• Published 27th Aug 2012
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Live by the Creed - FoughtDragon01



Rainbow Dash discovers a dark secret in her family's past that could change her life forever.

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9: Bittersweet Nostalgia

Hoofington. This was where it all began. Shadow couldn't believe that she had to go back to that city again. She had done a rather good job of suppressing most memories of that place, both good and bad, but the mere mention of it brought every single one of those memories crashing back into her.

Everything around her, no matter how small or vague, brought back a memory of some kind. The dirt road beneath her hooves reminded her of the walks she took with her mother on warm afternoons. The quiet, peaceful night reminded her of the bedtime stories her father would tell her. The scent of rain reminded her of the days when she would stay inside during downpours, cooped up with her parents in front of a warm fire. Nearly all of her enjoyment and comfort in Hoofington came from moments like those. Moments that she'd never be able to relieve. The thought only made her journey feel all the more lonely.

Her trek lasted into the early morning as the sun crept over the horizon. Her heart sank as she finally saw the city come into view. The mere sight of its silhouette against the rising sun made her stop in her tracks. Did she have to go in there? Yes. Did she want to? Absolutely not. But no matter how she felt, she couldn't turn away, not after coming so far. Besides, if she faced the source of her demons, they'd be easier to cope with, right? Wishful thinking on her part.

As reluctant as she was, it didn't really matter how she felt. She couldn't let anything stop her, especially not herself. She needed to press on. It was just a simple matter of placing one hoof in front of the other. What was so hard about that? Gulping down her fear, Shadow forced herself to continue towards Hoofington.

----

After what felt like hours, Shadow finally found herself right outside the city gates. The red brick archway certainly hasn't changed much since the last time she saw it. In fact, it looked worse than it had before. The ten years that have passed certainly took its toll. The walls were chipped, grimy, and just generally unappealing to look at. It must've gone for years without any proper maintenance.

Shadow just stood at the entrance for a few more moments, taking a moment to let the situation sink in. She was really here again, wasn't she? Maybe she really didn't have to go inside. She could linger around for a while until she ran into Goat again. After all, he was the one with all the information. Sure, she'd have to lie to Grey Mane about a few things, but what he didn't know wouldn't hurt her, right?

What in Equestria was she thinking? She violently shook her head to get rid of those thoughts. She needed to keep her head together. It was pitiful how was reacting to all of this. She had a mission to complete, and here she was, petrified by mere memories. Unacceptable. Shadow took a deep breath to calm her nerves. Finally, she entered the city.

----

While the entrance may have been in subpar condition, the city itself went through quite the change while she was gone. The dirt roads that she grew up with were paved with cobblestone. The familiar buildings surrounding her, once old and decrepit, had been renovated, sporting fresh paint, repaired walls, and tiled roofs as if they were brand new. It was all almost unfamiliar to the shocked mare. However, there was one thing that stood out among all of that.

Off in the distance, towering over the city like a titan, was a stone castle of some sort. It wasn't as large as the royal palace, but it was easily still the tallest structure in the entire city.

Shadow felt a pang of nostalgia hit her as she stared at it. She remembered when that castle was still just an assortment of stone and pulleys sitting in an open space right in the middle of the city. Everyone called it a construction zone, but Shadow called it her playground. Almost every night during its construction, she and her father would sneak in to play an impromptu game of hide-and-seek. Over the years, as the castle came closer to completion, it only offered more complex interiors and fun to be had. She would leap between in complete walkways, balance on teetering beams, and all sorts of other fun, stupid things. It was her own personal plaything.

Shadow grinned as she reminisced about all the fun she had there. Maybe all of her memories weren't as bad as she thought. Besides, if the castle was that fun in the past, just how much better did it get now that it was complete? Shadow tried to resist the urge, but she just couldn't get the thought out of her mind. She couldn't even take her eyes off of the structure as she considered the possibilities. The temptation was just too much. It would just be a quick peek inside. What harm would that do?

Just as she started towards her old playground, she remembered something. Wasn't Goat in Hoofington as well? He was her best source of information in this town, so it'd be for the best if she found him soon. But where would she find him? Hoofington was a rather large city. Not as large as Canterlot, but large enough to make searching for one pony a tedious task. Shadow looked back over at the castle. It was still a ways away; maybe she'd run into him on the way there.

