Preparations & Expectations
Silver Spoon sat humming softly to herself in her room, considering her reflection in the mirror. Lately, I’ve really let myself go. I kinda like my mane down instead of being braided. She ran a hoof through her mane. Too much work keeping it in order.
In the background, a familiar mare appeared. “Hello, Sunset,” Silver Spoon said with a bright smile as she caught her mother’s reflection.
“You have a guest,” Sunset frankly said, offering a half-hearted smile as she ushered in a pony from around the corner.
“Hi, Silver Spoon!” Apple Bloom chirped, moving into the room.
"Th-thank you, Sunset," Silver Spoon said, flashing a smile
“I spoke with the weather pegasus again today. She says it will be nice out. Perhaps you should go with your friends?” Sunset flashed a smile and then disappeared down the hall.
She speaks with the weather team quite a bit, Silver Spoon noted. I wonder if she knows Rainbow Dash...
"So what's been up with y'all?" Apple Bloom moved over to Silver Spoon's bed to make herself comfortable at her side. "Ya haven't been crusading th' past few days."
"Oh, I'm sorry." Silver Spoon frowned. "My Daddy wanted to spend time together is all; in the middle of everything I forgot to tell you."
Apple Bloom waved a passive hoof. "Nah, ah understand. Family's important." She paused, narrowing her eyes thoughtfully.
"What?" Silver Spoon blinked.
"It's just... ya look an awful lot like your ma," Apple Bloom noted, "'Cept fer th' mane. Ya get that from yer pa. An' now that ah think about it... yer pa looks an awful lot like th' Mayor."
Silver Spoon tapped a hoof to her chin as she mentally compared the two ponies. I... I've never noticed that. Same coat color and mane. If the Mayor's Nightmare Night clown costume is anything to go by, I'd say she's just as eccentric.
"Oh!" Apple Bloom suddenly exclaimed. "That reminds me; turns out we were followin’ th' wrong lead in our investigation."
"How? Your brother and Ms. Cheerilee aren't getting married?"
Apple Bloom shook her head. "No, turns out Aunt 'n Uncle Orange dropped by, an' Big Mac's attendin’ some fancy meetin. Must be big fer my aunt ‘n uncle t’ come out to th’ country.”
Important meeting, huh? A grin slowly crawled across Silver Spoon’s face. Hmmm... I wonder...
“Uh... what’s with th’ creeper smile?” Apple Bloom chuckled. “You been hangin’ round Pinkie too?”
“Oh, no.” Silver Spoon giggled. “Just excited, Bloom.”
“‘Bloom’?” Apple Bloom echoed with a smirk. “Dang, ya really are in a good mood!”
“So, are we crusading today?” Silver Spoon asked.
“That’s right!” Apple Bloom blinked in realization. “Ah almost forgot why ah came by! There’s this real weird circus just outside town. Popped outta nowhere like, overnight, all set up with tents and stuff.”
That’s impossible. Silver Spoon rolled her eyes. “I know I can be a little gullible, Apple Bloom, but that’s stretching it. We would have known about it before it arrived or at least heard all the noise in setting everything up.”
“See, that’s what ah was thinkin’ too!” Apple Bloom nodded. “Posters are round town right now sayin’ it don’t open ‘til sundown. Wanna come?”
“Yeah right.” Silver Spoon hook her head. “What’s the name of the circus?”
“Cirque du mystère,” Apple Bloom said almost autonomously with surprising enunciation on the nuances of letters.
“...Was... was that Prench?!” Silver Spoon blinked in amazement.
Apple Bloom soothed her head with a hoof. “Dagnabbit... ever since that one time! Don’t ever, ever use heart’s desire, Silver Spoon. It ain’t worth it.”
“You sound good at it!” Silver Spoon giggled. “I can’t speak it that well, but I know Sunset speaks Prench fluently.”
