9. Jailbreak
Chapter 9-Jailbreak
"Well this is a fine predicament you find yourselves in isn't it?" Flim sneered. Rainbow gritted her teeth, fighting her every instinct to wipe that smug grin off his face with a well-placed hoof. Things had gone from bad to worse in record time.
"Just wait till we get those cattle back and kick your flanks!" she growled, her wings flared angrily.
"Oh, I don't think you two will be doing anything like that anytime soon!" Flam answered happily.
"The both of you will be in jail till at least tomorrow morning," Flim completed, the same grin from before across his lips.
"What?! Bullspit, I paid his bail!" Rainbow protested, "And you can't throw me in jail, I haven't done anything!"
"Deputy!" Flam called over his shoulder, producing a rather large green earth stallion with a black leather vest and a few lassos on his hip in the doorway. "This young mare threatened Flim and I, and threatening a law enforcement officer carries a penalty of a night in jail, does it not?"
The silent stallion nodded, his demeanor nearly identical to Mac's at the start of this trip. Rainbow quickly turned, her back legs towards the two unicorns and the advancing deputy.
"Take another step and I start breaking jaws!" she threatened, ready to buck until her legs gave out.
"Rainbow!" a voice she didn't expect called from behind the iron bars, "We don't need ta hurt anypony, just calm down."
She cast a confused glare toward his cell, "What?! This is the last chance we've got Mac! We have to kick their flanks now before they sell our cattle!"
Macintosh ran toward the corner of the cell closest to Dash, but out of whisper range of the sheriffs or the deputy, who had wisely kept their distance.
"Rainbow, Ah'm gonna need ya ta trust me on this. Let them arrest you."
"No way!" she whispered back sharply. "What possible good would both of us being in jail do anypony?"
"Ah just need you to trust me," he whispered urgently, "Do you?"
He had already saved her life more than once, and carried her across the desert on his back. Dash couldn't think of a reason not to, but still had no idea how trusting Mac to let herself be arrested could possibly have a positive outcome for the two of them.
"... Fine."
Rainbow released her fighting stance and turned to face the sheriffs. The deputy opened the jail cell and Dash stepped inside as Mac rose to leave, determined to find a way to bail out his partner and get the money for the cattle. As he neared the door, unicorn magic slammed it closed, nearly catching Mac right in the nose.
"Hey! My bail's been paid!" Big Mac protested, a hoof over his slightly grazed muzzle.
"Oh, I believe the paperwork for that won't go through until tomorrow! The deputies get a reprieve from all the red tape when the auction is in town. Better for morale. Besides, we can't have too many officers on the streets, lest something terrible happen to someponies herd of cattle." The two brothers shared a moment of laughter before turning to leave.
“Sheriffs!”
Flim turned, barely able to mask his annoyance. “What is it? Can’t you see we’re sharing a joke?”
“Sorry,” the new officer said, panting from his run across town. “But another sum of money’s gone missing from the town treasury.”
“Another one?” Flam gasped. “But I thought we ran the thief out of town last week!”
“Perhaps there’s more than one,” Flim replied grimly. “Not to worry, Flam and I will personally investigate the missing bits. We can’t have more of the town’s money vanishing, now can we?”
“In any case, I’m afraid it must wait brother of mine,” Flam finished. “The auction is starting soon. We will look into the matter later. Fair?”
The officer saluted crisply. “Yes sirs!”
“Now go,” Flim said. “We have an auction to get to.”
He winked at Rainbow, who was fighting her every instinct to try and plant a hoof straight in the middle of his face from behind the bars. “You two have fun.”
The two of them laughed all the way out of the building as the large deputy sat in a chair outside their cell, half of his attention seemed to be on them, while the other half was intent on napping.
"Well?" Dash spat, sitting heavily on the cell’s single cot and folding her forelegs.
"Well what?"
"I trusted you to let them arrest me, and here we are!" she snapped, gesturing at her dingy surroundings.
