Alternate Ending
At Home on the Range: Alternate ending.
"Even after all that, he still wasn't sure you were into him?" the young mare asked.
Rainbow smiled gently from across the dinner table. Her daughter and son had brought the kids over for a visit with their grandma. She hated that title. It never suited her, even though she had slowed down considerably since her youth. The quiet in the den suggested the little ones had worn themselves out, though it was well into Luna's realm.
"Yeah, your father was never good a taking hints."
A handsome pegasus stallion sipped from his mug across from his sister. Ordinarily, a visit from her children was a joyous occasion. Especially since they lived so far away from her in New Neighas. This one however, was to mark an occasion they'd all like to forget.
Three years ago today, their father, the honorable and honest Big Macintosh was felled by his heart. He was a big stallion, bigger than most. A big body requires a strong, big heart. A fact which eventually caught up with him. She had only recalled the story of their first real kiss at the request of her children. Not so much to hear a sappy romance story about their parents, but to know the strange circumstances behind their folks meeting. They had always heard about it, but nopony seemed to have time to sit down and tell the whole thing.
"You know," her son began. "Sometimes I try to imagine what dad would say about some of the stuff going on in the world."
"Probably nothing," Rainbow chuckled, "Just a nod."
"Yeah," he agreed. "I wish he could have held on to meet his grandfoals..."
A comforting hoof reached from his side, "Me too. He'd have loved them," his sister reassured.
Rainbow nodded, adding to her sentiment.
A brief silence entered the dimly lit kitchen before Rainbow decided it was past her bedtime. Sometimes she wondered what the young, cocky pegasus she had been would think of her now, if she knew she had to suffer the indignity of a 'bedtime'. A self imposed indignity, though it may have been. Without a solid eight hours, she was slow to wake up, and her wings always ached in the morning unless she stretched them thoroughly. A job she was increasingly reluctant to do each day.
"Thanks for bringing the foals by, I'm always happy to see them," she said, getting up from her chair. "But I think it's time I turned in," she yawned.
"You're right, the foals should have been in bed hours ago," her daughter added, catching her mother's yawn.
Rainbow put their coffee cups in the sink and began rinsing them out one by one. Again, she found herself wondering how her younger self would react if she could know she would fall into the same cleaning habits as her egghead friend, Twilight.
"Bye mom! Love you!" her children said as they quietly loaded themselves into the waiting taxi, Rainbow watching as it disappeared down the dark dirt road on which she and Mac raised their filly and colt.
Rainbow turned back to her house. It was dark, save for a candle still burning in the living room and in the kitchen, it's light casting dancing shadows around the room as she closed the door. Her house had been so full of life once. So many parties thrown, so many birthdays and anniversaries celebrated. Even though three years had passed, it still seemed as though any moment now, Mac would poke his head out from behind the hallway to their bedroom and ask if the kids had been put to bed yet. After the foals were asleep, he would always make time for her.
Whatever she wanted to do for the hour or so a day they could get alone, she could do with him, be it a corny movie, a dumb game, or just time for him to hold her after an exhausting day. If there was anything she missed, it was his touch. So strong and commanding, but soft and yielding when it came to her. She walked out of the kitchen and into the doorway between there and the living room.
She cast a glance back at the dinner table, seeing the adult ponies she had just talked with as foals again, celebrating their first birthday, cake smeared on their faces. All of her old friends came, and even a few Wonderbolts! The scene before her was perfect, even if it only existed within the confines of her memory. The kids were born a year apart, almost to the day, so to save time they had both parties on the same day.
Mac held the youngest in his lap while the oldest sat in the high chair in front of a special cake, curtesy of the Cakes.
"Take a big breath, and blow out the candles!" she could hear Mac's happy voice echo through the room as though he were there.
As soon as her son blew out the candles, the entire memory curled into thin air, like so much smoke from extinguished flames.
She turned to the living room, recalling even more from her tired mind. First steps, first flutter, first buck, she remembered it all, as though the memories were painted on the walls themselves. She sighed as she wiped a tear away from her eye. It sure was hard outliving the one pony you made a commitment to spend the rest of your life with. She wasn't even that old! She had always felt Mac had been taken from her before his time.
Still, a heart condition was nothing that could have been prevented, something he was quick to remind her of when they first found out. He made her promise she wouldn't treat him any differently than she had before, and to enjoy every second they had together. It was only after he was gone did she truly realize how precious the time she spent with him had been to her.
Dash took the candle in her mouth and guided herself down her hallway to the bedroom that was meant for two. The hallway leading to her room was lined with the pictures of her friends and family, as well as Mac's. Their faces had once brought her such joy, but now...they seemed to ignite a longing in her heart for days gone by. Days when she could still take to the sky on a whim and smash the sound barrier like it was made to be broken.
She pushed the door to her bedroom open softly, the creaking door letting the light from the candle cast long shadows on the room.
