm still completely oblivious to it), but, well, as I said on EQ, this is a damn near perfect representative of the adventure genre.
Still a feckin' brilliant story, good writer, feckin' brilliant.
OTEOTM suffered rather severely from lack of planning and ending fatigue. Hopefully my future efforts will be somewhat less crippled. I learned a lot writing it though, and I had a lot of fun experimenting with various techniques. Insofar as the shipping goes, it was the foundation-building for a relationship than a relationship itself. So, yes, possibly too subtle but the intent is there.
>>1623 I could kinda see the ending fatigue to certain extent with the amount of elements that ended up in the final chapter (the ghost town, the spirit coming back, the injury to Fluttershy, the abbreviated homecoming recap), most of which probably could have held a chapter all on their own. You still handled it better than most (and I love surreal/horror elements anyways so the ghost town was filed under A for Awesome) so I really have no right to complain. After all, these were far above the normal/average chapter length at 10k plus per, so can I really call it brief.
Awesome job anyways, even my reservations about the very end don't tarnish what you managed here.
(I definitely got the relationship building, the role reversal worked very nicely towards that end, I think I might just be ignoring the potential for shipping/romance since I not really that big a fan of it. Don't hate it, just don't look for it)
I loved this. Including the ending, honestly. I've gotten a bit tired of shipping fics. A good adventure story that resolves into a relationship and a future together was much more satisfying than all the shipping angst that so many of these stories are full of.
This is so incredibly written. I was astounded at the word length, which is excellent, because, not only did you cover such a BROAD expanse of subject matter, but did it in such a way as to call it efficient. Just purely astounded! And, yes, I took the time out of my sleep this before-morning to read it. (I kid you not, I probably spent a good hour-and-a-half reading, it was THAT enticing) I honestly cannot wait to see what you have planned next, and now I must catch up on your remaining stories.... in the morning...... if you have more, that is. ;P
This story is awesome. Enough hints of romance to satisfy shipping lovers, but subtle enough to avoid putting off those who don't like mane cast shipping. I loved it when I was the latter, and I still love it now as the former. 
Heck, it was this fic that made me want to start writing fan fiction in the first place. You are officially awesome, worthy of a Spike Stache. 
Five stars. All well-earned!
And another chapter of this awesome story down.
You've really done a good job of describing some of the locales they've been in, and their reactions seem very hum- er, pony-like.
It's been a very engaging read so far, and I'm looking forward to the next chapter!
And now, with all three chapters read, I can safely say that was the most well written, well fleshed, and well composed fanfiction I have ever read, based on any story.
You told an amazing tale, from start to finish, and I felt really involved in the story. I loved your subtle hints at romance along the way, and it seems like a real and believable development, without being blatant "Oh my god I love you so much" like so many fics tend to do.
Leaving this story (to the sequel, of course!), my thoughts are mostly comprised of 'If this author ever wrote a novel, I would probably be so compelled I would read it start to finish in one sitting, then wake up the next day and feel a strong urge to do it again.'
Keep up the great writing.
This story was the first MLP fan fiction that I read when I saw it on EqD. I must admit, I had a slightly cynical outlook of the fan-produced stories and the quality that might be, but that changed swiftly once I began to read. I was quickly absorbed by your work, and I can safely say that it catapulted me into reading fan fiction wholeheartedly. I thank your for your brilliant work.
So I got about half way through the first chapter of Apotheosis, and there were a lot of references with RD and fluttershy that I wasn't understand. So I checked your stories page, and sure enough, here's this!
Since Apotheosis seems to be so popular, maybe you should link this story in your synopsis to get more comments and views. I know I would have appreciated it 
This was the first pony fic I ever, EVER read. And I love it. It was cute, heartwarming, awesome, had some sad bits, and kept me on the edge of my seat. The only thing that bothered me was the ending, and that was because it was the end. That's it. I would say "MOOOOAR" but I doubt you'd make more, aside from the pseudo-sequel. I just wanted to let you know that this was my first pony fic ever read, and now that I have found it again it has secured its spot as my #1 favourite fan fiction ever.
Five stars and favourited. And even though it's pointless, tracking as well. Thank you for this. Flutteryays for you. 
I have read plenty of fanfic's in my time in this fandom, but This is so much more than a simple fanfic. It is the embodiment of everything a well wrote and well put together story should be and has quickly ranked right up too #2 in my most favorite fanfic's I've ever read. I just wish i had read this before i read it's sequel.
All in all, excellent read and excellent work. You have gained the right to half of my currently owned internets, congratulations. 
Well, after reading both Apotheosis and OTEOTM, I think I must logically conclude that you are easily one of the better (if not the best) adventure writers within our fandom. Of course, this saddens me to know that it is unlikely that we will see anything new from you in the future!