"Eeyup."
Rainbow stared blankly at him, the disbelief crawling over her face not lost in Mac's peripheral vision. After a few tense moments, Dash spoke up again.
"Well are you gonna do something or what?" she snapped impatiently.
"Eeyup," he nodded, motioning to their guard, nearly asleep at his post. Rainbow realized they would have to wait for him to fall asleep before attempting any escape. A gentle and distant rumble from a loudspeaker heralded the start of the auction, filling both with a sense of urgency. Mac couldn't afford to wait any longer to implement his plan.
He stepped toward the back wall and stood on his hind legs, tapping each brick with his hoof and listening intently to the sound they made.
Rainbow laid down on the bed, tucking her legs neatly beneath her as she set her head down, lazily watching Mac do whatever it was he was doing.
"We aren't gonna get the cattle back, are we?" she asked, her eyelids growing heavy.
"Not with that attitude, we ain't," he replied, having made it about a quarter of the way down the small cell's back wall, still gently tapping on each brick.
"Listen, I'm not usually the one to say this, but I don't see how we'll be heading back to your farm with anything but our tails between our legs."
Mac stopped his tapping and settled back onto all fours, his turn to shoot her a confused stare.
"You're just gonna give up, are ya?" he asked, a berating edge to his words. "That don't sound like the Rainbow Ah thought Ah had brought with me."
Dash scoffed, "You barely even knew me before this, now you think you know me like AJ does or something?"
"Ah didn't have ta know you personally ta know of you. Applejack talks about ya, and Applebloom's little friend... what's her name, the orange one?"
"Scootaloo." Dash answered quickly. Though she rarely showed it, she loved her fan club's president more than she would ever admit. Even on her worst days, Scoots would always be there to offer words of encouragement and unending praise, be it warranted or not.
"Right, like Ah was sayin', Ah get more than enough hearsay 'bout you ta know that you rollin' over ain't somethin' you're likely ta do."
He had gone back to tapping on the brick halfway through his sentence in an effort to speed his plan along.
"Yeah well... it's not like I don't want you guys to keep your farm, I just... don't see a way for us to do that."
"That's why you need to trust me when Ah say Ah've got a way ta get everything we need, and a ticket out of this crooked town," he added, his continued tapping finally coming to a stop about three-fourths of the way down the wall, just above the end of the cot Rainbow laid on.
"What is it, then?" she asked, her head perking up from atop her forelegs.
"Bust out of here, confront Flim and Flam, get either our cattle, or our money; whichever that happen ta have, and then high tail it outta here and never return," he explained, turning toward her with a small, prideful smile across his face.
"Thats a pretty good idea, but won't the cops be after us pretty much the entire time if we break out of here?" she asked, stretching out her legs and wings while rolling onto her back. "And how are just me and you supposed to confront those two jerks? They've got the law on their side, and they're the criminals!"
"Ah... well..." he had only come up with a rough draft of the plan, but it was still better than nothing.
"We'd need a way to prove to these ponies that Flim and Flam have no business being the law of their town."
The holes Rainbow had punched in his plan began to drain his enthusiasm as well. "Ah hadn't really thought about that. How could we prove they're up to no good?"
Rainbow rolled onto her side, once again resting her head on her forelegs in thought. "That's the million bit question."
Mac sighed, "Ah'll bet it was those Flim Flam brothers who made th' offer on that piece of th' farm Ah'll have ta sell if we can't figure this out."
Suddenly, Rainbow had an idea. It was a long shot, but if it worked, everything would be right with the world again, and Mac and herself would come out of this whole ordeal smelling like guest room soap.
"What if it was?" she asked, rolling back over onto her belly.
"Ah wouldn't be surprised." Mac answered.
"They said they had to get out of the cider business and fire their songwriter or whatever after we whooped them in Ponyville, right?"
"Eeyup. So?"
