• Published 22nd Aug 2012
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Pony POV Series Season Five: Mind Games - Alex Warlorn



Discord, beaten.World, saved.But emotionally damaged Diamond Tiara hears Discord's voice and listen

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Episode 58: "Mind Games Part 3"

My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic
POV Series Mind Games Part 3

"My dear can you hear me?"

"Huh, what?" I looked up at Fancy Pants, I was still in the dining room, I was still in my chair. The unicorn looked at me in concern.

"I think you might need a doctor. You went completely catatonic."

"N-no! I'm fine! I was just remembering some things."

"... Then those were very powerful memories. You were crying. What was it you were remembering?"

"How, I'm like my mom."

"How are you like her?"

"That I'm gonna get sick too no matter what."

"I seriously doubt that my dear." He said kindly with odd mix of sternness. When had I felt this before? "Bloodlines don't determine a pony. Princess Celestia would never give that destiny to any pony."

I actually heard the voice growl. It sounded, jealous?

'Will you stop that already MY little pony? You might as well give him your real name, address, and tie yourself up while you're at it! Can't you see already? He says he's 'the most important pony in Canterlot' which means he knows how to play the game! You're hoofing him information without a first thought, let alone a second! The longer your stay here, the more any secrets you have left are going to be laid open without you even seeing you gave him the combination to the safe! You need to get out of here! Or everything will have been for nothing!'

"Can I use the little fillies' room?"

I think I heard the voice actually smack itself in the face.

"Alright. Down the hall, second door on the left."

I nodded and hurried along. As good luck would have it, the bathroom did have a window. On the second floor. With bars on the window.

Okay. No problem. Mom's gotten out of that place lots of times and that place was built to keep her inside! Then rebuilt to make sure, but she still got out!

How did mom do it? Oh right. She moved her bones about. How did she do that?

'Please don't try my dear. I'd rather you not pass out from the pain. They'd find you and in the hospital your father would find you before you know it.'

But I had to try something! This was gonna be the one real chance I'd have to be alone. And the voice was right, there was no telling if they'd let me go now. If I was to get away it had to be now! I didn't hate Mr. Fancy Pants, but I had to keep going.

I don't hate Miss Fleur-De-Lys or Straight Lace either but they wouldn't understand. Mom needs me. I'm the only one who can save her. No pony else is even going to try.

I didn't want to think of having just been fed and washed for the first time in a long time, by ponies who didn't even know me. The voice said they'd be the nice but dumb ponies, but Mr. Fancy Pants wasn't stupid at all.

'Don't confuse intelligent with common sense my dear, now either hurry along or just give up and stop wasting our time.'

I obey.

I took a nail file out of the drawer and undid the screws. I was careful to try and not make too much noise. Thank goodness everyone knows fillies use the bathroom longer than colts. And thank goodness the screws for the bars were on the inside.

Okay. Now I just need to get down from the second floor. Makes me wish I had wings.

'You're an Earth Pony aren't you? Or is being made of tougher stuff than feather-dusters and narwhals just a myth to cover for you being worthless?'

No it isn't! I jumped.

And I just managed to catch the fire escape on the other side of the alley. I was sure becoming familiar with alleys.

I finally appreciated the fingers griffins and dragons had as I lost my grip. My rear legs caught the fire escape's bars as I fell backwards.

If mom can do this so can I, If mom can do this so can I, If mom can do this so can I, ifmomcandothissocanI! My heart pounding I got onto the stairway of the fire escape, and managed to climb down. On top of a dumpster, that was thankfully closed. All in all, I didn't get the dress I was wearing all that dirty. I looked back at the bathroom window. I...I promised I'd return the dress to Mr. Fancy Pants later. I... I wasn't a thief.

I quietly slipped to the street, going between adults and buildings. Ponies were glancing at me, but they weren't looking at me like I was some sort of intruder. It's so crowded.

I think Miss Cheerilee said that the Alicorns who refused to heal my mother had a really big open door policy for the immediate part of the castle I was headed for if I actually made it.

And it hit me. There was a good chance I wasn't going to be able to do this. There was a good chance I was going to fail. And just like every time, everypony would laugh at me while feeling sorry for Applebloom when she blew up somepony's house trying to bake a cake.

Mom would still be crazy. Dad would still be seeing Those Mares, Miss Rarity would still hate me, Silver Spoon would still hate me, and everypony would know I was just a bad pony. And the voice wouldn't be there anymore... Was that good or bad? I don't know anymore...

It was a few minutes later that I noticed the pegasus guards flying over head, their eyes scanning, looking, searching. They were on every street. And the castle... I looked, the castle proper was still so far away. There was no way I could make it. They were going to find me. And take me. I was going to fail, again.

'My little filly! We have come too far! I have waited too long! You have sacrificed too much! For it all to simply be cut short now! Keep to the sides of adults. Walk don't run. They might recognize the dress but we still need it. Don't draw attention to yourself. No matter what. Stay calm and keep trotting.'

I could hear my heartbeat in my ears. I was sweating. My ears turned at the slight sound of feathers above me.

"THERE SHE IS! The purple one!"

I ran like a horse possessed.

I didn't stop running. I couldn't stop running. I made a mad dash to the castle. I didn't dare look behind me. I knocked ponies over, they shouted out calling me rude, I didn't have the breath to spare to say I was sorry, or gasp at the idea of me saying sorry!

You want me to describe how grand the castle was? How beautiful everything was? How pretty everypony and everything looked? How it was like a fairytale castle out of one of my storybooks come to life? Felt like I had stepped into a dream? All I saw was an army of pegasi behind me shouting and snarling with spears and straight jackets and all I felt was my hooves beating against the hard stone until I thought I was going to crack them. All I could see was a giant gateway that was running away from me no matter how fast I ran towards it. I knew the pegasi were getting closer, and closer.

I nearly tripped and crashed inside through the front gates.

"Hey kid are you okay?" Asked one the white guards standing inside the entrance hall.

I didn't waste a breath and began running again, everything was a maze of confusion, if the voice said anything I ignored it, if I saw anything else I ignored it, I just kept running with a stitch in my side. My vision blurry I saw a door that was labeled 'Closet' something something and pushed my way inside the dark space and slid against the back of the door, hugging my sides. My lungs were burning, I could hardly breathe.

