A new pony has come to Ponyville from Manehattan! But is he a crazed lunatic, or just eccentric? Or has something much more dangerous come to Equestria? Will the mane six be able to find out in time? Will Twilight Sparkle have a letter to send to the princess? Why did the author put a bunch of mostly silly questions in the long description of the story? Will he ever stop? Does this description make my butt look big?
Ok, enough of that. This is the first part of a story that's going to wander all over the place, so it will probably be split up into a few different 'books' by the time I'm done. It's the only way I can think of to tag each part accurately. be completely rewritten so I don't make every mistake a new writer can make. Ya, the title sucks, but it'll make sense eventually. Thoughts and criticism are always welcome and very much appreciated.
(Oh, and the answers to the questions above are: read it and find out, read it and find out, read it and find out, read it and find out, because I really like that gag, I doubt it, and "How did that get in there, that's just odd, even for me.")
the description, lol. I'll read this as soon as I am done with my current story, and post a review.
Is it me, or did you spell your own name wrong in the title?
I like it.
If you need an editor/proof-reader; give me a shout.
I believe this is the beginning of a great story, I am looking forwards to seeing more!
Also... *poke, poke* Keep working!
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I had a typo in the title?! Worst! Possible! Thing!
Seriously though, thanks for pointing that out. I need to stop writing & editing when I'm without sleep.
review: well written, the individual scenes flow well (though there is room for improvement). might I suggest paragraph spacing (to avoid the story from looking intimidating to read)? I usually don't read stories with ocs but this has been worth it. looking forward to the rest of the story.
additional tip: be sure not to make it seem like a compilation of separate stories, (a way to avoid this is connecting two stories with a scene that involves both).
overall rating: 7/10
1158865
Ya, spacing things out would probably be useful. The various scenes will make sense together once it's done, but at this point, it's admittedly a bit of a jumble.
1158865 What is it with the hard-on people seem to have for double-spaced paragraphs? They make the story look like a disjointed mess. (But that's just my two bits, take it how you will.)
However, indenting your paragraphs would be a good idea.
EDIT: Looking back, this seems an awful lot like I'm raging...
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Just one of the hazards of text based communications. I'm liking the suggestion actually. In reference to your earlier post, If you're willing to take on the hazard of proof reading my occasional insanity, I'd be happy to take you up on the offer.
So, wow. This story has been up for a whole day, actually gotten views and everything, and I haven't had anyone raging at me for writing garbage.
Thanks everyone for the advice and comments, that's the only way I'll be able to improve my writing and have the motivation to keep writing. On a related note, I just had inspiration for a one shot, now I need to make it into enough of a story to be worth posting.
I'm liking that description...
TO THE READING MOBILE!
Well, that was fun. I'll stay tuned for Chapter 4.
1858515. Outstanding! I'll continue plugging away at things then.
Interesting!!! where is Chapter 4?? wanna read more Quickwrench!!