For want of a War, Δelta
Chapter 6,
For want of a war
Delta
Dianne paced the aisles, determined not to let distractions stop her from unraveling the riddle. True, Discord had meant it to be another method of distracting them from stopping his reign of... after pausing for a few moments she decided the voices did in fact mean to keep their word and not disrupt her efforts. The pony continued to wander in mind and body.
Three pink butterflies fluttered past her. Now where had she been in her ponderings? 'Yes, even though the riddle is a trick, Discord is too egocentric not to have included a solution that actually sheds light on what he did with the elements - I doubt he would miss a chance to gloat.' An overworked looking butterfly pulled three balloons past. 'That being said, turning and twistings are similar enough that it bears questioning whether they were both included as poetic license or to emphasize whatever turning or whirling is involved.' Three pinwheeling crosses of blue and yellow energy cartwheeled past. 'Uncertain, but the question of origin -' three butterflies pulling three balloons, each of which was emblazoned with the plus shaped symbol used to identify medical supplies drifted by.
The pink pony found herself wanting to grin. 'This is far too easy.' Schooling her expression, she addressed the next floating mass of symbolism, "This is ridiculous and I will not have it. If you have something to discuss, Discord, declaim it, else depart."
Insects, crosses, and balloons all popped out of existence. The puppet master himself materialized wearing a scowl to match Dianne's own. "Okay, easy way it is then." he snarled, advancing upon the earth pony.
She did not appear impressed. "Very well, if you will not speak, then I will. I am ready to guess."
"Wut?" the draconequus paused, too intrigued by the possibility of entertainment to disregard an obvious delay.
"Your riddle: 'Twists and tur-' "
"I think I know it, thanks. Let's hear your 'guess'."
"The site of the Cloudboom."
Discord's expression became a mask of disinterest. "What in Equestria lead you to that conclusion?"
The pink pony looked crestfallen, "I - I am mistaken?"
"I didn't say that, I didn't even imply it. I want to hear how you got that idea out of the riddle."
"The riddle ends with 'start back where you began', which must mean when the assembly of the current band of Bearers of the Elements of Harmony were tied together by fate. Twilight obviously read you like a book -"
"I never said they were ever here." Discord snapped.
Dianne did not grace the remark with a verbal response. "Ahem. Continuing, that meant you would have to default to the earlier tieing of our fates, the Cloudboom. After considering it, the 'twists and turns' could be reference to the funnel cloud of the storm. Certainly recreating the storm would be little work for the likes of you, an' would further complicate our efforts to retrieve the elements."
Discord clapped slowly. "Well well well, you're not a complete waste of character after all. I'm totally going to use that." the beast of many parts deepened his smile as the pony before him began to glare. "Honestly, I was just going to drop them off at the Canterlot Gardens and call it a draw after you six showed up here. Crafting a paradox and making you responsible for it sounds like a lot more fun though." He pulled out a curious looking hourglass filled with a translucent multi-hued pastel substance. "Plus it gives me something to do with this."
"W-what is that?" 'Pale green, blue, and pink, I mislike this... '
"Oh this old stuff? I just ended up with some extra time on my hands."
'Holey guacamole, that looks like Princess Celestia's hair'
'Or cotton candy'
'Or Celestia flavored cotton candy'
"SHUT UP!"
"Oh you do not get to talk to me like that. You did me one favor, don't think-"
"Not you, although you may cease your prattling - I'd not complain."
"Oh-khay, the crazy was amusing for about five seconds - but you're starting to bore me, again." Discord began advancing upon the pink pony.
'I have but one chance at this.' 'At what?' 'Hush. The Posey School of the Healing Arts Ultimate Technique.' She focused all her willpower into her sight, transfixing Discord with the force of a thousand disappointed parents, teachers, and small animals. "How Dare You!"
Discord found himself unable to move, unable to look away, unable to do much of anything. Shock overcame amusement, on its way to panic and then fury. "I'm going to get even with you spoilsports by showing you just how much FUN chaos can be."