Not on that trail here. Not with those Timber Wolves I thought were going to eat me. Not when I hurt Miss Rarity. Not when I hurt Silver Spoon. Not when they took mom away. Had I felt so alone. I had no one to help me. I had no one I could trust. I didn't even know what I was really doing here. Had anypony ever felt as alone as me? I closed my eyes to get some rest.

++++

"Hey Celly," I ask looking at the sunset.

"Yeah Dissey?"

I shifted a bit on the roof we were on, "Do you think there are any more like me out there? I looked in all the books in the library, and I couldn't find anything that looked like me."

"There was that one thing that looked kinda like you with lots of different parts, I think it was called Chee-mare-ah."

"I'm not a thing," I say sadly.

"I didn't mean it that way Dissey! You're my best friend! Have ya asked yer mom about it?"

"I kinda did. She said I was just special."

Celly smiled like a sunny day, "See? All the adults say being special is a good thing."

"You can be too special," I say sullenly.

"But, that's not true."

"It's just a little lonely ya know? Being only one of a kind. You've got Lulu at least. When I was little... I... There were others in my nightmares but they... they were always mean to me. Hurt me." I didn't understand those nightmares, it was like I did something really bad, but no pony would tell me what. Before she was born I once dreamed Celly crying! But I'd never hurt Celly. And I'd like to see any jerk try. "Then they just vanish and I'm all alone..."

She put one of her wings around me and snuggled against my snaky body. She was always so warm.

"Yer not alone. And it's not really that awful being one of a kind, I think it makes ya really interesting. And I don't just have Lulu, I've got you, I've got mom, and Uncle Spike, and Posey, Galaxy, Wind Whistler, Nana Galaxia, Twilight, yer mom, Applejack, Firefly! And Surprise too, you know she loves having you around, I'd say you're two of kind. I've got all of you, and you've got all of us. We're all a family!"

I can't take it anymore and hug her back smiling, "Thanks Celly! You're my very best friend!"

++++

I startled at the surprise memory, it wasn't mine, but it didn't hit nearly as hard as-

'IGNORE IT! IGNORE IT! That was just a meaningless memory! Of someone who never existed! It has NOTHING to do with what's going on! Or what you need to do! So it's TO BE IGNORED! Because of this, that memory is not to be even thought about. AT ALL!'

The voice had sounded angry before, but this time, there was such, rage behind it.

I shuddered under the voice's thunder.

What was wrong with me? I had something juicy from the voice that it didn't want me to know, shouldn't I be using it for leverage right about now? Maybe find out who that was? But... that's not what a good puppet does.

'We sadly don't have time to waste on nonsense. Get up, get ready. There's no telling how much time we have before the Alicorns notice us and they dispose of both of us. Well, if you're lucky you'll have your mind wiped and not remember anything from the moment I first talked to you until now, and I KNOW you don't want that, do you? Your dress served its purpose but I'm afraid as lovely as you look in it my little pony it's time to switch costumes again. Don't worry, I'll make sure to give you a new outfit once you help me out as a bonus, I've already got a perfect one in mind, I'm sure you'll love it.'

I don't care about that. Me? Not care about a new dress? But, it didn't feel wrong to think.

'But for now you need to find something to look common place without being... oh, never mind. Perfect.'

I had stood up, then and fumbled for and turned on a light switch. I found a series of maid uniforms of various sizes. I felt sick to my stomach at the sight for what the voice was implying. "You've got to be kidding me."

'You don't have time to be picky filly!'

"Please, anything but this," I moaned.

'Don't be such a baby! Now hurry up! The clock is ticking! We're too close to the Alicorns for me to help you take another long nap while the heat dies down, so we have to move!'

With no small amount of regret and revulsion, I slipped out of the dress Fancy Pants had given me. I hoped I saw him again when this was all over. I... I didn't get... I didn't get to say... th-tha-I didn't get to say thank you, for being so generous to a strange filly who looked more like a dog than a pony. He reminded me of dad, before what happened with mom. He was a unicorn. One of Canterlot's oppressive elite. But, he was the nicest pony I've met here, like Miss Rarity.

'Ugh, douse the nostalgia already! I've already had enough of that to throw up in my own mind! Again!'

'Again?'

'Move it or lose it!'

I had no real clue how to put the uniform on, even if I had seen it on many mares and fillies. Black dress with a white apron, and small shoes, thankfully the filly sized ones weren't high heeled. And the mane band went on top.

My diamond tiara, it wasn't part of the maid's uniform. Somepony might notice under the mane band. I didn't take it off. It might have been a reminder of my worthless mark, but it was from my family!

Without a mirror I worked the creases out as best I could. I took a deep breath, scared out of my wits, and slipped out of the door.

"There you are you little sneak!" A heavy hoof was laid on my shoulder. I shrieked and jumped onto the ceiling on all fours and fell back down on my back.

I came face to face with a faded brown mare with a black mane in a maid uniform with an unhappy look on her face. Her cutie mark was a spiked mace and feather duster looking like the jolly roger. Bad sign. "Don't be a drama queen you lazy brat. Didn't you hear the announcement? All maid staff, and that includes juniors and trainees, are to report to the servant's war room! What's your name?"

"D-Diamond-s, that is-"

"Well, come along filly! Don't think hiding in the closet is gonna get you out of your responsibilities now." She took my ear with her teeth and began dragging me along. It was the best I could do to keep up or risk it being torn off. My head spun in confusion. Mom, was this what it was like for you?

++++

Ya wiggle yer body in, ya breathe through yer mouth, ya wiggle yer body along, ya don't think what yer feeln', ya open yer eyes only when ya need to, ya thank Princess Celestia heaven for the recent scheduled rain storm from Cloudsdale. Ya dump this memory in the waste basket and put on the air tight plastic seal, ya press yer ears against the grate listenin' for some walkin' ponies, nearby. Thinkin' of yer little princess gives ya super strength, and you shake yourself about... .And, I still smell worse than Neglected Hygiene when I have to sit next to her on bath day. Phew. And that's what it's all about.

