A Variant Season,
You Knew it was Coming
Jackie's head swung back and forth between the two of them in consternation. Confusion, motion sickness, and hope rounded out the emotions assailing her poor abused brain. A green flash was accompanied by a whistling pop, followed by crunching noises.
Rarity clucked her tongue as she wiped apple off the little dragon's mouth. Turning, she looked at her friend, "It looks like you have gotten yourself into a situation as well - care to tell me about it before Heath-" the dragon in question grumbled, "err, before Spike takes you on to the next one?" her tone betrayed more stress than her words let on.
Shaking her head back and forth, to clear it, Jackie thought she heard a cowbell somewhere. She decided that had been a mistake, the alcohol didn't seem to appreciate being sloshed around. "Well, it seems Vinyl here..." she waved vaguely in the direction of a gray earth pony, who rolled her eyes, "is upset 'cause she thought Octavia" Jackie started to gesture at the white unicorn, squinted and gestured back at the gray pony again, "was having the same kind'a financial troubles." She found her hat - had she really been sitting on it?
The orange earth pony continued, "That's why she agreed to rent a room with her, Vinyl and Octavia. I kin under-derstand not wanting to feel like 'a charity case, even from your friends..." Jackie smiled in embarrassment, "remember... remember when I didn't want to tell you gals about that bounty hunter? Ha... good times, which is to say terrible horrible things we survived, and any landing that quacks like a..." the story had gotten away from her again.
Rarity's smile slipped for a moment, "dear, we are on a bit of a tight schedule here. Why don't you just tell me what happened to get the two of them upset at each other... again?" She smiled a little more widely when all three of them shifted uncomfortably.
"After I helped Vinyl finish her shift as a bartender," Jackie gestured to the bar below the stage. "We came to see when Octy would be done wi' her set. An, an I mentioned the letter I got from my Uncle."
"Mr. Grove, if I recall?" Rarity smiled, trying to be helpful - and most certainly trying not to throttle her drunken friend.
"Yeah, see, he mentioned that Vinyl cashed out her music rights a while ago. And I happened to mention tonight that Octavia hadn't. Didn't, I didn't realize that she had not only Not told Vinyl that, but had let on that she was hard for cash too. you see, Vinyl was tryin' to develop a revolution in speaker technology, but th' gov'nment says it's too dangerous to use. Something about sympathetic harp-ponies or some such..."
Jackie made as if to continue her explanation, but Rarity caught her attention and shook her head. "Thank you, that will be enough to be going on with. You should go check up on Dianne, with all the stress she's been under lately." Rarity smiled encouragingly and put Spike on Jackie's back.
"I still don't understand how you think we're all going to switch places quickly enough to... hey, I recognize those." Jackie looked in fascination at the apple that Spike bit down on, before they disappeared in a flash of purple flames.
Rarity sighed in relief before turning to look at the two remaining ponies. 'A straight-forward problem? This will be almost relaxing.' she smiled to herself, "So, tell me ladies: are you familiar with 'The gift of the Magi'?"
Dianne sobbed, the kerchief the mule handed her used to loud effect as she cleared her sinuses. "And... it feels as though I am in at least two different parts - I have no idea what is truly myself and what isn't. I'm afraid to embrace what feels alien, but at the same time I feel a despair that drove me from my family home as a child if I do not try. Can you understand what it feels like to be two different things?"
The mule looked at her, and - not unkindly - deadpanned, "Miss, do you even know where Mules come from?"
As the pink pony gasped at her thoughtlessness a soft pop and flash of magic heralded the arrival of a baby dragon and orange pony.
The mule took it all in with an even expression, "looks like our conversation is about over. Francis bless you child, things are not as dire as you feel. Just remember, as a healer you need to keep your humor - or else you'll lose your patients."
Jackie was sober enough to catch the joke, and judging by Spike's groan he got it as well. She tossed the dragon over to the pink pony and smiled, "I think you're done here darlin', say hi to Dashie fer me, willya?"
"Lose your... wait did you mean my temper or..." she disappeared in a flash as the giggles started.
Jackie turned to the mule, "You alright, mister?"
The mule shrugged, "I'm fine miss."
"Can I offer you a cider?"
"Sounds nice, thank you."
"Where'r mah manners?" Jackie handed the mule a bottle as she ducked her head, "Mah name's Jackie, and you are?"
The mule accepted the bottle with a nod and a smile, "my name is Morgan. It is a pleasure to meet you."
"... the people. I rejected those answers; instead, I chose something different. I chose-"
"You CHOSE a load of horseapples! All your piety about everything is a front for saying you want to take everything that's not nailed down! I don't care if you DO call me a socialist - hay, maybe we Need somepony like Hoof Marx, if only to shut jerks like you up!" Rainbow Dash had not been this angry in a long, long time. Urgh! how can he sit there and try to justify- The disturbing part was that the laughter started a moment before the flash of magic heralded the arrival of earth pony and passenger.
"Ahahahahaha... huh, huff... Rainbow, Jackie says hehehehe... hello. What's, what is going wrong here ehe heh hee..."
The bizarre sight of a giggling pink pony 'porting was enough to shock Rainbow Dash out of her rage. "Uh, got stuck talking to big business ponies, mentioned workers rights and 'general good' and this guy," she stabbed a hoof at the golden pony she had been berating a moment ago, "Mister Ayn Ryan, goes an' calls me a Communist. We've been arguing since then." Dash caught her breath and looked down, "I guess it's pretty stupid, really."
