In Duty's Name

by Cloudhammer

09 - Trot the Line

Chapter 9 – Trot the Line

Twilight watched as Cloudhammer made his way down the slope, her face creased in concern. The sun shone brightly in the sky, making his gold armor glow like new, although a few muddy spots were still visible from their encounter with the hydra not minutes ago. Just the memory of it made her shudder a little; the monster’s head had been so close, its foul breath wafting over them as it tried to sniff out their hiding place. She briefly gave thanks for remembering to brush up on that sound-silencing spell a few weeks ago, if Rarity’s shriek had been at full volume, there was no doubt in her mind that the hydra would have heard and come back to look again. Shaking her head to get her focus back, she began to trot down the hill after Cloudhammer, wondering if she’d get the chance to learn about the last pieces of information he was hiding anytime soon.

Cloudhammer got to the bottom of the hill and made his way up the next rise to get a good look at the terrain ahead of them. From the top of the hill, the desert spread out before him like a vast plain, only bleached tan and white instead of green. Here and there rock formations rose to break up the monotonous terrain with shades of brown and red. Forlorn plants here and there could be seen eking out their meager existence in defiance of the heat, which to most ponies would feel oppressive. But to pegasi, the heat waves rising off the land felt… energizing, in a sense. It would be so easy to catch a thermal up, and just drift lazily with no real effort invested. Sure, the lack of clouds to rest on would be annoying, but some of those rock formations could serve nicely as a roost, or even a house. With a sharp snort, Cloudhammer shook his head free of those thoughts, even though his wings continued to flutter slightly in the slight wind that flowed over them toward the cooler forest.

“Clo… Captain?” Twilight asked as she trotted up the hill behind him with the others following. She wasn’t sure why he’d stopped, but noticed the fluttering of his wings. Glancing around in apprehension as she reached the top, she didn’t see anything that would be cause for alarm, but noticed that Rainbow Dash’s and even Fluttershy’s wings were twitching as well. “Are you three feeling alright?” She’d admit that pony biology wasn’t a subject she was as familiar with, especially pegasi.

Fluttershy’s eyes, which had begun to drift shut, snapped back open and her wings folded tighter against her side. “Oh, um… yes. I’m just fine Twilight, it’s just the air here feels… nice.” The shy pegasus turned her face back towards the desert, mane moving gently in the breeze.

Rainbow, on the other hand, either ignored or simply hadn’t heard her, extending her wings to their fullest as a small smile crept onto her features. In a blur of motion she suddenly lifted them up and slammed them down hard, launching herself high into the air before swooping upwards and out of sight.

Applejack watched her go with a puzzled look on her face. “Well that was mighty peculiar. What you reckon’s gotten into her?” She looked over as Cloudhammer turned his head to look back at them.

“I’m not surprised you don’t know Miss Applejack, but I’m frankly curious why you don’t know Miss Sparkle.” Seeing the confused look on Twilight’s face, he sighed and continued. “It’s just as Miss Fluttershy said; it’s the air here. For a pegasus, the warmer the air is the better it feels, and hence the flutter in our wings. Now we need to keep moving, I’m going to fly for a ways so that I can keep an eye out for any sudden ravines. We’ll follow this gully here for the first part of the trip; see if we can’t get to one of those rock formations and a cave before nightfall. Getting caught out at night here would be less than pleasant.” With that he spread his wings and leaped into the air as well, keeping to a moderate altitude so the earth-bound ponies would be able to see him and follow him.

“Whatever does he mean by that?” Rarity asked, the confusion on her face from Rainbow’s behavior only deepening.

Twilight smiled, glad to be back onto a subject she knew something about. “In desert environments like this, it gets really hot during the day, but at nighttime, the temperature can drop severely, in some cases even going below freezing. So that’s why we should keep moving, so that we can have someplace warm to shelter in for the night.” The group all shuddered, still not believing that such a hot place would abruptly switch to being an icebox so quickly, but with a round of shrugs, they began to follow Twilight down the gully and towards the towering spires in the distance.

…

As Cloudhammer reached a comfortable cruising altitude of about fifty feet, his thoughts again started trying to turn back to what he had been thinking about before the hydra attack. But the sun shining down warmly on him, and the simple joy any pegasus feels when the wind is flowing over their wings, served to calm the remnants of the mental storm that was trying to reignite in his mind.

