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TG divet3 1190

Joined May 2012
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    TG divet3's Stories (1)


    Three months after the incident at Panchea, Adam Jensen is happy to be on his own in Detroit. Until one day, some bad guys appear, and Adam will find himself in a place quite opposite of his apartment in the Chiron Building...

    Deus Ex: Human Revolution and all of its characters belong to Eidos Montreal and Square Enix

    My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and all of its characters belong to Hasbro and Studio B

    First Published
    20th Aug 2012
    Last Modified
    6th Sep 2012

    Comments ( 231 )

    #1 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 2d ago · · ·
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    MOAR

    #2 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 2d ago · · ·
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    I feel like I should of played the game before reading this, but I was drawn to the story. I mean if im thinking of the right guy, he has built in sunglasses!

    #3 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 2d ago · · ·
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    So he's still human-cyborg, right?

    And other than the totally BS reason for Sarif to get rid of Adam, I like it. Think what you might, but Sarif isn't really a corrupt corporate executive, so that was really BS.

    #4 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 2d ago · · ·
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    Standing on ground zero of a explosion send you to equestria apparently, quite cliche. But the story is good so far, so waiting for more here.

    #5 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 2d ago · · ·
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    Time for Jensen to start coma-punching once again. This going to rock!:rainbowkiss:

    #6 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 2d ago · · ·
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    now hes a cyborg human pony.....with wepons :pinkiecrazy: gotta remember the weponry The Grey Pegasus

    #7 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>1124779

    :rainbowlaugh:

    >>1124781

    Of course. But I don't even think he can carry that much weapons in reality.

    And why is there no explosive revolver?!

    #8 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 2d ago · · ·
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    He was currently watching the News, which was still going on about the discovery of the DNA- his DNA- alterations which could be made to negate the necessity for Neuropazyne, the drug normal augmented people needed to use to not die.

    I think I will like this story.

    Also, that's a horrible reason to kill him, but whatever.

    #9 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>1124641

    I second that statement :eeyup:

    #10 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 2d ago · · ·
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    Well Sarif's just fantastically out of character and seemingly subject to plot induced stupidity. He seriously thinks he can kill Adam Jensen with  bunch of guards? If you were gonna throw Adam into Equestria like this you should've just had him blow up Panacea and wake up in Equestria.

    #11 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 2d ago · · ·
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    OMFG awesome!:heart:

    #12 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 2d ago · · ·
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    Brilliant man, and with only 1600 words or so. *Likes and favs* dont forget to check out my shiz

    #13 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 2d ago · · ·
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    Adam clambered to his feet because of this line i say he is still human/cyborg because ponies have hooves not feet

    #14 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>1124966

    Yeah...I agree. That would have made more sense. And would have made a good explanation scene sometime later, assuming the reactions of those he was telling were good and in character...

    #15 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 2d ago · · ·
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    So to clear this up guys:

    Yes, Adam Jensen is still a human. I would have mentioned otherwise

    #16 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 2d ago · · ·
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    I never thought I'd ever see the term "strafe-jumping" used in a story.

    #17 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 2d ago · · ·
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    So to clear this up guys:

    Yes, Adam Jensen is still a human. I would have mentioned otherwise

    >>1124738

    I wrote this on a plane ride from Seattle to Dallas. I didn't really expect people to like this. If I had KNOWN people would be reading it, I'd have tried harder.

    >>1124756

    I was originally going to call the chapter "Cliche Entrance".:derpytongue2:

    #18 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 2d ago · · ·
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    The bit about him picking up his fridge and finding loot behind it nearly killed me, so true to the game and hilariously nonsensical at the same time. :rainbowlaugh:

    #19 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>1125628

    By that, shouldn't the guards freak out then? Or at least say something unusual? Geez, those guards are ice.

    Maybe some quick tweaks and revisions are in order?

    >>1125638

    This comment makes me laugh for some reason.

    #20 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 2d ago · · ·
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    MOAR   :flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage:

    ....If thats ok with you...:fluttershyouch::fluttershbad:

    #21 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 2d ago · 1 · ·
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    I'm very surprised that Adam Jensen didn't just block the guards line of sight by simply stacking a bunch of boxes and just walk right through the front door.

    #22 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>1124738

    Actually...

    If you ever played the game you know he hides plenty of things from you.

    >>1125655 Btw, how much longer until the next chapter comes out? I've been looking for a story like this for a year+.