“Ah speak it pretty good,” Apple Bloom admitted. “After th’ first time, ah went t’ Twilight to see what it was ah was saying. She gave me so many books ah could hardly make it home!” she explained. “Then Cheerilee found out and started offerin’ extra credit if ah studied it. That was nice o' her, 'specially since it's kinda easy t' pick up" Apple Bloom grinned. "'Sides, it's kinda funny that ah know somethin’ not even Big Mac or AJ knows!”
“Cirque du mystere,” Silver Spoon muttered, picking her brain in an attempt to translate it.
“Nah,” Apple Bloom shook her head. “Mystère. Ya gotta pronounce it right. Otherwise, ya sound like ya got some weird accent.”
Silver Spoon cocked a perplexed brow. “I have an accent?” She giggled, shaking her head. “Anyway, what does it mean?”
“Circus of mystery.” Apple Bloom puffed out her chest. “Anyway, admission is like 'a hundred bits, so make sure to bring money and a lil’ extra fer whatever they have inside.”
“Alright,” Silver Spoon said. “I’ll meet you later then?”
“Yeah.” Apple Bloom nodded. “Ya got anything t’ do in th’ meantime?”
Silver Spoon tapped a hoof to her chin. “I think I’m going to go check on Sweetie Belle and Rarity. I haven’t been by the boutique in a while.”
“Awright.” Apple Bloom nodded, moving over to the door to her room. “One more thing. Heh, don’t know why ah’m forgettin stuff left ‘n right t’day, but Sweetie Belle’s a little more Sweetie Belle ‘n usual, so... yeah. I dunno what’s up with her.”
Silver Spoon shrugged. "I've no clue either." Good thing I'm going by there, I wonder what's wrong.
“Later, Silver Spoon!” Apple Bloom waved to Silver Spoon before rounding the corner to the hallway.
Once Silver Spoon was alone, one thought began to gnaw at her. Hmm... Mayor Mare... I wonder if that’s her real name. She turned back to her mirror and stared thoughtfully at nothing in particular. What Rarity said a—
“So I heard the circus is in town!” Her father’s voice chirped as his reflection came into her mirror.
Silver Spoon jumped and quickly turned, flashing Sterling a smile. “Yes, Apple Bloom just told me. Is that what we are going to be doing today?”
Sterling sighed, shaking his head. “Sorry, I can’t go; I have business to tend to today. I came to ask you to think of your old man when you pass a toffee apple stand!” He licked his lips and grinned. “I know I can buy them at anytime, but there’s nothing quite like circus food!”
“Alright, Daddy.” Silver Spoon giggled, shaking her head. “I’m about to go to Carousel Boutique.”
“Have fun, my twitcy witchy filly,” Sterling teased, playfully tussling Silver Spoon’s mane. “I think another party is in order... maybe around the theme of the circus?”
“I can tell you what it’s like after I get back,” Silver Spoon offered.
“Thanks, Silver.” Sterling planted a kiss on her forehead. “Hopefully, I’ll get to experience it before it leaves town.” He dreamily sighed.
“You’ve never been to a circus, Daddy?” Silver Spoon asked, a little surprised.
“Oh, I have.” Sterling nodded. “But, this circus is unique. Every show is a little different," he began with growing enthusiasm. "I've never experienced Le Cirque du Mystère before; I only know of it by reputation. It constantly moves from place to place, appearing in the dead of night as if it had been there all along. I've heard rumors that it's even performed in the Crystal Empire!"
Wow, something fun even my father hasn’t done! Silver Spoon couldn’t help but feel excitement building inside her, her mind racing with thoughts of grandeur in impossible feats performed before her eyes.
“I’m about to go to Carousel Boutique, Daddy,” she said, hopping from her seat. “I won’t be back until later, okay?”
“Just be careful, Silver.” Sterling added, hugging Silver Spoon tightly.
“I will, daddy.” Silver Spoon smiled, returning the hug as tightly as she could.
---
Dear Silver... no, that sound weird.
Sweetie Belle groaned, crumpling up the scrap of paper and tossing it to join several others across the room. She stared at a fresh sheet, narrowing her eyes as if willing the words that she couldn’t find to appear.