Oh right first, get these shoulder joints back in place and, there we go! Whew. The stink is going to make me faint first before the pain. Well, no guards, no ponies looking this way when I came up. You think they'd have more security for a drainage line big enough for a crazy pony to shuffle through after dislodging her bones.

Ick. Better do something about this smell before I really do faint. No way am I going to be able to fit in looking completely crazy, wearing just a beanie, an insanity cutie mark, and smelling worse than dragon plop. I need a shower.

Hmmm. Let's see. Oh lookie! Hotels! Perfect! Just climb up the side in the alleyway like Spider-Pony. Spider-Pony, Spider-Pony, does whatever a spider does.

Alright. Let's see... hide under this ledge until the pony in the window above me has turned his back, then wall-crawl on up, next. Cute foals, gotta find mine, up we go, eating in bed? Makes me hungry. Up we go, do that with the drapes closed you two! Up we go, ah! Empty! And... drat. The window's connected to an alarm? Can't be having that.

I DO need a shower. And I can't continue to find my princess until I've done that. So therefore I am going to take a shower and I am going to find a way around this alarm.

Wait a minute. I know this alarm! I told the salespony we didn't want it after I looked it over. Let's see here. Put a little piece of plastic from my beanie between the connectors and... we have a real silent alarm, no need to alert anypony I'm here Mr. Alarm, I'll be done in a minute. Close the window, and I'll be taking my beanie part back. Reminds me a bit of home. Into the shower I go. Wow. I really needed a wash. Hope I don't stuff the drain, that'd be inconsiderate of me.

Oh-oh-oh yes. Wash all the gunk and slime away. My prince would faint if he saw me like that. So good. Not like those scrub jobs the orderlies always give. Ah. I feel like I could stay in here for a year, but duty calls. Nice and clean.

Uh-Oh. Looks like I forgot that these kinds of places charge for everything, including showers. And no pony has checked out this room. Which means they know-know-know I'm here. Which means they're coming in through the hotel room door. Nice looking stallions. Sorry boys, I'm going to need you to move. No? Okay I can move you for you, don't worry, no trouble at all. Oh, wait, have you happened to see a little filly that looks a lot like me? With a tiara on? No? In that case I'll just move you out of my way so I can find her.

I really wanted that hotel breakfast too. It was nice to rough it and do some camping on my way here, but nothing beats civilization. Oh quit your crying, it'll all heal. Here, I'll put the bones back into place for you... Huh, guess he was really tired.

Don't worry my little princess! Mommy'll find you!

You don't mind if I help myself to some complimentary snacks and sweets do you? Don't worry, here's my Pony Express card number and this is the number for my lawyer. Not much here but they'll keep me going for now. So if you'll excuse me please.

Oh, I'm naked, in Canterlot. Hmm...Well, he's got my credit number, he can bill me for his jacket. Oh look, it even has a hood! Good, it's cold up here on the mountain! Right?

Now off I go, back the way I came of course. Heheh, that jump made my legs feel silly!

Now if I can just find myself a nice dress shop, a hotel pony's jacket isn't proper wear for a mare in Canterlot after all, but it will do until I find something better. I may not be dressed for the occasion, but I can trot and talk as easy as any snob in Canterlot. Just gotta remember not everypony really appreciates a free chiropractor for some reason. I slip into the crowd without trouble. It's so crowded.

In retrospect, maybe I should have found a nice haunted fountain somewhere and washed myself there instead and eaten at a fancy restaurant and left with my card number there before they had a chance to trace it to 'escaped insane pony.' And maybe I should've borrowed that hotel pony's pants too, walking around with an insanity Cutie Mark in plain view of everypony wasn't my best idea. Maybe I'll just say I'm good with screwdrivers and playing baseball. Hindsight is twenty-twenty like they say.

"THERE SHE IS! The purple one!" And would it have saved me the trouble of having to hide from pegasus guards for breaking and entering, assault, and -I didn't steal anything!- I left my credit card number.

Sweet Celestia they're fast! I suppose I could take on an ever increasing pack of pegasi as I knock one down only for two to take his place in a heroic and bad-flank last stand. But I'm crazy, not stupid, I gallop like I've never galloped before! Too fast! And these boys are trained royal guards, I'd rather not tussle with them. Okay. Plan X. What? It's always the last thing you try that works, so you might as well start with Plan Z and work your way backwards. What is Plan A? I'll let you know when I think of it, I've only figured out to Plan S!

I see where I need to go, but these guards won't give a lady her privacy! I guess I'll just have to undress in a moment out of their view. Here ya go, you can have this jacket! It looks good on you! Oh...now they're chasing her...Looks like fun! Now where was I? Oh yeah, Plan X!

I'm so going to be paying for this later. All righty. Ya disconnect this bone connected to the hip bone, you disconnect this bone connected to the shoulder bone, you disconnect this bone connected to the neck bone, wait, better not touch that one on second thought. Fold myself up, if I try really hard I'm sure I could fit into a soup can. Really scared the hay out of an orderly one time, you'd think they'd never saw a mare hiding in a box half her size before! Took a while to get out, especially since he fainted on top of me. I take this pony-hole cover off before any of that. Here we go, underneath this balcony, fit myself right under and between the rafters.

The Day Guard almost all think I went underground, the rest start going down different streets, after apologizing to some purple unicorn they tackled thinking she was me, she probably shouldn't have worn the hood. Whew. This is not a good start. Not a good start at all. How am I going to find my little princess when I have to deal with city guards down my back? I don't have to worry too much, the power of love will prevail! After all, all fairytales end with 'happily ever after.'

The 'Red Horseshoes' and 'Godfather Death?' I don't think I read those fairytales.

They end HOW? Where are the authors? I want to have a few words with them!

They've been dead for over seven thousand years? Pst. Cowards. We're in a land of magical ponies! Since when aren't there happy endings here?

What happened the day before I was taken from my home? I can't really, remember, must not have been that important, yes, not important, at all, just another day, nothing bad happened, nothing horrible happened, just another day in our happily ever after.

+++

Huh!? Oh! You again. Don't scare me like that. Oh what's going on?

I got dragged by that big nasty maid through the castle all the way into a room full of random cleaning junk! No pony gave us a second look. There are maps on the walls of the castle and the gardens.

'Memorize those maps for your papa dear!'

