14. Penance
Chapter 14-Penance
Rainbow lay sprawled out across her mother's couch. Her eyelids sagged as she glanced at the clock. All she'd done all day was eat and nap. Not unusual, but these activities were usually done in between rigorous practice sessions. There was still sunlight, and she knew she had to keep in shape to be competitive once training began. She forced herself from the couch and shook out the cramps in her wings. She brought them in front of her, preening the delicate feathers gently. It wasn't her favorite activity, but it was necessary for world class stunt flying. Afterwards, she opened the front door and inhaled the cool air of Cloudsdale. Something about the air at this altitude just seemed fresher than the air at ground level.
She took a running start before leaping into the sky. She had only spent a few days out of practice, but her muscle memory needed to be completely re-formed. She practiced her rolls, turns, dives and climbs, even daring to perform a new trick or two. As always, flying settled Rainbow's worried mind. She knew that she would eventually have to face Mac and explain herself, but for now she simply flew higher, as if altitude would separate her from her earthly troubles. No matter how high she flew, there was one growing problem she couldn't escape. She found an abandoned cloud and sat, catching her breath while watching the earth ponies below go about their business. Reclining on the billowy cushion, she idly ran her hoof across her belly, swearing she could feel it starting to swell.
Rainbow rubbed her eyes and moaned.
How did I let myself get sucked into this? she wondered. Wonderbolt practice was a few days away, and she knew she'd never be able to perform with the black cloud of her conscience hanging over her head. She rolled over, casting a squinty gaze toward the setting sun. The orange beams of light cut through the other clouds, offering a bit more daytime before moonrise.
Rainbow took a deep breath. She'd have to tell Mac something. She didn't know what she was going to say, nor how she would say it. However, the longer she let him dwell on their last encounter, the harder it would be to regain his affection. Rainbow had to act, and she had to act tonight. She pushed the cloud out from under her and spread her wings, gliding back to her mother's house just as she arrived from work.
"Hello, Rainbow!" her mother called. "Feeling better?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," she replied, settling in front of her mother on the porch. "Listen, I think I'm gonna head home and talk to Mac."
Wave smiled draping a wing over her daughter's withers. "Good luck, dear. Whatever you decide, I will support you."
Dash nuzzled her mother and received a peck on the cheek before readying herself for takeoff.
"Thanks, Mom."
With that, Rainbow set off into the twilight, headed toward Ponyville's most famous apple orchard.
Mac had just finished all of his chores, including the work he'd missed yesterday. His day in bed allowed him time to think about his predicament. He was never usually the type to let his personal life interfere with his farm work, but as Mac had been told, love makes one do crazy things.
Dragging his plow the last few feet into the barn, he unhitched himself and breathed a sigh of relief. Wiping the sweat from his brow, he blew out the lanterns in the barn and locked it up for the night. The moon was just rising over the mountains when Mac decided to take a stroll along the grounds, one destination in mind.
He counted the rows of apple trees, making sure to turn between the twenty-fourth and twenty-fifth row. As he walked, he thought about the memories he'd made these past months with Rainbow. They'd nearly gotten poisoned, blown up, and arrested, and that was only their first date! Or, what Macintosh considered their first date. Rainbow wasn't like the other mares he'd courted. She didn't care about nice restaurants or fancy nights out or expensive gifts. All she cared about was time spent with him. He kicked himself for asking a free-spirit like her to marry him so soon. He sighed as he picked his head up and looked toward the moon. He was almost there now, just a few more paces.
Just because you're the father of her foal don't mean she'd want to marry an ol' goat like you.
Macintosh finally came to his destination. An apple tree set in between the rows, though much bigger than those surrounding it. Two granite slabs rested in the shadow of its branches. He often found himself here when he needed space to work out a problem. Mostly, it wasn't his problem, but somepony else's. He sat on his haunches in front of the silent monoliths.
"Ma, Pa," he whispered, staring longingly into the headstones. "It's been a while since Ah've come ta visit, Ah know."