More photos, revealing a happier time hung near her bed, but one particular image, she always kept closest to her. Resting on her nightstand, was a picture of Macintosh, looking dapper in his fathers ill fitting suit and top hat, while she hung her forelegs over his shoulders, giving him a kiss on the cheek from behind, rice still in her mane, her veil still partly on. The day she settled down with him had been one of the happiest days of her life. That photo, along with one other item brought her more comfort than anything else she owned.
She closed the door and laid gently on her bed, slowly pulling the covers over herself. This had become a semi nightly ritual for her, and as embarrassing as it would be for others to know, she honestly didn't care. Dash pulled open the drawer to her nightstand, and pulled out an old, raggedy looking doll with blue and white polka dotted overalls and button eyes. She should have given it back to Twilight. Heck, Mac should have given it back to Twilight, but for whatever reason, they held onto it. There was a good reason for it, however. Somehow, even after three years, it still carried Mac's scent. Rainbow didn't dare wash it, but it wasn't like it ever got dirty. The next part of her ritual was by far the most unflattering, and the part most certain to upset young and confident Rainbow, if she could have ever known.
Dash grabbed the extra pillow from beside her, and gently hugged it close, while keeping the doll against her cheek. She was a grown mare, an adult! This kind of behavior was embarrassing, but comforting. She and Mac used to always sleep this way, but on some nights, when she missed him more than she thought she could stand, she began taking shelter in her imagination. If she could just pretend Mac was right beside her, where he belonged, maybe, for a brief few seconds, she would believe Mac would roll over to greet her. His blond mane shaggily hanging into his eyes as he smiled at her, knowing Rainbow would practically beg him for five more minutes of sleep.
But every morning for the past three years, she was proven wrong, time and again.
She rubbed her head into the soft down of the pillow, warming it with her motion, and feeling the tears begin to well in her eye. A quick inhale, and she was surrounded by him again. His strong back shifting gently under her embrace as she wished for nothing more than to have him back, just for a night.
She knew this stupid pillow and dumb old doll were a poor substitute for the stallion she loved. Tears were streaming down her face as she buried it into her pillow. Crying yourself to sleep. What would Mac think? she thought in disgust.
Dash knew he was gone, she knew no amount of wanting, or wishing, or praying could bring him back to her. He lay peacefully on his family farm, near his sister and her family. In the darkness, she looked through her blurry eyes at their wedding picture. She couldn't take comfort in much, and knew even less about the theories of life after death. Something she knew brought her comfort was the hope that one day, she would be able to see him again. Perhaps one day soon this restless flyer would find her way back into the strong, red forelegs of the stallion she loved.
One day.
Honestly, not as sad as I thought. Oh well, this was how I was going to end it, have the whole story be a recap of events being narrated by Rainbow in reflection on the 3 year anniversary of Mac's passing. This obviously contradicts Breaking Barriers, because Mac gives Smarty Pants back to Twilight. Anyway, I hope you guys liked it.
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I'm...having...teary eyed feelings.
Just...take all of my tears. Take them ALL.
Mother of Celestia. Thank you.
Great alternate ending. Loved the story and what I have read of Breaking Barriers.
A small error:
rice still in her mane as her veil still partly on.
I think that was supposed to be "and".
Love love love
ALL MY FEELS
Anyways,.bravo on a very well written epilogue to an equally well written story. While I personally found the first ending to be sufficient, this one actually added a lot of depth to the story and was beautiful in an almost saddening way. My only complaint was that it kind of broke up the feel of the story as a whole: It went from action-ey to sad and reflective a little too quickly for my taste. Either way, The entire story was brilliant and I look forward to reading more of your work in the future.
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All my tears friend ALL OF THEM OH GOD
Really awesome ending, in this chapter i was waiting some kind of Titaninc ending with she seing Mac Again, but this right here is excellent.
Awesome job as always Bronius
If I could cry, I would. This is like My Little Dashie for MacinDash fans.
There's.... something in my eye... sorry....
Not as sad as I thought! are you nuts this was sad... I am still crying as I type this.
Claps claps claps claps. thank you again for writing this for all of us to enjoy
Damn.
Just damn.
Now I feel depressed. Great extra chapter to a great story, but frankly, I bloody hate this kind of thing. First of all because I hate reading about great characters dying, and second of all because it just leaves me feeling saddened, both because it is a sad story and because it reminds me how much of a heartless bastard I really am.
Great extra, even though I hate sad stuff.
well I guess im starting off my birthday with a surprise from one of the better stories ive read, and one hell of a manly tear. I wouldnt have wanted it to end any other way, except for mac maybe not dying so damn soon but hey, big mac does as big mac must
Still pretty sad. Buck.
"One day..."
WHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?
THE TEARS! THEY'RE BACK!
-DELTA-
Yup. that about sums it up.
I cried, which is something very very very few fics can make me do.
Buck.
My feels... they ae spilling all over the place!
