<

Daetrin

Joined August 2011
1,004 followers

Sequels

  • Apotheosis
    Twilight and Luna explore a land that appears on no map

    45,656 words · 17,644 views · 2,079 likes · 28 dislikes

Stories (4)

  • Triptych
    What does it mean to be a pony? A ruler? A god?

    52,001 words · 4,889 views · 830 likes · 8 dislikes
  • Apotheosis
    Twilight and Luna explore a land that appears on no map
    45,656 words · 17,644 views · 2,079 likes · 28 dislikes
  • Off The Edge Of The Map
    Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy journey through unknown lands.
    34,894 words · 15,277 views · 1,440 likes · 19 dislikes
  • Cartography of War
    A tiny slice of the great gryphon-pony war.
    14,686 words · 582 views · 56 likes · 0 dislikes

Blog Posts (94)

Source

When Rainbow Dash's newest trick backfires spectacularly, she and Fluttershy find themselves stranded in the middle of nowhere. Together, they'll have to survive and find their way back to Equestria and Ponyville...no matter how far the journey.

(Originally submitted to Equestria Daily)

Art by katwalk.

First Published
10th Aug 2011
Last Modified
10th Aug 2011

Comments ( 163 )

#1 · Chapter 3 · 153w, 6d ago · 1 · ·

Still find the ending a bit awkward, probably mostly for the somewhat cornball end line (I mean that in the most endearing sense though) or maybe the stealth shippy element (seriously, did it exist? if it did, I'm still completely oblivious to it), but, well, as I said on EQ, this is a damn near perfect representative of the adventure genre.

Still a feckin' brilliant story, good writer, feckin' brilliant.

#2 · Chapter 3 · 153w, 6d ago · · ·

OTEOTM suffered rather severely from lack of planning and ending fatigue. Hopefully my future efforts will be somewhat less crippled. I learned a lot writing it though, and I had a lot of fun experimenting with various techniques. Insofar as the shipping goes, it was the foundation-building for a relationship than a relationship itself. So, yes, possibly too subtle but the intent is there.

#3 · Chapter 3 · 153w, 6d ago · · ·

>>1623 I could kinda see the ending fatigue to certain extent with the amount of elements that ended up in the final chapter (the ghost town, the spirit coming back, the injury to Fluttershy, the abbreviated homecoming recap), most of which probably could have held a chapter all on their own. You still handled it better than most (and I love surreal/horror elements anyways so the ghost town was filed under A for Awesome) so I really have no right to complain. After all, these were far above the normal/average chapter length at 10k plus per, so can I really call it brief.

Awesome job anyways, even my reservations about the very end don't tarnish what you managed here.

(I definitely got the relationship building, the role reversal worked very nicely towards that end, I think I might just be ignoring the potential for shipping/romance since I not really that big a fan of it. Don't hate it, just don't look for it)

#4 · Chapter 3 · 153w, 3d ago · · ·

Awesome fanfic is awesome

#5 · Chapter 3 · 153w, 2d ago · · ·

I loved this.  Including the ending, honestly.  I've gotten a bit tired of shipping fics.  A good adventure story that resolves into a relationship and a future together was much more satisfying than all the shipping angst that so many of these stories are full of.

#6 · Chapter 3 · 152w, 4d ago · · ·

This fanfic is just too awesome, And this is now one of my more favorite mlp stories.

:rainbowkiss: So Aweosme!

#7 · Chapter 3 · 152w, 4d ago · · ·

I must say, that I LOVED this story,I swear its probably better than most of the books I've read and even if I expected the "shipping" to be more explicit.... ( I love Flutterdash :rainbowkiss: )

Please, make another fic like this one, *yay* :yay:

#8 · Chapter 3 · 147w, 6d ago · · ·

One of the best pony fics there is! Glad to see it here. :rainbowdetermined2:

#9 · Chapter 3 · 147w, 4d ago · · ·

This is so incredibly written. I was astounded at the word length, which is excellent, because, not only did you cover such a BROAD expanse of subject matter, but did it in such a way as to call it efficient. Just purely astounded! And, yes, I took the time out of my sleep this before-morning to read it. (I kid you not, I probably spent a good hour-and-a-half reading, it was THAT enticing) I honestly cannot wait to see what you have planned next, and now I must catch up on your remaining stories.... in the morning...... if you have more, that is. ;P

#10 · Chapter 3 · 146w, 6d ago · · ·

That was an amazing story! I can't put into words of how much it was an awesome read. Your use of imagery let me paint not just scenes, but a flowing movie in my head the whole time I was reading. Thank you for this wonderful Braingasm! :pinkiehappy:

#11 · Chapter 3 · 145w, 4d ago · · ·

omg this fan fic is awsome

i couldnt stop reading it!:twilightsheepish:

#12 · Chapter 3 · 144w, 6d ago · · ·

Legitimately one of the best fanfics I've EVER read.:twilightsmile:

#13 · Chapter 3 · 141w, 6d ago · · ·

Woah, woah, woah. WOAH. This fic is truly amazing! It's well after midnight and I have work tomorrow but I don't care because I just read the best pony fic ever! Scratch that, the best fic ever! Amazing. I hope you write more stories one day.