Anyway, top class adventure story. My one nitpick would be the transition of time. I wasn't able to get a feeling on how long they had been away, so when I was told that they had been gone for over a month, I was left feeling very confused and a little disorientated. I guess as an extension of that, some of the action transitions felt too smooth as well. Scenes like the ice dome collapsing just seemed to lack a certain kind of punch, and I think that might have been because there was no room for tension or forewarning. Ironically, I think that the lack of tension stemmed from the smoothness of your sentence structure, haha.
Anyway, I'm going to stop nit-picking, because I really, really loved this. It was a great read with amazing vision and imagery. Daetrin scene/world building is best scene/world building. Best of luck for all your future writing endeavours!
Well-written, engaging, page-turning plot. Definitely deserves a thumbs-up. One question, though: why the "romance" tag? The change in their relationship (as mentioned on the last page) seemed more to me like a closer friendship than a romance. I didn't pick up on anything romantic at all in the story. Maybe I'm missing some subtle innuendos...? 
Hm. Speak of Rainbowshy or Flutterdash or whatever else - all I found was a grateful, heart-mending end to a crazy adventure starring two very different ponies, their differences between somehow saving both of them from terrible danger - mere chatter amongst a greater truth. Faith, hope and the knowing what comes shall be overcome is the permeating gift left me from this wonderful tale.
Well written, well inspired. I look forward to more of this sort of writing. Huzzah!
I was asked to read over your story and write a poem for it. A few months ago I had been going through a stint of allowing people to request stories and poems from me and a poem on your story happened to be one of them. Even though it wasn't my idea to write the poem, I still had a lot of fun reading and writing for your story.
Ahem... anyway, what exactly about my poem was "fantastic"? (leans in close, nearly falling off chair)
I knew nothing about this! Who requested it?
And the poem definitely manages to distill the emotive components out and in doing so heightens them since they're more concentrated. Though it seems one-sided I freely admit OTEOTM was not narrator-balanced so it certainly is more from Dash's POV as the poem is. That's probably due to the high contrast between the two though, Dash has a tendency to seize agency.
Well, in my first month of being a full fledged brony, I have read some of the greatest stories I have ever read. I have not seen a greater story with such a good example of character development and not to mention keeping the spunk of rainbow dash and the subtle actions and words of fluttershy WHILE showing advancements in their characters. This is a very memorable story and I did not see much romance, but I did see a relationship emerge. It was of a great love of a friend and not of a deeper variety. You, sir, get a 5 star from me. 
>>545564Actually, I believe it was perfect. You can't improve perfection. And I am reading your newest story and already love it. I will read it before the morning arrives here in the old central time. It has started off fairly well, but I did see some fluctuations with the actually story. I am quite sure that luna still had her powers after her Nightmare Moon Phase......LOL anyway, I didn't see any change. Nor did I see her use her magic. Hmmm.........GOOD SHOW SIR. You didn't even have to reply.
Uhhmm... wow.
I was not expecting this level of greatness when I started reading this fic. This is by far, and unquestionably the best fic Ive read so far. It is actually better than some books I've read.
What I commend you for:
**Great illustration. A literally illustrated novel wouldn't have even done equal justice. I could picture the environments and characters so well because of you great descriptions.
**Great emotional play. Not too mushy and suggestive, as a usual ship may be. Sad moments where seriously heart breaking, happy moments where purely amazing. I shed a tear (maybe <.< >.>) at a few points, mostly in the last chapter.
Here are the emotions I felt, probably in order::
5 out of 5
Somehow I can't help it, but I can't get the idea out of my head that when they return, their friends won't believe RD that she took down a dragon. Then Scar shows up to meet his friend(propably Celestia) and greets RD with something like "Hello Dragon-vanquisher! Lovely weather, right?" And everypony else looks just like this:
I'm going to nitpick here for a bit, but mostly because This story really warmed my heart.
I loved the depth of character you gave to Dash and Shy. Some wonderful chemistry between those two during their journey, and I, for one, found their inseparability at the conclusion to be appropriate and justified within the text. It doesn't necessarily imply a love interest, but more plainly a common bond of experience. They are inseparable because no pony else will truly understand their journey.
That said, I found the homecoming scene to be weak in comparison to the prior scenes. This was supposed to be the culminating event, and it did not deliver the emotional punch worth of your story. In detail, I thought that the emotional content of the remaining four to be significantly underwhelming. Pinkie was restrained. Twilight was reasonable. AJ was absent and almost bored. Rarity was an afterthought. These four were on a journey as well, although their journey was an emotional one and not spatial. You didn't take us on that journey. We needed to see their happiness, yes - but we also needed one month of frustrations and recriminations, worry, determination, sorrow, consolations between the survivors. When Dash and Shy returned, they had never been gone, and that frustrated me.