"So, it means that if they're so broke, where are they getting the money to put an offer on your farm?"
Mac blinked as he processed the reasonable points Rainbow had brought up.
"So you think they're lying about having th' money ta buy the farm?"
Rainbow drug her hoof down her face in annoyance. He may have been smart when it came to the outdoors, but he could use a lesson or two from Twilight on how to devise a plan.
"No, they have the money, the question is, where did they get it from?"
An expression of understanding donned over Mac as he realized where she was going with her idea.
"So you think they're gonna use the towns money ta buy a part of our farm?"
"Bingo."
The more he thought about it, the more sense it made. Rainbow’s plan began to look more and more promising.
"That's right, the cattle wouldn't be worth the land by a long shot, they'd need ta get extra money from somewhere," he reasoned, putting a hoof to his chin in thought.
A bell ringing echoed through the town, signaling the sale of the first herd of livestock as Mac and Rainbow prayed the Flim Flam brothers weren't the first to the auction block.
"Alright, we ain't got no more time ta waste," Mac said sternly, positioning himself in front of the wall's weakest point, ready to buck right through it.
"That's how you're getting us out of here?" Rainbow asked cautiously.
"Eeyup, you got a better idea?"
Dash opened her mouth to speak, but found she didn't have a better plan either. "No, but don't you think you kicking down a wall would wake him up?" she added, motioning toward their guard.
He was the one small problem they hadn't accounted for. Though the guard outside their cell was asleep, he would certainly sound whatever primitive alarm system they had in this place, should he wake up.
"We'll have ta make sure he doesn't give our escape away," Mac agreed, but was unsure as to how.
"I got it," Rainbow smiled confidently, "I'll get him near the bars, and you get the rope from his vest and tie him up."
Mac raised an eyebrow, "How're you gonna get him near us?"
Dash smiled. It looked like she'd get a second chance to flex her feminine muscle this trip, and not just to fluster Mac. "You leave that to me."
Rainbow took a few steps back opposite Mac and took a deep breath.
"Ready?" she whispered. Mac nodded.
"How could you, with her?!" she shouted, startling Mac a bit before he caught on to what she was playing at.
"Ah... Uhm, i-it's not mah fault she knows how ta please a stallion and you don't!" he shot back, the guard now fully awake and watching from a distance in amusement.
A quick glance over her shoulder let Rainbow know the guard was paying attention. "Oh yeah, you're one to talk! I faked every one of my—"
"Rainbow!" Mac interrupted having grown quite red from the argument, even though none of it were true.
"Well it's true!" she said striding over to him and skidding to a halt in front of him, "I hope you and that hussy are happy together!" Dash snapped, sealing her commitment to the bit with a firm slap across Mac's face, leaving a red hoof print on his cheek.
"Sorry!" she whispered with a wink before putting her angry face back on. Rainbow stormed off into the corner of the cell closest to the guard as Mac sat on the ground with his hoof to his still stinging face.
"Fine, wake me when you're done being a typical mare," he spat, climbing onto the cot and facing the wall, pretending to go to sleep.
They both huffed at each other before Rainbow's part in the play began in earnest. She had curled herself up in the corner, putting on her best 'filly in distress' face. Needing to speed things along, she began to sob, hoping to coerce a reaction out of the deputy guarding them.
"Sounds like you're in need of a real stallion, little miss."
Rainbow smiled to herself before calling on her most flawless impression of Rarity.
"Yeah...better than him," she added dramatically, getting to her hooves and turning to face the guard. The few tears she had managed to force out had stayed stubbornly around her eyes as she flashed her most adorable expression.
"Well look no further. Soon as you get outta there, I can show ya how much fun a young lady like yourself could have 'round these parts," he said, standing from his chair and stepping towards the bars, where Rainbow waited.
"Sounds like a good time," she smiled seductively, biting her bottom lip ever so slightly while looking the stallion up and down.
"Trust me darlin', it is when you're with me." He grinned back.