'You're not my father.' I whisper back in my mind.

'I've been more of a father than that stallion has been haven't I? He won't do a thing to save your dear sweet old mama! Me? I'm giving you the chance he never did, and I'm not punishing you for being yourself, and I've certainly been more helpful haven't I? In fact, I've done nothing but teach you things that will be very useful, isn't that what a father does?

'Besides, don't we have so much in common? Why, I'd say we're family.'

I shivered. I didn't have a rebuttal.

(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): I don't wanna be mean, but a lotta of the adults are sayin' you keep switchin' between talkin' 'bout how things are going on, and then start talkin' like it happened before. They're gettin' kinda upset with that. I don't like it when adults shout.)

Well excuse me! You first ask what's going on, and you ask what just happened, of course I'm going to keep using different tensions, I mean tenses!

'Just ignore them my dear. A lot of ponies just want to cause trouble by overstepping their bounds and neglecting their role even going so far as to invent a new one just to suit their fancy.'

I notice there are a bunch of other maids and server ponies here too. I, didn't give them a thought before, they've always just been part of the background. Now I'm in the background with them. Being interchangeable. Being able to do only what you're told to do. There's the sickness again.

'Oh, don't worry my little pony, sometimes you have to play a role in the background. When you do that, nopony suspects you. They see you as something they can pretend doesn't exist except when they need something, or a pawn to play not noticing they're being played, and that can be a very useful position to find yourself in if you know how to use it.'

The maid that dragged me here pushed me alongside a small group of other fillies and colts who were dressed like me at the back of the group with the adults in front. We were all facing forward.

"Now listen up!" Said an Earth pony stallion server whose cutie mark was a winged martini. "A lot of you have been hired on short notice but I'm telling you right now that's no excuse for anything! You're expected to do your job and do it like you were ninja! Invisible! Understand? No chit chatting with the guests! No staring! No lollygagging! And if any of you think you can just slip off and think no pony will notice you've ditched your responsibilities, think again! I am like a dragon, and you're all my bit pieces! I will hunt you down, and I will find you! Teleportation or flying will not save you."

I felt like he was looking right at me.

'Well this is one pony who needs to learn to lighten up. I wonder how he'd feel about being a clown balloon,' The voice said.

I giggled. My eyes widened. Mistake. Stupid.

"YOU! You find that funny little filly?" He stabbed a hoof right at me.

"N-no no sir!"

"Two noes? So you do find it funny?"

"No! I don't!"

"Then what do you think is funny?"

My brain went blank.

I wasn't supposed to be talked to like this. I was the one who was supposed to talk like this. I'm the one who... who...

The stallion's face got darker by the moment.

I said first thing that popped into my head. "Naked ponies!"

Now everyone was looking at me. I felt red. I wanted to hide. I felt the need to cry slowly crawl up inside me. And I had the feeling that would just make things worse.

"What's your name filly?"

"Diamonds."

"Well Diamonds I suggest you keep your mind on your job! Just because you're small doesn't mean you're given leeway here. Now I think you've stolen enough time with your selfish thinking that this meeting is somehow about you. DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?"

My entire body wilted.

"Y-yes sir."

The stallion turned back to what he was doing without a word.

Why didn't you help me out of that mess?

'Because, I wanted to see if you remembered any of my lessons. Sadly you did not, my little pony. If you had, you'd have concocted a perfect lie to cover yourself, I have already thought of several. Get on the ball filly!'

I wilted a little more...

The stallion launched into an endless stream of things that needed doing, what to offer and what not to offer to which guests, how to address them, when to keep your mouth shut, when to just smile and nod, what doors to use and which ones not to use in what path. It made my head spin.

The other ponies just patiently took it all in. How did they keep it all straight? It was crazy.

'Don't worry my little pony. You know you're better than them. Or do you? They work more than you, so does that make them worth more than you? But all they do is serve, is doing that more important than... spending your father's money and wearing jewelry and feeling sorry for yourself? Oh, and of course making ponies under you feel worse than you do, can't forget that.

'One self-pitying bully must be more important than a bunch of servant ponies right? They aren't you. So of course they can't matter. But if they don't matter why are you so scared of what they're all thinking?'

Servants talking down to me. Me being the least important pony in the room. Just a face in the herd. No pony cared who I was or how I felt. Everything was contradictions. 'I don't know! Tell me!'

'Now where's the fun if I did that? You still have a much to learn filly. My teacher didn't pull any punches either.'

Your teacher?

'Long story, but I learned from the best. You're in good clutches.'

We lined up and were one by one to be given instructions with our names written down on a clipboard.

I panted with sweat but at least nopony was looking at me.

'For the record my dear. I do feel sorry for this necessary evil,' said the voice, lacking its sly tone, 'All these rules and regulations, trying to make the world seem what it isn't. Sorry about that, it's stupid and boring, I know. But if things are going to go the way they need to, you need to endure.'

I wanted to ask the voice again if it really intended to help me, or was just stringing me along for a big let down and a big laugh after. After all, it was something I'd do and- ugh, sickness.

The sickness. Always the sickness. What was it? The voice wouldn't tell me, it wouldn't even respond when I asked it! It was a sickening weight inside me, pulling me down, slowing me down, making me feel small and ugly. Like I needed a bath on the inside.

I wanted to be home so badly.

'But go home to what? A 'father' who's betrayed your mother? A mother who's crazy? A best friend who was only your friend for your money and you made an enemy yourself? A bunch of blanks who are so much better at everything than you? A white narwhal who-'

Stop it.

My turn. My 'name' is written down. I'm handed an assignment.

Ballroom. Server.

"Hey! We got the same job! I'm Neatly Spell! Nice to meet you, let's see here again... Diamonds! Nice to meet you Diamonds! I haven't seen you before! Did you just start today or something? Does your big sister work here? Did your parents send you here? Are you hiding from an evil secret organization? Are you royalty in hiding? Are-"

Ugh, did Pinkie Pie clone herself?

I turned at the noise, and bumped nose to nose with another Earth Pony filly. She had a deep purple mane, blue eyes, and a coat as white as snow. Personally I think it made her look like a clown, but what felt familiar about her? She was in a maid uniform exactly like mine of course.

She looked at me smiling.

