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Another chapter! :D
But... it's not the 26th yet! *Frowns*
Whatever... commence read!
3538759
It is in my time zone! =D
Fuzzy, sorry about this, but could you head over to Cloudsville? I've gotten stuck on a bit in the new chapter, and it seems to be preventing me from enjoying anything that follows. I've posted my problem and my commentary up to that point, and I hope that we can get this cleared up soon so that I can get back to reading.
Daaamn, murky acutally using a gun for something other than wasting ammo?
The world is ending. The radhogs are alicorns, and the cake has been found.
Anyway, if I could fav this again, I would.
Have a mustache instead.
Ah. I could post a long, brilliant comment about the intricacies of this chapter, but instead, I shall simply ask a question:
When're Unity and Murky getting engaged?
Yikes, well that was something. I don't know how, but I find the inane banter of Wildcard's goons more unnerving than the ambiance of the metro.
I should really try my hand at live blogging these chapters or something. Every dozen paragraphs I think of something that I want to say, but these chapters are so long that by the time I finish I've already forgotten everything.
This is probably my favourite chapter since "Killing the Slave" (and it's also probably above the chapters prior to that until "Sixty Minutes in Hell"), though I'm not entirely sure what I like so much about it. Meh. Keep it up!
WHY DOESNT FIMFIC TELL ME THAT IT UPDATES!!!!!!!!!!!
The beauty of this chapter
It just makes me so happy
Well, this was unexpected. I cannot believe you wrote this chapter that quickly, almost as if you are rushing on with murky to finish the story. Do you have more time on your hands at the moment or what? Not that I am complaining or anything, I will take my fix of Murky whenever I can, and this was as good a quality as those before.
Anyway, about what happened in this chapter. At the very start we got Murky talking to the 'voice' again. I personally like to imagine that the voice is Velvet Remedy or Homage, but on a more morbid thought it might be death. Who knows? You do, that's who!
Chugga Chugga Choo Choo! There is a train now! (or was, but we will get to that in a moment). I think it is pretty cool that the slavers have a working train on a not broken, if rickety track. I got a really good mental image here, with the snowy mountain, and Fillydelphia shrinking away from them. Come to think of it, was this the first time Murky saw snow? On the subject of snow, Alternate chapter name: Walking in a Nuclear Winter Wonderland.
That argument. That Argument. The characters all needed it. We, as readers, all needed it. It had to happen. But it was great wasn't it? To finally 'stick it to the man' as it were. We finally got to see Protégé get shouted at for one of the things he helped do. Granted he is a nice guy, but he can see how even the 'nice' outcomes of Red Eyes rule are quite terrible if you look into them. This was great, until the argument was derailed by
Vaaserr..... I mean Wildcard.Lets talk about Wildcard, actually. Now, lets be honest. He acts and is quite a lot like Vaas. Not that I mind however, as he is a reaaaal good character to add tension and fear into a scene. But if you did not style him from Vaas at all, I will be very surprised, but you never know.
Lets talk about what Murky did in this chapter. Also known as, OH MY GOD, HE SHOT A GUN AT ANOTHER SENTIENT LIFEFORM. Murky is going to become a 'stone cold killa' at this rate. I also saw a lot more of Murky acting like a child again, which I normally don't notice, but when Chirpy is around, you can tell how Murky acts in a similar way sometimes, if a bit more depressed. Come to think of it, how old is Murky? He is obviously quite young, but I need something more solid.
But anyway, the fics nearly over huh?
Well, can't say I did not have a good time along the way.
Have a Great week!
3546219
This chapter was already finished before I published Chapter 21, I wanted to "get ahead" a little. Unfortunately that time hasn't last very long! But the next one shouldn't be too long either. Certainly no "rushing" going on, but there is a pace increase!