This has to be right. Like Rarity said, I shouldn't exactly make it plain; I should gauge their reaction. But... that’d be a lot easier. Then again, she is kinda oblivious. And Rarity, I think, thinks I have a crush on a colt. Sweetie Belle’s heart raced, a familiar fond memory engraved in her mind.
She called it beautiful... even though I messed up. I still don’t exactly know what I should say. Hm... maybe I could get some ideas at the circus? After all, I have time. She doesn’t know how I feel just yet, and when I tell her, things have to be perfect! Heh, I think I know how Rarity feels about her dresses now.
Sweetie Belle looked out her window and saw the circus there in shades of blue that almost appeared monochrome. Circus performers do what they do best. Maybe, if just for her, singing isn’t so scary a thought.
“Sweetie Belle, are you alright?” echoed Rarity’s voice from the hallway.
“Yeah, sis,” Sweetie Belle replied. “Come in.”
Rarity pressed her way through the door and instantly noticed the numerous failed drafts piled in the corner. “I see somepony has been hard at work.”
“More or less.” Sweetie Belle shrugged, her face in her hooves.
“My break is almost over. I feel I should offer a bit more advice to you.” Rarity sat beside her sister, following her gaze to the circus. “I do know what it feels like to believe you have fallen in love for the first time, but be careful,” she cautioned with a saddened, weary look. “Please be sure you are in love and not the thought of just being in love.”
“I know my feelings are for my special somepony, Rarity.” Sweetie Belle nodded.
“Alright.” Rarity nodded, hugging her sister and sighing happily. “You’ve grown up quite a bit since you began staying with me. I’m well aware I’m not perfect, but I do hope I’ve been something of a role model for my dear little sister.”
“Of course,” Sweetie Belle chirped. “Hey, sis, can I go to the circus later on?”
“Sure, I’ll make sure you have money for admission and whatever else might catch your eye.” Rarity smiled. “I’ll probably catch up with you a little later, after closing time.”
“Alright, thanks, Rarity.” Sweetie Belle smiled.
“If you need something, tell me. I’m about to open the store.” Rarity moved over towards the door, casting a passive glance to Sweetie Belle’s pile of notes and giggling to herself.
---
Burdened with a saddle bag that bulged on one side with money. Silver Spoon entered Carousel Boutique, her bag jingiling loudly with each step.
Autonomously, Rarity flashed her a smile before reciting her usual greeting, “Welcome to Carou—” She turned and blinked as she realized her guest wasn’t a usual customer. “Oh, Silver Spoon! It is good to see you again, dear.”
“Hello, Rarity.” Silver Spoon smiled, gazing over the main floor.
Rarity giggled, knowing all too well who Silver Spoon was searching for. “She’s upstairs in her room. You know the way.” She gestured towards the stairs, her attention drawn to a powdery white unicorn that stepped in behind her. “Look what the cat has dragged in,” Rarity giggled.
Silver Spoon gave a passive glance, only getting a blur of blue and a cutie mark that appeared to be a wand and a crescent moon. She almost seems familiar. The thought was abruptly stopped. Silver Spoon bumped into something soft.
“Eep!” Sweetie Belle squeaked, whipping around in a feverish blush.
“Sorry, Belle.” Silver Spoon awkwardly smiled, narrowing her eyes to focus on the marshmallow in front of her. “Darn, my glasses came off.”
Silver Spoon flinched. Sweetie Belle placed her glasses back on their rightful place... magically. She’s doing it! She grinned, eyes wide in amazement. “Hey... you did it!”
Sweetie Belle’s face was burnt red, pawing at the ground with a hoof. “I guess.” She shrugged.
“You guess?” Silver Spoon echoed, frowning a bit. “I’ve never seen you use magic before, and you seem so... bleh about it!”
“I guess I have other things on my mind.” Her face glowed brighter as she said those words.
“Apple Bloom told me you were acting strangely.” Silver Spoon frowned. “Are you okay, Sweetie Belle? You haven’t even looked at me.” She moved around, trying to get a better look. At every turn Sweetie Belle would avoid eye contact.
“I’m fine,” she said, casting a glance over her shoulder. “Hey! Have you heard about the circus?”