I noticed her flank was as barren as a field in winter. What curse am I under that I am to be forever plagued by blank flanks?

"Ugh," I shook my head, "What did you say your name was again?"

She stuck out her hoof. "I'm Neatly Spell. Pleased to meetcha!"

"Move along fillies!" Said the senior maid pushing us BOTH out of the room, "And don't dawdle!"

"Oh we better hurry, you don't want to be on Miss War Duster's worse side!"

Her name was War Duster? I was suddenly even more afraid of that already intimidating mare.

She cantered along, thank goodness she didn't skip or I think I'd have gone crazy.

I don't know why, but I felt confused when the voice didn't say anything to that.

Well, she knew the way we were supposed to be going and I didn't. I glanced outside a window and saw the sun was beginning to set. Time really flies.

"Wow, your cutie mark: are you a princess?" The filly's voice pierced my ears.

"No."

"Are you a treasure hunter?"

"No."

"Are you a jeweler?"

"No."

"Oh! Silly me, it must be for serving royalty right?"

"NO!"

"Well then what-"

"For jewelry! It's for wearing jewelry! All I'm good for is wearing jewelry! There! Are you happy now?"

"... No I'm not. And that's stupid. There's no way that's what your cutie is for. Mom and dad said cutie marks aren't obvi-, obliv-, they aren't always exactly what they look like."

"Well mine is."

"Naw. Can't be. Maybe it was helping others look good in jewelry. I'd buy that, but if it was something like that, I'd have a special talent for wearing cute dresses by now!"

I raised an eyebrow, "Maybe your special talent is irritating ponies?"

"Funny, my parents said the same thing before they sent me here. Both my parents are unicorns by the way! But that can't be it. I tried that, but no go."

"You tried irritating others?" Sounds like something those blanks would do.

"Well not really, but that's what everypony said I was doing. I said how those drapes clash with the carpet. That a few less flowers in the display would let their colors stand out more. That those napkins would compliment the tablecloth more. The mare uniforms could be an inch or two longer or a shade lighter. But they said I was just a filly and didn't know anything. I would have told the Zebra ambassador how her jewelry could better compliment her stripes but we're not allowed to talk to the guests like that. And that's sad: they'd probably have a better time if we could talk to them."

"You're a designer."

"Huh?"

"Sounds to me like you're a designer."

"Don't be silly! One day I'm gonna be a mage just like my parents and big sister!"


"I try to tell her that she has the voice of an angel, but she won't listen. She insists she'll be a designer just like me when she gets her cutie mark. She just says how I'm good at singing too. I try to use that but she just focuses on trying to copy my talents as a designer instead. And when she isn't, she tries everything except singing."

"Wow. She's oblivious." I said off hoofedly, gasped and covered my mouth. I looked in fear waiting for the wrath I've incurred.

But the tone that comes out of her muzzle reminds me of kind Miss Cheerliee instead. "Let me tell you Diamond Tiara, trying to tell a filly what their special talent is before they realize it on their own is an exercise in futility."


Miss Rarity's sister. Why did I always avoid her when I went to my visits to Miss Rarity? Why did I always make sure I was never seen? What did I have to lose from a measly blank knowing I was taking sewing lessons?

Was I scared she'd tell the others? That she'd tell my father? That I had lowered myself to taking lessons from a narwhal? That I was seeing mom without his permission? That she'd laugh at me for being so miserable at sewing? That all her friends would then have at me? I gritted my teeth.

"Hey you okay?" The playful and oblivious attitude from before seemed to evaporate.

"No I'm not."

"Wanna talk about it?"

"No I don't."

"Talking about problems helps."

"No it doesn't."

"Oh come on! Now you sound like a colt!"

"No I don't."

"You sure say no a lot."

"No I-- okay, I am now , but I don't usually."

"Well you really need to learn to open up more."

'Watch yourself my little pony! Kitchen right up ahead! And try to remember not to get lost in your own farce. I've seen that happen to many.'

We entered the kitchen and practically had the serving trays shoved into our mouths and were told where to place them on the tables in the ballroom.

You want details? It was big. It was shiny. It made my family's kitchen look like a pauper's. I wasn't exactly in a spot to take in the sights. There were so many smells of cooking food, I couldn't tell which was which! It almost made me dizzy. Unicorns were all over the place moving like one giant machine churning out culinary masterpieces like clockwork. And I was suddenly just one tiny cog in it!

"Just follow my lead," Neatly Spell whispered as she saw me begin to panic. How she did that with a mouth full of platter was anypony's guess. Maybe she really is related to Pinkie Pie. Me? I just nodded and followed along doing my best to mimic her body language. Made me feel like we were part of a duet.

I tried to resist having flashbacks to the school talent show. The reviews said my and Silver Spoon's dance routine made the audience feel like their eyes were eating plain white rice. Our dance was just 'there' it said. But we didn't miss any steps. We went through the performance perfectly. Nopony laughed at us. And we certainly didn't cause the half the stage to fall on top of us.

So how did those retarded blanks get an award instead of us?! The sickness hit again, this time I didn't care! Those blanks' act crashed down around their ears, they couldn't have done a worse job if they tried, and they get an award and we don't-?! Even when they crash and burn they get rewarded and I get pushed to the background! It wasn't fair! It didn't make any sense! Even when they lose they win? That's cheating! It's not fair! What about me? My plans backfire and everypony laughs at me! Their plans backfire, everypony feels sorry for them and gives them what they want anyway!

'It's like the universe was against you, isn't it? Here's a secret dear: it was. The Shadows Who Rule would never let you have your day, or for anything to be fixed by The Shadows Who Make. They want everything to stay exactly the same forever and ever. Nothing changing, just superficial changes in the window dressing. Thinking they can keep it going forever when they know they can't. But you're free now, the world is free now. And you have the power to change it!'

"Diamonds! Watch out!" Neatly Spell gasped bumping me to a stop just before I could walk into a very important somepony. We scurried along before we were looked at.

"You okay?" She asked concerned.

"I-I'm fine." I stuttered out at the close save. "T-thank you."

"Welcome." She gave me a quick nuzzle.