Yes, the arguement was inevitable. But I think many looked forward to it for the tension it would bring. Getting to write Coral in full blown "Mama Bear" mode was an absolute joy and extremely satisfying, even if it were interrupted until later. It's worth mentioning that Wildcard actually predates Vaas. The concept of the character emerged independant, HOWEVER...just before he was introduced in Chapter 15, I saw the first appearance of Vaas in the trailers. So the character wasn't based on him, but Vaas helped remind me of why sometimes them being clear and clarified is even scarier. So you could say there's lessons learned rather than a character designed around. I believe that'd be the fair look at it! :p
Murky's age is anywhere between 14-21, whatever the reader feels is best, really. He and Unity are actually about the same age, but she is a bit more mature is all. Murky had a stunted development, so he would act a little younger. He definitely acts younger than he is.
Lastly, the story has a little bit to go yet! Chapter 23 is the finale of Act 2, but then we have the 5-7 chapters of Act 3. So we're closing on the end, but it's not quite there yet! Plenty of content to go, even as it nears the growth climax!
Thanks for the extended thoughts, much appreciated!
UGH. Why did it have to take me so long to read this? Now I don't remember what I was going to comment about. I'm sorry.
Also, very sorry if I seem like a nuisance, but I noticed some errors and wrote them down. I did that because if I had a story like this I would have wanted this kind of stuff pointed out to me, so I'm going to assume the same is with you.
Two ponies lyng gutted Missed the "i".
There notion The?
More So for Protégé Capital.
Dodging around a her I guess the "a" isn't meant to be there.
rifle in hand Hoof?
A round spanked off the cover I can't tell if this is an error. Sparked? Google keeps telling me spanked means... something else.
I stung me It?
3547192
Spanked is a term used for round impacts quite a bit, but the rest, yes typos. I'll get them sorted. Thanks for spotting them!
3546726
NOOO! Why can't it last forever
Why did I imagine that freaking Twilight scepter?
3547403 A few more I spotted:
standing atop the slop with a pained look on her face
slope
A book written by Twilight Sparkle herself. 'The Elements of Harmony, a Reference Guide, Version two. Covering the history of them till our modern day.
(Missing closing apostrophe in book title)
Standing up, he moves to the outer edge of the shallow ground
moved
Oh Goddesses he had! She'd seen me!
she
the drug addled psychopaths were bounding heedless of the bold through the snowy forest.
cold
rushing to her side when she fell on her side.
when she fell over
I can smell ya like a gumdrop on Hearths Warning Morning, rascal!
Warming (Unless that was on purpose, I found it hilarious)
Shackles, Grindstone and Wildcard...they were all out there.
Shackles, Grindstone, Wildcard and Brutus...
I cannot get over how fantastic this fic is. You sir, are making my dream come true!
I really enjoyed this chapter even though they never sang.
Hm, is there something between Unity and Protégé that I'm getting a glimps of here?
Hm...
Anyway, fantastic chapter as always Fuzzy. I really felt engaged during all of the scenes, especially the cold blows of the mountain winds! And, oh boy, the tree baddies at one place... all having a reason to want Murk. Poor guy.
I really like how Grimstone just shrugged off Brutus' challenge. There'll be a big fight sometime down the road.
3556952 Protégé has a cutie mark of symbolising harmony and he has leadership potential, wanting to work with others rather than against them. He's not very self-assured and lacks the sneaky stealth skills.
Unity has a power to bring ponies together (I think her mark was all three races?) and is willing to sew hope wherever she goes. She's very self-confident and is a surprisingly good rogue.
The two compliment each other very well, and I could definitely see them as working partners or even a couple some time down the road.
Murky's character growth may be the aspect of the story that I like best, but it's impossible to ignore how suspenseful the previous two chapters were, or how exciting the action in this chapter is.
So I just found a pretty awesome picture, and I figure this is probably pretty close to what Murky's life would be like before the bombs fell
blitzpony.deviantart.com/art/If-you-ll-only-notice-379988400
Art by blitzpony
3576619
Chances are he would be that quiet little pegasus sketching away in between meeting with those he can finally be around. D'aaww. :p
3698889
Yeah I knew I didn't want to go through with anything in that scene. Frankly, I don't go for shock value in MN7 and it's such a touchy subject to folks. It's a real tough job sometimes though. Filly and raiders are notable for it a lot though by the original story's canon so...it's a balancing act, but I never do what I don't need to!
