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Samrules350 1442

Joined July 2012
11 followers

    Samrules350's Stories (1)

    • Guitarist in Equestria
      A guitarist from earth goes to Equestria.

      6,451 words · 831 views · 36 likes · 6 dislikes

    This story is about Sam, a guitar player from earth. when things go south on a plane ride he crashes into an unknown place and he has no clue what to do.

    Wow guys, thanks for taking time out of your day to read this!

    It means alot to me for my first fic!

    Alright guys story Is completed for now, There will be a sequel!

    First Published
    20th Aug 2012
    Last Modified
    24th Aug 2012

    Comments ( 95 )

    #1 · Chapter 2 · 38w, 5d ago · · ·
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    wait so is he still human?

    #2 · Chapter 2 · 38w, 5d ago · · ·
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    Sorry, sorry. I had to use it. :rainbowkiss:

    Anyways,

    This..... Isn't bad. Nah, not too shabby. Other than the cliche 'unconsciousness' there is nothing too much to complain about. Wha- My god... YOU CAN SPELL CORRECTLY?!?! PARAGRAPHS?!? ALMOST PERFECTED?!?! :yay:

    *Opens chapter 2*

    :rainbowderp:

    In terms of formatting, you want to use italics for any inner thoughts.

    Example:

    Well, moment of truth time... ‘Oh no what if they get suspicious, WHAT IF THEY DON’T LIKE ME!’ I panic as everyone is still staring at me (And when people are staring or paying lots of attention to me I get really shy...) ‘ oh no not staring... they might as well call me shy strings..’ ‘hmm, Shy Strings...’

    Should be:

    Well, moment of truth time...

    Oh no what if they get suspicious, WHAT IF THEY DON’T LIKE ME! I panic as everyone is still staring at me (And when people are staring or paying lots of attention to me I get really shy...)

    oh no not staring... they might as well call me shy strings.. hmm, Shy Strings...

    Same rules as if you were using quotations.

    Also, try not to add those little breaks in the story with your own thoughts.

    ‘How about Pick Strings...? maybe I don’t know’ I keep thinking about random stuff when one of the ponies say (in one of the most quiet voice I might add...)

    It prevents the reader from keeping themselves immersed when you pop in to make a little note.

    Now... story critique time!

    Your OC survived a plane crash. A deadly plane crash. If he could feel and see fire burning his body while he was inside, it is alot more serious than just 'keeping a large bandage on it for 3 days.' No, he would most likely have 3rd degree burns in which case it would take anywhere from 3-5 weeks to heal. Also, I seriously hope you will reference to his burns as a weakness later on... To be consistent. :raritywink:

    No... It can't be... NO PLEASE NO!

    “Is it just me or is Shy kind of cute?” asked Fluttershy

    I mean... Sure, I can take shipping in a story nowadays. That shit sells like hotcakes and people eat it up every time if done right. But in a story with an OC, which is usually the author himself, trying to fulfill his fantasies with one of the known cast, it comes off extremely cliche in alot of fics and terribly forced. Unless your someone extremely experienced with the whole 'shipping' do-dad, it hardly ever works.

    Best of luck to you, I spent too much damn time writing this! :twilightsheepish:

    #3 · Chapter 2 · 38w, 5d ago · · ·
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    >>1124537 He went from human to pony after the crash from a mysterious force ( from a quick change from earth to equestria)

    >>1124558  

    Thanks you for this, this will really help me out!  :yay:

    I've got plans for this whole fluttershy thing :trollestia:

    #4 · Chapter 2 · 38w, 5d ago · · ·
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    To continue the massive comment above me, I agree with him.

    The story isn't that bad, but it has been done a thousand times. A human going through some weird crash/portal and ending up in Equestria. It was good the first time, I'm sure, but there needs to be something original. And I don't mean original as in your OC plays guitar, I mean story changing original. The last thing anyone wants to read is a story about how some low life from Earth finds his happiness amongst the ponies in Equestria. No amount of formatting, grammar correction or perfect spelling could fix that.

    That being said, your grammar, spelling and formatting are quite good. For a first timer, you remind me a lot of myself which is why I'm leaving you this comment. Just make sure to change the game up a little. Make it unique, and create lots of conflict. That's the key to turning some random HiE fic into gold. Also, be as realistic as possible. The guy above me mentioned something about the 3rd degree burns, and I agree. Just try your best to switch it up a little, and create something that nobody has done before.