Why do we need an alternate ending ?
Just asking .
This is so sad-happy, I guess it is the end of yet another tale.
If you don't consider that to be sad, I shudder to think what it would take to make you feel that particular emotion. Buck.....I can't even claim that those were manly tears.....
Damn, my brain is trying to work out what the emotions flooding it are saying!!
I know it contradicts Breaking Barriers, but to me it says that the bonds we
make with those we love remain strong even after death. Also, on the Smarty Pants
issue, I think that if Twilight ever found out, and knew the reason Dash was keeping her,
she wouldn't want it back, as it means more to Dash now.
Honestly, not really that sad at all
Anyway, I'm glad this isn't the actual ending
didn't even know you were gonna write an alternate ending. I loved it and i cried... just... beautiful!
Incredibly touching.
Nice Alt ending. Manly tears were shed.
796222 didn't need and alternate ending. This is how the fic would have ended had I not decided to write a sequel.
795676 My pre-reader told me not to release it for this reason, but I had it written, and it was pretty much just sitting there, unpublished. Mocking me. I suppose it's a good thing I didn't actually end it this way, as it is quite a jarring ending from the overall light-heartedness of the story. But, thats why its an Alternate ending!
Wow, very touching. Sad, but at the same time not since they appear to have had a reasonably long life together, enough time to have adult or almost adult children by the time Mac died.
All of my tears...
Many manly tears were shed.
This chapter plus this song may kill you.
You arent allowed to do this to me!!!
all of these feels...
This is a very sweet chapter. You were able to mark the evolution of Rainbow's personality over time in just over a thousand words, which is by no stretch an easy feat. Rainbow's reactions and memories are very in-character, given the circumstances you outline for us, and you convey her emotions without drowning us in description--I was especially impressed by the bit with the Smarty Pants doll.
While I'm glad that you decided to take their story in another direction in the sequel, I have to disagree with your prereaders; had you decided to pursue this angle, this would make a fitting end to At Home on the Range, and not just because I reject the idea that every story in this fandom has to end in sunshine and rainbows. Mac and Dash clearly had a lot of time together even in spite of his condition, so if you wanted to, you wanted to, you could have taken the narrative in that direction instead.
797337 Thanks! I was originally going to end it this way, but I was convinced to write the sequel, so I made it an alternate. However, the sequel still doesn't have an ending, so I'll have to think of something great to tie it up. But I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. I agree, all fics shouldn't have an ending where everything works out for everyone, sometimes sadness has a way more lasting impact on readers than happiness.
797402 They don't have to have one, although in some cases a downer ending just doesn't fit. Eat at Pony Joe's would've bombed if, say, Twilight choked on a donut in the middle of the eat-off. Since you've already done sad here, it frees you up to explore how things would play out differently in the "official" sequel.
I'm not saying don't try for sad in the sequel--just bear in mind that you've already done it once, and repetition diminishes impact.
</editor mode>
por que tuve que leer esto?, hoy era un dia hermoso, tranquilo y sin trabajo, feliz en si mismo y tuve que leer esto realmente triste
Aun asi maravillosa pieza
798071 Mis disculpas por traer tristeza en su día, pero tuve que publicar este final alternativo, ya lo tenía escrito. Lo qué suele escribir historias tristes, así que esto fue tipo de diversión!
Looking back on a life you can never relive must be hard. It also must be hard to be the last one alive. Giving up flying would be terrible. Not being able to do a sport when I get older scares me. This ending was bittersweet, because even though Dash had a happy life, nothing lasts forever.
dang it... wasn't planning on crying today.
798118>>798071
¿Ambos en realidad hablan español, o se acaba de jugar con nuestras mentes?
Bronius Maximus, esto es más un epílogo de un final alternativo.
799028 Mentes son un divertido lo que hay que meterse con! Sí, parecía más como un triste epílogo de un final, pero fue la forma en que hubiera terminado, había escrito no una secuela.
799145
Usted lo hace sonar como un epílogo es exactamente igual que una secuela, a pesar de que no lo es.
Eu também falam uma terceira língua.
ok at the end you said not so sad as you tought
well this is me right now
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And now I'm tearing up. Good job.
I thought it was quite sad.
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This was so good! And so sad!
Glad this wasn't the official ending, because it reeks of 'me too!' angst / depression so many pony stories shove in for no apparent reason other than to tug at readers' heart strings. No offense, but this ending doesn't fit the emotional tone of the larger story at all. You can have a sad ending, but everything needs to be set up... it can't just be sad for sad's sake.
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801205 Angst: A feeling of deep anxiety or dread, typically an unfocused one about the human condition or the state of the world in general.
There wasn't any angst in this, the purpose of this was to show how Rainbow had changed from her brash younger self to a grandmother who had to keep on living without the stallion she loved. That'd be more sadness than anything. Also, its an alternate ending because it's such a jarring shift in tone.
Thanks for reading it!