Murky is anywhere between 14-21, up to the reader, but even he doesn't know for sure. Glimmerlight is in the age range of about 24-28 I believe I stated once, she's notably older than Murky.
Brimstone once said he was 10 years older than her...the old guys was being kind to himself, he's over 60. (Although it's more an old draft inclusion I need to remind myself to change! xD)
Great story. Really long ( and as someone said already for sure: Your chapters need chapters!). I have read it in, like, 4 days ... and I have hated every other second of it. This story is just emotional roller-coaster! One moment, everything is ok, Murk is happy and then something terrible happens. It depressed me greatly!
And that is why this is such a great story. I really hope you will give this story (and its readers) happy end, Murk deserves it.
Leo out.
We've gone a whole month without Murky Number Seven...update?...
3717703
Holiday season, mostly. I was working 10 hour shifts every day for about 2 weeks before Christmas too. So I'm afraid that kills writing time.
It's given me a lot of oppurtunity and downtime to plan out ahead though.
3721010 Rest...rest and recharge your batteries Murky--I knew Shackles was driving you hard but I didn't know it what that hard!
"Great, Wacky's gone crazy again..."
"Eeyupe!"
I finally caught up!
...
Oh, fudge, now I will have to wait for updates....
Say, tell me ya'll what you think of this shipping: MurkyRagini? I mean, it could happen... would be hilarious to read.
I really think Ragini should have more "screen time" in the future. I missed her in the previous two chapters, I was curious how she would react to such harsh treatment of slaves, or how would she act in the Outer Metro.
*Cough, cough*
FUZZY!
Been a while my limey little mastermind! Aren't running yourself ragged on completing these immense(ly entertaining) chapters are you?
Hope not. Though I found the two-parter a little disappointing due to its introduction of an issue that was solved paragraphs later and the lack of introduction to the mint-beasts that just seemed like a contrived threat for the chapter, you had me absolutely wrapped in this one. The moment Wildcard appeared...I just...the noise I made. This chapter really feels like we're bringing it down to the wire, assuming we have at least 8 more chapters before the finale, I really wanted to make some more predictions:
****WARNING: POSSIBLE SPOILERS AHEAD****
Well, we can all safely assume that any antagonist introduced thus far (Wildcard, Brutus, Grindstone, even Shackles) are going to start being picked off in the next few chapters or so. It's not spoiler-y to know flat-out that antagonists are going to die, just a matter of when and how. I suspect either Brutus or Wildcard first... but moving on.
There's also (as always) been a big speculation about "oh, Murky must be talking to Homage, right?" Pfft. Fuzzy, you're unpredictable only if people think you're predictable. Chapter 17, Murky's speech to Brimstone about events after death... there's just no way you included that moment for no reason.
My main suspicion: Murky will more than likely die by the end of this story, more than likely in an epilogue of some kind, and the person he's talking to is more than likely Luna... of course, this is just speculation. Chances of me being correct on any of these statements are simply slim to none.
****END OF SPOILERS****
But...I have a flavor to ask
Would you at all be interested in reading the prologue/first chapter of the story my friend and I have been working on? Getting it an appraisal from a seasoned FO:E author would certainly either encourage or deter any further work/motivation. Whenever you have the FREE TIME of course.
Again, as I've said in the past, it's alright if you say no, just know I'll be sad.