    #23 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 2d ago · · ·
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    Yeah...after reading this...I'm afraid that I'm going to have to take it off of my favorites list and give it a thumbs down. I like the concept of bringing Jensen into Equestria, I REALLY do, but the way you execute it is the definition of "weak" and "sauce." Some serious editing needs to be done if this story ever wants to reach it's full potential and greatness, but as it stands, I'm jumping off this ship like the first white bitch off of the Titanic.

    #25 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>1125842

    In all honesty, I would have made a better reason, but I have said it before; I didn't think it would really matter. :applejackunsure:

    #26 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>1125871

    Do you need an editor?

    #27 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>1125465 If he was a pony, he would of lost his augs (common sense, if your entire body metamorphs, your Augs arn't gonna still work or simply won't be on you. And what kind of Dues Ex fic has a augementless Jensen?

    #28 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>1125813 He hides stuff from you, but any person with even minor LA Noire skills (LA Noire interogations required listening to tone of voice AND what they were saying, not just visual stuff) making him tell everything is incredibly easy even without the voice aug, which is worthless.

    #29 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>1124723 Play it, Deus Ex Human Revolution is possible the greatest game ever made to this date, far superior then other games such as Dark Souls and Skyrim.

    #30 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 2d ago · · ·
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    Hrm...it has great potential,but it definitely needs to be polished up.Will keep track to see if improvements are made.

    Oh,and a minor grammatical error.It's neuropozyne,not neuropazyne.

    EDIT: Meant to ask...why Sarif's ending?Methinks the Self-Destruct ending would be a much better fit for this story.Plus,you get symbolism points for having Jensen be "reborn" into Equestria via drowning.

    #31 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 2d ago · · ·
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    In the great quest to crossover absolutely everything with pony...

    #32 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 2d ago · · ·
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    great idea, bringing in deos ex into the MLP world is a genius idea. Keep goin and stay golden^^

    #33 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>1126144

    Because when I played the game, I didn't end that way. :derpytongue2:

    #34 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>1126198

    Save right after the Hyron battle, and it's easy to get all four endings.  There really isn't any difference between them, except the voiceover and whether or not Panchaea Falls, Everyone Dies.

    But I digress; unless you canonically had Jensen pull the anti-augmentation ending, then Sarif really couldn't even begin to have a reason to want Jensen dead or even fired.  Given that it's just a mechanism to pull Jensen into Equestria, I'd suggest rewriting that part.

    #35 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 2d ago · · ·
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    I never asked for this.

    #36 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>1126095

    BLASPHEMY course i havnt played deus ex but still  BLASPHEMY

    #37 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 2d ago · · ·
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    This story is terrible. I could barely get past the first few paragraphs. No one big thing stuck out; it was lots of little things, like saying Adam's apartment was the only one in the building, misspelling Neuropozyne, him noting some random bit of equipment when he wanted to get a snack bar, et cetera.

    #38 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>1126329 Its fantastic at every point. It looks fantastic, it has incredible story, its well voice acted (although bad lip syncing), incredibly fun combat, multiple ways to do everything, good skill progression and has a good amount of gameplay (maybe 16 hours of story, but its so fun, it feels shorter then a cod campaign)

    #39 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>1126198 WHAT, SARIFS ENDING!!!!! The Taggart ending made so much more sense. Despite I believe Sarifs ending being cannon.

    #40 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 2d ago · · ·
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    I want to see him just pull a fast one on the guards. Hehe, the Typhoon would be cool to see but I think something more subtle is appropriate, coma-punch or killing blade?

    #41 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 2d ago · · ·
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    I actually was thinking of writing this.....

    but you got to it first. :facehoof:

    Oh well, if you need any ideas or editing id be happy to lend a hand! :scootangel:

    #42 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1125813 Melon Hunter's had a Deus Ex crossover up over here for a while now. It isn't HiE, though, but it's pretty damn good.

    Best of luck to the author. I'd like to see what you can do when you actually try hard.

    #43 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1124738  >>1124966  uhhh... Taggart isn't Sarif.... how did you get those two confused !? :derpyderp2:

    EDIT: Now that I've read more comments? How the hell are so many people confusing Taggart for Sarif!? wth people!?

    edit2: I retract my remarks made above after the author informed me of an edit he made i wasn't aware of. >.> My apologies.