He was still unsure of what made the mares so easy to trust; if he had to put a hoof on it, it was identical to what it was like when he’d met Flare. At first he’d thought the unicorn was nothing but a brash fool who was too laid back when it came to taking his duties seriously. However, every time Cloudhammer brushed off his offer to grab something to eat or to go to a bar after their shifts, Flare would simply smile in his usual way and say, “Another time then.” and trot away as if he meant it.

A few years passed, and he had been chosen as the leader of a pegasus squad escorting a pair of diplomats to the griffon lands. A squad of unicorns had been chosen to accompany them as well, and Flare was given the task to lead them. He had been a First Lieutenant at the time, but was well on the way to becoming a Captain himself. The journey there had been relatively uneventful, Flare’s obnoxious attempts to make friends aside. The griffons received them well enough and assigned them a dwelling in the center of their city in order to keep them safe. That night, most of the Guards had gone to bed, while Cloudhammer and Flare had drawn the first watch. They were walking patrol when Flare suddenly got a peculiar look on his face. Sniffing the air a few times, he abruptly bucked a passing griffon carrying a crate of melons. The griffon screeched outrage and tried to slash at Flare, but the unicorn was already rolling back, his horn lit as he flung the crate of melons into a nearby fountain. Cloudhammer, initially confused by Flare’s action, leaped in to stand beside his fellow guard. Around them, three of the other griffons in the street dropped what they were carrying and took up positions to fight. The two ponies went back to back without even needing to think about it, and as the griffons leapt in to strike, both prepared to sell their lives dearly. However, before any blows could be struck, more griffons fell from the sky onto the four, pinning them in place. It turned out the griffon king had anticipated such an attack, and had covertly had the diplomat’s dwelling monitored.

As the four griffons were dragged away to face trial, Cloudhammer had asked Flare how he knew the griffon was up to no good. Flare walked over to one of the unbroken melons, and smashed it open against the inside of the fountain. The melon cracked open, but instead of fruit and juice, the melon was hollow and filled with a black powder. “This is special explosive powder, it’s used for mining and for fireworks. I recognized the smell when I passed the griffon with them.”

Cloudhammer was slightly impressed. “And just how did you familiarize yourself with the smell of this powder? As I recall, all that they teach you unicorns in basic training is magical defense and offensive spells.”

Flare laughed. “My mother loves creating fireworks, and when I was old enough, she had me mixing the powder that gives them their explosive power and their colors. I think I probably inhaled enough of the stuff at times to be able to breathe fire!” He burst into laughter again, while Cloudhammer stared for a bit, then finally couldn’t hold it back anymore and cracked a smile.

“You did good, I’ll give you that. If you hadn’t been here they’d have succeeded. I owe you, and more importantly those diplomats owe you their lives. I guess for a unicorn you’re not too bad. Let’s grab a drink inside where it’s quieter.” Without even waiting for a reply, Cloudhammer turned and made his way back inside.

Flare smiled, as if the whole thing was simply part of the plan, and followed the captain inside. “Whatever you say sir.”

…

Shaking himself free of the memory, Cloudhammer felt his face creased in a small smile, though whether it was from the memory or the fact that he was actually enjoying himself, he wasn't quite sure. He rarely took vacations anymore now that Star Dancer was living on his own, and he’d honestly begun to feel like even if he did take one, he wouldn’t have any fun on it. The Guard was his life; by the time he was ten summers old he knew more of the higher ups in the Guard than he did colts his own age. He’d had no problem with it; it was what the family tradition expected anyway.

Still, looking at the expanse of warm desert before him, feeling the thermals pushing up under his wings, he started to feel like there was something to taking a break now and then. Not too often of course, maybe every 5 years would be adequate to break up the usual pace. He checked down below him and could see the group was still making good time, they’d easily be able to reach the closest rock formation before nightfall. His musings were interrupted by a blur of rainbow-hued mane as Rainbow Dash swerved past him so close her tail almost collided with him. Not willing to let the mare get the better of him, Cloudhammer didn’t flinch or alter his flight plan at all.

Rainbow looped back around and drew up beside him. “Alright, I got some things I need to say to ya.”

“Oh? And what might that be Miss Dash?” Cloudhammer replied evenly.

“Now, I know you got your whole Guard thing goin on and that’s fine, but your attitude lately has really started to stink up the sky. Now, I’m not gonna tell you to tell me about it, but how about this. Race me.”