"My mother always explained stupidity as a course of action, not a personal description. Heh... I will take care of this." Dianne was now mostly in control of her humor, although a wide grin remained on her face. A thunderclap echoed from the skies above. Earth pony and pegasus looked up with concern. "I believe Fluttershy may require your help." As she gently hoofed Spike over, she caught Rainbow's eye again, "give them Tartarus." She smiled.
Spike looked skyward, "Uh, girls, are you sure this is a good idea? I can't"
Rainbow turned her head, nose to nose with the nervous dragon, she spoke in a level and quiet voice, "Spike, you will not fall. None of us would ever let you get hurt." Spike swallowed the knot in his throat and nodded.
"Is this all you are? You can't live just for other ponies! If you try to carry every load for them, what will they do when you're gone?" Spitfire sighed, there was no honor in this fight - working as a weathermare in Ponyville had certainly made Fluttershy a strong flyer, but she had no instincts for offensive flying against another pony. "This can all end. You have to accept two things. First, the Cloudboom will be weaponized, now that more than two ponies know how to perform one it is bound to happen eventually. The second, admit that you're not a leader of ponies. Give up on trying to be a white knight, there's are reason we don't have those anymore!"
"I never asked to be a leader, I don't want any credit. But I will not allow anypony to be hurt when I can stop it - none of them will fall!" She was tired, her wings hurt and she could barely hear. There was no giving up, there was no going home 'If I fail here, there won't be any home to go back to - I wouldn't be worthy of anypony.' Judging by the glimpses she was catching, Spitfire was going to try another round. She wasn't able to achieve a full Cloudboom on her own, but by combining the setup with her trademark flaming contrail she was causing enough damage already.
The air pressure next to her went strange a moment before Rainbow Dash and her terrified passenger materialized from nowhere. Rainbow took in her old friend's appearance, and all the anger she had thrown away came surging back. "Who?"
Fluttershy shook her head, "you need more than that, beating her physically is not the point. We have to convince Spitfire not to report the Cloudboom Maneuver to the Armed Forces before the Princesses." It broke Fluttershy's heart to watch the emotions cascading through her friend, she knew it was over when Dash's expression returned to anger. "Remember, underneath she's a good pony too..."
Dash nodded, handing Spike over, careful to reassure him that neither pegasus would drop him. The two vanished in purple flames.
The blue pegasus called out, "Yo, Spitfire? We got a problem here. There'll be plenty of time for rational discussion, but you picked a reaallly bad time to hurt one of my friends. Should we discuss that first?"
Twilight had her hooves over her head and was drawing in her breath to scream when she felt the teleport finish next to her. She leapt up, hugging Fluttershy while telekinetically grabbing spike, "Family, CRAZY, I think Cadence is drunk, Shining needs a kick in the flank, parents... well, I'll deal with that part later, reallygottagobye!"
Fluttershy stumbled as the teleportation took effect too quickly to equalize air pressure. She turned around to look at the three confused unicorns and sniffling alicorn. Sighing, she walked over and picked shining armor up by his uniform collar and looked over at the princess, one eyebrow raised. "Really?" the pink princess nodded hesitantly.
Fluttershy propped the guard on his feet, turned him around, and forced him not to lower his head. When she was sure neither one was going to fall over she stepped back and facehoofed. "Why don't you two just bang already? You fought, it happens. You get a second chance you be grateful, you hear me?" Having done as much damage as she could for the couple, Fluttershy turned to look at Twilight's parents with a smile... "I hear you two are concerned about your daughter's future..."
Twilight Sparkle and dragon appeared in a bathroom. Next to her was stressed looking white unicorn with a purple mane and a cutie mark of six blue diamonds. The purple unicorn raised an eyebrow, and the white one rolled her eyes, "What took you so long? He's been waiting out there for ten minutes."
"So what's the problem?"
"He's in love with her."
"He's what!?"
"Well, the start of it at least. He's convinced it's genuine. Please, can we skip the part where you ask me how I'm sure and we go through that awkward pause?"
"Uh, ok... oh, Oh... right. Look, none of us think of you like-"
"I get it. Let's sort out this mess first so I can slip into something more comfortable, I think I'm picking up some residual nag-ness."
"You are talking about one of my best friends!"
"I know."
"I'll...come back to that later. So I think we can still use plan three, just follow my lead."
"Whatever you say. Are you aware that the trees-"
"Later!"
Twilight pulled in a deep breath, more to focus her mind than for the oxygen. 'I can do this, it is the truth, even if we're presenting it in an odd manner, I won't tell any lies, I don't have any problem with this.' If that were true you wouldn't need to tell yourself to- 'Shut up.' Before she could talk herself out of it, Twilight used a blast of magical energy to throw the door open dramatically and stormed out. "Prince Blueblood? We have a few issues that need discussion."
"...so now that we've seen both sides of the issue, can the two of you simply calm down - at least for a short while?"
The other white unicorn and gray earth pony nodded, too tired to argue anymore. The other three members of the quartet watched quietly, knowing if they so much as snickered Octavia would never forgive them.