"Heh. That idiot is likely passed out in a puddle of cider somewhere." Shadow chuckled at the mere thought of it. She could be so immature when she was nostalgic.

----

Though Shadow had made plans to visit the castle, it didn't take very long for her to become sidetracked by other familiar sights. Even though everything looked fresh and new, she still recognized them as the foalhood landmarks that they were. A well that used to serve as her favorite hiding spot from the city guards was now in use and fully functional. A small thicket of trees in a clearing she passed through had been cut down and replaced by a fountain. Several buildings that she recalled being abandoned shells of cobwebs and dust were rebuilt and served as extra housing.

As she went deeper into the city, the buildings became taller and more elaborate, sporting things such as stain-glass windows, domed roofs, and a variety of other things. They certainly weren't there when Shadow was growing up, and helped give the city a bit of class as opposed to a place like Manehattan. It was simply amazing what ten years could do to a place.

As Shadow continued on her self-guided tour, she came across a building that she knew all too well. It was a humble, one-story store, not like the more elaborate ones. To others, it just blended in with the surrounding buildings around it, but to Shadow, it stuck out like a sore thumb. The sign above the door said it all: Sweet Tooth's Candy Shop.

A childlike grin appeared on Shadow's face. This place was her foalhood paradise. Yes, she had quite the sweet tooth as a filly, and this place never failed to meet her needs. Every day, she would come to this place, and would never leave until her bag of bits was replaced by a bag of candy. She even became friendly with the store owner, she was that common.

Despite how early it was, the store was open for business. Just the thought of all the various, sugary sweets inside made Shadow's mouth water. She quickly checked the contents of her robes. She still had a good number of bits to spend. She could afford one more visit, right? She just had to. She could even catch up with her old friend. Perhaps he even knew a thing or two that could help her in the city. With that plan in mind, and with a craving itching to be satisfied, Shadow entered the shop.

----

The interior certainly went through a drastic redesign as well. Much like the exterior, the simple, brown wood that Shadow remembered had been painted over with a yellow and orange color scheme in mind. It definitely made the place look brighter, if not a bit tacky. It didn't look like the store's layout changed, though, so that was still familiar.

A line of shelves blocked her view of the counter up front, where the shop's owner was likely to be. Everything was nice and organized. All the hard candy was separated from the chewy, and the individual bits were separated from entire bags. It wasn't like Shadow had difficulty finding what she wanted; she simply wanted to browse and soak in every sweet, tooth-rotting memory.

She explored the aisles, observing everything in stock. Lollipops, pieces of caramel, cherry-flavored jawbreakers, the choices were virtually endless. It would've been easier to buy out the whole stock, and she probably would've, but she didn't have the bits for it. Now, what was Shadow going to buy?

"Need help with something?" Shadow looked down the aisle to find a disgruntled, old unicorn staring back at her, a bored expression on her face. Her messy, black mane was certainly a stark contrast to her white coat, and the glasses only added to the 'I hate my job' look. She was definitely a new owner, much to Shadow's disappointment.

"Oh, no. I am merely browsing. Pay me no mind." She peered at the clerk, as if she was trying to find any recognizable features. Not surprisingly, she didn't find any. "My apologies, I believe that we have not met yet. You are new, yes?”

"Hmph. If by 'new', you mean 'running this place for five years', then yeah, I am 'new'."

Shadow definitely didn't take kindly to her tone, but it wasn't anything worth getting worked up over. "Oh. Well, how did you get management over this place? Were you related to the previous owner?"

"I wish. No, the old stallion went and left this place up for grabs. I was just the first one to buy it. Now, if you're just here to talk, then you can get out of my store right now. I don't like loiterers, especially ones in silly, white hoods."

Shadow shot daggers at the owner. She had always pledged to never harm the innocent, but it was always the annoying ones, especially the ignorant ones, who made it difficult to uphold such a pledge. As a multitude of violent thoughts flashed through her mind, she took a deep breath to calm her nerves.

Finally calm, she looked through the assortment of sweets as she decided on what to pick. Even that process didn't feel the same. As opposed to happily chatting away with Sweet Tooth, the store's previous owner, she was silently browsing while being stared at by a hawk-eyed store clerk with an annoying mouth.