    Good luck!

    #5 · Chapter 2 · 38w, 5d ago · · ·
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    >>1124604

    Thank you, I've got plans to make this whole thing unique, Hehe...:trollestia:

    #6 · Chapter 1 · 38w, 5d ago · · ·
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    I like it:pinkiehappy:  I was listing to Plug In Baby while reading. MUSE FTW!!!!!!:pinkiecrazy:

    #7 · Chapter 2 · 38w, 5d ago · · ·
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    Pacing and punctuation needs work, but I'll track it to see where it goes.

    #8 · Chapter 2 · 38w, 5d ago · · ·
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    >>1124681 muse ftw

    >>1124687 Alright sweet man, I'll work on that!

    #9 · Chapter 2 · 38w, 5d ago · · ·
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    Alright I got chapter one proofread, Most if not all errors in punctuation should be fixed.

    I'll fix the rest in a bit!

    #10 · Chapter 2 · 38w, 5d ago · · ·
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    Changed the thoughts in chapter 2 to italics!

    And I changed time from 3 days to 3 weeks before the bandage can be permanently removed!

    #11 · Chapter 2 · 38w, 5d ago · · ·
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    Basically the major issues have already been addressed. However, I shall throw my hat in as well!

    Where someone asked if Sam turned into a pony or not, it raises a good point. I myself had a tough time figuring out if he was human or not. Its easy as a writer to forget about these points, because you think they are obvious. But you have to read your story with the mind of a reader who has no idea what your story is about. There really is no way of knowing if he did change, because you provided no details of it happening.

    Oh, and this is just a personal quip of mine, but I dislike how much of the thoughts consist of him telling himself to think. To me, its just filler text that contributes nothing to the actual story.

    You have lots of potential as a writer, you have the foundation set for being one, now you just need experience to hone it to a fine art. I look forward to seeing more from you, I really do! For this being your first story, you show a lot of skill that will only be honed and perfected with time:pinkiehappy:

    #12 · Chapter 2 · 38w, 5d ago · · ·
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    very original :twilightsmile:

    #14 · Chapter 2 · 38w, 5d ago · · ·
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    >>1125065

    Thank you!

    >>1125091

    Thank you!

    >>1125104

    And thank you :trollestia:

    #15 · Chapter 1 · 38w, 5d ago · · ·
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    Well I like where this is going, but what is up with the Friend Dead part? :unsuresweetie::unsuresweetie:

    #16 · Chapter 2 · 38w, 5d ago · · ·
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    >>1125209

    Hehehe, what everyone fails to realize is that I have everything all planned out for the next few chapters.

    You never know whats gonna happen next :trollestia::trollestia::trollestia:

    #17 · Chapter 2 · 38w, 5d ago · · ·
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    Hey, dude.....guess what.....*whisper* Grammar.

    Capitalize the names....Oh, and make sure to have him play a few Slash songs. Like this.

    #18 · Chapter 2 · 38w, 4d ago · · ·
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    I REQUIRE MORE!

    #19 · Chapter 2 · 38w, 4d ago · · ·
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    I inspired you to write this? This amazing thing?! Whaaaaaaaaaa???????

    Also… Fluttershy/Human OC shipping?! BEST STORY EVER!!!!!!!

    -MarkusBrony (Skyblaze)

    PS.

    I also play guitar and speak another language (Spanish). Most relatable character ever!

    #20 · Chapter 2 · 38w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>1128464

    You sir have just made my day... :pinkiesad2:

    #21 · Chapter 3 · 38w, 4d ago · · ·
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    Sorry about a short chapter three, I usually put up 2 chapters a day so... expect one more

    Unless I'm really bored! :trollestia:

    #22 · Chapter 3 · 38w, 4d ago · · ·
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    *strokes false goatee* yes, yes

    I see this story developing. *grins darkly* I shall be waiting…

    #23 · Chapter 3 · 38w, 4d ago · · ·
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    Yeah, another chapter! Story gets interesting after every second!

    And he should better learn how to play a guitar with his magic soon, otherwise, his talent will be very obscured.

    Anyway, keep up with the story, you're been doing good so far!

    #24 · Chapter 4 · 38w, 4d ago · · ·
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    pinkie pie luna vinly scratch octavia derpy doctor whooves :pinkiehappy:

    #25 · Chapter 4 · 38w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>1129080

    I will take this into consideration! :pinkiehappy:

    Well I feel bad for what I'm gonna' put Strings through now...