"Well, that is truly wonderful. Perhaps, after the two of you have had a little while to recuperate, you could perform one last song together to celebrate? I might have a suggestion." Rarity did her best insincerely innocent smile. The two mares looked at each other and shrugged.
"So then she said to her husband, 'honey, this one's eating the popcorn'!" Jackie collapsed in giggled, sitting back up so she could drink some more water, trying to clear her head as much as possible before trekking back inside. She looked back at the elderly mule gardener. "Are you sure there's nothing I can do for you, Mister Freemule? You've been awful generous with your time, letting me go on like this."
The gardener smiled and shook his head, "no child, you and your friend did enough giving me some company this evening. You know, other than Celestia, almost nopony ever comes out here to enjoy the garden itself."
Jackie considered that for a moment. "You know, that's a darn shame. I gotta go, but thank you for your time."
He just smiled, "anytime Miss Jackie, anytime."
Rand furrowed his brow, he knew he shouldn't even respond, that continuing this conversation was giving this... this upstart country hick more credence than she deserved. But the outrage was too great, "I'm sorry, did I hear you correctly? What in Equestria gives you the right to claim I am not a self-made stallion?"
"Simple, you did not give birth to yourself - I suspect. You are welcome to correct me on this point if I am mistaken." There was a murmur of chuckling from the surrounding ponies. "But, that is perhaps too vulgar for your tastes. You did not build the house you were raised in. You did not grow the food you were fed. You did not make the dishes and furniture and utilities that you either used or were used on your behalf. You did not build the school you attended, nor did you pay the ponies who educated you. You did not invent the arts and sciences you were taught, you did not create the ink you used and I doubt you gathered the quills used for your pens. You did not perform the medical checkups you recieved as a foal, and certainly did not develop the science of medicine used. You did not invent the language that facilitated all of these exchanges I have listed you -"
"Enough! Certainly I did not, but neither did the vast majority of ponies alive today. Why do you think I owe more than they do?"
"Why do you think you owe less?"
"What are you talking about? I pay my taxes-"
"begrudgingly"
"Nevertheless, I have certainly put an amount of money back into society that covers however much in resources went into my childhood-"
Dianne's eyes widened, "Oh, I see, and you have never again benefited from the existence of society since then? You live entirely on your own, make all your own clothes, never travel a public roadway, make no use of the town guard for your safety, nor any other public service?"
"I PAY FOR ALL OF THAT!" Ryan roared, furious. "I PAY AND PAY AND PAY!"
"My goodness, that does seem to be a great deal of money you are spending on the public good. How do you ever have time for anything other than working?"
"I own the business, the business the I started, the business that is funded by my own money, the business that employs hundreds of ponies in Canterlot alone, not to mention my subsidiaries all over Eqeustria!" he huffed.
"The business that uses public utilities, that employs citizens of the nation - many of them educated in the schools you begrudge the expense of, that enjoys advantages from the existence of society and could not exist without society. Is that the business you speak of?" She decided not to bat her eyelashes.
"You are twisting my words, you are saying that whatever I do it will never be enough!"
"I am saddened that you see it that way. What I am saying is that there is no repaying your debt to society, because all of us - at all times, owe each other the debt of our own existence. We cannot exist alone, and are dependent upon each other from the moment of our birth to the very last, and to those we leave behind for our legacy. You are owed as much as you owe, but there is no escape from it. A fish might as well reject water as being too restrictive."
The stallion shook with fury, seeking some response that would regain the standing he was sure he had just lost in the eyes of the ponies watching. And she turned away from him - from him, one of the most powerful of the Canterlot Elite!
Dianne turned back one last time, "do have a nice day, Mr. Ryan. Oh, and you are welcome."
The words escaped from him before he could clamp his jaw shut, "For What?"
"For the sunrise due in an hour. Your money, your power, your family, none of them would have availed you against Nightmare Moon. Please, don't consider it another debt... my friends and I were only too happy to ensure continued days and nights for every pony, every living being in the world... simply out of kindness."
"What the buck is wrong with you!?" Spitfire didn't know whether to scream in rage or horror, laugh or cry.
Rainbow Dash coughed - and immediately regretted it, it was no fun at all with bruised ribs. She hoped her ribs were only bruised. "Hey. You know what they taught us the first day in flight school?" Spitfire rolled her eyes at the blue pegasus, "taught us, the reason why we fall-"
"A little thing called gravity, by any chance?"
"We fall, so we can pick ourselves back up. I forgot that, for a long time. Ugh, still hurts."
"What in the mane of Celestia were you thinking?"
"That I couldn't really take on a Wonderbolt."
"Of course not, we may be trick fliers, but we are part of the Airforce. You'd never have stood a chance, even if you were in any kind of good condition."
Dash shook her head, slowly, "No, wrong couldn't. You ponies were my idols when I was a filly. Today you're still a shining example of what determination can do for so many ponies. I couldn't embarrass you like that."
Spitfire scowled, "there is no way you'd have outflown me."
"Wouldn't have to. Look in my saddlebag, left side, outer pocket- yeah there."
The Wonderbolt captain examined the small black metal object, like a 'T' with an arrowhead at the bottom. "What is this?"
"Grappling hook, 1,000 pound cable strength. I could have had you trussed up like a turkey. Almost wanted to when I saw what you did to Flutters, but we don't do that."
