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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Damn.
Yay, it looks like MNS is becoming prolific once more.
Thanks for writing such a great story, I'm really interested in how it's gone so far.
Dying to know just what those things are i keep thinking of salazar's right hand (Verdugo) from Resident Evil 4.
I can feel the entering-final-act-ness.
It's tense.
Those mint things are waaaaaaaaaaaay beyond "too spooky". Goddamn...
In hoof, perhaps?
3476458 I'm thinking a cross between the invisible [url=
http://fallout.wikia.com/wiki/Night_stalker]Nightstalkers of New Vegas, and Legend of Korra's Dark Spirits. Really weird that they smell like mint though. Good atmosphere and some really gruesome deaths .
I can't quite remember what this mountain mission is about, could someone remind me?
The end of "Just Downstairs" part 1 is foretold.... Beep...
Woo something to read tonight too! ^_^
Me? It's dialect/accent but you should still use the proper word, 'ey?
3476943>>3478100
Fixed and Fixed.
Luminous, yeah I had worried that given how long it had been since Chapter 20. Red Eye sums it up at the end of it, that its to uncover Aurora's secrets before Shackles does. At least that's the angle Protégé cares about to get the power for his master, not to Shackles.
Naturally, Murky has more personal reasons to go on it.
Murky has gathered a lot of friends, hasn't he? So many I kinda couldn't keep them all straight. Will have to read through again.
Hip Hip hooray, Part 2!
In these two chapters, I feel the spotlight has been placed firmly on Protégé, and I like this very much, as Its nice to see him fleshed out a bit more. Also, speaking of Protégé, The whole debacle with the loss of his mind (at least, for a moment) was god-dammed creepy. I would take death over something like that. It appears Glimmer has similar feelings, however hard she tries to laugh to keep Murky happy.
I would say the main thing about this chapter, is that they have crossed a line from which there is no return. After they have all been so blatantly involved in something of this scale, Nobody can pretend this did not happen and let them on their merry way. This is most true with Protégé. Think about how he has changed in the way he helps others. Originally he was just a slaver who was not a total bastard, he soon started to listen to what Murky had to say. And now? Now he is gunning down other slavers and helping slaves escape, and actively helping the 'Grand Escape' plan. Gotta love Character development!
Chainlink Shackles has shown up again, and has once more proven he is a arsehole. Good job. Joking aside, if anyone had any doubts to where his loyalty lies, its quite clear that he only takes orders from himself
and is a loose cannon cop who does not play by the rules... I mean err... he cares not for Red eye or anything like that, he just wants to rule. Damn, you could at least pretend its for the greater good!Dem mint creatures. How I love how you wrote these! Even when we have multiple encounters with them, we have no idea what they look like, what they are, or why they do what they do. I can really see the inspiration from classic horror films, as that fits all of the Classic Monster Quota, and the fact that they killed off the slavers one by one 'offscreen' is even better.
Something to ponder about, Why was Murky unaffected by the mind slavery device, when Protégé was very quickly effected, and the only reason the others were not, was because of a group effort, and it still did not completely work.
And as a final note, FUCK ASYLUMS.
Have a great Week!
Pt. ii, and so soon? :DDD
I'd like to see fewer exclamations from the characters. Everyone yelling all the time kind've dilutes the drama.
Well at least he saved Glimmer from being trapped inside of herself and saved Sunny also . Though I wonder if Redeye does know what Shackles is doing. Now he just has to save Unity, good chapter again .
3478909 My guess is that it has to do with him "realizing" who he is and how he doesn't see himself as a slave anymore.
3478909
I am indeed a massive fan of older horror movies. I wanted to bring in what made them good, not just the JUMPSCARE SCARED YA WITH A SUDDEN MUSICAL SPIKE you get these days. Very glad you noticed that influence!
Protégé is indeed developing throughout this one majorly, it's an important moment for his story and I'll be interested to hear how people think of it as it goes on. Even more is how I'm glad that folks actually follow how they change as characters. Thanks for writing that out to lemme know what you see him as here!
I had to work in an Asylum once. Might say something for how I wrote it maybe? Hahaha.
Thanks for commenting so well and with so much, very appreciated!