"Can we hurry this up, please?" Shadow shot the clerk another glare. This kind of tension just didn't match the cheerful color scheme. She eventually picked out three bags of candy; one for herself and two more for the girls. They were bound to like it. Even if they didn't, it only meant more for her.

Shadow begrudgingly followed the old mare up to the front counter. There, she placed the bags on the counter before digging thirty bits out of her robes. She threw them onto the counter. This wasn't the happy exchange that she was hoping for. "There. Happy now?" She was about to take her bags and leave, but the old unicorn placed a hoof down on all of them.

"Hold on a second, sunshine. Where are the other fifteen bits?"

Another scowl made its way onto Shadow’s face. "What do you mean? Each bag is ten bits." Shadow reached for the bags, but the unicorn slid them out of her reach.

"No. Bags are fifteen bits now. Can't you read?" She pointed to a sign right behind her. Sure enough, it said that bags of candy were worth fifteen bits. Well, it used to say that they were worth ten, but the ten was crudely scratched out with black paint while a fifteen sat right above it.

Shadow could only raise a confused eyebrow a she stared at the sign. "What? Why in Equestria would you raise the price?"

"It's my store, I can do what I want. If you won't pay the extra, then you only get two bags."

Shadow quickly reached in and slid the three bags back towards her. "That's outrageous. I'm taking all three."

The clerk snatched one of them back. "No, you get two bags."

Shadow snatched the bag back. "Three bags."

"Two bags."

"Three bags."

The unicorn slammed her hooves on the counter. "Two bags!"

Shadow did the same. "Three bags!"

"Two bags!"

Shadow quickly pushed her candy bag back to the clerk. "Two bags!"

The clerk pushed the bag back to Shadow. "Three bags!"

"I only want two bags!"

"You're taking all three bags and that's final!"

Shadow immediately placed all three bags into her robes. "Thank you for your business." she said with an innocent smile.

"Likewise." As Shadow trotted towards the door, a realization hit the clerk like a sack of bricks. "Hey, wait a minute!"

Shadow couldn't help but giggle to herself. It may not have been the same experience, but it was just as fun. She just loved being mischievous.

----

With three well-earned bags of candy in her robes, Shadow continued her way down the streets of Hoofington, taking in all the familiar sights, and stopping to observe the unfamiliar ones. By now, ponies were starting to come out of their houses, ready to begin a new day under Equestria's sun. Even they seemed different than she remembered. They appeared cleaner, taller, more confident.

When Shadow was growing up, Hoofington was a rather dangerous place. It was a dirty slum full of thieves and bandits just itching to mug somepony of their belongings. None of the citizens really felt safe as anything could've happened at any given moment. Shadow would be lying if she said that she didn't partake in a bit of her own thievery, but never got physical. It was usually something as small as snatching an unattended lunch or taking a few bits out of somepony's pockets when they weren't looking. But now, Hoofington was entirely different. It was brighter, happier, better. She was almost a bit jealous that she could't have been born when the city was like this.

She soon came to a stop at a particular building. She didn't know what it was, but something about it just caught her attention. Even with the renovations, it looked like it's been through tough times. Windows and bits of wall were cracked. The tiled rooftop was damaged, portions of it broken or gone entirely, as if several ponies had been running across it. Who'd be crazy enough to do that? Thieves, perhaps, but Shadow was yet to see hide or tail of any.

As for the building's actual purpose, Shadow could tell immediately that it was a tavern. Just standing outside, she was able to smell the distinct smell of hard cider pouring from the door. That alone made her a bit sick, so she didn't even want to imagine what it was like inside. As if she needed further confirmation, a large sign with a cartoonish image of a stallion chugging down a mug of cider had the words 'The Drunken Pony' in large, bold letters.

"Classy," Shadow sarcastically noted. It was nice to know that these renovated buildings were being put to good use. Somehow, she felt that she’d make more than a few stops by such an establishment.