I am being harsh about this because I really loved the story. Please take this in the spirit it was intended; from a writer, to a writer, about writing I admire.
Yeah, I really suffered from ending fatigue on OTEOTM. Actually in retrospect about a third of the story overall is a mess and should be completely rewritten, but there's really no time to do that when I'm writing so many other things <.< It was a learning experience, just as Apotheosis was. With each story I (hopefully!) get a tiny bit better.
Awesome story, well written with good characters and great locations.
I was getting Definate hints of HG Wells and Phillip Pullmans Dark Materials trilogy, maybe a bit of ico, Shadow of the colossus from the scenery, all in a good way!
You Sir, have earned a follow. I wish all fanfic was this good.
Incidentally it had just the right amount of shipping for me.
I remember reading this on Google Docs back when this was linked from EqD, and I'm really glad I found it here. This is my favorite adventure, and it did a lot to get me to like Rainbow more. Rainbow fighting a dragon and taking care of Fluttershy's injury was cool, but I think Fluttershy shined above it all. Hands down, my favorite part was when she made a god flinch. That was awesome.
I agree that the last part felt a bit rushed, now that I know it was more fatigue than anything else, but I thought it was simply due to all the elements being introduced in the last part. I still thought it all ended very well with the rather thinly veiled FlutterDash, but it could still fall under friendshipping since after all they went through together, they know that as long as they have each other, nothing can stand in their way.
This was the second fan fic I ever read, and it did two things. One, it restored my faith in fan-fiction after reading cupcakes, and two, introduced me to shipping. Both things I've not looked back on. This is one of my favorite stories with lots of powerful scenes, fantastical scenery and great character building. It seriously saddens me to see people who dislike the FlutterDash ship, or even Rainbow Dash herself because they view her as too abusive and whathaveyou. I honestly believe there are two kinds of people when it comes to this fic, people who love it, and people who haven't read it.
Wow. Just wow.
Seriously one of the best fics I have ever read. 
Just discovered this story yesterday and could not stop reading until I finished.
Especially with Dash and Fluttershy being my two fave ponies this was an excellent read
Praise for you
Flutter and Dash stayed in character the whole story and their reactions seemed really show accurate (which isn't that easy to do) 
Your descriptions of the different worlds and characters were really stunning, and also really great ideas
And the way everything just flowed well together. The scenes in Cantertrot were legit freaking me out while reading 
To sum it up amazing story and all my love to you! 
This . . . this . . .
Good gosh, I'm not sure I could say anything that hasn't already been said. This is just . . . amazing. Fantastic.
I'll definitely be reading "Apotheosis" now.
Thank you for writing this. Thank you for teaching me a few words "Like "sangfroed" and "detritus". Just . . . thank you.
Liked and faved.
It's got relatively few comments for a couple reasons. The main one being it was uploaded all at once - gathering viewers and speculation and begging for more works better when you do things incrementally.
Also it was never box-featured <.< Possibly because of when I submitted it (ages ago) and possibly because it was submitted all at once, so...
Edit: And I don't engage in as much dialogue with my commenters as I probably should <.<
That was a fantastic adventure story, I don't think you really needed the shipping label on it though. The only real weaknesses I can find it it are some oddly worded sentences and weird words.
Like
' “As long as we stick together, there’s nothing to worry about.” Dash told her, and Fluttershy nodded. It wasn’t until a few seconds later that she remembered the other pegasus couldn’t see her, and she flushed in the darkness.'
I'm assuming you meant "blushed in the darkness" but I'm not sure, you used the term "flushed" more than once. There were a few others and even one paragraph that made almost no sense but I can't find it again.
Anyway, as I said, fantastic story, its getting added to the favorites list, I'm definitely gonna wanna read this again.
I read this one on EQD a long while back, but I'm still impressed with it. Very imaginative, very engaging, and very patient - all ingredients of a great adventure story. Plus it's about my two favorite ponies, so that's a bonus.
Like a lot of folks have already said, this probably doesn't need the romance tag. I didn't really detect a hint of shipping until the very last few paragraphs, and even then it was kind of ambiguous. I guess it's a matter of interpretation, I suppose - I prefer to see RD and Fluttershy as just friends, but I think you handled their relationship really well here. At any rate, great job with this. Totally faved.
Be seeing you
(Sorry, couldn't resist, seeing your username)
This story reminds me very much of the old school sci fi books of my dad's. They are much, much shorter than most modern novels, yet by and large lose nothing in the storytelling department. This, too, is ... dense. Much happens in fewer words than many other stories, while still having time for rich worldbuilding as well as a compelling story.
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