His ability to speak began to falter. He began pulling the weeds that had begun to grow haphazardly around the graves. When his parents had passed, the Apples were out at the site almost every day, maintaining it and placing flowers and other sentimental items for the deceased. As the years wore on, they soon stopped visiting daily, then weekly, then once a month, then on the anniversary of their death, and then, they simply found themselves too busy. After a thorough weed pulling, Mac took his seat before them.
"Ah dunno if y'all can hear me, but Ah've got a problem," he sighed, the beams of moonlight illuminating the clearing in which he sat. "Ah wish y'all were still here. This is the kinda thing a son should be askin' his Ma and Pa about..."
Mac threw off his yoke, rubbing his eyes with a hoof. Sometimes being the pillar of a whole family is tough on a pony so young. Where was Mac to go when he had a problem? When everypony in his family looked to him for strength, how could he afford even a moment's weakness?
"See, there's this mare..."
It was dark by the time Rainbow arrived in Ponyville. Her heart was in her throat as she flew, hoping she could just talk to Mac, and not have to go through Applejack.
Above the farm, she noticed the dull red hue of Mac's coat in the moonlight. He walked into the groves, and she was quick to follow. Quietly, she hovered from tree to tree, hoping he'd come to his destination so she could talk to him without being interrupted.
As she tailed him, a lone apple tree much larger than the others stuck out in between the rows. Below this tree sat two granite slabs, leaning with age against the very earth that anchored them. Rainbow sighed softly. The location wasn't going to make it easier. Settling on a nearby tree branch, she heard him begin speaking. From her vantage, she could barely make out his words, but his tone said more than he ever could. For the first time, she was hearing a clear worry, an uncertainty and loneliness she thought she'd never catch from him. Though she wanted to swoop down to him, she felt a bit more listening might just save her some time, and maybe some embarrassment.
"... Then I asked her to marry me and, well... she ran off," Mac concluded, looking up from his hooves to the silent headstones before him, as though expecting a reply. He broke his stare and scoffed, realizing how stupid he felt for airing his problems to two chunks of rock.
"Ah don't know why Ah did this. It ain't like you can hear me any better here than anywhere else..." he sighed. Running a hoof through his mane, he reclined onto his back, casting his gaze skyward to the brilliant stars above his inheritance. He closed his eyes, trying to visualize what his parents would have to say on the subject, but found it quite difficult.
The fluttering of wings drew his attention away from his thoughts. Mac opened his eyes to see a familiar face standing over him. He scrambled to his elbows as Rainbow took a step back.
Neither said a word as they caught each other's gaze. The silence was worse than all the morning sickness in the world, and Rainbow knew she'd have to be the one to break it. She exhaled slowly.
"H-hey Big..."
He pulled himself onto his haunches. "Howdy," he said flatly. Rainbow supposed she deserved that, but didn't let it deter her from her mission.
"Mind if I sit?" she asked. Being this cautious was certainly something new, but she couldn't afford to mess this up. Not just for her sake, but for her foal's sake as well.
"G'head," he grunted.
Rainbow took a seat next to him, both facing the headstones of the deceased Apples.
"Mac, I know I messed up when I ran off the night before." She exhaled. "It's not that I don't want to be with you, and have this foal, it's just... marriage. It's so final, you know?"
Macintosh stared into the trunk of the tree shading them from the moonlight. Rainbow's ears flattened as she shifted nervously on her haunches. "You know, I came here without knowing what I was going to say to you. I figured the words would just come out, and fix all this." She sighed, running a hoof through her mane. "I'm just now realizing that they aren't."
She turned to look at him, the sinking feeling of failure settling in her chest as Mac's stoic response only fueled the fire. "I'm sorry for running from you Mac, I just don't want to lose you because I was afraid..."
Mac exhaled sharply, casting a glance toward Dash. "We ain't got ta get married if you don't want to," he whispered.
Rainbow withdrew slightly. "You mean, you don't want to marry me anymore?"