"So instead you make sure I can see you and go into a deadfall? That's insane."
"Maybe, but it was a calculated risk. If you were a good pony, you wouldn't let me hit the ground. If you weren't, I wasn't sure I wanted to live in this world anyway."
Spitfire's expression became as cold as ice, tears flowing regardless. "How dare you?"
Rainbow looked at her, confused.
The orange pegasus loomed over her, "HOW DARE YOU! What gives you the right to give up!? I fought Fluttershy because she is running herself into the ground! It's not 'strong' to do everything for those who are dependent on you, it is not liberation to make sure that ponies remain dependent on you for everything. We don't need living legends, we need ponies who will trust those around them to grow and improve!"
Grunting, Rainbow Dash forced herself into a sitting position. "Ugh, two things... maybe three. First off, if you really believe that's what she does, you don't know a thing about Fluttershy. If she pushes herself hard, it's because she knows the ponies working under her are inspired to do their best in return. If she pulls the extra slack, it's because she knows those she supports will come back as soon as they've recovered. She demands as much as she sees in anypony. She's already sent three members of the Ponyville Weather Team on to supervisory positions in other cities because she won't leave Ponyville for any other promotion. If she is strong, it's because she knows that all of us are behind her, that she doesn't have to hold back."
She flexed her wings and popped her neck before continuing, "Second, it takes two to fight. Flutters wasn't the one you were fighting, she was the stand in. You were fighting yourself. So yeah, the third thing? I know who won now. You do whatever you think is necessary with the Cloudboom - you're a good pony who's been put in a bad spot, I know you'll make the right call. One thing though?"
Spitfire was jarred by actually be addressed again, "what?"
"Can you give me a lift? Got a song I need to be part of, can't be late."
Fluttershy had herded the Sparkles away from the balcony as quickly as she ascertained that her first gambit had worked - possibly too well.
The discussion with Twilight's parents had been involved but interesting, and she had to take into account all of her advice for herself as well. All in all it had been an interesting discussion with many insights - she could only hope that the Sparkles paid any mind to it in the future.
As she turned to leave, Mrs. Sparkle 'Uh, Velvet, right?' called out, "Why, why couldn't she talk to us about this herself?"
Fluttershy cringed inwardly. This had been the hardest part, but the reason she had agreed to the insane plan in the first place - even if she trusted Rarity implicitly there was just something wrong about treating their personal problems like a mary-go-round. She made herself turn around and face the two of them. "Because she was terrified of disappointing you. She always has been. She is trying to change, but she needs you to support her, by showing her that she won't disappoint you simply by pursuing her own happiness. The stress, the panic attacks, the craziness, it all stems from her terror of disappointing the two of you."
"All we ever wanted was for her to be happy and secure."
"Then you have nothing to be concerned over. She will seek you out, in her own time." There was nothing else to be said - nothing else she could or would or had the right to say - so she left quickly.
"...and the things that I have discovered after that, I really feel as though I have become a different stallion. And that is why..." he kept talking, of course. Prince Blueblood had started a flood of words after Twilight and... Rarity had left the restroom, protestations of his devotion, examples of how he had become a 'new pony', and other such talk.
'He's not going to stop talking, is he?' It's not Rarity, it's his idea of her that he's in love with Twilight casually leaned over and slid a window open. A vine of morning glory crept up the wall, slid in through the opening, and slid to the floor, spreading off in several directions. The white unicorn stood by, head slightly down, avoiding eye contact.
As the unicorn prince drew in his breath to continue, a vine leapt from the floor and wrapped around his mouth - startling him badly. He cantered left and back in his panic, before using his magic to pull the non-resisting vines off his face. He looked around in a panic, but didn't see any plant-monsters around. The sound of a throat being cleared snapped his attention back.
Rarity's purple friend noted he had made eye contact and began talking, "Prince Blueblood Heart, I am Twilight Sparkle, and good friend of Rarity's. She has been... overwhelmed by your advances, and asked me to speak on her behalf - she didn't trust herself to speak her true feelings in this circumstance."
Blueblood readied a response to discard this ridiculous ploy, but the mare was talking before he could start, "I am a simple orchard mare, but in my spare time I act as the Bearer of the Element of Honesty - so mark my words and know that what I tell you is the honest truth: Rarity Bell is not interested in a romantic relationship with you. This has nothing to do with your worth either as nobility or as a pony, she is not interested in romance at this time. You should be able to respect her decision - it would be the 'noble' thing to do."
All that fancy verbiage to say 'no'. He felt stuck in the chest, affronted, sad, surprised, annoyed, numb, burning, cold, empty, overfilled, and ... relieved? He had much to consider, perhaps a slower approach was more advisable... he could consider such an idea while overseeing an expedition perhaps.
Twilight watched the prince walk away, lost in thought and barely perceiving his surroundings. She turned to look at the olive pegasus filly standing next to her and quirked an eyebrow, "Do you think it was something I said?" The filly chuckled and shrugged. The unicorn relaxed slightly, "So, do you want to come with us for the finale?"
The filly looked at her for a moment before shaking her head, "not exactly something a random face in the crowd would do, now is that?" The unicorn shrugged, smiled at her, and trotted off.