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It's been a while since he had a chance for Unity. I was indeed hoping this would be something folks would dearly want.
Now he has a chance. Whether he'll make it happen...hmmm
Previously, the creepiest thing I'd read (Because I have a very vivid imagination) was chapter 6 of Project Horizons. But now I can say that has definitely been topped. I mean creepy robots being controlled by mentally insane children writing "Play?" on the walls with the blood of their victims is one thing, but this? Yeah the whole insane ambiance of the whole situation just tops it off. My theory is that they're a bunch of Zebras who messed with the wrong brews, likely a large amount of Mint-Als, and were trapped there when the Balefire hit, leaving a bunch of psychopathic, necromantic, physically inhanced, mint smelling killing machines. Of course that's just my theory
That was intense, i'm at a loss for words right now it was that intense....
3481978
I most certainly am a fan of Rent. Congrats, you're the first person to spot it (and then let me know) since that chapter went out! I performed in Rent once (As the Drug Dealer!), it was an absolute blast and one of the best weeks of my life. I had to give it a little something in a quick little nod. ;)
I am still shipping Murky and
Sunny <3
3483989 I agree with this ship
I wonder how long Shackles stood by the door to the asylum, waiting for his goons to bring back Murky? I can just imagine him looming over three or four more slavers, drinking in their fear as they listen to the screams of their comrades.
Those mint smelling creatures are scary but in all honesty I'm dying to know what they actually are. You made them so creepily interesting I just can't help but be intrigued owo
3476458
3476943
3488811
Did not someone mention in FO:E or Project Horizons that Angel bunny was experimenting with chems and augmentations? Sort of a fluffy Dr. Robotnik if you will... My first though was that they ran across an asylum full of Angel's experiments.
Really loved these last two chapters. Reminds me of the earlier chapters in the stable (which happened to be my favourite chapters). Feels like the story is picking up pace and progressing now.
Wonderful story. Very good writing, though the last couple of chapter/stories had somewhat lacking grammar/spelling. Too many exclamation points.
The "bleak period" after arfu were torturous, in that he was in so much pain that it almost physically hurt. I admire your skill.
I hope to see more soon.
3512192
Hope is at the core of the story, find that little spark of it and hang on tight. it'll never go, no matter how bad it gets there's always hope. :)
3509843
Interesting...it's amazing how divided people are over Protégé. Some feel pity for him, others loathe him, some love him. Going to be intriguing to see how you feel about some later chapters! Do be sure to let me know how your perception of him goes!
3515134 I see Protege as generally a really good pony but hes very misguided, I hope after what happened in the most recent chapters he'll start questioning what he believes in.
3516183
He really is blissfully unknowing sometimes, is our Murky. :p
Also, ta for the typo spot. Fixed.
I know I said this before, but it bears repeating. Fantastic job on this chapter, Fuzzy. Very good work.
3535395
Thanks, Warb! Really glad you enjoyed it! :)
I've started reading it. Every morning it is accompanying me during my journey to school.
Thanks for giving me a great story to read.
Oh that was awesome. I reeaally want to know what these things are, but at the same time, it's like the first Alien film; not seeing them makes them that much more terrifying.
Chapter 23 awaits and i can't wait but im over an hour late for work
Holy hell, Just Downstairs was better than sex, which really weirds me out, especially considering that it was mostly horror and gore... But it was just that damn good. Thank you for this epic piece of awesomesauce.
Even though it seems ridiculous to ask , do you think you could have murk draw the.. Uhh
Well whatever monster was down there .
I would personally name it ...deathmint?
No .
DarkRot
there we go somthing to fit well with the discription or whatever .
Who knows maybe you come up with something better. I'm pretty shot for ideas.
Should be 'whose is' or 'who's' but not 'who's is'
'reflecting' and 'an'
This time I made the right choice,
I read this in the pitch black dark of 1:30 AM, listening to creepy music in a completely silent house.
It did the trick. Cold sweat and double takes at every shadow. Well done, Fuzzy.
I'm EXTREMELY curious about these creatures, however. Maybe you could give us an artistic rendering of one, half submerged in shadow?
The effect you created by never actually showing what they truly ere worked beautifully. My overactive imagination created something of an ameboa-centipede hybrid, with scores of limbs to propel itself at high speed and dismember anything it catches.