It took me a minute to realize we were now in the ballroom. Abstract statue of Celestia in the center. Giant marble columns with plastered crack lines on them (maybe the designers felt it gave them a more classic look or something?). The floor was so polished I could see my face in it. At least you could barely tell I had been crying. Was my eye twitching? Had to be my imagination.

The long tables so full of food that most would go to waste, the fancy dressed unicorns, Earth ponies and pegasi, did everything about this city have to make me feel small?

What happened to the times I had felt big? Before my new toy started biting back. When had I gotten back my crown? When had I finally felt great and powerful again?

The one time in my life I had those three under my hoof. My little gossip reporters. That had been so sweet. Like the world had finally returned to the way it was supposed to be. Seeing those three squirm. I had the power, at last. They were my little minions. They did what I wanted them to and they did so eagerly.

'And that impossible choice you gave them was rather lovely too my dear.'

Thank you. I was on top of the world. Why did good things always have to end?

The news paper was being read by adults. Ponies loved it. What did I care if some ponies' feelings got hurt? I wasn't the one hurting ponies' feelings, I didn't doctor their articles to make them hurtful, so I could just sit back and watch the fireworks in peace. And that idea, 'it's for the paper' acted like the invincible armor I needed from the sickness. I was doing my responsibility. Nothing wrong with that. Then those three tried to chicken out. Well we couldn't have that now could we?

All I needed to do was think those four words 'it's for the paper' and the sickness couldn't hurt me! I could be myself again! They even protected me against the sickness when I showed my rebelling reporters the photos of them I'd be putting in the column if they couldn't dig up something. No matter how much the sickness tried to drown me as I declared I didn't care about ponies' feelings. Those three words were my armor and shield.

Who cares if Silver Spoon wasn't with me. Who cares that meant the world wasn't really back to normal? Who cares if mom still wasn't home? I had the sense of attention and control I've always enjoyed before. I could just close my eyes and pretend they were with me.

So... so what if I shelved the gossip story they did on Silver Spoon, there... there was not enough room in the paper that day.

Oh, and then there was the BEST part. For once, the whole town was furious at THEM! At them and not ME! Their own family and friends shunned them like the blanks they were! And all I needed to say to myself 'Gabby Gums was their idea, it's not my fault it's got them in over their heads' and I could watch their loved ones hurt them worse than I ever had! The best part was when that rotten yellow one's big brother chewed them out! And her big sister wouldn't even talk to them. Oh the looks on their faces! Priceless! The sickness tried to gobble me up, worse than before or since, but I just put up my armor with those four words: I only tried to vomit once. Surprised? You think I didn't still have Featherweight trailing those three?

Then the world gets turned upside down again! How could Miss Cheerilee do that-?! I was just doing it for the paper. Everything was going great! How could she kick me off as editor? And I thought she was supposed to be just 'advisor!' Some advisor!

And Featherweight didn't even try to warn me about those blanks' little scheme! He had to have known! I bet he told Miss Cheerilee and wanted the editor seat for himself! Everypony in Ponyville was reading the paper and suddenly when those blanks write their letter THEN she gets on my case? I cry foul! If she had a problem with the paper she'd have done something sooner than that!

I get humiliated and no one says they're mean for laughing at me! Things go wrong for me, and they laugh at me, again! I don't see anyone scolding them when they laugh at things going wrong for me!

Then after the whole mess (figuratively and literally), that stupid wall-eyed pegasus actually invaded my family's property saying how I had bullied her filly! Dinky?! I had never even spoken to her! Took her newspaper and pushed her? It had taken days just to remember what she was even talking about! When I bully somepony they remember it and so do I! (I take pride in my art.) Hearing it from the wall-eyed pony you think I'd been a colt and beaten Dinky up and taken the newspaper from her running away laughing after trying to drown her.

And dad, he just let her talk to me like that! After Applebloom's Family Appreciation Day dad just let that walled eye mare talk to me like that! I remembering crying. He made me write out an apology! A written apology! For taking a paper?! Had the whole world gone crazy?

Pain flashed through my brain. And I had two memories shoving against each other, and they weren't even from the same place! In one memory the Cakes' foals, twins, had been born, and one of the Gabby Gums articles included 'Pinkie Pie: Out Of Control Party Animal' (as if everypony in Ponyville didn't already know that). But... I had never seen the Cakes' baby. How could I know it was twins? Mrs. Cake was still pregnant when... when I left. And Pinkie Pie had done a total one-eighty, and had stopped making parties in the middle of the street without a permit.

'Oh don't worry about that my dear. In fact I'm rather surprised my little pony that you even noticed the difference. I guess it might be because I was having you take a long nap when the link to the heart world broke and events were scrambled around to make them fit. You should feel proud, that little incident's place in time was scrambled around just for you. Normally only ponies with a sixth sense are aware of these changes. That or complete and total mad ponies! Ha ha! Or they just go crazy anyway! Good pony! Very good pony! My Little Pony!'

I'm not crazy.

'Of course not, it's the rest of the world that's crazy. Or is it? Oh well, doesn't matter now does it? Or should it matter? You have a mother to save don't you?'

Yes.

I noticed the ballroom windows all led straight to the royal gardens. No guards. The stars were coming out. The lights inside made the entire outside look black.

'Make a break for it filly. The moment you can slip away unnoticed do it! They won't notice one less server for a small while, even with those rule fixated bullies ordering things around.'

You want me to act natural?

'NO! Not that! Anything but that filly! The more you try to act natural, the less natural you'll act! The night is just beginning. And the cover of darkness will be perfect for you. I'd rather have things happen at high noon for more dramatic effect but sadly beggars can't be choosers. Just keep up the act but inch along closer to the doors and windows and... just relax my little pony. It'll all be over soon. Think of your momma, how happy she'll be when her sanity is back, all the...ugh, happy times you'll have...'

'Are you okay?'

'Yes, I just threw up in my own mind again. Now get moving!'

Neatly Spell kept stealing glances at me, but I made due. She looked, concerned? That was stupid. Who could show concern for any pony who she had one conservation with? Ugh! There's that same weird feeling I get when I'm around Pinkie Pie.

I said my sacred mantra. She doesn't matter, only I matter. And the sickness hit again, along with images of mom, Miss Rarity, dad, and the one friend who I hurt. My entire body shook. I struggled to keep the tray even and stable. The last thing I needed was a spill among these elites. That stallion and War Duster's eyes would be on me for the rest of the party. And I did not want those two on my case again.