"You have done nothing but toy with the lives and sanity of ponies since you obtained your freedom. Whatever grievance you may have had with ponykind, those responsible have been dust for millennia."
He moved his right foot forward, struggling to shift his weight. "Ha! Your precious princess turned me to stone-"
"You got better. Without bringing us your grievances there is no way we can even decide if reparations are needed." The angle of her eyes softened, but did not lose any intensity "This cannot be the only solution."
Maybe... maybe this wasn't the only way to secure his freedom. Raise foot. What if he was making a horrible mistake? Left foot forward. "You're slipping, Miss Pie, that was almost funny."
Sweat drenched the pony's coat, the desire to blink was almost overwhelming. "One of Jackie's cousins maintains that the difference between comedy and tragedy is whether you are struck by a train or he stubs a hoof."
He loved a good joke and rampant Chaos, but was hurting ponies really worth it? Shift weight. How would it feel to be welcome when he arrived somewhere? One. More. Step... Finally, he was within reach. "You lose, Miss Pie," he reached out a struggling arm and tapped the pink pony's forehead, draining her of color.
The amalgam smirked as the familiar rings of dull color swirled in the pony's eyes, leaning forward he hissed into her ears, "too much nurture makes for an idle mind, sometimes you must be cruel to be kind." the strain of the struggle was offset by the satisfaction of his success.
The fading finished. "Of course, it all makes sense now... suffering, pain, despair, ponies never learn without consequences!" Di hiccuped once, twice, the third bouncing her into the air. She shook all over, inflated to a sphere, shrank to a pink mote, and popped back into view in full color - her hair frizzling wildly about her head and tail. The pink mare examined herself, speaking in a lower register. "Well this is... weird."
"Just who are you supposed to be?" Discord asked, teetering between annoyance and amusement. 'Focus'
"Bubble Berry, at your disservice, Discord." 'Berry' looked the chaos spirit over, "Y'know, I think I prefer you as Eris. Uh, not because of, you know, but because you just look so weird with a beard."
"Right, this conversation is over - nopony insults the beard." Discord reached out to dislodge the interloper, and found there was no pony in front of him.
Berry hopped off disharmony's tail, continuing his ramble, "On the other hoof, it certainly makes fighting you easier - Pa always said not to hit girls. They tend to hit back - and let me tell you, it hurts." Running up the larger creature's back he jumped off Discord's head launching the amalgam into a nearby bookshelf. "Or I could just show you, I guess. That works."
Pulling his head out of 'A Crash Course in Falling', the draconequus muttered to himself. "Great, now this is happening, apparently." Discord grabbed the 'Be-Bi' volume of Encyclopedia Equestria, pulling a struggling Berry from between the covers. "Ha, gotcha you little punk!"
After another tap, the pink pony turned gray again. "Well, that was an interesting thing for a mare to have hiding in her mind - but I have things to people and places to do." The discorded pony began vibrating at high speed, seemed to inflate, and then curled in upon herself, everting at the last moment.
Once again she stood in full color, though her hair hung like limp weeds, covering much of her face. What was visible was a demented grin and an eye with a pinprick pupil. She glanced around, simultaneously familiar with her surroundings and disoriented, "Finally free again!" she cackled, humming a catchy tune.
"That is sooo not happening." Discord bopped her on the head.
Her form hadn't even finished it's color-fade before it seemed to move in four directions at once, the mass snapping back into place and revealing a pink pony with very curly hair. Confusion and amusement ran across her face in tandem as she took in her surroundings. "Ohmigosh that was weird. Dissy? Library? Wait, this all makes sense now... " the poofy pink pony dodged Discord's descending digit as she spoke, "uh, have you seen a unicorn, an earth pony, and a pegasus by any chance?"
"What? You're going to have to be more specific than that. I've seen plenty of ponies. Better yet, just hold still!"
"Oh don't be silly, Mister Meanie pants," Duck, roll. "I already spent three weeks without sleep thanks to you - not doing that again anytime soon!" She hopped over Discord's last swipe, alighting upon his outstretched arm, "huh, come to think of it, they're never given descriptions are they?" She stopped to ponder the question, and the spirit of Chaos took advantage, grabbing her and performing another discording. This time he managed to maintain a hold, the past few experiences suggesting he wasn't finished yet.