    #44 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1126491

    I edited it like, 10 minutes ago :P

    #45 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1126500 .... Oh.... :facehoof: now i feel stupid. Thank you for informing of this... I must've read it JUST after the edit then...

    #46 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 1d ago · · ·
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    I probably should go buy this game now. I'm clueless on Dues Ex.

    #47 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1126601

    Or you could watch a playthrough. :P

    But its an awesome game.

    #48 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1126610

    Screw playthroughs! They spoil my fun!

    #49 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 1d ago · · ·
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    So, being on top of an explosion is a gateway to Equestria?

    ...brb getting a grenade.

    #50 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 1d ago · · ·
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    I wonder why Adam didn't just throw the fridge at the guards. That is what I would do in a situation like this.

    #51 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1126796

    Its what I do too. :P

    #52 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1126800

    The idea of him cloaking first is probably another option, but I always go with throwing fridges and vending machines at soldiers. :derpytongue2:

    #53 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1126817

    All the time. :yay:

    #54 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 1d ago · · ·
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    omg the chapter name, it just had to be dat didn't it?

    #55 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1127036

    I'm here to kick ass and make references. And I suck at kicking ass.

    #56 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Very meh. I'll stick around for a while, though.

    #57 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Dang, he's still human, that cover image is misleading.

    #58 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Misread the title as "Desu Ex," as I do every time I see it, but this time I managed to think "Huh, seems fitting," before reading it again. Tracking, can't wait for more.

    #59 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1127204

    Desu Ex: Human Revoluguution

    #60 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1127215

    I think the proper title for the Japanese version is DESU EX: HUMAN LEVORUSHON GO!: ULTRA TURBO ARCADE EDITION.

    /notracist

    #61 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 1d ago · · ·
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    AAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWW YEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!     I couldn't continue reading the ponified version of Deus Ex:HR .... because no Adam, and it was exactly that, just completely ponified.

    This should be good for me... seeing as it's better. I'm gonna fucking love it!

    I wonder if the story will be funny like punch punch revolution?

    #62 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1127252

    Looks like I have comedy material. :pinkiesmile:

    #63 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1127272 Just make sure you watch the others... it's fuckin' funny.  

    #64 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 1d ago · · ·
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    #65 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 1d ago · · ·
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    I'll keep an eye open on this story

    :raritywink:

    Preferably one that can be seen.

    #66 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 1d ago · · ·
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    No goatee D:<

    #67 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 1d ago · · ·
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    HOLY FUCK BALLS! I was waiting for a Deus ex crossover you made my day

    #68 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 1d ago · · ·
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    you my sir are a

    #69 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >Stumble upon a rare DE:HR Crossover

    >mfw it's not that bad

    #70 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 1d ago · · ·
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    That went well.

    MOAR.

    >>1127595

    I know, right? I'm surprised game with such a story got so few crossovers.

    #71 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1127673

    And such an awesome protagonist. Adam Jensen is best pony cyborg-augmented people person.

    Aru
    #72 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Hah, i'm going to read it later. Funny thing, i finished the game yesterday, same as "Deus Ex: Missing Link".. soo... this going to be fun. But i would see it more fun if Jensen end up in Equestria as a human. Buut...i haven't read it. Time to do it.*boop*

    #73 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1126071

    Yes. Talk about common sense when referring to an augmented human Cyborg getting transported to a magical pony land intended for little girls to young to know what 9/11 was. That won't in ANY way lead to ANYONE getting hit by the anvil of irony...

    In all seriousness though, the writer can have Jensen in Equestria being whatever he wants him to be (human, cyborg-human, cyborg-pony, or regular pony). Though, I'm pretty sure that if he LOST his augmentations (without the parts of his body those augmentations replaced by the necessary  pony or human parts in the journey to Equestria that is)...I'm pretty sure that he'd be a vegetable (in the sense that he'd have no arms or legs (or forelegs and hind-legs) and he'd probably be pushing up daisies (because I'm pretty sure some of those augmentations were NECESSARY FOR HIM TO LIVE after getting his ass beat at Sariff Industries at the end of the opening level of the game).

    #74 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1125930

    It does when you start radically altering character's personalities (like you did with Sariff), making them extremely OUT OF character and have them do something that they wouldn't normally do (like Sariff sending hit-men to take out Jensen) like you just did.

    #75 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 1d ago · · ·
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    I wonder where Adam Jensen keeps his shit.

