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Rainbow Dash has been dating Pinkie Pie for nearly a month and, in spite of Pinkie’s objections, is keeping the affair a secret from the rest of their friends. Deciding she's had enough, Pinkie Pie throws a party announcing their relationship.
Hmmm.... interesting. Somewhat cliche in a few aspects but then its hard to avoid those now a days. Still, as long as Dash doesn't break her wings and Twilight doesn't become an Alicorn we should be good. 
Gotta say I do like what I see though. No grammar or spelling errors that I noticed, the plot and pacing seems to be coming along quite nicely, and everypony has been in character so far. 
Good job! Will certainly be favoriting.
This was a very nice story! Nothing groundbreaking, but I liked it very much. Which is kinda strange, since I don't usually like "coming out" stories in the world of ponies (my personal headcanon is that sexual orientation can not be an issue in a society as inherently tolerant as Equestria).
If this was your first fanfic, as your profile seems to indicate, I really think you should write more - you've got talent!
I'd be all for Mr. Cake stepping it up a notch, if he hadn't made her cry. 
You make a girl cry and you ain't no tough-guy, you're just a dick.
“If you ever hurt my dau- uh… Pinkie Pie ever again, I’ll… I’ll…” Carrot Cake racked his brain. What could he do? “I’ll make you wish you hadn’t!” he said threateningly.
Points for trying, and it's a nice sentiment, but Dash would break him in the event of any serious retaliation. Moreover, Dash was clearly traumatized by the whole 'fillyfooler' thing, and something like that doesn't just go away overnight; if he honestly thinks there won't be a few lonely nights ahead for our favorite couple, his brain is made of frosting.
Well this was fun. The part that stood out the most was "I’m on a Boat but I Don’t Want to be on a Boat". 
I agree with >>1129006 that the coming out genre kinda doesn't jive with how I see Equestria at anyrate. Still, it had some very cute moments. Some of the dialogue seemed slightly off. The one that sticks in my head is Pinkie saying "obviously" instead of "well duh" or so.
>“Obviously, you sleep over like every night,” Pinkie responded, rolling her eyes.
But that's minor.
Look forward to seeing more of your stuff.
Eeyup, this was a good one! My favorite part was probably how protective Mr. Cake got and how he almost called Pinkie his daughter. That was really sweet. Seeing one-sided RariDash throughout the story was also interesting. I really do agree with Kits and Arrrg about the whole homosexuality thing, but that's a really personal issue and does nothing to detract from the quality of the story.
Anyway, you truly did a great job! Hope you'll write more RainbowPie in the future!
The fact that you took the time to read this story and then actually leave a comment, sort of made my entire week. You're such a great writer!
Fanboy outburst aside, yeah, it's always those little details that seem to get me.
And to think I was that close to taking that whole bit with Mr. Cake out at the last second, very glad I decided to leave it in. I love the RainbowPie ship, so if I was ever to actually write another fic, it would probably be more Rainbow Pie.
I'm torn. I really like RariDash as a concept. In fact, I have two ideas. One is List-like in that it's pure interaction based on show stuff that doesn't require anything new be created. One is almost Games We Play like. I'm torn because I have List's sequel infodump at 2 pages. I wish I could write all the fics :|
More Rainbow Pie! DO IT!
DOOOOOO IT!
Best ship need more shipping.
>>1144298 Hmm.. That actually sounds rather interesting. And a story which is (almost) like The Games We Play certainly sounds intriguing.
And yes, Kits, I also wish you could write all the fics ;)
>>1143924 I'd certainly love to see more from you! And as Kits said, the greatest ship in history requires more stories
Coming out story doesn't make much sense in Equestria, yadda yadda yadda. Anyway, I thought you did a really good job on this, aside from the coming out thing you were able to avoid most of the tropes that have started bugging me with mlp shipping, plus you wrote all the characters quite well. Keep on writing.
A few people have mentioned the whole 'coming out shouldn't be a problem in Equestria.' I'd like to mention that the only pony who seems to have any problem with Dash's sexuality in this fic is Dash herself. And she can hardly be considered a reliable narrator.
Anyway, thanks for commenting, glad you enjoyed it.
True but she still learned it somewhere, ultimately its easy for us to imagine it happening since there is still a stigma against it currently in the real world but there were societies and times where it was just as accepted as hetero sexuality. My take on it is that ultimately the reason we have the stigma is because of the big three religions and the fact that a persons first experience with anything related to homosexuality will probably be some moron yelling about it being immoral or a sin. I can't really see Celestia having anything against it, but then again it does make for a compelling story even if I don't see it making much sense, when its written well and you did a good job with it.
In short have a happy Pinkie.
I'm pretty sure this,
“I heard a sound at the window and I thought ‘Must be a tree’ but then I remembered that there are no trees by that window."
should say this,
“I heard a sound at the window and I thought ‘Must be a tree’ but then I remembered that Fluttershy said she would be at the library today."
Just thought I'd correct a simple error. 
I kid, I kid, but it would be a very cool change! Great job so far!
Juts finished the whole thing now in one sitting, here's a few thoughts I had bouncing around.
Nothing too original about the theme; it's a cute romance comedy ship between Pinkie and RD, but as far as comedy romances go this was a fun read. I liked that you managed to work in the entire cast as well, and their personalities became a great foil for the two stars. Especially Twilight, who's repeated blunt indiscretions is really the catalyst for the entire thing. Everyone was really in great form - and for some reason the image of Rarity attempting to impart romance advice to Pinkie while they waited in the barn was too cute.
