• Published 21st Aug 2012
  • 3,794 Views, 134 Comments

How Do You Shoot a Gun With Hooves? - defender2222



Kate Beckett and Rick Castle find themselves transported to Ponyville and learning about friendship

  • ...
8
 134
 3,794

The Arrival Part 3

Beckett and Castle squirmed, pressing their hooves to their heads as they were assaulted by 5 agitated, startled 20-something ponies, each of who seemed to be trying to beat the others in a game of "who can yell the loudest". Even Fluttershy had been so startled by the innocent question that she forgot all sense of softness and had joined in on the shriek-fest.

"How is it you don't-"

"She's only the-"

"Everyone knows-"

"Just what do you-"

"It makes no-"

Beckett's eye twitch. If any of the ponies had been one of the many criminals she had arrested, they would have soiled themselves and gone screaming out of the library. When Kate Beckett made that face things never ended well. The part of her that was a cop, that would never change even as she grew older and wise and maybe even changed species, suddenly burst to the forefront. Kate Beckett was shoved aside and Detective Beckett, NYPD, was in the driver's seat.

She brought her hoof to her mouth and issued such an ear splitting whistle that all of the girls went silent, brains aching at the sonic attack.

Castle, for his part, slowly uncovered his ears. "How did you do that?"

"Whistle? Just purse your lips and blow," Beckett said, misquoting the famous line.

"No...I mean whistle like that without fingers."

Beckett looked at her right hoof and frowned. "Uh..." Noticing they had an audience, Beckett pushed aside the question. It was time for her to take command of the situation and stop being a passive participant. She'd been letting other pe…ponies run the show since she got here and she was sick of it. She might be lacking fingers and now have a desire to eat grass, but she was still Kate Beckett, darn it!

'Darn it?' Beckett wondered, her 'I am woman, hear me roar' empowerment blocked for a moment when she realized, with dread, that she could no longer swear. Heck, she couldn't even think of the words...she knew they existed...but when she tried to call them forth all she got was the Saturday Matinee, Rated PG vulgarity.

Apparently this sugar coated pony land was having an effect on her mind.

She shook her head, mane whipping back and forth as she forced herself to focus on the task at hand…hoof…whatever.

"Alright...now you all have questions for us. We have some ourselves. But I am not going to be bombarded with them, and neither is my partner." Castle slowly rose to his feet; this was classic Kate Beckett and it was easy to forget she was wearing pastel colors when she was getting into her groove. "So, you can either take the time to ask us in a reasonable, civilized manner...or Castle and I can leave and find someone else to ask." She leveled them with a cool stare. "Understood?"

The girls all shifted, each feeling like they had been chastened by a favorite teacher. For Applejack and Rarity, it was a strange role reversal: They suddenly found themselves playing the role their little sisters usually found themselves in. Rainbow Dash, who normally bucked against such treatment, found herself lowering her head and looking at the floor in shame and Fluttershy had her wings pressed so tight to her body it was surprising they hadn’t been sucked inside of her. Twilight found herself half cowering and half wanting to plead with Beckett to teach her how to talk like that.

"Why do you say that?" Everyone looked up to find Pinkie Pie leaning over the railing on the second floor, chewing on an apple. "It's somepony, not someone. Everyone knows that!"

Beckett and Castle shared a look, realizing that this world really was different than theirs in more ways than the dominate species.

"It's just how people from where we come from talk," Castle said. "You know...like how Rarity and Applejack talk different from the rest of you."

“We do?” Rarity and Applejack asked in confusion, even as the others nodded.

"...okie dokie loki!" Pinkie Pie hopped down the stairs, giggling happily.

"Now then...any other questions?" Beckett asked.

Applejack swung her tail back and forth. "Sorry to be yellin' at ya'll...just we never heard of any pony who didn't know who Princess Celestia was."

"Well, we haven't. Unless Kate Middleton's real name is Celestia..." Castle joked, only to see his witty remark flew over their heads. “Wow…tough room.”

Twilight frowned, unable to wrap her mind around the idea that her beloved mentor was unknown to anypony. "Princess Celestia is the ruler of Equestria, along with her sister Princess Luna. Celestia controls the sun and governs over many aspects of our lives."

"Huh...so basically a god is your government...somewhere Pat Robertson is doing a happy dance."

Beckett glared at Castle before turning back to Twilight. "Well, we have never heard of Princess Celestia."

"But you must have!" Rarity exclaimed. "You said you were from Manehattan...that isn't that far from Canterlot..." Castle groaned at all the horse-puns, "so I simply don't see how you couldn't know her!"

"Maybe that's what the Princess' letter meant," Fluttershy said softly, her wings shifting with nervous energy.

"Letter?" Beckett asked.

Twilight smacked her head with her hoof. "Geez...duh, Twilight." She raced around the library, trying to find the scroll. "Princess Celestia sent me a letter the other day...where is it..."