She was preparing to leave when she noticed a few passing ponies give her worried glances. Looking around, she saw several other ponies giving her similar looks. A few even pointed at her as they whispered to their friends. It was as if she was some sort of museum exhibit. She didn't know what about her was drawing so much attention and she wasn't going to stay to find out. She quickly walked away from the tavern, still receiving weird looks from the surrounding ponies. She made a quick glance back only to find ponies alerting a nearby group of guards to her presence. By the time she rounded a corner, they were already looking for her.

This hardly made any sense. What did she do to attract this much suspicion so quickly? Haggle a store clerk out of fifteen bits? No, that couldn't have been it. Something else was going on, as if they knew she was coming. But how? That was a question she'd have to answer later. For now, she just needed to get off of the streets. Her eyes fell on a nearby alleyway. That seemed promising enough.

She darted into the alley, keeping her pace at a trot just in case a few witnesses pointed the guards in after her. In just over an hour, her stay in Hoofington became excessively complicated. For some reason, she couldn't stay out in the open for too long without attracting the attention of the city guard. That meant she needed to play smart and stay hidden, which would only make finding Goat or Solaris that much more difficult.

Until she found either of them, her best bet was to search that giant castle. She wanted to get in there for nostalgic purposes at first, but now it felt like her best bet to get some direction. There just had to be something of interest in there. There was only one way to find out.

----

Once she was sure that there were no guards following her, Shadow slowed back down to a walk. The alley soon opened up into a giant plaza, one that was jam-packed with ponies and merchant stands. The place was abuzz with chatter as ponies talked with their friends while merchant tried to attract customers, shouting that their wares and prices were the best in the city. It was perfect. Shadow could easily blend in to the crowd as she made her way across. Nopony would be able to point her out, not with so much activity going on.

However, as she approached the plaza, she suddenly stopped. She couldn't put a hoof on it, but something about the place seemed eerily familiar to her. Compared to the rest of the city, this place seemed untouched. As she was busy thinking, the answer suddenly rammed into her like a raging buffalo. This was where it happened. The Grand Plaza. Yes, it all seemed so familiar. The old, grey stone under her hooves, the strange sense of foreboding in the air, and the one thing that she did not want to see: the old gallows sitting at the dead center.

Shadow's legs trembled beneath her. Her breaths became shallow and erratic. A cold sweat trickled down her forehead. Her mind lurched as all of the horrible memories of her past here came crashing back. As hard as she tried not to, she could remember every, single, painstaking detail.

The judgement that caused it all.

"...I hereby sentence you and your collaborator to death!"

Limp bodies hanging from the gallows.

"Mother! Father!"

The blinding anger that nearly consumed her.

"I'll kill you for this, I swear!"

It had all began there.

All thoughts, all feelings, everything around her became lost to the mare as she focused on one, solitary thing: the cocktail of emotions swelling up inside her. It was almost too much to bear. Her trembling legs could no longer support her and buckled underneath her body. She clenched her teeth until they hurt. She shut her eyes tight as tears threatened to roll down her cheeks. She was teetering between utter rage and pure sorrow. One side wanted to destroy everything in sight, while the other wanted to break down in tears. It was tearing her apart.

She needed to get back up. She couldn't simply lie there and allow these memories get the better of her. Her parents raised her to be stronger than that. Grey Mane raised her to be stronger than that. She couldn't stop, not now. Slowly, Shadow forced herself back onto her hooves. She wiped the tears away from her eyes. Her breathing slowly became controlled again. She finally regained her composure.

She spent the past ten years running away from this. Ten years trying to forget. Ten years trying to hide from the reality. This was the moment when that all stopped. She needed to face this. She owed her parents that much. With determination plastered onto her face, Shadow stepped into the plaza.

----

Every step into the plaza felt like a test of endurance to the mare. Her hoofbeats felt heavy and forced, like she was trekking through mud. The various merchant stands and thick crowds practically formed a maze in the plaza, only serving to prolong her stay. The tight spaces and vast amounts of ponies did little to help her troubled breathing.

The further she went into the plaza, the more she despised the happy looks on everypony's faces as they passed by, chatting with their giggly friends. Oh, how she'd love to wipe the smiles off of every single one of their faces. This was nothing but a normal day to them. Walking through this plaza was about as natural as breathing to them all. They had no idea what she was going through. They were completely oblivious of what the mere act of standing in this damnable plaza was doing to her.

