Foals can do it, you can do it too! Miss Cheerilee points out some basic rules for all of her students to follow. (Note: rated teen for not having random sex scenes with Twilight Sparkle). Also, apologies to my editor Future, because I didn't run the story by him and he puts up with that sort of crap
(Also also, huge thanks to blackgryph0n *original artist* and Paleo Prints *the touch-ups* for letting me use their fine cover picture!)
Payed? WWWWHHHHYYYYY 
And in a fic about not writing badly too!
Amusing as a PSA of some sort. Horrifying when you realize that people actually write things like that.
Also, what >>1148649 said. I checked it out, and besides the professors calling you things like "sorry excuses for bipedal sentiency", it's actually incredibly useful.
>>1148591 Shoot. Thanks for that! You tend to miss things around 2:30 at night.
>>1148594 Right. I wasn't sure if this was done before. At least not like this.
>>1148649 I believe I have seen the group. Thanks.
>>1148679 You read "da magiks"
>>1148692 Thank you! :scoot angel:
>>1148826 Oh, it's just so painful. Thanks for the kind words!
>>1148836 Thanks much, glad you enjoyed it! 
>>1148878 I know. I assume several people were going to try something like this, if some haven't already. Ah well.
Nicely done! Half of the Grammar lesson seemed to be about punctuation, not grammar. When I think of "grammar" I think of subject-verb agreement, tense shifts, sentence fragments, et al. I'm probably just forgetting my English lessons, it having been a few years *cough*decades*cough* since I took an English class.
At first, I thought "How could they feature a story intended like a tutorial?"
And then I read the story, and I was like
>“Good. Because otherwise we just have this stupid sentence with no pauses that makes the reader think it a rather strange read reading it in his/her head whereas if you had commas or periods you could really make the sentence not completely run on forever and it would read more fluently and poetically.”
I see what ya did thur 
Cool to see good story advice put into a such an enjoyable format. I don't know about sticking to your strengths though. I think writers should experiment so they can work on their weaknesses.
“Give the main character a sex scene with Twilight,” somepony in the audience called out, getting raucous laughs from the rest of the class.Miss Cheerilee frowned. “Who said that?” she asked.
First thing to pop into my mind. OC deserves it.
Good stuff! Congrats on getting featured!
EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD! EQD!
That is...if you want to...
If I was the sort of person who could enjoy grammar/spelling errors when they are comedically appropriate, I'm sure this would have been hilarious.
That said, the scene with Pinkie Pie was masterfully done - and punishing the generic crummy OC like that was genius.
A pity the odds of anyone actually _applying_ those lessons is minimal.
I loved what you were going with here, but the opening was kinda odd.
You skipped past an entire scene, which actually makes sense, but what I'm getting at is that you probably should have included a divider there to indicate a scene change, rather than nothing and a comment saying you skipped past a scene.
Other than that, this is going in my best-of-the-best list!
"Everypony watched in horror as a hideous looking pony gravely rose from his chair. They were shocked to discover he was a black alicorn with red stripes covering the full length of his body, and, for whatever reason, had been sitting in Miss Cheerilee’s class. He morosely trudged to the door and dejectedly flung himself outside, away from class discussion. The door slammed behind him. How’d they miss that?"
..................
..................
..................
WHAT? 
>>1149706I think we all do. I know when to use them, but I don't actually know how to explain when they are to be used.
Also, THANK YOU!!!!! It's about freaking time somebody did something like this.
Your opening was actually pretty clever. It was deliberately pointing out what was happening with the characters. Seriously, readers, re-read the opening as if it was directed TO YOU.
Then the obvious things about a story that writers always seem to forget plot-wise are pointed out.
Get out of here, Dark Sex. I didn't mean it like that.
And finally, the most irritating thing EVER: horrible grammar, spelling, and format. Seriously, I flip a lid every time I see that.
As for that ending, you get a trollestia since I don't know where I can find a troll meme on short notice.