    #26 · Chapter 4 · 38w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>1129066

    Thank you! :twilightsmile:

    #27 · Chapter 4 · 38w, 4d ago · · ·
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    Of course, I'd like to see Lyra. :P

    #28 · Chapter 4 · 38w, 4d ago · · ·
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    I request slash songs....If that's allowed. Oh and this

    Skip to 24 seconds.

    #29 · Chapter 4 · 38w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>1129236

    When I make a chapter that fits the song, I will put lyrics from the songs into some character lines.

    Just like I did with madness, except I'll take a more direct approach with adding in lines.

    #30 · Chapter 4 · 38w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>1129200

    And yes there will be lyra!

    Holy crap, so many comments! :trollestia:

    #31 · Chapter 4 · 38w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>1129267 SUCCESS!

    #32 · Chapter 4 · 38w, 4d ago · · ·
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    CARNIVOUR DERPY

    #33 · Chapter 5 · 38w, 4d ago · · ·
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    Chapter 4 out MOTHERBUCKERS!!! I took some of your requests!

    #34 · Chapter 5 · 38w, 4d ago · · ·
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    You rock man.

    #35 · Chapter 5 · 38w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>1130068

    I'm a guitarist why wouldn't I rock ? :trollestia:

    And this will probably be the last chapter for today, my brain hurts...

    #36 · Chapter 5 · 38w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>1130133 I'm saying you rock for taking suggestions. But yea, last chapter for today is cool. You have been working your ass off.

    #37 · Chapter 5 · 38w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>1130144

    Hehe, I'll still put out 2 every day.

    And im always taking suggestions

    just put

    # of chapter:

    What song:

    or

    What ponies:

    #38 · Chapter 5 · 38w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>1130208 You updating once a day would be more than what I put out on a weekly basis....

    #39 · Chapter 5 · 38w, 4d ago · · ·
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    Good sir, I give you… STANDING OVATION!!!

    …oh, wait, you can't see me…

    HAVE A MUSTACHE!!!:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

    #40 · Chapter 5 · 38w, 4d ago · · ·
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    needs more coheed and cambria and good job on the new chapters!

    #41 · Chapter 5 · 38w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>1130423

    Thanks man, And yes maybe I'll put in cambria song :trollestia:

    #42 · Chapter 5 · 38w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>1130468 Well there is only one conflict and that is what song to pick they have so much songs that I like but I will let you go for what you like! :rainbowkiss:

    #43 · Chapter 5 · 38w, 4d ago · · ·
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    Hmm, yes, that's awesome! Finally Shy Strings got to play the guitar!

    Oh, and when you make Chapter 5, instead of making straightly a new chapter, copy and paste this into the Author's Note chapter you made earlier, then paste Chapter 5 over this chapter. Just so it doesn't haves incorrect numbers......you know what I mean.

    #44 · Chapter 5 · 38w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>1130934

    Meh, It doesn't really matter. :trollestia:

    P.s. Pyro is best tf2 character

    #45 · Chapter 5 · 38w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>1130963

    Hmm, yeah, but then it would prevent from it being noted as 'Chapter 5' while in reality it is Chapter 4.

    Yeah, Pyro's my favorite tf2 character.

    #46 · Chapter 5 · 38w, 4d ago · · ·
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    ..derpy...lawl...shes probably thinking of shy strings in a muffin costume playing his music :rainbowkiss:

    #47 · Chapter 5 · 38w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>1131986

    Lawl indeed, lawl indeed...

    #48 · Chapter 6 · 38w, 3d ago · · ·
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    There you guys go, Chapter 5 Part 1! :trollestia: :trollestia: :trollestia:

    #49 · Chapter 6 · 38w, 3d ago · · ·
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    I play guitar! Why I no have mares run me down?! I'm so lonely…

    #50 · Chapter 6 · 38w, 3d ago · · ·
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    >>1135486

    I know how you feel man...

    #51 · Chapter 2 · 38w, 3d ago · · ·
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    >>1128464 you speak spanish to? ESO ES COMPADRE!!

    #52 · Chapter 6 · 38w, 3d ago · · ·
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    im kinda glad that im not threatend by a stampede of wild mares.... not at least i do something with my guitar skils in life i dont want that kind of life threatning experiences

    #53 · Chapter 6 · 38w, 3d ago · · ·
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    I don't get why Fluttershy was being so agressive to him.

