An unusual type of fiction, not one that comes across everyday here in Fimfiction. Thats why I find this story fascinating

Keep it up

Cool

like the idea.

MAKE MAORS NAOS BIATCH! *throws crack to artist* MAKE MAOR!

It's pretty good, the story is pretty ridiculous, but I could get into it.

You just need an editor. I noticed a large amount of spelling and grammar errors in your writing. You should also drop a few tags.

You should probably change your rating too.

>>11738301173830 I did have some edit it. Most like he didn't look over it well enough. I will see what  can fix about it. Thanks.

good story although the description is very misleading lulz. stickin with it and favoriting.

Ok, there are some things I would like to inform you of, pertaining to this fanfic.

Firstly, there is a myriad of spelling and grammar mistakes that make it a chore reading through it.

Secondly, the story is difficult to follow, is paced oddly, and several scenes make little sense to the reader.

And lastly, your comment about offering to explain elements of the story acts as a mark that you are aware that the story is difficult to understand. If the story is like this, then it would probably be a good idea to extensively revise it. You should not have to explain your story, the story should explain itself well enough.

The premise is fine, and with some work it could stand out from others in the same vein.

Another issue is that you have explained several things in the description that I was unable to detect when reading through the first time.

Also, you should learn to place more commas in your work, as this was clearly lacking some punctuation. There were many sentences that simply looked odd when presented with no commas.

Please keep in mind that on this site you must expect constructive criticism, as it helps you become a better writer.

And one last thing: if there is ANY explicit sex involved, such as 'a little kinky stuff', the story must have a 'mature' rating.

Be well, and I hope this is helpful!

>>11739741173974 Thanks for the advice.

weird strange unique ...I LIKE IT

Image: http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8bpyoVa5O1qjog8v.gif

You cock tease!

Nice,awsome,unusual,refreshing,and Giggity

Very odd, indeed, at least it wasn't flash of light "oh mer gerd I art in equestria"  deal. I really like it.

Thumbs up, fav, watch. Keep it up bro!

Have a pony with a mustache!

Good story, but it could use some edits.

Sooo Red's sister's just going to... mount... <Unknown char here> right in-front of her brother...

...Or please tell me Red's sister's just going to snap out a game-board in the middle of the empty tub rather than... clop...

Either way I look forwards to reading more!

Eeeenteresting, very eeenteresting. Looking forward to more. I would watch you if I could, but for some reason my account doesn't want to let me watch or unwatch people. It's wierd.

I am starting to really like this story

huh that's weird.....somehow he's the eldest brother of the royal family when he is from a different universe...........seems legit

MOAR

>>12551461255146 That will be explain next chapter! If I live that is.

why jump out a damn window.

MOAR

>>12555751255575 And you shall get more. And  jumping out the window = was panic taking control.

can;t wait for the next update

...You don't half build suspense to clop scenes, straight out with twin sister incest sucking a human off.

But that's not why I'm reading this, I look forwards for more.

>>12578921257892 This chapter starts were chapter 1 left off. Did you read that?

ok....... well just gonna say this. worst family reunion EVER

he really needs learn to take news easier but then again if i was there id probably just laugh at first and wait for cameras to come outta no were making me look like an ideot

>>12584871258487

No. Mine was the worst ever. My uncle got drunk and went raging around the house breaking shit.

>>12585481258548 well i wasn't trying to bring in real life situations but last time i saw my mother she strangled the social worker in front of me and was arrested for attempted murder. i was 10 at the time and had to kick my own mother in the face to get her off the worker. haven't seen her since. twas years ago though now.  and that my friend was the worst family reunion ever. also a reason why heroin is bad.

>>12585881258588

Oh. Sorry dude....

>>12585951258595 nothing to be sorry for bro it was years ago and ive moved on

i like it have a

>>12586051258605I feel sorry for you. Then again I don't as well. Saying that only because I know how some people can get if they hear pity coming from someone else. Sorry to hear that though.

Anyways, really great chapter and I hope you update soon.

hmmmm.....alright I can get behind this

Nice I'll try to keep up on your story.

>>12619461261946 i HATE pity seriously ive moved on though theres no piont inn feeling sorry for somthing i got over long ago

>>12624181262418That's why I said at the same time I don't pity you. You're mature enough to move on, therefore you don't need pity.

>>12634701263470 ty

The way you write it is so magnifacent! The word capture me and pull away at my very core just to read a little more. I am so bucking thrilled for this story thank you for writing it.