3539543 Crazy Theory:Murky has already been with Unity.The theory is that they already were together but in the failed escape that Unity talked about, they striped their memory out for some reason and separated them because they needed unity for whatever reason they need her now for and didn't want her to be worry about him. Of course that doesn't work because you still remember parts of what was erased. I mean we found out that murky went to grindstone when he first stared in filly, who also owned unity too, and when he was talking about why he was punished and sent to the Pitt he doesn't remember what he did just that it was all blurry and did something bad and Unity also talks about how her "buck" got sent to another place. One of the biggest reasons i believe this is all the "dream" sequences he has had over the course of the story. In each one he is running with somepony who he thinks is a mare, felt locked in place(probably the erasing of the memories part) , get to the wall but get stopped, and embracing the mare. The mare in the dreams also almost always says just five words with "Together"( I don't remember if we heard all five yet because I went back thought the story and couldn't find it) being the only words we hear. Unity always goes on about how they said they would leave "Together or not at all". I also feel that we keep avoiding the earlier pages in the journal because Unity will be in one of them and will see at the right moment. Also have we learned when murky stared drawing yet because I feel he learned when he was with grindstone and that he draws his "personal" sketches because of Unity and just doesn't remember. Another hint was back in Ch 13 when murky closed the love-locket near the end of that chapter it kinda saying that he closed because he is the one to. Of course their is still the reason why would murky be so confident in the beginning if he did have not have the stable dweller to look to.It might ruin the whole first time to draw for himself, first chance at the wall, and others in the beginning and make them feel pointless Also the buck from the ministry cloud still be him and they just took his memories and implanted them into murky but has like no reason to even happen. Sorry for the long comment just haven't seen anyone else have this theory and just wanted to get out their encase it hasn't already.
Sill this would be a crazy shock if this were the case
3747693
Okay, geeze...that's a really good theory. Way better than any of the half-assed ones I've accumulated thus far, good on you.
Though, like any theory, until proven, it has virtually no credibitility. But if you are right, let me be the first to say "Good call, you brilliant mothergrabber."
It also provides a really good reason for why we don't have any real idea about how the slavers witnessed her talent/learned of its possibilities...
3747693 Holy...Crap...Thats....THATS BRILLIANT!!
and it makes sense too!!! MIND FUCKING BLOWN
Hi Murky,
I've just read "Sixty minutes in hell" and what I can say is that this chapter, as a tipping point, as an apotheosis of violence, sadness, happiness, destruction, revelations and writing style was completely awesome.
I couldn't stop reading, I couln't!
Thanks for that chapter!
3745522
Hey there! Thanks for the well wishes of it, I can tell you I am still mid production on all this so there's no real ceasing of getting the next ones all tooled down and edited up! All I can say is that those 'things' may not perhaps be the once off thing that is thought. There's a general "rule" I have that almost nothing major is introduced without reason in this story and while there was one part that I mentioned and let drift to the wind long ago (Rarity mentioning something stolen from her in an audio diary in Chapter 13) due to cutting that entire subplot because it was pointless the 'things' of the outer metro I can assure have a reason to exist. :)
Whether we'll encounter them again? Watch this space. ;)
3754394
I do feel Chapter 12 is one of my better written ones that I am quite proud of. The response was exceptionally positive and I'm glad to see its still picking people up with it! Hopefully Act 2's finale before Act 3 begins can be just as fun. :)
3755753
If you meet me on the FoE IRC, I'm gonna throw you gold!
Keep going ;)
3753047 I can blow people's minds
3806624
Generally I have advised 1 chapter at a time per day whenever people ask me for a rate. I think you perhaps just wore yourself out! You aren't wrong that some of the second half of 18 perhaps repeats a little (That was the cut down version, originally a couple others like Sunny got screentime too) and that a little could have been improved pacing wise...but it was my first shot at writing such a chapter type.
Not that I'm saying that should be an excuse, "it was my first time" I don't see as a means to be complacent about my work! Just sayin' is all. :p
3547403
One more.
Subject, not object!! Use 'she'. I've seen the two used incorrectly quite a few times in this story.
A nice, relatively positive chapter. The train scenes were exceptionally well done. The tension was so thick you could feel it.
Wildcard. I don't know if he's a descendant of Pinkie or just really fucking insane.
It
It's been far, far too long since I last read a chapter of an FoE story. Rectifying now!
You only get what you give!
Yes, one of things I've craving the most has finally happened! Nothing can break them apart again... hopefully. And, we will finally get answers.
"(He hadn't asked for them back. By my logic, that meant they were mine now!)"
Celestial this line killed me. Keep up the awesome work Fuzzy.
Also sorry don't know how to use quotes.
A child hearing a lifetime killer telling a story about how he killed another child with his bare hooves is fine but swearing is bad.
I already related a bit to Murky, but this is just uncanny
Is someone reading Murky's mind or something? There are no quotes around the first line.