Rainbow giggled innocently, "Anything else you want to... show me?"
Mac opened one eye and cast it towards the cell door, where Rainbow was busy distracting the guard. He waited for the proper time to strike... though they hadn't agreed on what would constitute the 'proper time' to attack a prison guard. As he watched Rainbow raise up onto her hind legs, drawing the guard closer to the bars, Mac felt an unfamiliar fire ignite inside him. Try as he might, he just couldn't put a hoof on the feeling. It took a few more moments of Dash giggling like a school filly for him to realize he was jealous! Of the prison guard who was about to be tied up in the next few seconds.
No, Ah'm not jealous. Ah just want ta get the cattle back. Sure, Ah guess Rainbow wasn't as useless as Ah thought she was at first, but that don't mean that-
Mac's head shot up off the cot as he realized Rainbow was now kissing their guard, casting a nervous eye back at him, pleading with him to take action. Just before he rose from the cot, she detected a look of... anger? Disgust? She couldn't quite place it but something was upsetting Mac. Suddenly, Dash put two and two together, realizing why he seemed so upset. An arrogant grin spread across her at work lips, but only for a moment.
The small brushfire in Mac's chest escalated to a full-on firestorm as he quickly but silently strode off the cot. In one swift motion, he put the stallion in a sleeper-hold, since he had foolishly stuck his head through the bars to kiss Rainbow.
She ripped her lips from his and wiped them furiously as she coughed and gagged. In a few moments, Mac had put the guard to sleep.
"Ack!" Rainbow spat, "His breath was terrible! It's like he was eating an onion filled with garlic for lunch!" she complained as Mac tied the guard with his own ropes to the bars.
"Don't pretend like you didn't enjoy it," Mac added, a familiar grin across his lips, easily hiding the surprising jealousy he had been feeling.
"I definitely did NOT—"
Rainbow cut herself off as realized this was yet another one of his ill-timed jokes.
"Very funny," she mumbled, rolling her eyes as Macintosh positioned himself at the back of their cell wall. The stallion took a slow breath, focusing his strength, and then kicked the wall as hard as he could. The brick and mortar wall came crumbling down, letting sunlight stream into the room.
"Mac!" Rainbow shouted over the crumbling bricks. "He had the keys on him!"
Macintosh looked at the hole he made, and then back to the guards vest, where a large keyring sat affixed to his garment. Wondering how he didn't see those before, he made a reasonable assessment of the situation. "My way was quicker."
Rainbow rolled her eyes again and unlocked the cell door, having been filled with a rush of adrenaline not unlike pulling off the perfect stunt at the perfect time. She prayed she wouldn't make a hobby of breaking out of prisons as she trotted quickly down the hallway where their gear waited for them. Dash soon re-appeared with the gear and they both made their escape back into the shuffle of Prairieville.
"Well, Ah figure it'll be at least an hour or so before either the guard wakes up, or the other deputies find the big hole in the wall," Mac said as they walked down the busy street, blending into the other ponies milling about.
"And the auction has already started!" Dash added.
"We don't have much time. We're gonna have ta split up if we want ta get the bits, and run Flim and Flam outta town."
Rainbow knew this was the best idea, though was reluctant to leave Mac by himself to potentially fight the entire sheriffs department of Prairieville.
"You're right, I'll take care of ruining the con-artists, you take care of the bits."
Mac nodded, "Sounds good. Ah'll meet you back here in..." Mac cast a quick glance to the sun to gauge the time. "Five hours. If Ah ain't back in jail."
Rainbow smiled, thinking back to what she had seen earlier back in the lockup. Mac was jealous, she just knew it! She also knew that he was about as likely to admit it as she was to admit to the daydreams she was having in the hospital that morning. Mac turned to head in the opposite direction before Dash called back to him.