He shook his head. "No, it ain't like that. 'Course Ah'd marry you. When Ah asked you, Ah thought it was because that's what a stallion's supposed to do. Especially to a mare whose havin' his foal."
Rainbow inched closer. "Then... what made you change your mind?"
Mac smiled for the first time in a day and a half. "The mornin' after you left, I sat at our kitchen table, and got 'bout as drunk as a stallion can get," he recalled, keeping an eye on Rainbow as he smiled. "And durin' that time, when I was about to pass out in my bed, I thought about you. I thought about all the memories we'd already made and the reasons I wanted to be with you in the first place."
Rainbow gulped, unsure of whether or not this story would end well for her.
"And?" she said weakly.
"Did you know Fluttershy had a crush on me?" he asked, seemingly out of nowhere.
"Really? Oh," she whispered, realizing the stallion Fluttershy had a crush on had to have been Macintosh. She couldn't believe she didn't make that connection earlier.
"Yeah, she told me when Ah was fixin' her chicken coop," he continued, staring back at his parents headstones. "She asked me what it was about you that Ah liked."
Rainbow was on the edge of her seat. Ordinarily she'd just demand Mac get on with it, but sensitivity here was crucial.
"What'd you tell her?" Rainbow asked, eyes shining with concern, though Mac hardly acknowledged her.
"Ah couldn't think of anythin'. Not one reason in particular as to why Ah found myself cravin' your company," he sighed. He could have sworn he heard Rainbow's heart break. A sniffle and a hoof wiping away her tears let him know he'd best get on with the rest of his story before she decided she'd heard enough.
"So, what?" she choked behind her soft sobs. "You liked me for no reason?" she asked, a bit of venom coming into her voice.
"Eenope. While I was in bed yesterday, Ah told ya Ah was thinkin' about the same thing Fluttershy had asked me," he replied, finally turning to face his crying marefriend. "You know what Ah realized?"
"What?" Rainbow answered softly, expecting either joy or soul crushing sadness within the next few seconds.
"Ah realized Ah'd rather fight with you for the rest of my life, than make love to anypony else."
Dash's bottom lip began to quiver as she covered her face with a hoof. She prided herself on her toughness, and to just cry like a school-filly—in front of Macintosh no less—was quite the blow to her ego.
"Ah realized that bein' married isn't what mattered. Bein' with you is what mattered. If you don't want to get married, then we ain't got to. All Ah want is for you to be happy," he finished as Rainbow screwed her eyes shut, flushing a fresh line of tears down her cheeks.
"Mac, I'm sorry I ran out on you like that... I do want to be with you, and I want you to help me raise our kid," she whispered, a shiver running down her spine as Mac embraced her unexpectedly. They held each other for what felt like hours below the old apple tree. Rainbow buried her nose into Mac's chest, taking in a scent she wasn't sure she'd ever smell again until a few moments ago.
"I love you, Mac."
He smiled, planting a kiss on her forehead and squeezing her close. "Ah love you too, Rainbow."
Moments passed like the cool summer's breeze as the two ponies basked in the joy of their reconciliation.
"So... I guess these are your parents, huh?" Rainbow asked.
"Eeyup. That's Ma and Pa. We usually take better care of their site, but we've been pretty busy as of late..." he sighed.
"It's okay, I haven't been to my Dad's spot since he died," she said flippantly.
"Ah'm sorry to hear that Rainbow." He reclined on his back as Rainbow followed suit. His foreleg wrapped around her shoulders, she leaned into him, recalling from the train ride from Prairieville how good of a pillow he was.
"It's no big deal..." she whispered.
"How come you ain't visited him?"
"It's not like he cares whether I do or not," Rainbow scoffed. "He's dead."
"You seemed to like that locket he left ya."
"That's... that's different."
Mac turned, digging her muzzle out of his chest. "How's it different?"
"It... It just is, okay?" she snapped. Wisely, Mac dropped the subject, content to simply have his marefriend back in his company.