    Aru
    #76 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 1d ago · · ·
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    So Taggart is not so pacifist as he wanted to be seen by public(he is not Sarif for buck sake ppl!)

    Diffrent choice than me (i go with Darrow.... Taggart was into Iluminati, Sarif.. i don't going to trust corporations.) but it's going to be fantastic story.

    And don't forgot, every food Jensen eat can give him energy. Not only energy bars(they are simply concentrated nutrients so with some apple pies he can regenerate his powa too ; P). Ohh i can see this nerdgasm Twi is going to have when she see this technology.

    Eh.... You dear author simply read my mind or something. I finished game not so long ago and thought "Ah... now i wanna see Jensen in Equestria".

    Edit: And about praxis, don't fret people. They are only way to launch he's implants faster. Basically everything we can choose when character in game lvl up are already in Jensen waiting to "wake up".

    #77 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Taggart is actually someone who sends not-so stealthy hitmen to peoples apartments and blow them up? kind of rude if you ask me

    #78 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1128049

    Are you sure you want to know? :rainbowwild:

    #79 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 1d ago · · ·
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    *crawls out of his cave, blinking in the sunlight*

    #80 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 1d ago · · ·
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    DAMN CLIFF HANGER! :flutterrage:

    #81 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Or maybe he survived the explosion and he is unconscious and his augs and hud are messing with his mind making him think he's stuck in a land with technicolor talking ponies.

    #84 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1126734

    To maximize chances, set off the grenade while getting into a fatal car accident and committing suicide with a stick of butter. (The Human's Guide to Life in Equestria is the source of those things. Check it out if you want some laughs.)

    >>1127894

    Which Critic episode is the Anvil of Irony from?

    #85 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1125655

    I didn't ask for any of this...

    But it is good.

    #86 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 1d ago · · ·
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    #87 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 1d ago · · ·
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    please include one of the following lines:

    her neck was snapped and her body was burned beyond recognition with a high tech comound

    A bomb!

    and of course the classic: what a shame, he was a good man... what a rotten way to die (anyone who's played the origional deus ex should get this)

    #88 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 1d ago · · ·
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    I never asked for this.

    #89 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1129363

    And also "Yeah, RIP"

    #90 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1129886 oh hell yes. Oh, will everyting be yellow as well?

    #91 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1129952

    Probably not :P

    Also, for anyone still looking at the comments, the next chapter will be up in two or three days. :applejackunsure:

    #92 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 1d ago · · ·
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    MOAR!!!

    And please show the effect that being punched by Adam can have on ponies.  And the pony opinion on his 'non-lethal' methods.  

    #93 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1129196 Dark Souls was a fantastic game, there is better games, such as HR, but it is a great game

    #94 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Well, I am looking forward to this, even if the fic feels a bit rushed and Taggart is humongously OOC (that old fella never swears or would order an assassination attempt. He's more the calm, intellectual man).

    Also could we please ditch the entire energy bar thingy? It works for gameplay but not for storytelling.

    "Invisibility cloak powered by candy bars

    IT'S A TIME OF GREAT INNOVATION"

    #95 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1130146 Two or three days!?!?! But thats in, like, two or three days time :applecry:

    #96 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1130893

    :pinkiegasp: Ihaveajarofdirtisreadingmystoryimgoingplaces

    One: Jar of Dirt, you're awesome. No two ways around it.

    Two: The story IS tagged with comedy; the energy bars will be coming into play both comedically and practically.

    >>1130911

    I don't have access to an actual computer atm. I'm using my iphone. XD

    #97 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1128386

    On second thought. Nevermind.

    #98 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 1d ago · · ·
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    While I do enjoy this story, I have but one thing that has probably been addressed before, and that is: Slow down, bro! You're rushing through the main plot points too quickly! Just pace out the story more, and everything will be a-okay.

    #99 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 23h ago · · ·
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    hmm, I like it! you've got me interested! Lets party!

    #100 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 22h ago · · ·
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    "Tonight, he lay in his apartment in Detroit, which for reasons unexplainable seemed to be the only apartment in the entire apartment building."

    This, I thought was rather amusing.  Ah yes, we're going by game mechanics I see.  I wonder if there will be houses in Manehattan that are inexplicably un-openable and as far as one can tell are house-shaped empty boxes?  (But what would be the point, story-wise?  Maybe that only applies to the game world he came from, and now that he's in the "real" world that sort of thing doesn't happen :P

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