She had trotted quickly behind him, as soon as he turned to acknowledge her, he felt a weight settle on his yoke, Dash having put her forelegs on his only article of clothing to bring her head to his level. The wonderful sensation of soft lips pressed against his cheek, nearly caused him to recoil awkwardly. Realizing what was going on, he froze. This wasn't a new experience for him by a long shot, but to have something he viewed as so personal, such a private moment thrust upon him, and in public no less! He responded the only way he knew how. Stoic silence, and furious blushing.
Dash felt the heat rise in his cheeks as she pulled away, holding back laughter at his reaction.
Who'd have thought such a big, tough stallion would get all mushy over that! Sometimes it's too easy being this hot.
"Sorry for hitting you so hard back there," she whispered to him, settling back on all fours and taking in his still flushed form, "Good luck, Big."
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Yes. Just yes, take all my interwebs. Can't wait for the next chapter! :D
You need an interwebs planet. To hold all the interwebs I'm about to give you.
BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEGHING INTERWEBS ON YOUR FACE
There you go.
The interwebs from me are for convincing me that MacDash is a good ship. I prefer AppleDash, but oh well
LOVE LOVE LOVE HELL YES LOVE
All my money, all my interwebs, just take them.
This chapter was worth the wait. Great story so far. One of my favorites for sure.
Yay they're out and the ending just made me think:
YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES
GOD YES!!!!!
Awesome awesome awesome chapter loved everything
mac being jealous
and that ending
just something else to say
lusipurr.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/Futurama-Phillip-J.-Fry-Shut-Up-and-Take-My-Money.jpg
I say my good sir please keep it up and bring us more
I almost hate reading these. Now i have to wait MORE for another chapter! Bravo though. This is becoming one of my favorite (if not my favorite) long fics.
Great chapter man, great chapter. This entire thing is turning into a favorite of mine. And I usually don't like shipping fics either.
Come on...don't keep us waiting! MMMMOOOOOOAAAARRRR!!!
Thank you! I've been looking forward to this update! Now I'm extremely excited for the next chapter. So looking forward to seeing how they expose Flim and Flam. I imagine it's going to be like in the western movies...I've watched a lot of westerns. I practically grew up watching them.
static.fjcdn.com/pictures/Me_f0e7a8_2996099.jpg
Big Mac VS Prairieville Sheriff Dept.
PLACE YER BETS!
I am going to be so up set when this story is over. are you happy? you made a story I like so much that I might have to hit some the guy next door! all because you have to finishes this fantastic story
u make pinkie smile
You sir need to be arrested yourself...
For stealing all these people's interwebz!!
Excellent work by the way.
Congratulations. You're the first person to make a shipping pair that I accept, other than FlutterMac.
Damn you, Flim and Flam!
Wow, you can write!
Also, make sure Flim and Flam gets what comming to them!
That was so sweet and awesome. A
for 
after a jailbreak.
So awesome. Please write more, I just love this story.
Awesome, update! I have waited long for this day...
Great chapter, as always. I laughed at the classic "girl distracts prison guard," and it worked perfectly to make Big Mac show that he likes Rainbow. Next chapter should be epic.
326131
Well...if Rambo could take down a whole Sheriffs department, a National Guard regiment and destroy a good percentage of a town in Washington, then Mac and Rainbow should have no problem taking down some crooked cops in Bastardville, Equestria.
They're both in character, the relationship developed naturally and believably. Damn B.M., you should be working at the docks, cause you built the perfect ship
Oh Dash, you can be such a tease.
Also, can't blame the Jail Guard in the slightest. Better ponies than he would have been equally taken in by such charms. 
It's time to kick some serious flank.
Glurble, now I have to wait again for th next part! This story is just too awesome. I can't wait for RD and Mac to kick Flim and Flam's toushies.
And this ship is being brilliantly mastered.
ARE YOU SERIOUS!!!!! You ended it a perfect point. Please hurry and write the next chapter.
KEEP WRITING
DO EET NOW
Oh, and have a dash about to do....something
"Sometimes it's too easy being this hot."