Cloudhammer shot a hard glance her way. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me, I said race me. If you win, I’ll do whatever you tell me for the next week. If I win, you start lightening up like after the Lupus attack, and stop using all that fancy Miss talk. Sound fair to you?” Rainbow’s eyes returned his glance without any hesitation at all.

“And just why should I have to race you to do anything?” Cloudhammer asked with a derisive snort.

“Fine, then don’t. It’ll just prove that on top of being a stubborn idiot, you’re afraid I’ll win.” Rainbow’s voice was laced with excitement, the pegasus’ very being radiating her confidence.

Cloudhammer watched her pensively before making his decision. “Fine, you’re on. To that pillar over there. Enjoy following orders.” And with that he folded his wings and dove almost directly down.

“Fine then, you can just be a wuss and… HEY WAIT A MINUTE!” Dash folded her wings and rolled into a dive after him. If he wanted to do it the hard way, she was more than willing to do it the hard way.

Twilight looked up at the shouting to see Cloudhammer arrowing straight down towards her, Rainbow Dash in pursuit. “What in the world!” Twilight ducked and shut her eyes, hearing the sound of the two pegasi pulling up and flying directly over her head, the wind from their passage blowing dust everywhere and whipping their manes around.

Applejack shouted as the wind snatched her Stetson from her head. “CONSARN IT RAINBOW! A’HM GONNA TAN YER HIDE FOR THIS!” Picking the hat back up and setting it firmly on her head, the farm pony looked up to see the two pegasi swoop over the next hill, both pegasi keeping low to the ground and vanishing from sight. “What in tarnation are those two thinkin? Rainbow I can understand, but now she’s gone and got the Captain goofing off too?”

Twilight got back to her hooves and looked in the same direction. “I’m not entirely sure either Applejack. I suppose we’ll just have to ask them when we next see them.”

…

Cloudhammer skimmed low over the ground, not ten feet between his hooves and the dirt. He kept his wings beating in a steady rhythm, wanting to save his energy in case he needed it. He risked a glance over his shoulder and could see Rainbow hot on his trail, but he couldn’t keep watching and turned his head forward again. He was coming up fast on the first rock formation, a broken mass of jagged towers of rock, with some having holes weathered in them and others forming giant arches.

Rainbow’s wings were beating as fast as she could make them, and she was starting to gain ground on the captain, but suddenly she had to flare her wings as the two approached the start of the rock formations. Cloudhammer smoothly pulled up and used his legs to give him an additional boost of speed as he raced over the top. Rainbow almost followed him, but a glance ahead of her made her grin fiercely and she continued straight into the gaps between the formations.

Skimming over the top of the formations, Cloudhammer looked over his shoulder again, but couldn’t see Rainbow behind him anymore. He wondered what trick she was planning to try and get the advantage, and if he’d actually beat the younger pegasus. He hated to admit it, but he hadn’t held much hope for winning in the first place. He’d considered simply turning her down, it wasn’t as if her calling him names would affect him. But it had been a long time since he’d had proper exercise, and despite himself, he couldn’t help but feel a little bit competitive. After all, he liked winning as much as any other Guard. He was drawing up to the last arch, and passed over it with a kick of his rear legs to keep his speed up, when a blur of rainbow colored light streaked directly under him and rocketed towards the rock pillar, winding around it in triumph before alighting on top of it in victory. Cloudhammer did his best to hide his surprise, though his eyes did widen as he swooped in and landed near the base of the tower.

After finishing her victory pose, Rainbow fluttered down to the ground. “Who’s the best flyer around? That’s right; it’s Rainbow Dash, the Best Young Flyer in all of Equestria.” She struck another victory pose as she landed, continuing her list of accords for her win.

Cloudhammer snorted, then his right front leg gave out and he sagged to a knee before he could catch himself. Rainbow instantly stopped her posturing and helped him to his hooves. “Hey, you ok?”

Cloudhammer tentatively put weight on his leg and once he was sure it would cooperate, he gave a very slight nod of thanks to Rainbow. “Anyway, you won fair and square… Rainbow.” It was clear he didn’t like it, but Rainbow ate it up anyway.

“Care to hear how I beat ya?” The cyan pegasus was as giddy as Pinkie Pie. She would never admit it, but for a moment she hadn’t been sure if her plan would work.