Silver Spoon nodded. “Yes, I have. Are you going?”
“Of course!” Sweetie Belle turned and met Silver Spoon’s gaze. “Why wouldn’t I?”
“Well, just a second ago you weren’t looking at me,” Silver Spoon noted.
“Nope.” Sweetie Belle shook her head. “Just thought I saw something in the floor. I’m looking at you now, right?”
“I guess.” Silver Spoon studied Sweetie Belle for a moment. Well, she seems back to normal.
“Hey, why does your saddlebag look heavy?” Sweetie Belle motioned towards the sack.
Silver Spoon giggled and rolled her eyes. “Well, Daddy sent me with sacks of money just in case, though I think there’s too much. I came by to check on you and your sister, though it seems Rarity has a friend over.”
“Who is it?” Sweetie Belle asked, stepping past Silver Spoon and down the stairs.
“I’m not sure. I think I recognize her cutie mark,” Silver Spoon replied, following Sweetie Belle.
Just as they came to the base of the stairs, Rarity’s guest had just stepped out. Silver Spoon only caught a fleeting glimpse of a cape in various hues of blue.
“I can see why the circus welcomed that one with open hooves.” Rarity giggled.
“Who was that, Rarity?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“A mare I thought I’d never see in Ponyville again.” Rarity shook her head. “I’m sure you two will remember her, come tonight. A pony like that is not easily forgotten; I’m sure the performance will be spectacular if it is anything like her personality.”
“Sweetie Belle, do you have anything planned today?” Silver Spoon asked.
Sweetie Belle shook her head. “No, I was just going to wait here with Rarity and help out if she needs me,” She explained. “Why? Did you have something in mind?”
“Not really. I was just going to waste away the clock until the circus opens.” Silver Spoon turned to Rarity. “Would it be alright if I helped around the shop too, Rarity?”
Rarity smiled, nodding approvingly. “I don’t mind. You don’t need to ask, Silver Spoon.”
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This kind of comes out of the blue--there's no real transition for Sunset to enter the room. not a knock, not the door soundlessly opening on well-oiled hinges, she just appears. If that happened, Silver would justifiably have a heart attack.
For that matter, where is Silver? Is she in her room, in the bathroom, where? Her family is clearly well-off enough that she could have a mirror in her room, so I have no real sense of place.
IMO, 'dipping her head' is a little ambiguous. Is she looking at her mane, or nodding to Sunset? If ambiguity is what you're shooting for, then I recommend exploring Sunset's reaction. Does she open her mouth to reply and say nothing, or else nod back awkwardly as Silver's attention shifts to Apple Bloom?
May I recommend 'mused' instead of 'noted', since this is an internal--um, musing?
First off, you need a comma after 'so', since it's a form of address.
Second, Apple Bloom sounds a little too well-spoken here. You do go into her accent in the next sentence, ('Ya' for example), but here you say 'you.' Be consistent with her accent
Third, this is one of those situations where you don't need to juxtapose 'X said/asked' immediately before said character does some kind of action. you don't need to do this because having the character's action in the same paragraph as their dialogue makes it clear who's speaking. Thus, if you'll allow a rewrite:
"So, what's been up with ya'll?" Apple Bloom moved over to Silver Spoon's bed and sat down next to her.
I think you meant to say 'noted', there. Also, the second bit of dialogue should be it's own sentence. It is possible to go from dialogue to action and back again in the same sentence, but this isn't once of those cases.
This feels a little weak. First of all, if she's pulling up mental images of her father, she's clearly already in thought. Secondly, it feels very tell-y--there's no physical indication on Silver Spoon's part that she's actually thinking about this. Again, if you don't mind a suggestion:
Silver Spoon put a hoof to her chin as she mentally compared the two ponies.
I recommend axing one of the two first words, or else combining them into one question--thus, "How so? Your..."
The last two words feel redundant. We already know who's speaking, and they don't really add much meaning beyond a joviality which 'chuckled' already established.
You/Ya discrepancy again.