All in all the entire ballroom was a typical fancy adult party. Drab, lifeless, along with drab and lifeless music that looked painful for the musicians to play. What was the point in growing up if that's all that was waiting for you?

'Now that's the spirit, why bother growing up? More rules, more responsibilities that only come with fake consequences. It's so much better remaining small: the world is your playground. And foals always get away with so much more than adults, because your elders are so much lighter on the stupid nonexistent consequences they force on you. Dressing up like a cheerleader during playtime with... ugh, others. Isn't it better to stay a little filly? After all, wasn't it all the stupid responsibilities grownups have that made your dear mother ill? Or was it something or somepony else? I'm not quite sure. But I'm sure it'll be clear before too long.'

What do you mean by that?

'Stay focused filly.'

I went through the routines of a humble servant pony like a robot, I think the adults approved. It was like swallowing bad medicine. It was the same bitter taste as the jumping over the water cans singing the ABCs and being reduced to a printing press grunt.

Except this time, "It's okay Diamonds I've got it."

"Don't worry, just make sure to look busy."

"Pst, watch out, your tiara's showing. Yeah I noticed when I said hi."

I shuddered, finally this torture was too much. "Why? Why are you helping me? You don't know me."

"Of course I know you. Your name is Diamonds. You like being a grump. You don't like being a grunt and you don't like big bullies telling you what to do."

"We just met."

"No we met in the war room."

"I meant we just met today."

"So?"

"So why are you helping me?"

"Why not?"

"Because we're strangers."

"Are you allergic to ponies being nice to you or something? We're friends."

Friends? To a pony she just met? I felt sick again. "But-that's-it's-"

"Hey, it's okay. It's not so bad is it? Having friends?"

I felt a dull pain in my chest, like something black and ugly trying to be pulled out. Inch by inch out of me, barbs tearing my insides as it was torn away. Something gentle soothed me that it was going to be okay. Just a bit more, just a bit, -too much. It hurt too much to take out. I couldn't take it. I was weak. It wormed back into place, the pain fading.

"Yeah, sure, whatever," I said.

Me and Neatly Spell had to split up. I stuck to the rout. But deviated a bit under the pretense of replacing still half full trays and offering snacks to guests. I knew I was stretching it. But hopefully I'd be able to get out of here before my cover was blown.

I didn't see any sign of the Alicorns. That was a good thing. I didn't want to think about what they'd do if they found an intruder in the heart of their castle. They'll erase my brain! They'll want mom to stay sick so ponies won't like the voice in my head better than The Princesses! I bet they'd send me to the moon, or turn me to stone, or turn me to stone and send me to the moon!

And I still felt like I was a sheep in a pack full of timber wolves. All I had to do was one thing wrong, and they'd know I didn't belong here. They'd know that I was an invader. Why did I keep wilting?

"Don't worry." I felt proud at not shouting when Neatly Spell whispered behind me out of nowhere. "They won't look you in the eyes. They have their noses too high in the air. They don't want to waste the energy on judging you."

"Thanks," I whispered, and the word didn't leave a bad taste in my mouth.

"Welcome Diamonds." She smiled.

How could a pony like her even exist?

I continued that routine for over an hour: listening to music that could put Pinkie Pie into a coma, carefully avoiding adults who ignored me more than they ignored the band. I listened to conversations about the buying and selling of land. I listened to companies being sold or bought. I did hear the amusing occasional culture clash. Some pegasi hadn't gotten the memo that ponies didn't wrap their tails together as a hoof shake in Canterlot, and some ambassadors found out sticking your tongue out here didn't mean 'Hello!' in Equestria.

I was a little bit in awe, so many ponies from so many places, all with their own idea of what 'proper' was, and so many conflicting. What was proper then anyway? If no pony could agree on what it was, did it even exist?

I trotted in a pattern, inching close to my portal to getting my life back each time.

Inching closer, and closer, and closer, AND CLOSER-

(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): What's your name?

Huh?! Why are you asking that now?!

(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): Oh! Well. When we talked to my, to the Elements of Harmony we always got their names formally. So can you tell me your name, just for records' sake? It's just a formality.)

Sigh. Diamond Tiara. There, happy?

(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): Yes. Thanks. And where did you get your name?

You're kidding right?

(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): Please?)

Fine fine. I got it from my parents. Now I really need to-

(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): The same parents who took care of you when you were sick and didn't just hand it off to servants? The same parents who always got you whatever you wanted? The parents who love you?

I, that is, yes?

(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): Okay, good. Is your dad an honest business pony?)

Of course he is!

(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): So would he really approve of you being taught how to lie and hurt other-ACK!

'That is enough out of you my little filly! Why don't you run along to your sisters? Really my little pony, you need to learn to ignore small-minded distractions like her. There is nothing more annoying than those who try to overstep their bound and betray their responsibilities. Really. Interviewers should just interview. Not try to steer the story away from its natural course. Stupid little plot device.

'Sorry for that petty annoyance my little pony. You're at the final leg of your quest. Don't go turning off the console now.'

Huh? What?

'Just go for it. You're right at the doors. If somepony asks you, just say the table's out of ice or something and you're fetching more. open the doors, quietly slip out, and away we go!'


The security sure was bigger than the last time I had been here. Then again, the world had gone upside down since then.

I don't think my tricks for getting through here before were going to work again.

They were covering the blind spots I had used before to get inside.

But they were between me and what I wanted, no, what I needed! We did this before and we could do it again.

A lot of trouble over a little thing? It wasn't little to me.

Guards at their posts weren't static, eyes always scanning, ears flicking one direction and another attentive listening for any unusual noise.

They took their job seriously, but hey, they were paid enough to.

This might be a tiny teeny bit harder than I thought it would be.

"You know this doesn't seem like a good idea." She said behind me.

"Don't be a baby Silver Spoon, remember I've got it all worked out in my head. There's nothing that can go wrong."

"Are you sure it's that important?" My best friend asked.

"Don't joke. I just, I just want something that's mom's, Silver Spoon."

"Well I get that, but who's Silver Spoon?"

"Huh?"