“Maybe later, we need to join the others and find a place to hole up for the night.” Cloudhammer flapped his wings once and took off, trying to ignore the small twinges of pain from working his wing muscles so hard. As he angled up higher, leveling off around one hundred feet, he began to lazily drift across the thermals, looking back and forth for a possible cave to use as a shelter. As he looked to his right, he noticed a long, straight line darker than the surrounding dirt. “Mi… Rainbow! Any clue what that is?” He pointed with a hoof as Rainbow drew nearer.”

“Oh, that’s probably just the rail line that leads to Appleloosa.” The blue pegasus briefly remembered her last trip there with a small smile. She wondered how Little Strongheart had been getting along since the skirmish with the settler ponies, and felt a little bad that she hadn’t had the chance to catch up.

“Appleloosa?” Cloudhammer was confused as he thought back. He recalled hearing the rumors around the Guard offices that a group of ponies had formed a town out in the desert, and of the plans to build a railway there, but he hadn’t heard anything else of it, or the town’s name. No, wait… He remembered that Celestia had received a letter from Twilight about their trip out to the town. “That’s right, I do remember now. Well, if there’s a rail that leads right there, we might as well follow it. Let’s go back to the others and lead them to the tracks, we can follow them to the town and replenish any supplies we need to there. Maybe even get some news from Canterlot about the state of things if we’re lucky.” With that, the two pegasi angled back towards the direction from which they had come, one simply basking in the joy of flying, and the other beginning to worry if things were under control back home.

…

Celestia had always disliked bureauponies. They always seemed to enjoy slowing down or otherwise clogging up real progress from being made. However, in a nation composed of so many different regions, having to have ponies around who could get together to work out deals was something that couldn’t be avoided. But by the sun and stars they started to all run together, like this one from Manehatten, who was arguing that his city needed more emergency supplies than the others.

“… And that is why, per the Equestria Emergency Aid Appropriation Act, passed AN 204, We feel it necessary to request additional shipments of supplies to our city. The simple matter is that with our population in so much flux during the days leading up to the outbreak of these phenomenon, our city is simply more crowded than the official census taken last year indicates. Therefore, more food is necessary to…” The official stopped speaking as Celestia gestured with a hoof.

“I understand your position my dear, but unfortunately with the state of emergency across all Equestria, I’m afraid we simply cannot spare the extra supplies. If we did so, then another city would go hungry, and surely you do not desire that on your conscience, do you?” Celestia’s soft eyes bored into the official’s, who held firm for a moment, but then realized that he would not be winning this discussion, and nodded assent to her decision. Rising to her hooves, she surveyed the few remaining officials who had sought audience with her. Looking to the window, she could see that the sun was nearing the horizon, and would need her guidance to sink below it to make way for the moon. She turned her gaze back to the court in front of the throne. “Given the lateness of the hour, court will be postponed until the morning. I assure you, I take all of your concerns seriously, but the day has been long and there are other things that I must attend to.” Everypony present bowed respectfully as she descended the steps and left the throne room, Captain Flare falling in beside her as she passed him. Just outside the doors she could see Bastion Yorsets, a bundle of scrolls held in his magic. Motioning for him to follow her and Flare, she made her way towards her chambers. “Captain Flare, if you please dispatch a messenger to have Luna meet us at my chambers, I would be most grateful.”

“Yes, your Highness.” Flare caught a passing aide and asked him to locate Luna right away. The aide nodded and hurried off. The unicorn turned and caught back up with Celestia and Bastion as they reached the stairs to the Royal Quarters. “Princess, if I may…”

Celestia turned her head toward him as they climbed the ancient stone steps. “Of course Flare, what’s bothering you?”

Flare felt silly for feeling so nervous, but he pressed ahead anyway. “I was wondering if there had been any word from Captain Cloudhammer and the Bearers? I know the Captain’s more than up to the task, but still…”

Celestia smiled at him gently. “Truly it is heartening to see such concern for your friend, and I do worry for him as well. But we both know how strong Cloudhammer is, and the Bearers are strong as well. Between the two of them, I’ve every confidence in their ability to complete their mission.” Almost as punctuation to her words, a trail of sparkling smoke flew in through a window and resolved into a scroll, which Celestia deftly caught with her magic. “Look, a letter from Twilight, I was wondering when my student would write me. Let’s see what she has to say.”

As her eyes flicked down the scroll, Bastion could see the shadow of concern flicker across her face, which unnerved him more than he cared to admit. Celestia was always so assured, confident in both her subjects and herself. “What’s wrong, Celestia?”

“Twilight tells me they were ambushed by a pack of Lupus Minors during their journey, and that Cloudhammer was injured during the ensuing fight. Although it appears that they were able to tend to his wounds and that he suffered no lasting injury. She says he seemed to be warming up to them and spoke about some personal things with them…” As Celestia read that last part, Flare was taken aback. Cloudhammer, badly hurt by some Lupus Minors? He remembered from his first days in the Guard, when he’d seen the captain take on multiple pegasi half his age and give them all a sound thrashing. And sharing personal details about himself with mares he barely knew? It had taken him years to become as close as he was with the older pegasus, yet these mares had accomplished it in days? He felt a twinge of jealousy, but stamped it down and resolved that he had to meet these mares for himself one day. Who knew, maybe one of them was single. He shook himself out of his train of thought in time to catch the last of Celestia’s reading.

“It appears that something has been troubling the Captain after his speaking with us, his behavior has gone back to the way he acted when he first met us, as if putting a wall between his emotions and the outside world. I find myself worrying that something he’s not telling us is still bothering him. But don’t worry Princess, I hope to get the chance to speak with him soon. Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle.” Celestia rolled the scroll up and idly held it in her magic. Turning to Bastion as they reached the top of the stairs and turned towards her chambers, a massive pair of doors emblazoned with the symbol of the sun, she looked again at the pile of scrolls he was carrying. “Are those the reports from the other towns?”

The blue unicorn sighed, lifting one scroll from the others and opening it. “First, a report from my team scouring the archives for any more information that could help us. Unfortunately, it is as we feared. Too much water and age have rendered most if not all of the scrolls from that time intelligible. Such a waste of knowledge…” The unicorn’s eyes drifted to stare sadly into the distance, doubtless trying to comprehend the scale of information lost.

With a polite cough, Celestia opened the doors to her chambers. The room beyond was simple, yet elegantly furnished, with much of the furniture bearing sun imagery, or edged in gold, or sometimes both. The two unicorns following her stopped at the door, taking a moment to admire the room, while Celestia placed her crown on its rest on her dresser, and settled down wearily onto her bed. “What else, Bastion? How fare the other cities?”

Bastion sorted through the other scrolls in his bag. “Let me see… Ponyville reports a field manifested on the eastern side of town, near some dwellings. Fortunately nopony was caught in the initial appearance, and the area was evacuated in short order. Fillydelphia reports that a number of fields have appeared, the victim count remains moderately low, apparently the majority of occurrences were in the factory districts. The farther out towns are reporting no occurrences yet, though all appropriate precautions are being taken. Cloudsdale reported a small field interfered with their drift path, but fortunately the pegasi were able to shift key buildings out of the way. Manehatten only reports one field, but this one was massive, easily one hundred hooves across. Regrettably, the epicenter of the effect was directly across the street from the city hall, where a large protest had been ongoing. The Royal Guards that were sent there were caught in the effect as well, but have rallied a number of citizens to support them in helping the victims.”

Flare winced as he heard the news. He didn’t know the pegasi who had been dispatched, but Private Evergreen and Second Lieutenant Frost were good unicorns and good friends. He had personally overseen Frost’s elevation to her current rank, despite the opinion of some of the higher ups that her personality needed some work. He knew her better than that, despite her sunny demeanor which he himself had wondered at given her name, that a more steadfast Guard would be difficult to find.

“I see. Thank you very much, Bastion. You and your team are doing splendid work.” Bastion practically radiated confidence, and excused himself quietly.

Stopping at the door, he turned towards Flare. “I am sorry that your fellow Guards were caught up in this. If we can figure out how to help them, rest assured you will be the first to know.”

Flare nodded his thanks and Bastion left, the sound of his hoofsteps fading away. Celestia lay there on the bed for a moment, and then looked towards Flare. “And what about Canterlot? Has there been any more signs of the phenomenon?”

Flare thought for a moment. “There was a disturbance among the market road, but by the time the unicorns stationed here got there, nothing could be found. If it was even there to begin with.” He slammed his hoof angrily onto the floor. “I can’t stand this Princess. The waiting is killing both me and those under our command, not to mention the civilians. All the training the Guard gave us tells us to tackle a threat head on, but this?” He hung his head with a heavy sigh. “I’m beginning to wonder if there is anything we can do other than just try to pick up the pieces these fields leave behind.” He heard Celestia’s light laugh and shot an annoyed glance her way.

“My dear captain, sometimes I forget just how young you are, to hold the rank you do. Your concern for all the ponies under your protection, both Guard and civilian, is a sign that you truly deserve that rank. But do not despair so easily. Cloudhammer wouldn’t, and I know that you still seek his approval despite the differences between the Pegasi and Unicorn Guards.”

“But that’s because he’s Cloudhammer! He’s got this training drilled so deep into his bones that I wouldn’t be surprised if he could find the solution to this problem in his sleep!” Flare’s pent up frustration finally burst forth, leaving him breathing hard, while Celestia continued to regard him with that same smile. It only served to fuel his dark thoughts, and without even thinking, he blurted out, “And it doesn’t help that you just sit there and smile all the time while everypony else is out there afraid for their very way of life!” He clamped his mouth shut as he realized what he’d just said and instantly fell into a deep bow. “Princess, my outburst was uncalled for, I accept any punishment you deem appropriate.” He heard Celestia get off the bed and slowly make her way over to him.

“Rise, Captain.” He did so without even needing to tell himself to. Lifting his head, he saw her standing there in front of him, looking every inch the ruler that she was. “Captain Flare, you do not need to be so hard on yourself. You praise Captain Cloudhammer for his, admittedly, great skill, and you are right to do so. But I shall tell you this; there was a time when he was as uncertain as you are. Nopony is born with all the answers, not even myself. But if you have faith in both yourself and those around you, you will be able to find them. Don’t lose your own faith so easily my friend. Now, I think you need to go and rest, you’ve had a long day, and tomorrow will be just as long.”

Flare bowed again, before lifting his eyes to meet Celestia’s. “As you wish Princess… and thank you.” He turned and trotted out the door, gently closing them behind him.

Celestia’s eyes glowed softly with their own light as she extinguished the other light sources in the room. “You are very welcome.”

…

Cloudhammer and Rainbow had found the rest of the group quickly enough. They had continued to follow the gully until it faded back into the landscape. As the two swooped in, Rainbow landed first, only for Applejack and Twilight to corner her. The two ponies’ faces were marred by nearly identical scowls.

“RAINBOW! Ah can’t believe you’d go an act so darn stupid after everything we talked about back in tha clearin’!” Applejack sounded livid, though the expression on her face suggested irritation more than true anger.

“Applejack’s right Rainbow, you should know better than this!” Twilight chimed in, before rounding on Cloudhammer as he landed gingerly. “And you! I’m honestly shocked that you’d let Rainbow convince you to do something like this! You could have torn open your wounds with that stunt!”

Cloudhammer stood there, staring at her impassively, before turning to the south and starting to trot in that direction. “The rail line is close by. If we get moving, we can reach it and follow it for a ways. So I suggest you save the lecture for later, Twilight.”

Twilight’s face turned first scarlet, then white hot as her mane started to resemble flames, only for her anger to disappear as it hit her that he had referred to her by her first name. “Did he… did he just call me Twilight?”

Pinkie Pie stood next to her. “He sure did! I wonder why?”

Rainbow started laughing despite herself. “Because I beat his flank in our race. The deal was if he won I’d do whatever he told me to for a week, but if I won he’d loosen up and stop calling us Miss all the time. I’ll admit he was faster than I thought he’d be, but when we were flying past that rock formation, I got the idea to fly right into a rock wall, flip over at the last second, use my hind legs to launch myself towards another wall, repeat the kick, and doubled my speed in no time. He never knew what hit him!”

The others all looked at each other with confusion, before Applejack cuffed Rainbow on the back of the head. “Just don’t go tryin’ that again thar Rainbow. Ah swear ya’ll gave me a few gray hairs there with that straight down dive stunt.”

Laughing uproariously at Rainbow’s expression, the friends all followed after Cloudhammer.

It took them nearly an hour of walking, but the group eventually found the rails and started to follow them. The sun continued to beat down on them mercilessly, and Cloudhammer found himself wondering if they should have brought more water. Fortunately, if this town of Appleloosa was close by, they should be able to get some water from there to refill their supply. Looking up, he judged the amount of time left in the day, and looked to the left, where the rail was bordered by a rocky cliffside. Finally, he spotted a hollow carved out of the sheer wall, and gestured to it with a hoof. “We’ll stop here for the rest of the night. Rainbow, I want you to fly around and gather what brush you can find, we’ll want a fire to keep warm when the temperature starts to drop.”