Her walk slowly increased to a trot. She turned around corner after corner, nudging her way past numerous ponies. The space around her grew smaller and smaller. Her breaths were short and raspy. She was going to suffocate at this rate. She needed to get out of there. She needed to get out now!

Just as it felt like she was about to pass out, Shadow finally broke out of that hideous maze. She was still in the plaza, but she just felt so much better now that she had more than a foot of breathing room. She let out a relieved sigh, only for it to be followed by a shocked gasp. As if things weren't difficult enough, some malevolent force of nature decided to toy with her by sending her right to the gallows.

She was too shocked to scream. She was too shocked to run. She just sat there, her body growing heavy and numb. All she could do was shut her eyes as she tried to block out the images creeping into her head. No, she couldn't go through this again. She couldn't handle it. No matter how hard she tried, it all came back yet again, and just like last time, her emotions became a swirling vortex of anger and misery.

None of it should have ever happened. She should've been able to save them. Why couldn't she? What hope did she have of protecting anyone else if she couldn't even save her own parents?

Despite her reluctance, Shadow cracked open her eyes and looked at the gallows one last time. Her blood went cold at what she saw. For a brief second, she saw her parents' limp bodies hanging from the gallows, their cold, dead eyes staring right into hers. That was all that Shadow could take.

She screamed. She screamed louder than she ever thought that she would. Before any surrounding citizens could investigate the sudden noise, Shadow bolted back into the maze of merchant stands, galloping as fast as her trembling legs would carry her. She didn't care who or what she knocked down. She just wanted to get out. She needed to get out. She needed to get out now!

Shadow finally found another way out of the plaza and wasted no time in sprinting down that road, leaving a mess of angry ponies in her wake. She didn't care. She just had to get away. If her parents saw her like this, as this emotional wreck of a mare, they would've been so disappointed.

----

Despite finally getting out of the Grand Plaza, Shadow didn't stop. She didn't want to. She wanted to get as far away from that place as possible, as quickly as possible. However, her frantic sprint was brought to an end when she reached another clearing. She didn't come to a sudden stop because there was nowhere to go. She came to a sudden stop because of what she found.

By some miracle, she finally made it to the castle that towered over Hoofington. Her jaw nearly dropped as she gazed upon it, memories of her recent ordeal slowly leaving her mind. It was definitely larger up close. Its width nearly spanned the entire clearing, leaving little room to walk around. As for the height? Its spires seemed to pierce the sky.

Its stone architecture was definitely darker than that of the royal palace. A pair of stone griffons sat on perches above the castle doors. A long line of the largest guards Shadow had ever seen blocked the front entrance. Unlike the usual fodder she's grown used to, these were massive ponies covered from head to hoof in thick, heavy, golden armor. Other, lightly armored guards sat on balconies, rifles at the ready. These guards possessed guns as well? Interesting.

Shadow continued to gaze up at the castle. She had originally wanted to get inside just for the nostalgic fun of it, but if there was something of interest in there, then that only gave her even more reason to get inside. However, this wasn't some random pony's home. This castle was well-guarded, as Shadow had already seen, but that didn't mean it was impenetrable. She needed to plan this out carefully.

Keeping her distance, Shadow slowly made her way around the castle's perimeter. With the main entrance out, she needed to find another way inside. She saw side entrances, but they were guarded as well. There were no nearby buildings that could be used to sneak in from above, and as far as Shadow could tell, there weren't any nearby distractions either. Just as it seemed like this castle was impenetrable, Shadow spotted something that sparked a small glimmer of hope. High above the ground was one of several windows lining the castle walls. This one in particular, however, was open.

Just as Shadow began to formulate a plan, she slouched over with a disappointed sigh as a realization hit her. Yes, there was a window. Yes, it was open. Yes, it was possible to sneak inside unnoticed, but there was one problem. She had no way to reach it. If she were a pegasus, or even a unicorn, it would've been no problem, but as an earth pony, it was nigh impossible. She needed another plan.

However, taking a look around, Shadow noticed that she was getting more wary looks from passing ponies. Even one of the guards protecting the castle's entrance was eyeing her. She spent too much time out in the open. Ponies were starting to recognize her again.