Rarity looked down at her orange friend, feeling a mixture of amusement, confusion, and impatience. "Jaquelin, hurry up, we are about to start." The earth pony had insisted on demonstrating a new dance step to some of the more drunken revelers, something she had learned from sailor ponies who had been far overseas recently.
Twilight looked through the sea of ponies who were glancing at the stage, wondering what had happened to the next waltz. For the life of her she couldn't see her brother out there anywhere. She glanced at Fluttershy, "where did my brother get to after you talked to him?"
The yellow pegasus turned bright red from ear to ear, "I-I wouldn't worry about it too much, he's probably going to be ... preoccupied for a while."
As if in sympathy, the purple pony's face became as pale as her friend's was now flushed. 'She can't possibly mean...' ABORT! ABORT! 20cc of Brain Bleach, stat!
Unfortunately Rainbow Dash had been listening, and she broke into guffaws, slumping into Twilight as tears rolled down her cheeks. "Ha... go Shiny! Right up there? I didn't think he had the... well, you know." Twilight shifted ever so slightly, letting her 'friend' fall to the floor.
The white unicorn limited herself to a few quiet chuckles, walking over to see how their pink pony participant was. "Are you ready Dear? If you're still feeling upset you can sit this one out." Rarity stopped, Dianne was smiling - not her smile of satisfaction at helping somepony, or her smile of 'this is a social obligation that I am fulfilling' smile - Rarity hated that one - but something more genuine, a thing rarely seen.
"I believe I am in fact looking forward to singing." She tilted her head to the side, considering the matter, "Yes, I like singing."
"Well whatt'yall just standin' around fer? If we're going to do this, it'd best be done now I say."
Rarity fought down the scowl she knew would just tell Jackie her teasing was working. Instead she brought up her own 'social obligation' smile. "Quite."
Vinyl Scratch had kept the tuxedo jacket and simply added her usual shades to the ensemble after artfully spiking her hair back up. She grabbed the microphone in a death grip and addressed the assembled ponies of the Gala, "GOOD EVENING CANTERLOT! We interrupt your regularly scheduled Gala for an exclusive performance, one night only, by the Elements of Harmony - here to talk to you about a subject near and dear to all our hearts: PONIES! Take it away girls!"
It had been surprisingly easy to convince the quartet to play something a little more modern. The pianist began pounding at the keys, and the others followed, creating a thrumming beat.. Bam bombom bam, bam bombom bam...
*(original lyrics by Tommy James And The Shondells)*
Here she comes now sayin' Pony Pony
Shake 'em down, turn around, come on Pony
Here to have some fun and feel all right now
Make Canterlot toss and turn
And I feel all right, yeah I feel all right
I said yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah) yeah...
'Cause you make me feel
So good, so good, so good
So fine, so fine
Have a real good time, well I feel all right
I said yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah), yeah...
Well we can shake it shake it Pony Pony
Stop, drop, jump up and come on home yeah
Won't stop dancin' 'cause I feel all right now
Don't stop now come on Pony
Come on yeah, I said yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah), yeah...
'Cause you make me feel
(Like a pony)
So good, so good
(Like a pony)
Well I feel all right
(Like a pony)
Having fun, feel so fine
(Like a pony)
Yeah, and I feel all right
(Like a pony)
I said yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah), yeah...
I love you Pony po-po-pony
I love you Pony po-po-pony, we all do
I love you Pony po-po-pony, we all do
I love you Pony po-po-pony, we all do
I love you Pony po-po-pony, we all do
I love you Pony po-po-pony, we all do
I love you Pony po-po-pony, we all do
I love you Pony po-po-pony
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Come on, come on
Come on, come on
Come on, come on
Come on, come on
Come on, come on
Feel all right, I said yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah
Wake it, shake it Pony Pony
Up, down, turn around, come on pony
Hey we're having fun and I feel all right now
Don't stop now come on Pony
Come on, I said yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
'Cause you make me feel
(Like a pony)
So good, so good
(Like a pony)
Well I feel all right
(Like a pony)
Having fun, feel so fine
(Like a pony)
Yeah, and I feel all right
(Like a pony)
I said yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah), yeah...
Ride your pony, ride your pony
Ride your pony come on, come on
Pony Pony
Feel all right, I said yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Gasping and laughing, six ponies staggered into Canterlot's premier doughnut shop. The proprietor, 'Joe' looked up at the bedragled and giggling mares, hair wild and dresses in tatters. He was about to say something when he saw Spike holding onto the white unicorn and laughing along with the rest. So he said something else, "Can I get you anything?"
The white one recovered first, grinning at him she said, "Six coffees I think, one milk. Oh, and bring the tray over - no the whole tray, I'll cover the cost for whatever we take but we'll want to take our time. Thank you."
As a group the ponies staggered their way over to the other occupant of the late-night eatery, a dark blue unicorn mare who had watched the previous exchange with amusement, and a yawn. "You look as though you have either escaped the jaws of death or had more fun that 'tis probably legal in this day an' age." said 'Midnight'.
Hugs were exchanged and, after several false starts, each pony told their tale in turn... of the best night ever.
You, Mr. notMurphy, are the undisputable KING of Pony Karaoke!! Keep on rockin'!!
1443694 will do
...
I don't think the rest of the story will give me as much trouble as the Gala did
I swear Rarity was throwing obstacles in my way on purpose What you are reading is the result of my third rewrite and sixth edit... in short noting like what I originally intended - they wouldn't even let me throw in any wanton destruction!