>>12887641288764 You are welcome! And thank you.

hmm its great and all but what's with the crossover tag? what is this fic crossoverd with?

>>13082161308216 It is going to cross over with the Fan-Fiction Hands!

Oh! i haven't read that fic yet i better get started! and this is a great Fic cant w8 for the next chapter!

hmmm this has got me intureged........

Ok first of all.....First!!!!!!

Now that that is out of the way...I love this story and i cant wait for the next chapter

MUTHA FACKING MOAR BIATCH!

not bad so far. itll be intersting to see where it goes from here. also i might be a good idea to get a pre reader

Holy shit that was great

>>13664921366492 My only per-reader is lazy and a piece of shit at time. I might get a new one.

>>13666401366640

sounds like a plan then

All my yes goes to this. I wish there were more stories like this one out on fimfiction, but then this wouldn't be unique, and I probably wouldn't love it as much. Keep up the good work.

MOAR

Image: https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSGusrQAvi0FgjdueMJBPUplmOMU8ry1BLNg3pDmCjMPphdxItM

Image: https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTw-wsct33DhuiWjbZVjqX4dV8FV4K5_wTUe_X4jPMKsBnREqqM

Well Blue nitro os a good one.

Blue_Neutrino

Nice hope to see more of this story!

>>13666401366640 You need another pre reader?

"head explodes"

Lol Draco is bot older and younger than Celestia. ( he was born first but has lived fewer years)

>>13669361366936 Yes. I might fire my old one. He was reading and added a line that If I didn't notice would have totally bucked up the flash backs.

>>13691541369154 I would be willing to replace him if you are interested

>>13694371369437 Send me a private message and we could talk. I just fired my pre-reader anyway.

I can`t help but think of the song angel of darkness for some reason

i was all

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Vinyl_Scratch_lolface.png

i will not be writing writing clop

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_RageFace.png

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_RageFace.png

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_RageFace.png

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_RageFace.png

I grabbed my glasses and ran, no, sprinted out of the oversized doors, screaming, "Freedom!!"

Image: http://s3.amazonaws.com/kym-assets/photos/images/original/000/167/406/Abandon%20thread%205.gif?1318992465

so he is the son of faust and a dragon who lived as a human after being banished for trying to take over equestria?

Image: http://funny-pictures-blog.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/Seems-legit_2.jpg

also....  get pinkamenaa to try a new ''cupcake'' recipe with your prereader.... hehe.... *totaly not referencing cupcakes* (obvious sarcasm alert)

Great chapter keep it up

Moar!

Just amazing story telling skills. Is this all planned out already or are you just writing it as you go along? Anyways just amazing

>>15246071524607 It is a combination of both. I know what I want to happen but I come up with what is going to happen to get to that point on the fly. This most recent chapter is a perfect example of that.

OH MAH GAWD THIS IS AWSOME!

Long Live THE PRINCE DRACO!

>>15262981526298 Why, thank you my Loyal Subject.

moar

when is next update?

moar please

>>16947361694736 It should be soon just making some new changes. And then got to send out to my editor.

>>16948581694858

[/size] yay

[size=32] OMG I CANT WAIT

I Am interested.

Very good.

Have a 'Stache.

(Moustaches are my "Stamp of approval Awesomeness")

Good. Good... Let the righteousness flowthrough you!

(Joke) Alt. Title: :Changes For Convenience: There's A Spell For That (Obviously)

Image: http://odetocode.com/aimages/200812/leeroy.jpg

have this guy to help you?

YES! LET THEIR BLOOD STAIN THE ALLEYWAYS AND MAKE HIM MUNCH ON THEIR BONES!!!

I want this to happen. Repeatively!

Let it be possible

YOUR FUUUUUUCKED!

RUN BITCHES RUUUUN!

seems a bit OP ya know and a tiny bit rushed

im wondering why you got rid of him being human so fast

Hmmm well I am royalty and that never happens too me( granted we are a democratic monarchy and therefore I was elected into power) I will continue reading about this place.

King Lazaro Sol of Ziolia

>>18195211819521 Well it will bw rushed for the first five to six chapters, but then it will be slowed down.

>>18195591819559 He will change back into a human don't worry about that.

welcome back!

MOAR!

At the first paragraph it says roof intead of hoof. Always your writing amazes!

>>19977581997758 Moar will come, but for now you must be patient.

>>19977951997795 Thanks I will make sure to change it right away.

>>19978181997818 no problem  

Yes thank you for letting there be something interesting for me to read I've been so bored lately.

>>19978781997878 Well this should shake you out of boredom for now.