• Member Since 25th Nov, 2011
  • offline last seen Aug 2nd, 2016

Cheezy805


T

This is my second fanfiction. It's the life story of Ditzy Doo, beginning with her in primary school.
She was always made fun of because of her eye condition, until she found a single kind soul.

Tell me what you think, and if I should continue it. Honestly, don't expect daily updates, but do expect at least one a week. I get really annoyed with myself if I go for more than 3 days without writing anything.

As usual, any PMs or other messages will be answered, and I'm more than happy to respond. Go ahead and comment and/or PM me about the story, or anything else!

Source on the picture: http://emfen.deviantart.com/art/Ditzy-Doo-and-Dinky-Doo-210015688
All rights for the picture go to Emfen on DeviantArt.com (http://emfen.deviantart.com/).

Chapters (6)
Comments ( 43 )

This story is really good. :pinkiecrazy:

Nah Im joking.. This story needs to be published!

85081
It is published, it's just under moderation.
As soon as it passes moderation, this thing will go viral!
You should have seen my first story. It got about 10 views before being published, then got about 1,000 within the first three days.
Then again, I put out 3 chapters on the first day and 3 more the second...

This is very good. Watch out for the typos and use of the word hoof instead of hand.

Nice story, you need a sequel :trollestia::yay:

the only word I can think of to describe this is DAAAAWWWWWWWWW

Ha ha! I saw what you did there. Zeddicus.... You've been reading the Sword of Truth series, haven't you?

Now, onto the review.

There is copious amounts of D'WAAAAA in this story. I like it.

Issues:. J Just a few. While the pacing on this story is absolutely perfect, the wording leaves a little to be desired. Just get a thesaurus and look up a few words, change them around. Not necessarily in the dialogue, but in the description of stuff. Also, THE COMMA IS YOU FRIEND. This is a rather common issue, so easy to overlook. If this story had a pre-reader, it could go far.

Like I said, great story, and even more potential! Tracking and eagerly waiting for the next installment!

-The Librarian

this is really good. You just need to watch out for spelling and correct pony grammar eg. Everypony, hoof etc...

Other than that bravo, I can't wait for the continuation of this particular story :twilightsmile:

Love it. I always prefer to call derpy Ditzy Doo. Derpy really is a mean name. I can't wait to read more ^_^ :pinkiesmile:

I love this story.

Oh god no please no-d'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

ಠ_ಠ
You sir, are a lier. I do not believe that this is only your second fanfic.
Dear god please continue it, for it is the best fanfic I've ever read.

118944
Thanks... seriously, to get support like this means a lot to me. I pour my very essence into my writing, and to get comments like this just makes me... I can't really describe it. Happy? Self-proud? Whatever it is, I've never been good at describing my emotions. If you haven't already done it, I'd recommend reading I Always Wanted to be Like You. That one strikes way closer to home for me because I included so many aspects of my actual life... And Jecht is so much like me that you'd think you were speaking to a Pegasus if you ever spoke to me without knowing it.
I'll try to keep up the writing! I left a huge pause between Ch1 and Ch2 because of family issues and Skyrim, but now I'm just being lazy. I'll get right to Ch3. I hope to see more comments from you in the future! Constructive criticism is always appreciated.

Truly a good story. I'm quite intrigued as to when you'll introduce the tragedy, but so far you have written quite a good story. If only you would update it more often! And please, I understand the reference to the gore fic rainbow factory, but please try to avoid that as your tragedy in the fic. Irs overplayed and overused. Truly love your story though, and I look forward to more.

129863
Come to think of it, the tragedy doesn't come in until the end. I've been writing this to focus more on romance, but to make it canon... Well, you figure it out.

129970

I actually did right after I posted that comment. But it was 3 in the morning and I didn't want to change my post. Overall good post. By the way I read in your blog you like the horror fictions, have you read Cheerilee's Garden? It's not a bad one.

130329
No, haven't. I probably should, I guess. Link me to it in a PM.

Awesome story, more into history than any other I've read. :derpytongue2:

I'sh like it, except for teh rainbow factory, cause that means scootalo will never be Ditzy's friend... :fluttercry:

131099
I never said the events of Rainbow Factory come true, I just made reference to it x3
You'll notice that this is going to have spliced story references from several stories. The main one behind this story is Ditzy Doo's Dismally Derpy Day. It says that when she was in hospital she was making the bubbles dance and her wings were super-sensitive to the changes in wind. That's what I've taken into account here.
Wait for Winter Wrap-up. That's going to be fun!