I was kinda confused all the way through this. I get that there were little slices of everypony helping everypony else out with each other's problems, but I never quite caught anything.
So, uh...do you reckon you could explain it?
1443879 Let me see if I can do this... *breath in*
The concept is that each of the ponies gets into some sort of trouble at the Gala, but Rarity has arranged before-hoof to have Spike use a bag of the teleporting apples Twilight developed (See A Variant Season, Between Friends) to swap members of the mane six out of their predicaments and into the next pony in line's problem.
Rarity is of course here at the bequest of Prince Blueblood (see A Variant Season, Four Letters) who claims to be sincere in his romantic pursuit - not normally a problem, she could easily leave him a quivering pile of shattered ego - but she's trying not to do that anymore. She locks herself in the bathroom to escape Prince Blueblood for a moment, and is replaced by Twilight, who need somepony to tell off that isn't a close childhood friend or direct family member. She proceeds to tell Blueblood to buzz off while 'Rarity'(?) stands by quietly.
Jackie learns that Octavia will be performing for the Gala, then runs into Vinyl working as a bartender to make ends meet, and ends up drinking a little too much. Rarity is sent to stand in for Jackie - who has inadvertently started an argument between Vinyl and Octy about money. Rarity talks them into submission using old and tired parables about pride and the consequences of refusing help and other boring stuff like that.
Dianne is suffering from the stress of having voices in her head that give her conflicting advice she's not sure she can just ignore. She flees to the garden, encounters the gardener mule who works there, and ends up having a very helpful conversation with him. Jackie gets taken to the garden where Dianne is finishing her conversation with the old mule - she actually hasn't managed to cause any chaos, she was too busy dealing with the contents of her own head, so Jackie gets a breather and a chance to sober up a little.
Rainbow Dash has ended up stuck talking to a bunch of big business ponies, and happens to make a comment or two about generosity... and promptly ends up in a shouting match with a venture capitalist. Dianne ends up standing in for Dash, and leaves the other pony without any further arguments.
Fluttershy tried to talk to Spitfire about her results with the 'Cloudboom' (see A Variant Season, On Display) but ends up being challenged to an aerial duel after finding out that the airforce wants to figure out how to weaponize the maneuver. Dash arrives to see Fluttershy winning the moral victory but getting the tar beaten out of her. After sending Fluttershy on her way, Rainbow decides to call Spitfire's bluff and performs a dead-drop, nearly getting killed in the process. She finds out Spitfire isn't very happy about being put on the spot, but decides to trust the Wonderbolt Captain's judgement.
Twilight Sparkle has found herself besieged by her worried parents who want to know why she doesn't write home and when she's going to give up this silly farm nonsense and go to college, her mopy brother who's still feeling sorry for himself after being a big enough dip to get Cadence to dump him, and a drunk Cadence who's looking for sympathy. On the verge of a bad panic attack, Fluttershy arrives and Twilight makes her escape (see the top). Fluttershy uses a machete to cut through red tape ...no she doesn't, but I've always wanted an excuse to use that line. What she does is ... well, I don't really know that she resolves anything, but she gets rid of most of the tension between Twilight's loved ones.
All of this happens in two or three dizzying rounds of exchanges (it was supposed to be confusing, but if it was too confusing then I have failed).
The last thing Rarity had planned was for the girls to convince whoever the performing band was to let the Mane Six perform a song together - hopefully causing enough of a ruckus to be kicked out and charged with a noise violation. After escaping the guards they arrive at Pony Joe's Doughnut Shop and exchange stories about what happened to them at the Gala.
1443988 Filly Twilight is the cutest darned pony they ever thought up.
1443985
THANK YOU.
Maybe you could post that in an extra optional chapter as a less narrative, more explanatory version.
Yes, it is true small doses of your work is best. Another excellent chapter.
1443985 I'm glad for the explanation because I was completely lost the whole time.
Also the worst part of arguing against Ayn Rand mentality is that in their place we would agree with them. No one wants to have what is theirs taken from them, especially for the benefit of people who you see as simply not being as hard working/ smart/ etc. as you are. Problem is as a society we all have to be part of the same machine for it to function. It's like an engine with every part needing to work together yet wanting to do it's own thing.
tldr: Humanity kind of sucks
Ah-ha! YES! A perfect wrap-up to "A Variant Season" (and for what it's worth, I wasn't confused, so if you did fail, it isn't that bad).
One question, though, about this:
Is this what you meant when you said, "I'll know it when I see it"?
1444826 There's also a culture of assumption among staunch capitalists - and Rand followers - that if you're poor you're lazy. And a lot of the time that just isn't true.
1444826
The debate is really one of perspective. Personal motivation, desire, self preservation, all of these things are necessary to even get out of bed in the morning. They are ONE ASPECT of being human, just like drinking water is. Can you imagine how strange you would find someone who decided that drinking water was the most important thing to do as a human? To feel that humans should pursue remaining hydrated to the virtual exclusion of other pursuits? Not being wrong isn't the same thing as being right.
sure, humans do things that suck. Part of the disappointment is watching and thinking 'you could be better than this'. That voice? That is why I believe in humanity, any human can change at any time - and enough do so that life continues. It may be the only game in town, but at the end of the day I think it's still worth playing.