The front door opened and a small purple and green lizard trotted in, happily munching on a ruby.

"Holy cow, you have scaly rats!" Castle exclaimed, rearing up. "Don't worry, I'll kill it!"

"Twilight!" the little lizard screamed, running away from Castle and hiding behind Twilight's back legs.

Twilight looked at Castle, an eyebrow raised. "Don’t have dragons where you come from?"

"I think you'll find that our Manhattan is a bit different from your Manehattan," Beckett said simply, ears twitching.

Twilight, meanwhile, was trying to comfort her assistant. "Spike, it's ok...this is Kate and Rick...Princess Celestia sent us a letter about them, remember? Do you know where it went?"

The dragon, glad to have something to occupy his mind and force out thoughts about the stomping he had almost received, happily nodded his head. “Sure, Twilight! I think I left it over here!” He hurried over as quickly as he could to a pile of scrolls and books, diving in and rooting around for the right one.

Beckett glanced at Castle, who gave her a sheepish grin that seemed to say “How was I suppose to know they had dragons?” Beckett merely mouthed “Play Nice” before making her way over to where Twilight was watching over Spike. “Seems like none of us are making good first impressions.”

Twilight glanced at her and blushed. “Yeah…though this has been better than how I first met Pinkie Pie.”

“What did she do?”

“Scream and run away.”

“There is a story there.”

“Oh yeah.”

The two of them shared a look before they began to laugh.

Twilight sighed. It felt good to chuckle, especially after she had been so sure that her and her friends had offended Beckett and Castle. It was strange…she had only met the mare a few minutes ago but already Twilight wanted to desperately win her approval. Maybe it was because, even though Beckett was just a few years older than her, she appeared so much more mature and confident than Twilight felt.

‘She can walk into a room and take control and everypony will jump to her call. She sees somepony that is confused or scared and she knows just what to do to make it all better. And when things get bad she reacts in just the right way to set things straight!’ Twilight looked at Beckett from under hooded eyes. She’d never admit it to the older woman, but Beckett, more than Candace or Princess Celestia or any pony she had known, was what Twilight would want a big sister to be like.

Of course, Twilight would have been startled to learn that Beckett was watching her and wondering just how much better her life could have been if she had let go of her need to isolate herself a bit sooner and, like Twilight, have made real, true friends. Oh, she hung out with Lanie and Ryan and Esposito and…Castle…but it wasn’t the same. She was wise enough to admit that the relationships Twilight had with her friends were stronger than anything Beckett had with anyone save maybe Castle. It was clear that Twilight and her friends were more than friends, they were family…and that was something Beckett wished she had.

“So…” Twilight said awkwardly, trying to avoid discussing her feelings. “Are you and Richard…”

“We’re partners. He helps me with cases.”

Twilight frowned. “But he’s a writer.”

“Yeah, tell me about it,” Beckett groused.

“How does that happen?”

Beckett tried to think how to explain it to the purple unicorn. “Imagine if Pinkie Pie were really famous. And imagine Princess Celestia really liked Pinkie and would do anything Pinkie asked…including partnering her up with you.”

“…yeah, I could see how that could be strange, especially if you are forced to hang out with him.”

Beckett watched as Castle said something to the ponies that caused them all to laugh. Leave it to Richard Castle, in any body, to find a way to make friends. “We aren’t forced anymore…I’d never tell him this, but I doubt I could solve as many cases as I do without him. He’s a good friend.” Beckett gave Twilight a quick look. “Again…never tell him.”

“Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” Beckett stared at Twilight in confusion. “Uh…that means I promise.”

“Ah.” Beckett shifted to avoid a book Spike had tossed out of the way. “So Princess Celestia…how do you two know each other?”

“How do you know we know each other?” Twilight asked.

“Detective, Twilight. I am paid to read people.” Beckett decided to lay out her train of thought, feeling for a moment like Sherlock Holmes, but figured that was better than feeling like an awkward pony. “It is clear you and your friends respect the Princess, but not just as if she were a distant politician. You respect her and you come to her defense…it is clear you care about her and I’ve found that we rarely care about people that passionately that we don’t know personally.”

Twilight’s grin grew quite big at Beckett’s logical deduction. It was so rare to have someone lay out their thoughts in such a rational, mature manner. “Wow…you must be an amazing Detective.”

“One of Manhattan’s best. Now…the Princess?”

Twilight smiled softly as she used her magic to pull down a framed photo of Princess Celestia and herself as a youngster. It was a silly photo of the Princess trying to hold back her laughter as a young Twilight, decked out a poofy dress, grinned happily. The unicorn had thought she needed to dress special for her first day as the Princess’ student and gotten her mouth to pull out her frilliest dress. Celestia, bless her, had not laughed a bit when little Twilight walked up and happily proclaimed herself ‘ready to learn!’

“The Princess is the reason I am who I am. She was the first pony to believe in me…she made me her personal student and taught me everything I know about magic.” Twilight smiled fondly as she rubbed her horn against the picture. “And she is the reason I have my friends. She made me see the value of friendship and I write to her whenever I can, letting her know all I learned.”