5 am on an Android, so I cant listen to that song :applecry:
The scary part is that I kept thinking of If We Were Gay by Ninja Sex Party ಠ_ಠ
Ok srs tiem:

Really nice chapter, really well thought out. Interesting dynamic with the link o the song, I've never seen that used before, and I like it alot. Altbough I don't get this reference in the rainbow factory, 'fraidgggI havn't read that one. If I had to ask you to improve anything, it would be the time between chapters; it's mighty hard to care about anything else when you have to constantly check the site fo story updates.

Please disregard any spelling mistakes, this keyboard sucks
Also disregard the following text, I am apparenty not allowed to move the cursor to the end: 'fraid I havn't read that one. If I h

Hugely unbelievably huge apologies on the delay in story updating.
HUGE.
I hit a... figurative brick wall while writing this. I got 1,000 words in and simply couldn't write any more. Now I've written 5,000+ words in <90 minutes, and I think it's time for bed.

Wow. That's a herculean effort, for both you AND Zedd. This made me smile. I like to smile; I'm practically the element of Laughter.

Also, that song you linked? IT IS THE MOST FANTASTICEST PONY SONG I HAVE EVER HEARD THANK YOU SO MUCH.

As the man falling from the thirtieth floor said, "So far, so good."

I cant wait for your next chapter. And I had a feeling that the pegasus that fell from the sky was Ditzys mother. Dont know why though.

85571Yeah me to I hate the name derpy its an adjitve not a name.

Love the docter Whooves and lyra refrence

211781
Then the next one will be even better.
I'm thinking of a scene where it finally shows Zedd and Ditzy in school, and how much everything has changed since that little filly was tripped down the stairs by the bullies.
Little Heartstrings sees Zedd and shouts out to everypony nearby about how he's a hero, and Octavia thanks him.
It also starts off at a party with DJ PON-3 DJing. WILL THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY?! xD
[edit] something like that. I don't really know what's going to happen until I write it. I've gotten through that party, though, and Vinyl definitely makes an appearance.

Ch5.
Uploaded.
Time for bed
YAAAAY.
Cliffhanger. Muahahaha.

Whooooah. Dude.

I like Bazz. HE'S SUCH A CHILL BRO.

Hey, uh...as a writer I respect, would you mind taking just a quick look at the pieces I've submiutted? There's only two, and they're very short...

FILLY LYRA!!!!!! So much love, simply adorable my friend!

If you are blind and have not yet figured it out:

AUTHOR = BAZZ

One of the biggest hints is the picture he uses for Bazz is titled "My OC".
Just pointing it out. :trixieshiftleft:

242090
First to get it, haha! Good job.
Yeah, the other thing is that my middle name is Basil. Basil shortened is Bazz, and Bazz Quill is obviously Basil, derp.

Eleven. Thousand. Words.
This is my longest work yet. I'm sorry, I hope it's passable.
I also apologise on the time it took to write it, but... Fallout 3....
Review it and post any errors you find, plz and thnx!

SO, closure over love. Probably not the best choice.

Well, he's going to die on the trip. Called it already.

Great chapter

288651
Tempting, but probably not.
I'm moving on to Project: Omega soon. That'll focus on Zedd and Bazz.
Also, people are giving me weird looks because I just laughed out loud. Thanks.

It would have been a hell of a way to end it though. "As Zedd set off on his journey with Bazz, a runaway taxi with an angry yellow pegasus on the back ran over them killing them both instantaneously.".

Looking forward to next chapter.

292527
Thanks, but I have to disagree. There are better stories than mine on this site, but better than this by me is I Always Wanted to be Like You.
I'd hope to not take as long on the next chapter, but I always get massive writers block after writing a new chapter, and that's going to be even worse now that Zedd and Bazz are gone.
I also just realised that the mirror of Zedd is pretty much bbaZ
LOL no relation.
Thanks for liking the story! If there's anything you want to see in the next chapter (more RD, more Rarity, etc.) be sure to PM me!

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