    Also, you are forgetting some punctuations on your story. It becomes very annoying to read 'em. For example, instead of this:

    “For nearly breaking my door down”

    “Oh, sorry about that”

    It should be like this:

    “For nearly breaking my door down!”

    “Oh, sorry about that.”

    #54 · Chapter 6 · 38w, 3d ago · · ·
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    >>1135731

    Sorry bout' that. Fixed.

    #55 · Chapter 6 · 38w, 3d ago · · ·
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    “For nearly breaking my door down!”

    “Oh, sorry about that.”

    What I would have said.

    "Hey, SCREW YOU!"
    I don't care if I would've gotten thrown out of her house.

    #56 · Chapter 6 · 38w, 3d ago · · ·
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    >>1136123

    Thrown out of her house and molested / hospitalized by half of ponyville's mares? :unsuresweetie:

    #57 · Chapter 6 · 38w, 3d ago · · ·
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    #58 · Chapter 6 · 38w, 3d ago · · ·
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    >>1136153

    You sir have earned my respect :yay:

    #59 · Chapter 6 · 38w, 3d ago · · ·
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    >>1136174 Besides, they wouldn't have noticed me. I am the Perception Filter.

    #60 · Chapter 7 · 38w, 3d ago · · ·
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    Alright people last chapter for today, I'm not gonna' write anything for tomorrow ( probably will but not alot maybe one chapter ) as I'm really tired of staring at screens.

    Thanks for reading this story, you all rock!

    #61 · Chapter 7 · 38w, 3d ago · · ·
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    Oh SHIT! Lyra used to be a human? WTF??!!!!??!?!?!

    #62 · Chapter 7 · 38w, 3d ago · · ·
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    >>1136432 My thoughts exactly... :twilightoops::rainbowderp:

    #63 · Chapter 7 · 38w, 3d ago · · ·
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    Schist? You used schist?! With Luna as my witness, I do say I am extremely flattered that you would use that. Keep up the good work, bro!

    #64 · Chapter 7 · 38w, 3d ago · · ·
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    Nice story! But still...

    ...with a amp...

    Should be this:

    ...with an amp...

    As these:

    “Sorry I might’ve overreacted there”

    “And I don’t have a back door”

    “Lyra how did you get all these guitars?”

    “WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME, UGH DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG I’VE BEEN HERE ALONE! TWO YEARS FOR BUCK SAKE!”

    “WHAT DO YOU WANT.”

    Should be like this:

    “Sorry, I might’ve overreacted there.

    “And I don’t have a back door.

    “Lyra, how did you get all these guitars?”

    “WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME?! UGH, DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG I’VE BEEN HERE ALONE? TWO YEARS FOR BUCK SAKE!”

    “WHAT DO YOU WANT?

    Remember, the only thing I can help you with is punctiation, as it is one of the few things I know for sure with English((but still, some of those might be wrong, like the '?' and '?!'. If I'm correct, '?!' is only used on words that mix Questioning with Surprise[[for example, instead of writing 'What!', you write 'What?!'.]].))

    Still, nice story! Although I don't exactly know why the ponies are acting all hostile towards Shy Strings.

    #65 · Chapter 7 · 38w, 3d ago · · ·
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    >>1136922

    Sorry punctuation is kind of my weak point. Thanks for telling me about those! :pinkiegasp:

    And right now the universe is trolling, It will get better for him soon enough. :yay:

    #66 · Chapter 7 · 38w, 3d ago · · ·
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    Wait the end as in no more story???? O_O

    #67 · Chapter 5 · 38w, 3d ago · · ·
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    hold up...in the song he hints human race and in his current form hes a pony....next chapers make sence about lyra then :pinkiecrazy:

    #68 · Chapter 7 · 38w, 3d ago · · ·
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    >>1137285

    Nah the chapter XD

    >>1137348

    And wow. I didn't plan for that to happen, I was just listening to muse thinking it would be a good song for the chapter. :trollestia: scary...

    #69 · Chapter 7 · 38w, 3d ago · · ·
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    ...well the town is mostly mares...I wonder how much flank Mac gets :eeyup:

    #70 · Chapter 7 · 38w, 3d ago · · ·
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    >>1137791

    Ironically your comment number is 69. :trollestia:

    #71 · Chapter 7 · 38w, 3d ago · · ·
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    #72 · Chapter 5 · 38w, 3d ago · · ·
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    BUCKING EPIC BRO:pinkiehappy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy:

    #73 · Chapter 7 · 38w, 3d ago · · ·
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    Wow this chapter is. for. the. WIN. I love the twist you did with Lyra, but I couldn't help and mention that another brony writer did just what you did there, including about how Lyra was "a pony and alone for two years" part.