I looked over my shoulder and saw Neatly Spell looking right at me.

I somehow managed to keep from exclaiming in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

I wasn't in my home. And the Night Guard I saw weren't my family's servers. And what I was going for, didn't belong to my mother.

"What are you doing here?"

"I asked first."

"Well, I saw you escaping from the party, and I didn't want to get in trouble with Miss War Duster or Mr. Tux and I wanted to see what you were doing."

"You're not supposed to be here."

"Neither are you. So what are you doing here?" She whispered with a tiny bit of fear, "... Are... are you a thief?"

"No!"

"Then what are you doing here?"

"I don't--I'm here to save my family."

"Is your family in the dungeon?"

"No."

"Has your family been turned into statues?"

"No."

"Was your family sent to the moon?"

"No."

"Was your family turned to stone and sent to the moon?"

"No!"

"Are you hoping Princess Celestia will bring your family back from the dead?"

"NO!"

"Then how is your sneaking off in the middle of work going to rescue your family?"

"I didn't say rescue. I said save."

"Save them how?"

"That isn't your business."

"Wanna see how loud I can shout? I'm the regional champion."

"Okay, okay, you promise not to tell?"

"I promise."

"Pinkie swear?"

"Pinkie what?"

"Never mind." Was Pinkie Pie a friend of mine? Of course not. She just was never mean or laughed at me. She had this really strange power to make me smile and laugh without make anypony else feel bad. She tickled me when my mom went away. Then she left an 'I'm sorry,' note with a basket full of cupcakes after I told her I didn't think it was funny!

And she always made me feel weird! Like being near her made me being on top not matter so much, like she was brainwashing me! But it never felt bad, but isn't that what they say brainwashing is like right? But she never actually tried to force anything on me. She was just nice. Don't tell me you're THAT surprised! That pink party pony has a reputation to keep for being friends with everypony in Ponyville (and cow, and donkey and zebra, etc eteria).

"Well?" Neatly Spell tilted her head.

"Well what?"

"How's sneaking off into the garden going to save your family?"

I startled as the question set off gears and levers in my head. I didn't know. The voice had only been promising. The voice had only been guiding. The voice hadn't said what I had to do to help it, and how it was going to make my mom normal again.

'Not normal unfortunately, 'sane' remember? That promise you made me make? I couldn't go spilling the beans in case you did. And this filly is more trouble than she needs to be, a shame, she reminds me of somepony I very much found lovely. You've picked an awful awful time to start being honest my dear. Unless this has all been one big fat game to you and you never had any intention of helping me from the start or were planning to make me help your mother first and then walk away without even lifting a hoof. Though I must say, if it is the latter, bravo, you're a smarter little filly than I thought you were!'

No! I promise I will! I promise! Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!

'Hahaha! I always loved that swear!'

So how am I going to help you? And how are you going to help me?

'You've picked an annoying time to ask for details when you have a much more important problem waiting for your answer, and it's too complicated to explain right now!'

My brain struggled for some good lie I could use. Some basic deceit. A distraction. A diversion.

'You know what you need to do my dear. You've done it before.'

No, please-

'You don't have time to explain things. And she'll just think you're crazy anyway, what taking advice from a voice in your head and everything. And she's made it clear that she'll ruin everything if you don't spend the time to explain things to her that you don't have.'

What time? Is something going to happen? Is something happening with mom? What's wrong?

'What did I say about explanations? See that rock right next to you? Do it.'

But-but-

'What? It's not like she's a friend. You don't have any. It's not like she's family. She's a stranger. Nopony. Just a moment of fancy. And of course, she's not you.'

If-If, I-she, I-I bet it would get lots and lots of attention if they found a hurt pony and I don't see where I could hide her.

'Tsk-tsk. You've come so far my little pony. I've taught you so much. You've become so much more than when I found you. And you're still getting caught up in your own facade.'

I-I'm sorry.

'Pst. What a waste. So this is where it ends does it? You braved the wilderness. Infiltrated this city. Made so many escapes. Infiltrated this castle. You've put so much on the table. And here is where it all ends. This is where you lose everything. Because you didn't have the guts to do what you needed to. Even that yellow blank flank knows when to put down a mad dog. You'd faint from the sight. What a total anti-climax. You know what? If you were this cowardly from the beginning, maybe I shouldn't have asked for your help. If this is the final act, I'd have to give you two hooves down. That's about average for you isn't it my little pony? 'My'? Pst. As if I'd be associated with a gutless coward. Don't pretend you think doing it is wrong. Your mother and father are going to be so disappointed in you. That you let one stranger stand between you and-'

+++

Rarity stepped into her little sister's room. Rarity had guessed the sound before coming in but was still hurt to see the source.

"Sweetie Belle? Why are you crying?" Rarity asked gently.

Sweetie Belle lifted her face from the pillow she had been hugging. Rivers came from her eyes and nostrils.

"I-I don't know... " She sniffled, "And I think that's why I'm crying."

"What?" Rarity let out a scared laugh. "Sweetie darling you're not making any sense!"

"I know!" Sweetie wailed. "I-I feel like I just did something really really really bad, that I really really really didn't want to do! And I feel really really really awful for it! But if I didn't someone I really really really love would keep hurting!"

Rarity felt increasingly uncomfortable. "Those...are those some pretty precise feelings Sweetie."

"I know! I'm so confused! And I don't even know what I'm crying for! I don't know why I feel like this!"

"Well, if you don't know why you're crying, you shouldn't waste your tears."

"These aren't my tears."

"Sweetie you're just tired, I think you just took a nap, had a bad dream and-"

"RARITY!" Sweetie Belle snapped at her, "I wasn't dreaming! I'm scared! I just know somepony is really hurt. And they can't cry. So I think I might be crying for them."

"Sweetie Belle will you be-!" '-serious,' Rarity was about to tell her little sister. That Sweetie was talking nonsense, that she was letting her imagination get the better of her. But her little sister's face twisted into so wretched a visage of regret that the words were slain in her throat. Rarity had this odd feeling of having stepped into some strange world.

Her sister's eyes were red from crying, she was breaking down into hiccups. Rarity did the only thing she could think of and hugged Sweetie stroking her mane. "Alright, I'll help you cry for them then."