You've created a monster!
I'm just going to pop in and say I expect nothing less than this to happen to Flim and Flam:
images.wikia.com/nintendo/en/images/d/d9/FalconPunch.jpg
Very nice. Keep up the good work. We need more.
very nice another excellent chapter looking forward to more
I officially love this story.
In the words of Rainbow Dash, it is "so awesome!" /)^3^(\
I love this story because
1. Rainbow dash is in it
2. She isn't a total jerk. Well, she is a jerk, but helpful and dang she knows how to use her feminine charm like moping else
3. I love this sexual renting building up. Don't disappoint on part 10 ^.^
>Can afford cloud castle
>Cant afford to replace 7 or 8 windows.
lol wut
but seriously, good job. I can't wait to read the rest.
Worth the wait.
327974
I think it's reasonable to believe that she built that house all by herself. Or inherited it or something.
Now, I loved this chapter. As others have said, Dash distracting the guard was a good way to get Mac to realize his own feelings. The comedy between these two just write themselves. Hell, these two make for all kinds of good adventure fics together.
I should look into that...
Hmm. Those cattle auctions usually have speakers set up all over to insure the attendants can clearly hear the auctioneer, and I'm betting a good portion of the towns population will be at said auction. I've got a pretty good idea how Rainbow's going to reveal Flim and Flam's scheme to the masses.
Well it was just a kiss on the cheek but I'll take it
Jeeze Rainbow Dash have some decency. I mean, kissing! In Public!? How scandalous.
So awesome!
327974 well maybe the castle is what her mom and dad left for her before they left Cloudsdale or before they died(hope not) in their will but left her without money which may explain why she couldn't afford windows
Just finished reading up to this point, and thought I'd let you know, I made an account JUST to comment that I love this story so far! I read quite a few fics, and normally don't give too many ship fics a chance, but this sounded interesting. I am happy to say that you have given me one of the few ship fics I've thoroughly enjoyed (I LOVED "Kindness's Reward" by AVery Strange).
I'll still use this account though... writing a story right now, and I suppose this is going to be one of the best places to post it.
Love it! Can't wait for more
Flim and Flam need to meet cupcake Pinkie. Some of you might say that nopony deserves to suffer that much, but i dont care. THEY NEED TO BURN IN PONY HELL FOR THE REST OF ETERNITY! I'LL PUT THEIR SORRY FLANKS IN THERE MYSELF!!!!!!
Also, if Big Mac were strong enough to buck down a stone wall, he would show up at my house and smash my face into the keybo-jhtfgbdfrgvdbuygrdxcuig7iysrycg7uzixrhfygvuincfbuhjgnvuyuydvcgbvuixdg BIG MAC WHAT THE FU-cfghvuykxchncgu fhmnyucgjbkyhnyikgybfhigbnvhifvbdfiugkhxyichuygvhixcjhuyxhmnxicxhvixgndfjixbnxkivnghnvchk
Eeyup- Big Macintosh
How many chapters are in total?
326047>>326240>>326354>>326596>>326658>>327986 Thanks very much all! Your words of encouragement mean alot to me!
327657 Yes, even though she's a tomboy, that doesn't mean she can't use her charms! There isn't going to be any sex, but their relationship will continue to grow.
328127 I'm considering making a sequel to this about their actual relationship back in ponyville, though thats just in the planning stages right now.
328507 This fic isn't over yet!
329439 I know! Has she no shame?!
330561 Really? Wow, glad I inspired you to join this silly site of ponydom!
334353 Dunno yet, but probably no more than 13.
337650
You said you'd think about making a sequel about their relationship in Ponyville? I have a feeling that could be HILARIOUS. Please do sir! Please do. But only if you want to of course.
337650 Well yes I am just surprised usually people make Rainbow out to be a lesbian and that pisses me off :/
337733 Does that mean there will be some lip action?
is there gonna be anymore?