Reset Password
Resend Verification Email
DontWannaKnow
7
100
93
7
100
93
Joined June 2012
297 followers
Groups
-
39w, 5dThe Proofreader Group
-
39w, 5dFanfic Discussion
-
39w, 3dWriting Gold
-
39w, 5dThe Writer's Group
-
39w, 4dOne-Shots
-
39w, 3dComedy Sketches
- Show All Groups
-
39w, 3dEquestria Daily Rejects
-
39w, 5dTrollfics
-
39w, 3dGeneral Stories and Discussion
-
39w, 3dArt for Fanfiction
-
39w, 3dInsanity
-
39w, 5dScootaloo tragedies and happies
-
39w, 3dRookies on the Rise
-
39w, 5dI Hate Equestria Daily
-
39w, 3dScootaloo
-
39w, 3dRandom is Allowed Here
-
39w, 3dRandom Comedy
-
39w, 5dWTF?
-
39w, 4dTwilight's Library
-
39w, 5dTrollin Ponies
-
39w, 3dScootabuse is Best Abuse
-
39w, 3d502 Fiction
-
39w, 4dThe DWK Fan Club
-
38w, 1dScootaloo
304
11,470
Scootaloo is Slightly Flame Retardant
“Oh dear oh dear oh dear,” Rarity worried, “please, doctor, tell me they’re alright!” Applejack and Rainbow Dash stood beside her, awaiting the news as well.
“Miss Rarity and Miss Applejack, there is no need to worry, your sisters have suffered a few minor first degree burns, nothing serious. They should be healed up within the week.” The doctor was happy to inform them.
“What…what about Scoots?” Rainbow Dash bit her lip.
“Oddly, besides a few charred feathers, Scootaloo shows no signs of injury. You should be very proud of her. If she hadn’t pulled Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle out of that fire things could have been much worse,” the doctor told her.
“Can we see them?” Applejack asked, still fretting a bit.
“Yes, they’re in room 502 right down the hall and to the left.” The doctor pointed a hoof.
Inside the room the three mares found their younger counterparts. Strangely they were in high spirits. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle were lying bandaged up, sharing a hospital bed and Scootaloo was hopping about on the floor, buzzing her little wings.
“Scootaloo got her cutie mark!” the two younger sisters shouted as the orange Pegasus leapt about gleefully, an ear-to-ear grin on her face. Any admonishments the trio of mares had for the little ones were forgotten when they saw how happy the fillies were.
“Let’s see it Scoots!” Rainbow Dash said excitedly.
“Look!” the little Pegasus hopped over to them and showed off the glistening new mark on her flank. It was an image of a tiny flame with an X over it. The mares were confused.
“That’s wonderful Scootaloo dear…” Rarity tried to be tactful, “but, may I ask, what does it mean?” She glanced over at Applejack and Dash but they seemed as confounded as she.
“I think it means I’m fireproof!” Scootaloo said, the joy and awe in her voice was palpable.
“I dunno Scoots,” Rainbow pondered, “you are a little bit burned, so you can’t be fireproof…I don’t think anypony can be fireproof…”
“Huh…” Scootaloo’s excitement decreased a little as she reconsidered her new mark. “Well then maybe it means I’m a good firefighter!” She perked right back up.
“Uh Scootaloo, not to rain on your parade, but you’re the one who started the fire in the first place…” Apple Bloom interjected. Scootaloo’s “Cutie Mark Crusaders torch jugglers” idea hadn’t gone very well.
“Well darn it,” the little Pegasus was starting to get irritated, “What does it mean then? What’s my special talent?”
Rarity, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash exchanged blank expressions.
“Hey why don’t we go ask Twilight,” Dash finally piped up, “she knows everything, I’ll bet she can tell ya!”
“Yeah!” Scootaloo said with renewed excitement, “lets go!”
-----
“Just a minute!” Came the familiar voice as Scootaloo rapped impatiently on the library door. When it opened, a sleepy looking Twilight greeted them, still in her pajamas.
“Did you just get up, hon?” Applejack inquired.
“Yeah, I was up all night re-shelving books…then I decided I didn’t like the way I’d re-shelved them so I had to re-re-shelve them and…oh my, Apple Bloom! Sweetie Belle! What are those bandages for? Are you two alright?”
“The doc says they’ll be fine,” Rainbow Dash said, “thanks to Scoots here,” Rainbow patted her number one fan on the head and tousled her mane.
“Scootaloo saved us…even if she did start the fire in the first place,” Apple Bloom explained.
“Another crusader caper gone awry I’m afraid,” Applejack shot a reproachful glance at her sister.
“I see. So, what brings you all here then?” Twilight wondered.
“Do you know what a picture of a flame with an X over it means?” Rarity asked.
“A fl…oh yeah of course,” Twilight laughed, “In fact…” she turned the waistband of her pajamas inside out. On it was a tag with a symbol identical to Scootaloo’s cutie mark. “It’s used on fabrics and the like. It means ‘flame retardant’.”
“Flame re-what now?” Applejack puzzled
“Flame retardant. It means it won’t burn as easily. You don’t want your P.J.’s going up in flames!”
“I’m fireproof!” Scootaloo shouted with exhilaration, “that is so awesome!”
“Wait what?” Now it was Twilight’s turn to be confused. She stared quizzically at the orange filly until she saw the mark on her flank. “Oh…wow…Scootaloo, your cutie mark…congrats…” she said with a ‘what the fuck?’ style expression on her face.
“Now I can be a torch juggler or a fire breather or something cool like that and I’ll never get burned!” Scootaloo felt like she had super powers.
“Um, hold on a minute there Scootaloo…” Twilight raised a hoof gingerly. Scootaloo stopped bouncing. “Fireproof and flame retardant are two very different things…”
“Huh? Well how different?”
“Well something that’s fireproof won’t burn at all. Something that’s flame retardant will still burn, just not as easily as most things.”
“Well could I still swallow fire?” The filly asked hopefully.
“I wouldn’t recommend it…”
“Could I walk through fire?”
“Um, maybe? You’d have to do it really quickly though…”
“Well what can I do then?” Scootaloo demanded.
“I think this calls for an experiment…”
-----
“Ok see now if I hold my hoof over the candle for more than a second or two, I…ow…I get burned,” Twilight demonstrated, “now you try.”
Scootaloo thrust her hoof into the flame confidently, only to recoil a few seconds later when it started to burn.
“Huh…five seconds…well, that’s three more than most ponies!” Twilight made an attempt at a convincing smile and failed miserably.
“So what’s my special talent then?”
“Well, Scootaloo, it appears you are slightly flame retardant.”
“Like your pajamas?”
“Ehh…yeah…maybe not quite as much, but yeah…” