Okay, I finished reading it. It's awesome, But I recommend using something like this ~~~~ to mark transitions, no matter how short they are.

>>11396781139678  Will do, thank you for your input, it helps more then you think.

>>11417021141702 Oh trust me...I know. My first story was horrible.

Authors note for chapter two: Sorry for it being so short, but I needed a chapter to introduce the two parties. Also I couldn't help but end the chapter there. Sorry about that, but it was too perfect, in my opinion. Anyway, have a good day.

Jumps to near death fall into a river, wakes up in forest. Doesn't give 1 shit.

Sleeps in unknown forest and is fully aware that he's being watched. Doesn't give 2 shits.

Sees dragon about to eat ponies, charges in to fight with a knife like a boss. Doesn't give 3 shits.

Wins fight against dragon with said knife.

Image: http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/177/738/Dovahkiin.jpg

>>11626111162611 Win

Oh gawd! Lyra!

>>12020401202040 indeed.

Image: http://images.memewow.com/memes/6/724/futurama-fry-wait-a-minute_thumb.jpg

How did Luna know what an mp3 player is?

>>12022371202237 In this world, Equestria is quite modern, except its all magic instead of electricity. Think about it, at least a thousand years, could be more, of being ruled by a goddess, that means no religious war, and with the help of magic, it wouldn't take nearly as much time as it would for us to develop modern technologies.

*Squee*!

Image: http://a0.twimg.com/profile_images/1900488678/guitar_silhouette.gif

In this world or another it remains tried and true. Chicks dig a man who can play music.

I salute your taste in music.

>>12508431250843

I listen to everything, but I spend a good four or five ours a week looking for a song that conveys the feeling of the chapters, and the personal emotions of John Claud. You'll see a lot more genres of music in the future, but I promise that all of it will be relevant and enjoyable.

P.S.

Thanks for the complement

I still like this. Don't worry.

>>12022961202296 I haven't read the story yet, but anyhow, it may seem strange but I always think that their reliance on magic holds them back, like they don't pay that much attention to technology when they have spells to do everything. Anyway, I'll check this out some time soon and give some proper feedback. Sorry for kinda wasting your time

>>13199321319932  Nothing is a waste of time. Hearing back from readers and, in your case, potential readers always makes me happy, It's one of the reasons I keep putting effort into my writing. Also your point of view is helpful in my development of the world of Equestria. I can't wait to hear more from you!

>>13197531319753  Oh, you have no Idea.

Alright, now for proper feedback! The whole thing seems a little rushed, but it's not a major problem, it depends on personal taste in stories, and there are quite a lot of errors, once again it's nothing major. I'll keep reading it for now and see how it goes, good luck!

>>13202521320252  I'm not surprised with your findings. I don't have an editor or pre-reader, and this story is kind of an experiment of mine, I've never written a story with this kind of perspective. I try my best to keep it as smooth as possible, but I don't always succeed. But I must thank you for the feedback and I'll keep trying hard to keep the story readable. Thank you, and have a great day!

>>13203011320301 You too

You might want to look into getting an editor, they'll be doing it for nothing in their spare time so if you can find one it's definitely a worthy 'investment'. If you do have a look and are struggling, I'm willing to do it, but I wouldn't recommend myself as a first choice, I am knowledgable on spelling and grammar but Sixth Form is taking its toll on my time and I also edit for a few other authors. Once again, good luck!

OK, I'm liking where you're taking this story so far. Might want to slow down the pacing a bit though, everything's a little rushed right now.

Also I'd definitely look into getting an editor- you've got typos and some homophonic errors here and there and it can get a little distracting.

>>14171961417196 I've been looking... everyone seems to have an editor, but when I come into the picture... the editors are like an endangered specie.

>>14179071417907

Here's a Group dedicated to proof readers if you need one.

If you don't want to go through that, I'd be happy to take care of it for you.

>>14195351419535 Thank you! Also, quality should be going up since it's just me working on this story now, and I'll have time to read my own work.

John. Also, I would beh happeh to proofreahd fo u. lololo!!1

>>14499261449926 I've already found someone, but a third set of eyes would be welcome. I'll be gone for a while though so It will be hard to reach me for... well... a while.

>>14525311452531 Mmmmkay, you do that. Just get back to UPDATES! Yeah!

please update

>>17877271787727 I will eventually. This fic isn't dead, just full of bad memories now... I'll get to it after Christmas, but until then I can't really promise a new update. I am truly sorry, but things happen....

i understand i can wait .take care

What appended to the rest ?

>>23717412371741 They went their own way... one joined the marines, and I have no clue what happened to the others.

Not even remotely realistic. Even for a pony fic.

>>23816452381645 What part. Also, the author of this fic is no longer with us so this fic has been cancelled. If you wish to give relevant criticism, then I suggest you read the reimagining I wrote in memory of this fic... it's called The Equestrian Trace. There is a link in the last chapter.