"Ohh, not so tight..." moaned yet another incarnation.
"This is definitely the wrong kind of story for you." Bop.
Flat hair again, but there seemed to be a sane mind behind this one. "Great, so now I'm the one in the wrong head?" Bop.
With a flash Discord lost his grip on a white pegasus. Pop! The pony plunged earthward as her wings disappeared. "Surpri-", Bop. And again...
"Waaaaait! Pinkie wishes to spread pain and misery. Would you consider me for an apprentice? Just let Pinkie have the yellow one to practice on." she cackled like a deranged lab assistant.
"Sorry, I'm not accepting applications at this time." Bop.
"Oh thank gypsy magic, I'm finally out of that time loop!" Bop.
"What is this? Where is the farm, what are you?" Bop.
"Hey, getcha' hands offa me ya freak." Bop.
"Wow, you're not a statue anymore - again!" Bo- Discord wasn't holding a pony anymore...
Moments later, the pink pony trotted back toward Discord, licking chocolate milk off her muzzle. "Sorry, I just had to try it one more time. Chocolate rain - you have so many good ideas, why do you go and spoil it by being such a Meanie-face Mc-jerkpants?"
Discord paused, "Wait, are you -" perhaps all of this would lead up to something worthwhile...
"Close enough, I think." Rearing onto her back hooves, the pink pony pulled a slightly chewed rubber chicken from... somewhere and began spinning it between her forehooves. "Now let's settle this, Pinkie Pi-" the pony clutched her head, another round of transformation occurring, more erratic and violent than any of the previous. "I-I don't want to go. I don't want to go!" The pony's outline glowed with such an intense pink that it was blinding for a moment.
The serpentine creature stared in disbelief at the restored Dianne. "You... you really are the worst Pie, ever. That was going to be an epic battle - and you couldn't wait another five minutes."
Her color began to fade immediately, and yet she smiled in a manner serene. "Now I know. I truly am my own pony. I beat her, do you hear me? I was stronger, my mind is my own." She gestured at her neck as the final stages of the color fade progressed, "This is nothing. No hue or shade shall hold power over me again. Soon enough I will be coming for you..."
The grayed pink pony found she wasn't talking to anypony. It didn't matter, some stupid whiner would be along soon enough - looking for a kick in the flank they didn't know they needed. A thin smile creased her mouth as the sound of hooves on wooden flooring reached her.
Presently two ponies arrived. "Dianne! What a relief to find another level head. Come, let's find the others-" Rarity turned to head off in a new direction, when she felt herself kicked from behind. "Ouch! What are you doing?"
"The third law of motion dictates that when an object acts upon another object, both are subject to the same force."
"Hear that? Twilight says Your stupid flank is attacking my hooves. Stop it."
"Not you too. Augh, I do not have time for this!"
"Somepony's cranky, what's the matter - forget your afternoon nap?"
"Current research suggests the term 'siesta' is not, and never has been, part of the Prench language."
"Diane, I promise I will figure out what is wrong with you and Twilight, and together we will fix it. But if there is any chance I can stop Discord from altering our other friends, I must hurry!"
"Oh by all means, why don't you just run off and fail again? Your plan is working out sooo well so far!"
'I can't listen to her, not while there is still a chance.' "I'm leaving now, will you come along peacefully?"
"Whatever, if it gets me out of this stupid place."
"The three hundred and thirty second digit of one over three is three."
"Fascinating. Come on girls, pull yourselves together."
"Mane, do you have the wrong ponies... "
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This is a bit too random...
I feel like I need a Cast of Characters list just to keep "Diane's" Multiple Personality Disorder straight...!! Nice shot, having her last so long against Discording. 
Oh go my sides... Discord the psychiatric
I loved when the FiM mentally advanced series pinkie showed up.
1860931 I couldn't resist
Wow... so let me get this straight:
Discorded Twilight: walking computer without emotions.