That's quite a fast turnaround from skepticism to acceptance. IMO, SS would still think AB is pulling her hoof here, but play along to humor her.
First of all, there are Ah/I discrepancies throughout this paragraph. I know AB's accent can be a bit finicky to pin down in dialogue, so make sure you know to watch for this in future chapters.
Second, there are too many breaks in dialogue here. 'she explained' is redundant because the dialogue is an explanation. In addition, AB's grin seems a little out of place at the very end of the paragraph; personally, I think it would fit better in between AB actually getting the extra credit from Cheerilee and commenting that she can say things that her siblings don't understand.
"...started offerin' extra credit if ah studied it. That was really nice o' her, 'specially since it was kinda easy to pick up." Apple Bloom grinned. "'Sides, sometimes it's funny that ah know somethin' not even big Mac or AJ knows!"
IMO, 'muttered' feels like the wrong word. When you mutter, you say something deliberately quietly, so that it's hard for someone else to make out. You might consider 'attempted' or some other such word.
No criticism here, just letting you know that you made me laugh so hard I sprayed my drink across the screen. HollyFern Spit-Take Counter: 1.
Since this is AB speaking, I think 'a hundred bits' would be a better linguistic fit.
Slight issue of repetition.
IMO, this could use a little introspection--SS trying to figure out exactly what entails SB being more herself than usual and what the ramifications of that could be.
Again with the sudden mysterious apparitions of parents! If this happens twice in once chapter, there's serious potential for comedic value.
Her father's voice chirped as his reflection came into her mirror
Silver Spoon shrieked and whirled around. Good Luna, how could her parents do that!?
And there's a flag on the play! Unnecessary 'said' verb preceding action! Fifteen yard penalty and a recommended rewrite to remove it!
Same issue as above.
Proper name/title, needs to be capitalized.
Shouldn't this be stared at a fresh sheet?
'Came' seems like a weak verb in this context. 'Echoed' or 'sounded' give some sense of distance or separation, but 'came' is more generic for somepony calling down the hallway.
Improper capitalization.
So she just loaded loose bits into her saddlebags? That seems a little impractical, given a) how much noise they would make jingling loosely like that and b) how easily they could slide out. Not to mention, the sound of that much cash in one place can't exactly be safe. SS is rich enough to avoid a coinpurse or something, why wouldn't she have one?
IMO, this seems a little crass to say about somepony Rarity genuinely enjoys having around. It's more something she'd reserve for a friendly rival like Applejack or someone she actually disliked, like Blueblood.
Several issues here: first, wouldn't it be you guess? If not, then 'I guess' needs it own set of quotes inside the quotes, since it's a direct quote. (QUOTECEPTION!!!!)
Secondly, 'brow' is term for the forehead as a whole. "By the sweat of his brow..." "The tiara slowly tumbled from her brow..." etc. What you mean to talk about here is SB's eyebrow.
The description feels a little clunky because of the break. Try reversing the order of the sentence and see how that fits--thus, "Her face glowed a little brighter as she said those words."
If this is told from SS's perspective, how does she know SB was looking nowhere in particular?
And we have another flag on the play! Lack of proper capitalization, that looks like another five yard penalty!
FINAL THOUGHTS:
You still have some consistent issues with capitalization, Show Don't Tell, and Apple Bloom's accent, but nothing damning by any stretch. The biggest thing is to make a note of them and watch for them for future reference.
The pace is still smooth, your characters are believable and engaging, and I'm really intrigued to see how the Silver/Belle relationship turns out.
Again, I do recommend having another proofreader go over this even after you implement the above recommendations--I'm pretty good at editing, but I'm only human.
Hope this helps!
C-K
1303749 No, mused wouldn't be what I was going for, so, 'observed', I think, would be better...
Oh no, filly/colt/young equine shipping! One of my seventeen greatest weaknesses!
I sense Trixie coming into play.
I am very happy.
Somepony she never thought she would see again... in a circus that is like Cirque de Solie... Trixie?
Sweetie Belle has a crush on Slivy... and what is going on with Big Mac and Cheerilee?