1445057 we fail one another to the degree we can't understand each other - not even trying just makes one a jerk.
1445005 well it isn't what I originally planned, but yes that's an Innocent Bystander.
1446401
Isn't that kind of the point, as what I had said "convinced" you to do more with what was originally a throw-away character? Anyway, I was referring to this comment 1264943 about me "conspiring with your brain" and knowing what I inspired you to do when it comes.
1446555 ohh
Well this is only the beginning of that, I'm afraid.
1446579
Ah... well then, at least I didn't miss it! (Yet!)
And while you say, "only the beginning, I'm afraid," I say, "only the beginning? "
1449272
Heh. Sure thing. I suppose I'll only understand what you mean when I get to 16
Quite a bit of confusing piled on a load of awesome. Took me a few tries to get exactly what was going on, but I ended up not needing your little guide.dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Twilight_future.png
After I did get ithough
And dat song....dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Vinyl_Scratch.png
[youtube=IAmgTNATJkk]
1449484
Very true.
1449457
I definitely remember seeing a Tiffany Aching reference -somewhere-. Might not have been this fic, but I saw one.
EDIT: It was The Further Adventures of Sepia Tock.
1449670 sadly that is a trick I missed. Let me know if you remember where you did see it, I'm a fan of the Witch of Sto Plains
Edit: Thx, will have to read.
By the second lap I'd gotten a handle on what was going on...but you really dropped us into the middle of things. I didn't even realize this was happening at the Gala until the end.
1455920 Yeah, I was either going to have too much information out not enough , aaand I seem to have miscalculated
At one point I planned on having six sub-chapters where each of the six write a letter to one of the Princesses explaining why the audience hall had been destroyed... but they ended up not causing much physical collateral damage so there didn't seem to be a point.
I could go back and do out as a narrative of the recounting from the donut shop afterward, but I'm hoping there's just enough here that I don't have to do that - the Gala has already taken up three weeks of my time now...
That was very enjoyable, lost it at Fluttershy’s ‘just bang already’, loved the 'Morgan Freemule' (), would have love to be in Dianne’s position (We’re all the same damn species, we should be working together, everyone is needed for society to work, everyone has equal worth! We also need to remember that we all create our own problems, both as a society and as the individual, but responsibility (as in not blaming others, perfect example the housing market “crisis” ) can minimize those problems). I shall eagerly await for more.
PS: sorry about getting political there
1456316 ...I'm not really in a position to object
I was hoping someone would catch that cameo
...and I suppose you know where that line is from then who am I kidding, who doesn't enjoy winning?
1456374
Hmmm… So Flutters is getting 'lessons' from Cloudkicker… I don’t know whether to terribly afraid or uncontrollably giddy (read as ‘giggity’ ).
Oh Celestia why am I posting this!
1456429 I leave the matter up to personal interpretation - head canon for all
Edit: ohh would you believe that when I put that line in I wasn't even thinking about the history of CQ's universe?
1457502
Thanks for clarifying that.
And for saving the butterflies
1457434
Truthfully, I wasn’t sure where you got it from, considering I’ve heard that line from multiple sources, but yes I do believe I shall go with Cloudkicker being a winning, tiger blooded, pony warlock.
1462017 Hmm... well I can only speak for myself with any confidence but I was quoting The Life and Times of a Winning Pony by Chengar Quordath. I know the line has been floating around the inter-tubes for a while, but that story is where I first saw the specific use of that specific phrasing in a similar circumstance.
For any of my readers who haven't read that story, I highly recommend it (don't worry, it's the most tasteful story about a pony pursuing casual encounters I've ever heard of). But you might want to read the preceding story: The Incredibly Dense Mind of Rainbow Dash (or Wining Pony, Chapter Zero as I think of it).
notMurphy, that was nuts in a good way.
1467388
It truly was the best night ever.
Next up, Elements of Harmony vs Discord! Can't wait to see how this plays out.
Well, looking forward to read the next chapter. Mmmmm, I wonder what will happen to Dianne if she gets "Discorded" (insert evil laugh here)
1489376 ahem, be prepared for UNINTENDED CONSEQUENCES
1489691
1456316
Morgan Freemule is an alicorn in disguise.
1445057 Playing Devil's Advocate here, let's not throw the baby out with the bathwater. Those who think poor=lazy tend to be those who take the initial premise and falsely assert both sides of the equation are reversible. That is to say, the actual initial premise is that wealthy=not lazy/hard working. I've never met a person who generated wealth without working their ass off. However, people tend to falsely assume that this means, like you said, that if you're not rich, you're lazy, when that's not necessarily true.
Sorry to derail the comments, but as an Objectivist, it's a pet-peeve when my views get misinterpreted and then thrown back at me. On that note, while I really enjoy both the actual writing of the story and its premise, Dash's "Joseph Stallion" comment really kind of hurt it for me. Sorry, but anybody showing respect towards a hypocritical mass-murderer, even in pony form, makes me get all "punchy." Other than that, though, I really enjoy the story and how the characters have evolved. Slightly thrown by Pinkie's apparent Dissociative Identity Disorder, but I'm figuring that will be resolved and explained in a later chapter(s).
Dianne's anti-Objectivism smackdown made me want to jump into the story and cheer so loud that even the Pinkies in her head would be embarassed.