As she turned to walk away from the castle, she saw another worrisome sight. One of the citizens was directing another group of guards toward her, and they immediately took interest.

She was running out of time. She needed to find a way out of there before half of the city was on her tail.

She slowly scanned the area, trying to find an escape route, only to perform a double-take when she saw something very interesting on a nearby wall. Posted on the front of a nearby building for all the world to see was a wanted poster with a near perfect drawing of her face, hood and everything. Shadow couldn't believe it. She was only in the city for two hours. How could there be such a poster up already? How long had it been up? If there were more like it out there, then the entire city could know what she looked like.

Shadow looked back over to the guards. They were already approaching her. "You! Come here for a moment." One of the guards ran towards her. This wasn't good. Shadow had hoped that she'd be able to get through at least one day without any trouble, but it didn't seem like that was going to happen.

The guard reached her and roughly placed a hoof on her shoulder. "By order of Lord Solaris, you are under--" Shadow cut him off with a hard punch to the snout. As he reared back in pain, she bolted in the other direction. Before she could get very far, one of the guards on the castle balconies fired his gun with deadly accuracy. The bullet scraped Shadow's abdomen, sending a sharp pain throughout her entire body. Despite that, she didn't stop. She couldn't stop.

"Stop her!" The onlooking guards gave chase as Shadow galloped away from the castle. As she frantically sped down the city streets, more and more guards got involved in the fracas. Before she knew it, a small battalion of guards was nipping at her heels.

To make matters worse, she had to deal with another one of those fast guards, much like the one she had to chase back at Canterlot. The normal guards, with their heavy armor weighing them down, were easy to outrun. It was this one guard that gave her trouble. To add on to it, he was a pegasus, so he was easily able to keep up with the grounded mare. No matter how fast she ran, he was right on top of her. Just running through the streets like a maniac wasn't going to be enough. She needed to cut off his line of sight, then continue from there. And Shadow had and idea that would do just that.

She made a sharp turn into an alley, her pegasus pursuer staying right above her. The alley walls were full of various beams, balconies, and clotheslines that seemed more than capable of blocking the pegasus' view of Shadow. She had intended to use these objects as a way to break the line of sight long enough to find a hiding spot, but a quick glance behind her made things much more difficult than that.

The pegasus, instead of remaining high above the buildings like she had expected, he came down into the alley with her. The alley, while narrow, wasn't narrow enough to make flying in them impossible, and despite the vast number of objects in his way, he was able to maneuver past all of them without losing an inch of ground. Shadow was amazed, annoyed, shocked, and jealous of his ability. Her conflicting emotions didn't deter her from the situation, though.

The pegasus took out a blow dart and aimed it at the fleeing mare. She had no way of outrunning him, and with the alley too narrow to maneuver, her options were quickly running out.

The pegasus fired a dart.

It missed. He fired again.

Miss. He fired a third time.

Shadow felt a sharp sting in her backside. A few seconds later, a massive wave of drowsiness washed over her. She became less coordinated, staggering along as she tried to run away from the smirking pegasus. Not long after that, her legs buckled beneath her, and she fell to the ground. She tried to get back up, but all of her energy just vanished like the wind. She simply couldn't run anymore.

The stallion chuckled as he came to a soft landing next to the fallen mare. "What's wrong? Can't run anymore?" He pushed aside a portion of Shadow's robes, revealing her flank. A lecherous sneer crawled onto his face. "Don't worry. You and I are going to have a lot of fun before I bring you to Solaris."

Shadow barely had enough energy to register the words, let alone muster up a reaction. The contents of that dart left her weak and disoriented. She could barely see straight, and all noise around her just sounded like one, long, droning buzz to her. The only thing she was able to make out was the pegasus' mocking laughter, followed by a pained grunt. Not long after that, the pegasus collapsed to the ground next to her, a knife sticking out of his head.

Just as Shadow was about to black out, she saw another set of hooves enter her vision. Using the sliver of energy that she had left, she looked up at her savior. The figure was too blackened for her to make out a face, but Shadow did notice the pegasus wings.

In a calm, soothing tone barely above a whisper, the figure said, "Don't worry, Shadow. You're safe now."

With that relaxing assurance, Shadow succumbed to sleep's sweet embrace.