#14 · Chapter 3 · 141w, 5d ago · · ·

Sequel is 5/8 done.

Features Luna and Twilight.

#15 · Chapter 3 · 138w, 3d ago · · ·

Good read, and suddenly it's past midnight...

#16 · Chapter 3 · 136w, 6d ago · · ·

Sequel?

Oh, yes please!

Tip: when you post it, if you make a blog post and tag it with this story, everypony who's tracking this one will get pinged.  

#17 · Chapter 3 · 136w, 2d ago · · ·

>>2221

i agree... NEEDS MORE ROMANCE!

#18 · Chapter 3 · 136w, 1d ago · · ·

>>62037>>56547

Check out the sequel for both more story and more romance.

http://www.equestriadaily.com/2011/11/story-apotheosis.html

#19 · Chapter 3 · 135w, 5d ago · · ·

This story is awesome. Enough hints of romance to satisfy shipping lovers, but subtle enough to avoid putting off those who don't like mane cast shipping. I loved it when I was the latter, and I still love it now as the former. :pinkiehappy:

Heck, it was this fic that made me want to start writing fan fiction in the first place. You are officially awesome, worthy of a Spike Stache. :moustache:

Five stars. All well-earned!

#20 · Chapter 3 · 135w, 5h ago · · ·

Super awesome fic, I'm glad i read it.  Keep up the great writing.

#21 · Chapter 1 · 133w, 6d ago · · ·

No comments? Crazy.

Still reading through, but so far so awesome.

I imagine the next chapter will be just as great.

#22 · Chapter 2 · 133w, 6d ago · · ·

And another chapter of this awesome story down.

You've really done a good job of describing some of the locales they've been in, and their reactions seem very hum- er, pony-like.

It's been a very engaging read so far, and I'm looking forward to the next chapter!

#23 · Chapter 3 · 133w, 6d ago · · ·

And now, with all three chapters read, I can safely say that was the most well written, well fleshed, and well composed fanfiction I have ever read, based on any story.

You told an amazing tale, from start to finish, and I felt really involved in the story. I loved your subtle hints at romance along the way, and it seems like a real and believable development, without being blatant "Oh my god I love you so much" like so many fics tend to do.

Leaving this story (to the sequel, of course!), my thoughts are mostly comprised of 'If this author ever wrote a novel, I would probably be so compelled I would read it start to finish in one sitting, then wake up the next day and feel a strong urge to do it again.'

Keep up the great writing.

#24 · Chapter 3 · 131w, 22h ago · · ·

This story was the first MLP fan fiction that I read when I saw it on EqD. I must admit, I had a slightly cynical outlook of the fan-produced stories and the quality that might be, but that changed swiftly once I began to read. I was quickly absorbed by your work, and I can safely say that it catapulted me into reading fan fiction wholeheartedly. I thank your for your brilliant work.

#25 · Chapter 1 · 131w, 7h ago · · ·

Why is noone commenting on this?! >~< RainbowShy is my second favorite pairing, and I have a feeling this fic is going to make it number one. Awesome fic, keep up the good work!

#26 · Chapter 2 · 131w, 6h ago · · ·

I really like how you keep their personalities intact, but still make it more... How do I say... Realistic? Anyway, awesome read.

#27 · Chapter 1 · 130w, 6d ago · · ·

So I got about half way through the first chapter of Apotheosis, and there were a lot of references with RD and fluttershy that I wasn't understand. So I checked your stories page, and sure enough, here's this!

Since Apotheosis seems to be so popular, maybe you should link this story in your synopsis to get more comments and views. I know I would have appreciated it :pinkiesmile:

#28 · Chapter 3 · 130w, 6d ago · · ·

>>140072

You're right, and I'm dumb.  Fixed :D

#29 · Chapter 3 · 130w, 6d ago · · ·

This was the first pony fic I ever, EVER read. And I love it. It was cute, heartwarming, awesome, had some sad bits, and kept me on the edge of my seat. The only thing that bothered me was the ending, and that was because it was the end. That's it. I would say "MOOOOAR" but I doubt you'd make more, aside from the pseudo-sequel. I just wanted to let you know that this was my first pony fic ever read, and now that I have found it again it has secured its spot as my #1 favourite fan fiction ever.

Five stars and favourited. And even though it's pointless, tracking as well. Thank you for this. Flutteryays for you. :yay::yay::yay::yay::yay:

#30 · Chapter 3 · 129w, 5d ago · · ·

I have read plenty of fanfic's in my time in this fandom, but This is so much more than a simple fanfic. It is the embodiment of everything a well wrote and well put together story should be and has quickly ranked right up too #2 in my most favorite fanfic's I've ever read. I just wish i had read this before i read it's sequel.

All in all, excellent read and excellent work. You have gained the right to half of my currently owned internets, congratulations. :twilightsmile:

#31 · Chapter 3 · 127w, 5d ago · · ·

:yay::yay::yay::yay::yay:

#32 · Chapter 3 · 125w, 9h ago · · ·

i really enjoyed this story thanks

#33 · Chapter 2 · 124w, 6d ago · · ·

I had a lot of fun imagining your fictional settings:twilightsmile:

#34 · Chapter 2 · 124w, 4d ago · · ·

I couldn't help but hear everything Scar said in Kelsey Grammar's voice, and then he turned out to have an attitude almost like General Marian Cross, much win.