1527294
No offense but I think alot of amoral capitalists like to claim that they are objectivists when they really only have a vauge understanding of it (I do but I am more of a liber-libertarian) Likewise I did enjoy Pinkamina's points againt the Andrew Ryan expy as it does point out we all owe something to somebody and that power isn't everything.
Great chapter, nuff said
But I'll say more anyway
You brought things together beautifully, in an original and creative way
And got mighty philosophical to boot
Good job
Diane is a boss.
While I'm finding this AU to be interesting, your condensing of plot, many cutaways(some not even in chronological order). and increasing intrigue are becoming more convoluted and making it hard to grasp all the details and follow along.
standing next to her and quirked an eyebrown
That's silly, it's Twilight Sparkle, obviously she only has eyepurples.
3280894 Huh, good catch Thanks
Okay - this is awesome. Really - there are few enough stories that can distract me from what I am supposed to be doing for an entire day.
But I'm afraid you've just reached the tipping point. I can ignore the occasional spelling error, leaving in superfluous words or missing words out of sentences is forgivable, and using a shade of pink that is practically invisible on a white background only becomes a notable annoyance when done multiple times in close proximity (for which I simply dial up the blue saturation on the screen).
But what's torn it? This:
Not even in Olde English is that considered acceptable grammar. But I could (and have) glossed over this before. However, this time, you demonstrate _why_ it is unacceptable. That apostrophe is indicative of a contraction - which means you are _aware_ of the fact that 'tis' means 'it is', and yet you still chose to use it in the wrong context
Now, the first two issues can be mostly fixed up by running it through a spell/grammar check on most common word processors - there are even one or two available on the internet. And the few errors that would remain could be fixed by having someone else read it for you - I hear listening to Microsoft Sam read your stuff back to you works almost as well as an actual pre-reader.
The third issue is, admittedly a stylistic choice. If you prefer the text to be difficult to read, or if perhaps I am a rare example of a person who has issues with seeing light pink on white, then fair enough, no more needs to be said on the matter.
But " 'tis"? My good ser, if Shakespeare, a man who _actually_ wrote in 'Olde English', and who is known for simply _making words up_ as it suited him, could use 'tis' correctly, then you can also!
Now, I apologise if my tone previously was somewhat ... inflamed, however the abuse of that phrase is a foul cancer that is spreading throughout several of the tales I read, and it is starting to become rather irksome. Especially when a person apparently demonstrates that they do, in fact, know better. That said, rest assured that such ire is expressed only at works, such as yours, which are of otherwise superb quality, so much so that their few imperfections become all the more obvious.
Naturally, I admit it would be unreasonable of me to expect you to go back and edit all that you have already written, but if you could, perhaps, consider these ideas whilst writing your latest chapters, I assure you, not only would it be greatly appreciated, but it would also improve the readability of your work significantly.
3282589
I see your point about the pink; however, I had not noticed it myself, as I read in Medium Dark.
Luna's line of dialogue could do with some touching up.
That said, I have been enjoying your story. Many minor errors, but I have not compiled a list for you. I apologise.
Been slowly working my way through this. It's a nice take!
3282589
Actually, I think that
is a typo, and should read "fun than 'tis probably legal" as "had more fun that is probably legal" doesn't make sense, contracted or otherwise.
(Though I'm not sure if notMurphy is correcting errors this far back, since there are a couple of chapters than go into pink text and don't come out again, which required me to highlight the chapter to be able to read.)
3323549 This is the second time someone has mentioned that problem.
Unfortunately I've never been able to replicate the problem, so I can't tell how to fix it (and is especially disturbing since I just altered the color I'm using for pink text to make it easier to read (Pink vs Pink ... that's color=#f68, btw), so I KNOW all the tags are closed.
What browser/os are you using when you have this problem?
"... the people. I rejected those answers; instead, I chose something different. I chose-"
"You CHOSE a load of horseapples! All your piety about everything is a front for saying you want to take everything that's not nailed down! I don't care if you DO call me a socialist - hay, maybe we Need somepony like Hoof Marx, if only to shut jerks like you up!" Rainbow Dash had not been this angry in a long, long time. Urgh! how can he sit there and try to justify- The disturbing part was that the laughter started a moment before the flash of magic heralded the arrival of earth pony and passenger.
You fail economics, sociopolitics and morality forever.
Capitalists only want to KEEP WHAT IS THEIR OWN.
It's MARXISTS who want to steal from those who produce and give to those who do not.
"Simple, you did not give birth to yourself - I suspect. You are welcome to correct me on this point if I am mistaken." There was a murmur of chuckling from the surrounding ponies. "But, that is perhaps too vulgar for your tastes. You did not build the house you were raised in. You did not grow the food you were fed..."
No, but they were PAID FOR, were they not? Noone gave him any of those things out of charity, but out of their own self-interest.
Taxes
Poor argument. Taxes are payment for services rendered, and are generally coerced for services the taxed did not want and that the government cannot or should not deliver.
"you're welcome for the sunrise"
Which served YOUR self-interest as well, Pinkamarxist. But you did it out of free will, demanding no recompense--- yet you think this gives you the right to DEMAND things from Mr. Rand?
Objectivism does not oppose charity. It opposes coercion and theft being justified by the name "charity."