i will read this later since i love the cheapest ass game series ever: Mario Party

Ah Mario Party, a game chaotic and divisive enough to give Discord pause. Can anyone's friendship survive this infamous game? I shall read and find out.

Ok, good execution, but you need to separate each character's lines. Once somepony finishes talking, make a new paragraph.

Very nice, but the structural problems are still there. I'm going to up vote and follow because I like the concept and I think you're doing it well, but get this edited for Celestia's sake!

looks interesting, even though it needs a little bit of editing, the writing is good and the ponies are in character, tracking, even though you didn't include fluttershy

>>11735881173588 Agreed.

Also let's hope that this Mario Party won't ruin the friendships of Twilight, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack.

Well so far so good but you really do need to correct the grammar problems, find yourself a good editior if you need to.

>>11735881173588 thanks for the tip. currently writing the 3rd part and i will definitely start doing that

welp, according to the public i need an editor. anyone up for the job?

i will not write another chapter unless i get an editor. unless you guys are okay with a crap load of mistakes

>>11769351176935 If you want I think I could be an editor, what do I have to do?

>>11772011177201 pretty much correct every grammar mistake i've made. if you're willing, i'll start you off when i write the 4th chapter

>>11772011177201 and if you feel something could be changed, change it

>>11772311177231 Well I'll see what I can do.

"Applejack looked ready to roll, literally and figuratively. She wanted to use her Super Mushroom Capsule, but was told by the game that she couldn't afford it." i got here when i had to make a comment dident she alredy buy it and with that Can't she it at any time? it don't cost coins to use it only to get it.

>>11778481177848 Mario Party 5. capsules for free, costs money to use them

good story, the editing got better, and i didn't see any grammatic errors, writing is good and funny, i had forgotten the capsule system from Mario party 5 since it's been years from the last time i played it, though i seem to remember that if you didn't have any coins and managed to land on a bowser space, he gave you money out of pity or something like that.

You can always ask us for ideas too you know.

>>11881621188162 that's a good idea. a new part about that will be edited into 'PLEASE READ'

Spike will win!

As a fan of Mario Party, I'll be favoriting this. I can also be an editor.....if you want me to,,,,

I know this may be a bit picky since I am a big Mario Party fan.....

but since Rainbow Dash landed on a Bowser Space with 0 coins, and 0 stars won't it just have Bowser give RD 10 coins instead of a Ztar since she has nothing? (Remember, it's nitpicking)

Anyways, keep it up!

I really can't bring myself to take control of a fellow brony's account, even if it means having the time to work on this fic, not only do I think that would be wrong but I don't know a whole lot about Mario Party 5 because it's been years since I've played it, so I'm afraid I can't help you, I can give you ideas but nothing else.

phew, for a moment i though you where gonna drop the story

but don't worry,  most of us can wait

Hey man good news, in the time since you updated this fic I've managed to pick up Mario Party 5 and I have played each board at least once as well as completed the story mode, so if you want ideas I can provide you with quite a lot.