#35 · Chapter 3 · 124w, 3d ago · · ·

Well, after reading both Apotheosis and OTEOTM, I think I must logically conclude that you are easily one of the better (if not the best) adventure writers within our fandom. Of course, this saddens me to know that it is unlikely that we will see anything new from you in the future!

Anyway, top class adventure story. My one nitpick would be the transition of time. I wasn't able to get a feeling on how long they had been away, so when I was told that they had been gone for over a month, I was left feeling very confused and a little disorientated. I guess as an extension of that, some of the action transitions felt too smooth as well. Scenes like the ice dome collapsing just seemed to lack a certain kind of punch, and I think that might have been because there was no room for tension or forewarning. Ironically, I think that the lack of tension stemmed from the smoothness of your sentence structure, haha.

Anyway, I'm going to stop nit-picking, because I really, really loved this. It was a great read with amazing vision and imagery. Daetrin scene/world building is best scene/world building. Best of luck for all your future writing endeavours!

#36 · Chapter 3 · 123w, 2d ago · · ·

Anyone else notice, the god that essentially saves RBD's and Flutters is described almost exactly like Discord? O_o

#37 · Chapter 3 · 123w, 1d ago · · ·

Well-written, engaging, page-turning plot.  Definitely deserves a thumbs-up.  One question, though: why the "romance" tag?  The change in their relationship (as mentioned on the last page) seemed more to me like a closer friendship than a romance.  I didn't pick up on anything romantic at all in the story.  Maybe I'm missing some subtle innuendos...? :rainbowhuh:

#38 · Chapter 3 · 123w, 1d ago · · ·

>>313198

That was my first thought when it was initially described at the island lake.  There are some subtle differences, though.  Not to mention that the characterization is completely unlike that of canon Discord.

#39 · Chapter 3 · 123w, 1d ago · · ·

>>315602 yea. Other then that though......:rainbowhuh:

#40 · Chapter 3 · 121w, 7h ago · · ·

I found Apotheosis before this, but have now read both several times. And you are a master. Each time through reads as naturally and engagingly as the first.

#41 · Chapter 3 · 118w, 1h ago · · ·

Hm. Speak of Rainbowshy or Flutterdash or whatever else - all I found was a grateful, heart-mending end to a crazy adventure starring two very different ponies, their differences between somehow saving both of them from terrible danger - mere chatter amongst a greater truth. Faith, hope and the knowing what comes shall be overcome is the permeating gift left me from this wonderful tale.

Well written, well inspired. I look forward to more of this sort of writing. Huzzah!

:pinkiehappy:

#42 · Chapter 3 · 116w, 6d ago · · ·

Read this again, just because it's THAT good.

Adventure romances are win, which is why my next story will be one.

#43 · Chapter 3 · 116w, 2d ago · · ·

One of the best stories I've read

#44 · Chapter 3 · 116w, 1d ago · · ·

A lot of people complaining about the ending, I found it sweet.  Well done, I enjoyed reading it.

#45 · Chapter 3 · 115w, 6d ago · · ·

I wrote a poem for this story. Here it is. http://pastebin.com/4ubh8i9L

#46 · Chapter 3 · 115w, 6d ago · · ·

>>536794

Oh wow, fantastic, I certainly was not expecting anything like this.  Thank you!

#47 · Chapter 3 · 115w, 6d ago · · ·

>>536838

I was asked to read over your story and write a poem for it. A few months ago I had been going through a stint of allowing people to request stories and poems from me and a poem on your story happened to be one of them. Even though it wasn't my idea to write the poem, I still had a lot of fun reading and writing for your story.

Ahem... anyway, what exactly about my poem was "fantastic"? (leans in close, nearly falling off chair)

#48 · Chapter 3 · 115w, 6d ago · · ·

>>536855

I knew nothing about this!  Who requested it?

And the poem definitely manages to distill the emotive components out and in doing so heightens them since they're more concentrated. Though it seems one-sided I freely admit OTEOTM was not narrator-balanced so it certainly is more from Dash's POV as the poem is.  That's probably due to the high contrast between the two though, Dash has a tendency to seize agency.

#49 · Chapter 3 · 115w, 4d ago · · ·

Well, in my first month of being a full fledged brony, I have read some of the greatest stories I have ever read. I have not seen a greater story with such a good example of character development and not to mention keeping the spunk of rainbow dash and the subtle actions and words of fluttershy WHILE showing advancements in their characters. This is a very memorable story and I did not see much romance, but I did see a relationship emerge. It was of a great love of a friend and not of a deeper variety. You, sir, get a 5 star from me.     :fluttershysad: :heart: :rainbowderp:

#50 · Chapter 3 · 115w, 4d ago · · ·

>>545544

Thank you, thank you, it's not as good as it probably could have been, but I was mostly happy with what I did.  

Now, on to Apotheosis! >.>

0 480 1129
Login or register to comment