1314174 For your first question, yes, the second, who knooooows~
Filly shipping and Trixie?!
WAITWAITWAIT*suplexes someone*
I got a joke! 'Bloom and AJ troll Rarity with Prench and Manehattenite!
1314743 Hahaha. Granted, that'd be HILARIOUS to see, I don't think AJ'd know Prench. Unless 'Bloom gives her a crash course (which'd be cute
).
1314756 Well, each would do theirs, Applebloom in Prench, and AJ responding in Snooty, and Pip ending the conversation with "And I'm British!"
shipping! YEAH!!!
Kinda didn't realize how much folks actually wanted that.
I'm surprised that Rarity would have Trixie in her shop. The performer turned her hair green, for Luna's sake!
1314858 Aaah, thank you very much for that.
1314858
It wouldn't be very generous of me to hold a grudge now, would it darling? Besides, Trixie is... well tricky. The spell she used was not transmutation but illusion. Certainly it was a hit to my pride but then... my pride could use a good hit every now and again.
Silver Belle ^^
to be honest, i really hope the whole filly shipping thing is a twist
. to would hate to sound cynical, but the romance fanfics tend to make me gag( don't get me wrong though, because i am pro gay rights.) i honestly like the ones that are more like episodes instead of massive storyline changes. but i suppose imust wait in anticipation until the time comes
1315371 Wait what?!
Did I miss something or is Sweeite Belle's crush still up in the air, I don't think I saw anything that confirmed she was crushing on Silver Spoon. 
Also Trixie is returning huh, well let's hope she learned her lesson from last time because otherwise I don't how many ponies will come to see her show.
And lastly, darn it Big Macintosh and Cheerilee are still going steady but they're not married, oh well at least Big Mac isn't rushing into anything and Cheerilee seems o.k., maybe a few more years will pass before they decided to tie the knot.
1315524>>1315772 Drama.
It is good to see the Grrreat and Powerrrrrful Trixie! again.
Seriously I didn't see this Filly shipping coming.
Although, I have to say I'm also surprised by the return of Great and Powerful Trixie as well within this chapter.
Still nice update overall as I cannot wait to see what happens in the Circus. Also I'm hoping for a Pinkie Pie Moment as well because of the whole Circus theme.
1318084 Maybe a 'Circus Afro' moment?
Okay... you've done wonders with Silver Spoon. I pray you don't mess around with Trixie. She had good points to her in Boast Busters and had a lot of horse apples shoved her way, Rarity being one of the prime shovers.
1314970 Well, Rarity, you badmouthed her show loud enough for her to hear it, then rip down one of her curtains for the dress you made. I'd say you got what you earned there.
Yay Trixie!
As for the thing with Big Mac, it's been mentioned several times that the apples (and oranges? Not sure if they are considered as the same family or seperate entities) are one of the G7, so I'd assume Big Mac is going as one of the representatives. Not sure if you have to provide your own furniture or if the apples are going to be hosting the meeting. I'd guess that's the case considering Silver's dad kind of avoided the question when she asked if he was just home on business. Still quite possible that Big Mac is gonna propose at the meeting or something, but who knows?
Sweetie's crush totally took me by surprise, though. Hopefully there will be much dawww in the future for those two. Silver did swear to help the CMC get their cutie marks, and if inspiring Sweetie to sing her a love song is what it takes, then by Celestia that's what she'll do! Now just hurry up and fall of a cliff or something so Scoots can get her search and rescue cutie mark saving you or something.
naw, JK, Scoots is gonna get a dancing cutie mark at some point I'm sure.
Oh, by the by, are you going to continue your Diamond Tiara story? I'm always leery of starting a story with the On Hiatus status.
1374457 First off, love the name.
Made me giggle. Secondly, yes, I cannot and WILL not leave Diamond Tiara hanging. I can promise you that and I only make promises I can keep, I assure you.
1376568 You think so? I kinda entertained that idea, but didn't want it to be too wordy. But, that's why I release previews.
I'll get to that.
So glad to be reading this. the original I am now reading for the second time!