"Alright then," he exhaled. "It's gonna get chilly out here in a bit, we might want to make our way back."
Mac sat up and stretched his legs as Rainbow flexed and loosened up her wings.
"You're welcome to sleep here if ya don't want to fly back."
Rainbow yawned, considering her options. "What time is it?"
Mac looked to the moon, "Ain't past midnight yet."
Dash grinned, grabbing Mac's yoke and putting it on herself. "Geez, this thing is heavier than it looks!" She strained, lifting her neck only to have it flop back down. Mac removed his signature article of clothing and placed it over his shoulders. Rainbow fluttered onto Mac's back and settled in, her forelegs around his neck.
"I guess I could be persuaded into crashing here tonight," she said quietly. "If you're lucky, there may not be much crashing going on."
Fortunately for Macintosh, there was quite a bit of crashing to be had. His bed was just big enough for the both of them, without having to pile on top of one another. Though he had every right to be asleep by now, Mac couldn't let go of what Rainbow had said earlier.
It's not like he cares whether I do or not, he's dead.
How could she be so callous about her own father? The difference in the attitudes between her parents and his own was shocking enough to warrant a question.
"Hey," he whispered, getting a nudge and a 'hmm' from Rainbow.
"If ya don't mind my askin', how come you've never visited your father?"
She rolled an eye free and glared at him before burying her face back into his chest. "I thought I told you not to worry about that?"
Mac didn't continue, simply settling in for a good night's rest before Rainbow spoke up again.
"Because... it's just, I'm kind of..." she sighed, struggling to nail down a reason. A moment more of silence passed before she continued, as if being persuaded to.
"The day he died, we got into a fight. It was over something stupid. I was getting ready for school, and that day was show and tell. He told me he'd let me use his locket he'd been given by his great great grandfather that had fought in the Lunar war," she explained, taking a calming breath as she recalled her most hated memory. She hated herself for what she'd done, and how insensitive she was to her own father.
"I told him I didn't want to take a stupid old locket, I wanted some cool war medals, or to take one of my Wonderbolts dolls." Mac felt her get closer to him, her forelegs wrapping ever tighter around his torso as she continued.
"I'll never forget the hurt look on his face. I was just a dumb foal, I didn't even realize how important it was to him. He left it on the kitchen table, and told me I could take it if I changed my mind." Oddly enough, he noted Rainbow's composure was actually holding together.
"I told him I wouldn't, and I'd rather take one of my Wonderbolts dolls. That was the last thing I said to him. I didn't even tell him I loved him." Mac felt her lips trembling against his coat as she tried to calm herself. "All he wanted to do was show me something special from his side of the family, and I threw it back in his face."
Mac worked his jaw, trying to think of an appropriate response, but found silence to be more than enough. He hated the fact that Rainbow had to hide such a painful memory. Mac deplored the feeling of helplessness he was saddled with. He knew nothing he could say would change the past, or take away Dash's guilt or shame. All he could do was hold her, and stroke her mane while she vented her years of bottled up hatred for herself and the events that led to her father leaving her and her mother.
A sob from his side and the moisture of Rainbow's tears on his coat broke the silence. "I didn't even get to say goodbye..." she whimpered.
Mac rolled over, holding Rainbow close to him, making sure she felt safe and extending to her the same caring he'd extend to a family member. "You could still say it,"
Rainbow wiped her eyes. "How?"
"Well, what if you went to where he is and said goodbye? Would that make you feel better?" he asked.
"Uhm... I guess, but do you think you could, uh, go with me?" She looked into his eyes, a rare sense of vulnerability shining through her tears. She was looking to him for support, for help. This was the moment he'd been waiting for. The moment that assured him that she was as serious about the two of them as he had been all this time.
"Of course Ah will."
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So at least one part is ironed out, now for the 'Bolts. Great chapter
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That is all.
IT.. Its..... B'aaaaaawwwwwwwwwww
BUT IT'S TOO SHORT!!!!!
Daw. See, I need to read this. This is what I need to make my Mac/Dash seem more believable.