    An I like how you made your character a guitar player, even though I can't play the guitar worth squat, I can however play its distance cousin twice remove; the Violin. So here is a suggestion, mention Octivia and how she is a big fan of Beethooven's (see what I did there, huh? huh?) works.

    #74 · Chapter 7 · 38w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>1140302

    First of all thanks, And who else did that lyra 2 years alone thing I thought I completely made it up :yay:

    And thank you!

    #75 · Chapter 7 · 38w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>1142086 it was a writer that went by the name Tray Hunter, he wrote that Lyra used to be human, even the two years alone part. He wrote an awesome story, but he gradually lost interest and gave up on it.

    #76 · Chapter 8 · 38w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Other bronies… in… Equestria?!? Lyra is a brony?! WHAT I DON'T EVEN KNOW?!?!!?!? The Doctor has something to do with this. I know it.

    #77 · Chapter 8 · 38w, 1d ago · · ·
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    What the buck happened?! What the buck made all the stories I favorited to go into Hiatus? What the buck! >.<

    #78 · Chapter 8 · 38w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1149413 If you like these kind of stories, then go check mine out A New Point of View. It's long, I'm correcting the mistakes in the earlier chapters and most important of all, it isn't going on Hiatus anytime soon.

    #79 · Chapter 8 · 38w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Yes cyber's story is epic, trust me! :yay:

    #80 · Chapter 8 · 38w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1150198 Well, OK, checking it.

    #81 · Chapter 8 · 37w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Alright Everypony, Story is now complete, I decided this would be a good ending spot.

    Life just keeps coming at me, So I'm afraid you guys will have to wait for the sequel. And with school starting soon it will be hard to keep up. :raritycry:

    Sorry, From Sam.

    #82 · Chapter 2 · 37w, 6d ago · · ·
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    So wait does Shy Strings even look like? I'm liking the story and all too.

    #83 · Chapter 3 · 37w, 6d ago · · ·
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    No hands. That would be the absolute worst part for me if I turned into a pony. Worse than never eating meat again, no technology, no poptarts. :raritycry: JK:pinkiehappy:

    #84 · Chapter 5 · 37w, 6d ago · · ·
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    One major question: With Lyra there wouldn't she have heard the word Human in the lyrics and become curious of Shy?

    #85 · Chapter 6 · 37w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Ok Fluttershy is starting to confuse and scare me. The characters are a bit out of place. One woud think Spike would like to not have to do a chore ever now and again. Sam just gets attacked and Lyra still is angry with him over himknocking her door? Plainly put I like this sotry but things are off.

    #86 · Chapter 1 · 37w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Dude i know a lot of bronies i know a lot of peggasisters even in that community using buck instead of fuck is retarded :facehoof:

    #87 · Chapter 8 · 37w, 4d ago · · ·
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    I am so fucking confused...

    #88 · Chapter 2 · 37w, 2d ago · · ·
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    On my latin blood.This story is bloody brilliant!!!!!:rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss:

    5/5 RAINBOWDASHES!!!!!

    #89 · Chapter 5 · 37w, 2d ago · · ·
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    Says human race in song...

    #90 · Chapter 8 · 37w, 2d ago · · ·
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    Coolioes!

    #91 · Chapter 2 · 25w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1124558 actually if you read it correctly it said his burns would take 'a good 3 weeks' not 3 days:derpytongue2:

    #92 · Chapter 8 · 25w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1639575

    Actually, if you realized I made this review 12 weeks ago, he probably fixed it. :facehoof:

    #93 · Chapter 8 · 25w, 4d ago · · ·
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    You know what... I'm gonna get off my lazy bum and write another fic or something... Now that I'm kind of decent at it now... :twilightblush:

    #94 · Chapter 6 · 20w, 2d ago · · ·
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    Why did Lyra address his with Sam in her letter? I'm fairly certain she didn't know he was human, or at least didn't know his human name at that point.

    #95 · Chapter 8 · 20w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>1863132 If you are talking about the letter in the last chapter the *Ahem* "Sneak Peak", that letter is from Celestia and will come to play a part in the next sequel of the story! And yes, there is a sequel being thought up as we speak... :yay:

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