If I would have liked to have seen anything done differently, I would have seen Pinkie make Rainbow work for her forgiveness near the end. Pinkie is head-over-heels for RD and she has a thin skin for rejection - having RD insult and embarrass her at a party that she was throwing just for her should have cut really deep.
That being said, I can still enjoy a light-hearted romance without too much drama, and this story accomplished that admirably. A good read and a thumbs-up over all.
Pinkie being angry with Dash is something I never really considered. She's always so bouncy and cheerful, even after watching Party of One and The Last Roundup, I still have a very hard time imagining her being upset with one of her friends.
Oh well, glad you enjoyed it.
I have an idea of what will happen next.
Rarity: TWILIGHT WHY THE HELL ARE YOU SO DIRECT!
Twilight: I WAS CURIOUS!
Rarity: GO HAVE SEX IF YOUR CURIOUS. BY GOD DON'T ASK PINKIE PIE ANYTHING!!!!!
Twilight: why?
Rarity: the fourth wall.....
Twilight: What?
Rarity: THE FOURTH WALL!
Very nice, well written and a fun read. I especially liked Mr. Cake's part, gave me flashbacks to Mr. and Mrs. Cake's relationship with Pinkie in A Sweet Taste of Cake.
Have a thumb and a watch.
Twilight: Oh hi Tootsie!
Tootsie Flute: Heya Twilight, whatcha doing?
Twilight: Great, actually. How is your mom!
Tootsie Flute: Well, mom is kind of angry with mommy, and mommy thinks that "There is nothing wrong with liking humans!"
Twilight: Ok. *beat* 
What?.... Ah well, its not important.
*Long Review Warning*
Chapter 1:
I'm admittedly not an avid fanfic reader yet, and this is only the third shipping fic or so I've read. So I know that there's a ton of shipping fics, so I can't judge for originality, but as far as I can tell, this story does a promising job so far.
Good mature writing style, good varied sentence structure, and good vocab too. Good job setting the scene with Rainbow coming in for gift wrap, it builds up subtle tension very well and revealing her underlying hopes. I really enjoyed Fluttershy's consolatory dialogue, gives a real sense of her gentle empathy. The story also sets up nice mysteries for future chapters.
No major critiques. Twilight is a bit overly boorish for the sake of the story's advancement, but that's to be expected I guess. Only thing that stuck out to me -the book names at the start were too meta. "I'm on a boat but don't to be."
Good stuff! I write long reviews because I enjoy reading the stories.
I'm very glad you enjoyed it!
If you'll allow me to self indulge, I thought the second part was miles ahead of the rest, and easily the part I enjoyed writing the most. A savory meat slapped between some stale bread and cheesy cheddar.
Now that I think about it, I really should have given you some formal credit somewhere. Your comments dramatically improved the fic. Sorry about that. 
I never thought in a million years this was good enough to get past the EqD pre readers. I may or may not have jumped out of my chair and started dancing when I got the confirmation email. 
First fanfic i've read start to finish in about 8 months. I will admit my sole reason for reading it was because it dealt with a GLBQT crisis/issue which I am writing about it my own fic(So yes I read this for research purposes). However, I was ecstatically surprised at how well you wrote both pinkie pie's character as being in a relationship yet still maintaining her pinkieness, and then even more so at the back story you were able to inject for why RBD was uncomfortable in coming out, and how you did it in such a short fanfiction. Of another surprise that you managed to pull off despite the length of the fanfic was the SPOILERS: (What I am presuming was rarity actually liking rainbow dash and that strong hint right near the end that was actually minorly hinted at throughout the interaction between the two throughout the story..very crafty and well executed) SPOILERS END.
All in all, I'm most impressed with how much you managed to cram in narrative wise for such a (relatively) short story. Kudos to you for a wonderful story :)
Okay, I absolutely loved this fic. Severly sleep deprived I allowed myself only one chapter before turning in, but in the end I couldn't put it away until I read it through. I kind of wish I hadn't already read it, because I want to read this over again. I loved the theme, and I loved Rainbow's characterization. An upvote, a favourite, and a "please write more!" 
Woohoo, I finally know something! At least one previous fic in this fandom used this joke: "The Incredibly Dense Mind of Rainbow Dash"!
(Sorry, I have no other constructive criticism to offer. All I have to say is that it's a pretty good fic.)
Cute fic, was gonna give a thumb up but then I got to the part with Carrot Cake and well,....have a thumb up and a fave!
Him almost calling Pinkie his daughter pulled all the d'awwww strings in my heart.
Oh and the boat joke in the first chapter was hillarious as well.
A couple people have referred to this as a romantic comedy, which confuses me because it was never my intention for this to be any sort of comedy. But I suppose that's inevitable any time Pinkie Pie is involved. Thanks for the comment (please forgive my ridiculously late reply).
Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash are adorable together, aren't they?
Fearful of that terrible monster, the few patrons of the library had returned every single checked out book. All on the same day.
That rather made my day. Tis story has been sitting on my RiL list for a while, and after that gem I'm sorry it took this long for me to get to it!
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I don't even know how to react. 
I might as well add that I am thoroughly enjoying this story. liked and favorited. 
as long as it stays away from clop:twilightblush
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