Discorded Dianne: mean girl/bully
Makes sense.
Wow, Diane is messed up. Hooray for Discordian therapy.
POV Pinkie Pie... cute.
So lets see who we have here:
Bubble Berry from On a Cross and Arrow
Pinkie Pie from Cupcakes?
??
Pinkie Pie from some random clopfic
Pinkamina from Seeing the Pattern
Surprise
Pinkie from The Mentally Advanced Series
Pinkie from Friendship is Withcraft
Pinkamina from A World Without Rainbows
??
Cannon Pinkie Pie
Awww.. I was expecting Smothering Kindness.... not Bully to be Kind... ah well.. Nice touch on the story!
So does this mean that after Discord is defeated, Dianne will have been cured of her multiple-personality disorder? I'm not sure whether I should be
for her, or disappointed that she's no longer 
.
That was quite a fun read, I love that your Pinkie has MPD (or whatever its new name is) instead of Schizophrenia, but then again since canon Pinkie is one of her personalities (or would that be a ponsalities) I guess she would have it as well.
Wow, how many psychoses does Pinkie have... you know what, I don't want to know.
Heh, I love how they're all able to beat discord's mind games (so far). It's because in the show they only have a flimsy attachment to their elements, but here they're strong.
1861756 Ok, I am impressed - I was afraid no one would get the 'Pattern' reference. I salute your character recognition skills.
1861374 How could I not?
1861263 Yeah... put me down for an appointment a week from NEVER.
1861776 glad you are enjoying it.
1862330 1862487 Di has at least four different worldviews she has to compromise, more 4th wall breaking archetypes than I can count, and several sudden changes in her own self-identity. She's got a lot of stress to deal with.
1863202 the Variants have had to deal with a few more disappointments in their lives. While that doesn't necessarily make one stronger, it does tend to provide a little more perspective.
1863336
Of course. : )
You did your homework. Seeing them get "discorded" again hurts... not an easy thing to write.
...
The rest of you guys and gals read Alex Warlorn. The story is epic.
1863395 Quite
... what's he on now, Chapter 98?
1863336
Glad I was right. Patterns needs more love.
Was I right about A World Without Rainbows as well?
1865094 Agreed.
I was thinking of Pony.mov - but the great thing about writing is that the reality of the story exists between the writer and any given reader,
so if you saw 'A World Without Rainbows' then that is your reality and is as valid as my intention (c'est ne pas une pony).
1866122 And Gunnerkrigg too! You have excellent taste. Have a boxbot: imgur.com/xpvGo
Wow, that was a fun chapter to read.... and two chapters in the space of a week notMurphy, i love the Hearths warming Present
two down four left. Thing's are not looking good. When and where does the Doctor come into all this?
1869550 Well she thinks it was the real one, at least.
1869584 Who?
1863415
If you're just going by chapter count, Griffin the Griffin hit 100 then started a sequel. Myou've Gotta be Kidding Me is at 115 chapters and it's unfinished. There are probably stories with more chapters, but there's no means to search by chapter count.
If you're going by actual length of the story, shortskirtsandexplosions has 2 of the 20 longest stories on the site. The current longest is Diaries of a Madman.
Damn... Diane is crazier then I thought
Diane has The Stare! I do love the idea of it being their Ultimate Technique; it makes me think of it as some cheesy shounen anime -- sound effects courtesy of Discord -- and that makes me grin.
So once again, Discord loses against Kindness and is forced to cheat.
...And Diane gets possessed by 63!Pinkie after she's been discorded. I should have seen this coming.
...And then another version. Heh.
...And then EVERY OTHER VERSION. Endless lulz for everyone!
I really love how after all of them were gone, discorded!Diane just had this serene smile. It's a great image.
Well, Diane is just so weird...
The pinkie references were just...hilarious. I can't believe I forgot all about this scene.
So Diane is a Russian nesting doll?
Neat!
legomenon.com/images/russian-matryoshka-stacking-babushka-wooden-dolls-meaning.jpg