“She sounds pretty special. I hope I get to meet her.”

“Oh, you will!” Spike said, pulling out at last the scroll. “Found it!”

“Thank you, Spike,” Beckett and Twilight both said, before heading back to the other ponies.

Pinkie Pie was rolling on the floor, giggling like mad. “Oh! Oh! And what if the army of Pegasi used cupcake cannons?”

“I don’t know, I still think the zombies would win,” Castle said with a grin.

“Dear God their bonding,” Beckett whimpered, dreading the thought of Castle and Pinkie teaming up. It would be like mixing cocaine with Red Bull.

“Castle here was just explainin’ how he comes up with his stories,” Applejack said. “Amazin’ how he can take a small thing and turn it into some wild adventure.”

Rainbow Dash nodded. “Hey Twilight, you mind if I borrow his book? I need something to tide me over till the next Daring Do book comes out and I think Filly Heat sounds like my kind of pony!”

Fluttershy nodded. “Oh yes…she is so brave and honest…”

“And don’t forget brilliant and beautiful!” Rarity added.

Beckett had the decency to blush, which didn’t go unnoticed by the writer. “You tell them who you based your character on, Castle, or you just take all the credit.”

“Beckett, you wound me!” Castle placed a hoof on his chest. “I was just getting ready to inform them about my muse before Pinkie Pie distracted me.”

“Who is Filly based on?” Rarity asked. “Some daring, heroic mare?”

“You could say that…” Castle said, nodding towards the now overly blushing Beckett.

“You!?” Pinkie squealed. “You’re Filly Heat! That is so cool and amazing and super special awesome! You must be really amazing to have a book based on you! I’d love a book based on me! It would be full of adventures and parties and cupcakes and…”

Beckett waved off the gushing the other ponies sent her way. “Girls, I’m just like the rest of you. I put my…” Beckett paused, wondering if the ‘pants one leg at a time’ metaphor worked here. Deciding not to risk it, she turned towards Twilight, who was now even more star struck than before, if that was possible. “Twilight and Spike found Princess Celestia’s letter. I personally want to hear what she wrote about Castle and I.”

“Got it right here, Miss Beckett,” Spike said.

“Kate, Spike. Call me Kate.”

Castle leaned down, grinning as he inspected the baby dragon. “This is so cool…he’s like a scaly Ryan! Hey, do you have a tough partner that you crack wise with?”

“Uh…no.” Spike considered Castle’s words. “But that would be totally cool!”

“It would, wouldn’t it? We could come up with a name that is a combo of your two news and use it while you ran around…”

“I see why she was afraid of him bonding with Pinkie Pie,” Rarity muttered to Applejack, who nodded in agreement. Twilight, meanwhile, was trying to explain to Spike why he couldn’t have a ‘tough partner to crack wise with’.

“Yeah, that would be terrible!” Pinkie added. “Uh…what were we talking about?”

“Spike, the letter,” Twilight said, trying to get things back on track.

“Right…ahem…’My Faithful Student Twilight Sparkle: Tomorrow, two new ponies will be arriving in Ponyville; their names are Kate Beckett and Richard Castle. I have already arranged for a house to be prepared for them, so they will feel at home. Mr. Castle and Det. Beckett are not from Equestria, so I ask that you help teach them all about our culture and how we live and have fun. They may act different than you and you may be confused by their questions, but they are good ponies and I know you 8 will grow to be fast friends. I will be arriving as soon as I can to speak with them and explain how they came here. Sincerely, Princess Celestia’. That’s it, Twilight.”

Castle and Beckett shared a look of surprise. It was startling enough to know they had ended up in the world and in these bodies…but from the sounds of it Princess Celestia understood why they were here…and might know how to get them home.

It took only a look for the two of them to silently agree that they should keep their non-pony status a secret for the time being and instead play along till they had a chance to talk with the monarch.

“Well, that was rather cryptic,” Rarity complained. “Still, it answers quite a bit!”

Fluttershy walked up to them, her head down slightly. “So I guess you will be staying in town for a few days …”

Castle nodded. “Looks that way, Fluttershy.”

“Boy howdy, the Princess was right to pick us! We’ll get you two squared away and have you acting like real Ponyville citizens in no time!”

“Yeah…stick with us and we will show you all sorts of cool things!” Rainbow Dash bragged.

“And I bet we can teach you a thing or two also,” Castle said.

Pinkie grinned, wrapping her arms around Castle and Beckett and giving them a hug. “This is so cool! Hey, we should throw a party to celebrate…wait, we are already at a party…can we throw a party within a party? Because if we can that would be soooooo amazing! It would be like putting a donut inside a cake! Hey, we should bake donuts and put them in cakes…”

Castle and Beckett glanced at each other, wondering if they would SURVIVE long enough to meet the Princess…