One last question: what's up with the mint smell and the alarm clock-esque beeping?
EDIT: I'm starting to really feel for Protege here. He's clearly torn over what to do about Murk. That I consider redemption for him shooting Murk on the rooftop.
I'm going to be ECSTATIC if he goes with them on the escape.
3486307 You're perfectly captured exactly what I thought Shackles was doing.
Just found this.
fc02.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2013/320/b/9/rotten_mint_by_brisineo-d6uix2w.png
On second thought, Fuzzy... why don't we just leave things to the imagination.
2chapters presented some of the best horror I seen in years.
People need to learn that shoving a flashlight in the monsters face while it goes "ogabogaboga" is not really scary in the long run. This however puts the fear of the unokwn right trough your soul.
Whenever they talked about the mint monsters I just kept thinking of deathclaws. I wonder what deathclaws smells like?
Definetly time to haul tail!
The creepy factor was terrifying, I had to look over my shoulder every now and then.
I imagine things only from my nightmares, minus the mint smell. But, I am glad things are kind of coming together.
For the whole sequence of Murky losing it in that room where he tried to get through to Glimmer I was just like . . . "For the love of the Goddesses, GET OUT OF THIS OBVIOUSLY MIND-CONTROLLING PLACE FIRST! AND THEN TRY TO BRING HER BACK. It's like trying to get someone to breath when they're still underwater. You're just upsetting yourself for no reason! Just have Brim grab her and get her OUT of the place that is effecting her mind! Your drama is not helping! LEAVE WITH HER ALREADY!"
And than he actually got her back.
But wasn't the part where Murky and Sunny try to escape Shackles at the mall and are stopped by Wildcard AFTER Murky dropped into the sewer? She'd have already known he was alive . . .
Felt I should come back and leave this comment.
Everyone's praising you for the horror sequence of the metro monsters but for my money, my favorite horror aspect of this chapter is the creepy influence of Ministry station; voices in your head, memories and hearing things and the fact that it targets certain vulnerable people, making you wonder how you yourself would be effected. It's like a creepy town induced by the trappings of a haunted house. Fallout: Equestria fanfiction has gotten us monsters and zombies, but you finally got the wasteland some ghosts. We've seen creepy smiley towns before such as in Fallout: Equestria - Pink Eyes, but this being mixed with voices in your head that prey on the weak is much more compelling.
In comparison, the metro monsters are just monsters with a few weird M.O.s signalling their presence that you can't get near enough to see. Good, but in a way not quite as interesting. I mostly just wondered why they made both organic and artificial noises and if we're ever gonna find out the reason.
The metro monsters were still memorable and cool though. Though the part of it that caught my imagination the most was simply when Protege said that researching it gave him nightmares. I kind of wished he'd said more about how research caused nightmares because I was partially motivated by just not understanding what nightmare-inducing research would consist of, but I looked up some Reddit threads on what people considered the scariest wikipedia articles. I actually listed and classified them in a word document.
I was listening to this when I left this comment; https://youtu.be/T4YQRJFarXU?t=1h7m31s. Just tabbed over to see it had a picture of an underground tunnel . . .
Those poor slavers..
Damn, Fuzzy. I really hope you take the time to dabble in some horror writing now that you've finished this story. Between this chapter and the Stable you are easily among the best I've read on this site.
I hope we get to see these minty monsters again. If only so that we learn what they actually are.
Protege gonna end up being a liability, one way or another. Be it his fanatical indoctrination or the mind control vulnerability.
Also, you don't scream at people who are your only supporters and have no real loyalties to you. For all his smarts, his fanatical devotion leaves him lacking in the political department.
7846946
Leaving the details vague is far more effective than describing them fully, letting the reader's imagination provide the horror and gorey filler.
7707687
Very likely since they worked for Shackles then what they got was far better than they deserved.
In all honesty there really isn't any Salver or Overseer in Fillydelphia that doesn't deserve to die, just some like Protegè and List Seeker may have earned a quicker and more painless death than the majority of them.
Even though the Slavers are ironically just as enslaved as anyone else, thier abuses and torture of those imprisoned in Filly's walls is inexcusable and unforgivable.