For as long as Rainbow Dash could remember, her life was simple, straightforward, and planned out with one goal in mind: become the best flyer in all of Equestria. Simple. But when she unwittingly comes across a tool that allows her to relive the memories of her ancestors, that simplicity is challenged when she discovers dark secrets hidden in her family's past as well as Equestria's history that not only challenge her perceptions of reality, but threatens to alter her very psyche.
As she's thrust into the remnants of a centuries-long war, as she questions the morals of those around her, as she battles to separate reality from fantasy, will Rainbow be able to hold on to her own beliefs or will she embrace her family's blood-stained traditions and finish what they started?
This could be a lot of fun
Tracking this one for now.
And take this
Well, I'm intrigued.
I've read through what there was of Brotherhood of the Moon by Zak TH.
Let's see where you'll go with this concept of Rainbow Dash's ancestor being an assassin.
Nice start.
Gonna keep an Eye on this.
You did good. Do you have an editor? This story could be much much more excellent.
Lemme guess, it's gonna be Dash chasing the goals of her ancestors, only to find out that one of her friends is a Templar, and then they have an epic showdown in front of Canterlot Castle, one of them dying in an overly-show-y fashion, and one of the Pieces of Eden is locked away in Luna's keeping, as she is also an Assassin.
...I swear, if I got that right, I'm gonna laugh. Really hard.
I can't learn enough; the Pinkie Sense is an enigma all its own!
only 2 mistakes other than that it was awsome
I'm wondering what Flutters saw... She seemed like she saw something embarrassing
Anyway, tracking this for now. .
3 pictures to describe my face when I saw this.
i.imgur.com/XRPaJ.gif?1
i2.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/005/742/sweetjesus.jpg
i2.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/004/077/Raisins_Face.jpg
Animus spell? Good concept.
Having not read this, nor played any Assasin's Creed games, this could be what sells me the games.
Fo:E sold me Fallout 3 and Fallout: New Vegas, after all.
Has promise, but needs serious editing. Will be watching this one.
Aceasta era uimitor. mai bune sa se drumul tau. si mai întuneric toamna in lumina.
(The fun is guseing what i'm saying. i'll give you a few hints. Stokes. 1800's)
cool
You got me hooked!
MORE MORE MORE! I CRAVE THE AMAZINGNESS!!!
excellentdl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Discord.png
This is absolutely brilliant! I love this so much. Excellent writing skill you have. I love how easy you make it look to do a brilliant crossover like this. Keep it up!
damn this is good.
Hands?
1179114
Hehe. Oops.
Looking good so far.
One thing I notice is that you have a habit of changing tense in the middle of a sentence. Everything will start out in past-tense, and suddenly the rest will be in present-tense.
1167450 Maybe she was a clown or a... political figure... who lies a lot and get taken down by Rico Rodriguez. That just seems like the more humorous and unexpected choice.
I it good, but like reading a wall of text at some points.
you are a motherbucking genius, keep this going man.
one thing though. the blocks of text are a little too big sometimes
1180597
Well, it needs editing wherever there's a grammatical error. Didn't notice many spelling errors, but there are issues with grammar sewn throughout. There are also the mid-sentence changes of tense I commented about on Chapter Two.
She's gaining the abilities of Shadow Streak !!
Rainbow's famiry past is going to reveal.... EEEEEEVIL, and it will make the world a sad place.
I find myself both excited and intrigued about the direction you're taking this in. Other than some grammatical errors (like the tense-switching I mentioned before) and the awkward phrasing (you have a great deal more awkward phrasing here than you do outright errors, if it's any consolation), this promises to be quite the epic tale, I think. On the subject of the mechanical issues, do you have an editor? I can't begin to count the number of authors I've seen that try to edit their own stories and wonder why it's still riddled with errors. When you know exactly what you're trying to say, you can't objectively look at what you've actually written and compare the two. Your brain glides right over the bumps in the road, because you know precisely where that road is leading. When someone else reads your story, they don't actually know where things are going to end up, so they are much more likely to notice every little pothole along the way.
Oh man, one of her ancestors has to be Firefly!
Oh my gosh, she is playing excatly how I would in Assassin's creed. Thats right Dashie, ignore the streets, those are for losers!!!
Anyway, Awesome fic, this is getting better and better. I like how this feels like number one and how it is slowly building and the use of the pieces of eden is unique.
Please, continue.
1189177
no prob bro, but man you did a great job with the cross over. This is what writing should be. Some problems though...
sometimes, dialogue is better than plain walls of text
switching tense is a good idea, but maybe a bit smother would be nice.
in any case, keep up the great work.
YAy ! Update !
Oh Luna's sweet flank! Celestia is a Templar!
Potential. That's all I'll say.
This is interisteresteringtastically wonderful.
(Pronounced Inter interesting tastically)
Celestia is Abstergo? I didn't see it coming.
Please update soon.
Bad ass story engage.
1198531 NUH DUR. templar's did consider themselves the holy knights. who do you think would be running the organization, abstergo? Templar's (formed under celestia) could have easily been what caused the assassins to go into hiding a few decades into her rule.
1198777 I Did.
back to waiting: chair mode activate
Aw dangit. Celestia is Abstergo now... Now Lna needs to be made an Assassin and everything can play out nicely. Although, I wonder if Discord is on either side.
Celstia is a templar, meh, as long as Twilght doesn't turn into templar like Celestia, I'm ok with it,
Also this is really cool and really well written, keep up the good work
OH MY GOD! Rainbow Dash is sooooo badass! I can't wait to see how awesome she will become!
Hmmm... I wonder if there is a Prophecy (note the capital 'P') regarding The Last Daughter of the Assassins, the Weilder of the Power of the Rainbow. Or maybe Celestia has wished that the Assassins hadn't died out because their usefulness as a near-cult-like police force. Maybe she wants Rainbow Dash to refound her ancestors' order?
Is Luna going to be the one who's actually working for the assassins? It'd kinda make sense.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Guys... Come on. Princess Celeatia isnt a templar or part of Abstergo Industries.
In the second chapter:
"These eight pages were actually four pairings of an image and a description of that image. The first image was that of a shroud as white and light as a cloud that could heal any wound, birth defect, or disease, no matter the severity. The next was a staff of pure gold that could bend the will of any and all living things. The third was a sword of the same gold that granted its wielder immense strength. The last, and most peculiar, was an object simply referred to as ‘The Apple’. It was a golden ball with strange engravings around its surface that possessed a range of functions, from causing insanity, to cloning its user, to granting its user’s ultimate desires. If any of these items fell into the wrong hooves or claws, it could potentially doom all of Equestria.
Thankfully, she already had three of these items sealed away in underground shrines all throughout Equestria, but it was the last one, the Apple, that completely eluded her. Until she recovered it, what was to stop it from falling into the possession of someone looking to overthrow her? The very thought haunted her for far too long. She needed to do everything within her power to retrieve it, but where would she begin?"
~ Live by the Creed
By FoughtDragon01
She has gathered the other 3 things and she needs the apple before it falls into the WRONG hands or claws. She has hidden the other things across Equestria because she didn't want anypony abusing them. Therefore, my guess is that she is either part of the Assassins or niether and just doesn't want Equestria to fall into ruin.
I rest my case...
That actually makes alot of sense.
Thank you Dash. :)
MOAR