That ending! I got to the last three sentences and literally said: "Wait, what!?"
Such a soothing bit of random. Every day should start as this - the first paragraph, overlooking ponies, pretty much described my morning! HA!
Congrats Church! I'm hardly awake, but my appreciation is bright-eyed for your written hilarity - "You know, I've learned something today." strongly persists!
... where did the red-striped black alicorn phenomena originate from? I've always wondered! Weird.
- Who the heck is Mary Sue, anyway!?
>>1149806 I don't know about a sequel... This is just something that randomly popped into my head. I'm not so sure that I should be the one telling people how they should write their stories, considering I myself have only been writing since the beginning of March 
>>1149882 You know me, totally random. Pickles!
Thank you for liking this! I agree, I needed some comedy in my life, and so does everyone else. A waker-upper, if you will, and in more ways than one.
I have no idea why people come up with the same idea for an alicorn every single time. I'd like to say it's planned. DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUHHHH
This was fun AND informative!
I'ma gonna go write a story now! 
Thumbs up!
This should be required reading on this site.
And, to be honest, this WILL help my story quite a bit.
I need to go do some reformatting.
I've never thought about separate lines for characters, but it makes total sense now that I think about it. It would help my story flow better. Now, my grammar and spelling are almost flawless. But, a little maintenance where it's needed, if it's needed, probably wouldn't be a bad idea.
"Thx for teh helpz.
youz iz best teacher."
(Thanks for the pointers to everyone, many people should see this. Continue your quest to improve the site)
Thank you.
Just thank you.
But you missed out the misuse of contractions, and the difference between there, their, and they're. Those have always bugged me.
But one thing that I find kind of weird is how everyone says how OC Alicorns are so horrible, and yet I've never really seen any of those. Except for when they're put in to make a joke about the cliché.
>>1150564 yay! I've never had that happen before (mainly cuz I haven't written a comedy)
>>1151100 That story sounds fascinating, and at such pace! Exquisite!
>>1151161 BEST TEACHER AWARD! KABLAAM
>>1151214 Writing this at 2:00 in the morn I'm sure I missed a lot of things...
and you just have to look for those alicorns.
>>1151219 I too, am an amateur writer. Huzzah! So wait, why am I telling you guys how to write? O_O
Where is the lesson about showing not telling?! I NEED A LESSON ON THAT!
Wait, I don't... still.. Would make a good addition to story!
>>1149706 Um, lemme see if I can help you out there... (Brace for humongous comment!)
The semicolon (not to be confused with the letter j) is used primarily when two sentences are closely related, and the writer wants to emphasize that relationship.
For example: "My family is Jewish; we celebrate Hanukkah, not Christmas." Here you're trying to emphasize that, as a Jewish family, you do NOT celebrate Christmas.
Note that when using a semicolon, you MUST make sure that the semicolon splits two clauses (read: group of words) that could stand on their own as a complete sentence.
So this use of the semicolon would be wrong: "My family is Jewish; not Christian." It fails here because "Not Christian" can't stand on its own as a complete sentence.
Other (less common) uses of the semicolon include splitting up lists where commas have been used extensively, and adding them before conjunctive adverbs like "however" and "also". In short, think of the semicolon as stronger than a comma in terms of idea-stopping, but weaker than a period. (Hope this helps, and sorry to everyone else for page-stretching. 
)
I suppose the best way to sum up this story is with one word:
Clever.
I like it. The story is almost constantly leaning on the fourth wall, and it does contain some valid - if beginner level - tips for writing, although that's to be expected, as it is a beginner level lecture.
I think there were a couple of points in the story where did actually laugh, so that's also a plus.
Just a little note:
“Because nopony wants to look at a page and see so many errors it just completely takes them away from the story, right?”
I'm not entirely sure about that line. I feel it could be worded better, such as:
“Because nopony wants to look at a page and see so many errors that it just completely takes them away from the story, right?”