Keep it up!
Dammit, Manatee. Stop getting featured! You're making me look bad!
Admittedly, I haven't written anything recently, but still!
1307627 Fucking write Tex dammit.
Also updating stories usually get time on the last 3 spots of the box.
Heartwarming...
If I still had a heart.
But all the same, excellent installment. Everything seems to have been smoothed out, plot-wise. Which means that complications/plot twists will arise soon.
GOD DAMNIT! it's so short. enjoying the hell out of it, then it ends. ARGH
Keep up the good work.
Man, now I'm even sadder. Both my story updates this morning had sad. Least this one cheered me up by Mac and Dash getting back together
It's beautiful. So sweet and wonderful.
I still hope Dash and Mac get married, though. Maybe Dash needs some time to get through it and think things through, but c'mon.
C'MOOOOOONNNNNNN.
Anyway, good chapter, if a bit short. Nice work.
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Always worth the wait.
Best MacDash is still Best MacDash!
Things look to be on the up, so, that just get's me more concerned for the inevitable telling of Spitfire and the Wonderbolts. 
I have a feeling that AJ won't be happy to see Dash in the morning.
I'd almost forgotten about that whole Fluttershy incident?
What ended up happening with her?
How's she doing these days?
I must know! My love of Fluttershy demands it!
...chapter. nice.
great story great chapter... now... on to the bolts!
Now to go read the next update to Changes, then cry in a corner for the rest of the day.
Nice to see Dash and Mac make up. Now to see to the Wonderbolts, though I suspect a chapter of visiting Dash's father may come first.
1309313 What ya gotta do is plan out your chapter reading so you have the best chance of ending on a happy note. I was pretty certain that Changes was going to flat out kill me emotionally, so I just made sure that it was the first pony fic I got to today since there was very little chance that anything else on my updated story list was going to be as sad as it.
Needs a capital H
Now for the real comment.
and
are back together, even though it was kind of inevitable reading it just felt so good.
This is the best shipping story I've read great job! I'm so glad that
Emotional Dash is best Dash.
Thank goodness, they're back together! I don't think I could have taken it if they weren't together. I think I would have just died.
1309313
Oh sweet baby Celestia yes. I ruined my day by reading Changes right after I got up. Stupid, stupid decision.
I have tears in my eyes....
1308847That, my friend, is the love and tolerance (eg. Estrogen) flooding your heart.
1311697
You know how to leave the readers hanging...
DAMN YOU FOR KNOWING HOW TO LEAVE THE READERS HANGING!!!
1310343 fixed it, thanks for the catch!
1313236
Welcome.
All of the fanfic updates I've read today. I CAN'T HANDLE THE FEELS. But seriously. I think I might burst in to spontanious tears for absolutely no reason.
Good update! Been looking for it.
....I know, I know. I'll get on my update soon
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""Ah realized Ah'd rather fight with you for the rest of my life, than make love to anypony else."
Confirmed: Big Mac is best player.
HEY guys can I get the dA page for that pic? Sorry if it has been asked before there are just so many comments.
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I was wondering why this didn't update. Then, I checked it out again. Then, I discovered that I had forgotten to favorite and watch the story and you. And that it had updated three days prior.
Then, I felt like an idiot. Then, I rectified the wrong.
FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELS.
Fantastic. I also love how you handled Applejack in this. A lesser writer would've had her run off all pissy to confront Dash and crank some hollow drama out of it for a chapter or two. Kudos.
Honestly, this is going so much better than I was worried it might. Feels good, man. But now who will be Best Chicken after Dash's short-lived reign?
I teared up at the ending.
If i did that, I have no idea how I could live with myself.
This is best MacDash ship
1542730
I never got to say goodbye to my grandma. My dad went to my grandparents hous3 in the contry to help her heel from sickness. I was gunna go to my dad for the weekend two weeks after she left. I was so sad wheni iheard the news mymoonhad me stay home the next day
Cripes Dash, way to annihilate the mood.