Rainbow saluted with a smirk and took off, dipping down every so often to pick up a piece of brush she felt appropriate. After a few minutes she’d gathered a decent amount of material that they could burn. Cloudhammer nodded to her and then turned to Twilight. “I hope you at least know how to conjure fire Twilight.”

Twilight felt miffed, but decided she’d show him a thing or two and lit her horn. A small, multicolor flame that burned in the same colors as Celestia’s mane formed and floated down to the pile of brush they’d assembled in the mouth of the hollow. Soon a merry little fire was crackling, and all the ponies present admitted that the desert air had gotten a lot colder as the sun went down. Spike in particular scooted right up next to the fire, falling asleep almost instantly.

Cloudhammer watched as everypony else got their bedding out and turned around. He stopped as a small voice called out.

“C-Cloudhammer? Don’t you want to get some rest?” Fluttershy squeaked and hid behind her blanket as Cloudhammer turned his gaze back to her.

“Well, somepony has to take first watch, so I’ll handle it tonight. Rainbow Dash, you have second watch, Pinkie will take the third, alright?” He fixed Rainbow with his best stare, but she just laughed.

“Don’t think I haven’t forgotten, you didn’t win the race, so I don’t HAVE to follow your orders. But sure, I’ll do it this time.” With that, she flopped back onto her own pad, pulled her blanket up, and was asleep in moments.

Cloudhammer shook his head irritably, muttering something to himself about ‘fillies these days’ as he trotted to a small hill that sat near the hollow’s entrance. The rest of the group soon was asleep, leaving the pegasus to watch as the last light of the sun slid below the horizon, and the night sky soon filled with uncountable thousands of stars and the massive white orb of the moon.

Comments

[Cloudhammer]

Many thanks go to Sir Buck Apple, who lent a hoof with proofreading

[Rust]

Shazam!

Thank you, thank you.

No, really, you can stop clapping now. I insist!

[Cloudhammer]

132797 Thanks a lot for the reply, will try to address some of what you mentioned, and fix some of the things that could use improving

I've always been a fan of having descriptions of environments down to as much detail as possible. This is due in part ot me being obssessive over it, but also that I want the reader to be able to 'see' the world that the characters move through, as if they were standing there themselves.

As for the insertions of backstory, that's also due to me being a little obssessive, since I really dislike it when I read about a character doing a thing, and then not understand the why behind their action. So I want to try to explain their motivation, and it ends up being a show rather than tell, for instance, since I could easily just say, "Cloudhammer remembered the time that Flare saved them from a griffon assassination plot." but I find it much more engaging to take a trip down memory lane and involve the reader in the memory as if they were reliving it themselves.

And i agree about the paragraphs, I try to keep them short-ish, but my writing style sometimes gets the better of me (I like to just write sentences, paragraphs, chapters and stories until I feel they're done, rather than try to lock down every aspect of it before I write the first word)

[Cloudhammer]

139770 Yea, I didn't intend for it to be that long, but I just couldn't make myself stop until I felt that I'd hit a good stop point

[primalcorn1]

140084
I know that feeling. It's a good feeling

[Da Bunnana King]

Wait when did this update oh god I'm so behind. Must read and put off chapter 6 or whatever I'm on to read.

[Rainbow Sparkle]

Shhhh, its okay Cloudhammer. The Mane six have that sort of effect on people. It probably has something to do with the fact that their the Elements of Harmony. I will say that i was just a tad surprised that Rainbow won the race, though I should have known that with the direction the story was going. It would have been amusing though if Twilight had gone all Rapidash there, seeing Cloudhammers reaction to that would have been glorious!

[Warwolf]

I dunno, man. Celestia still comes off as weird to me. I think part of the problem is the way she talks half the time.

[SolitariLupus]

Was decent but Cloudhammer has fallen so ooc it ain't funny. Going from one second saying he ain't gonna tell them his life story to buckling a min later. Then racing RD when he should be keeping his military bearing. It's like a completely different character with the same name. For being a strict by the book hardliner Captain, hes turned into a damn door mat. I'm out.

[Cloudhammer]

10155361
I appreciate you giving it a try, I'll freely admit to not having any kind of idea as far as how to write way back when I started (although I still don't now, so there's that )