“Because nopony wants to look at a page and see so many errors. It just completely takes them away from the story, right?” (The ',right?' on the end makes this one less viable.)
Of course, it isn't that important. It's just something I noticed, and in a story like this it is always nice to be as correct as possible.
This going to help me a fuck ton. Everyone tells me I need to learn how to use commas, and well to be honest I forgot a ton of grammer and other realated things from english classes.
See if I had never read that story that comma before the "and" would never have been there. Your already helping me out big time, KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK
>>1151573 Sure thing. I just thought I should point it out. 
I should add that you are an excellent writer. Congratulations on getting featured.
Oh, and I have to ask: 'Church'. That wouldn't by chance be a Red vs Blue reference, would it? Or is it just completely unrelated?
"Miss Cheerilee called upon a *mare* in thick rimmed, purple glasses and curly red hair," Cheerilee has that leave no pony behind stigma. After 16 years of being held back in the first grade, Twist is still wearing those braces. Twist doesn't seem to be the only one though since that mare in the back seems the like shouting things out too.
I LOVE Cheerilee stories, as least the ones that have her as such an abstinent pony that's overly obsessed with teaching her class then getting laid by Twilight or some stallion/mare (not that I wouldn't mind reading one or two ships) 
but, I really loved the opening to this story. Cheerilee is best pony. You get to go into my favs 
A very interesting story, but unfortunately...
I found an a couple of errors.
Another bright and sunny day was dutifully waking the residents of Ponyville. Its splendor was greeted with early morning groans of disgust and anger and caffeine-less grogginess, all of which were equally waking those who had blinds that protected them from the violent rays of the early morning sun, and were very unhappy with the nuisance. A unanimous sigh was heaved. Having nothing else to do (with the exception of those who indeed had blinds, who tossed in their beds and went back to sleep), all bleary souls fell from their beds and wandered off to other parts of their houses, respectively beginning their day.
I think the first was meant to be something along the lines of 'those who didn't have blinds'. Also, the entire wording of that paragraph is sort of awkward - I don't know if that's intended or not. For example:
"Another bright and sunny day was dutifully waking the residents of Ponyville. (This is fine as-is.) Its splendor was greeted with early morning groans of disgust, and anger and caffeine-less grogginess, all of which (disgust, anger and caffine grogginess?) were equally waking those who had blinds that protected them from the violent rays of the early morning sun, and were (The object being spoke of is unclear.) very unhappy with the nuisance."
I suggest breaking the sentences up into smaller chunks, so you can clarify what you're talking about.
“Good. Because otherwise we just have this stupid sentence with no pauses that makes the reader think it a rather strange read reading it in his/her head whereas if you had commas or periods you could really make the sentence not completely run on forever and it would read more fluently and poetically.”
Yeah... sounds legit. 
>>1152264 Basically, in the show, Pinkie Pie is sometimes seen breaking the 4th wall by looking out at the audience. The fandom made a big deal out of it and several things came out and it became canon that Pinkie breaks the "4th wall"
at least, that's what I think happened. That's what I got out of it.
I love that gif!
Now here's something that reminds me of and can be used in a similar context.
I can explain the fourth wall analogy rather effectively.
When taping a live tv show, you have a set. This set consists of three walls, which act as backdrops to the action on screen.
However, the "fourth wall" is non-existent, and is supposed to be where the live studio audience is watching from. Cameras also record from this angle, so when viewed on a television it appears the camera is in the room, and the fourth wall is never seen. Therefore the screen makes up the "fourth wall".
To "lean" on or "break" the "fourth wall" refers to directly speaking to the audience or to reference ideas or items which, according to a show's internal continuity, don't exist.
In short, the fourth wall is the difference between the show's continuity and the real world. Characters capable of breaking this wall are able to make references to things the audience would know about, but that other characters in the show wouldn't necessarily be expected to know or understand. Making references to automobiles in MLP:FIM is breaking the fourth wall, because automobiles don't exist in the show, carriages do.
Make sense? If not, check out these three pages.
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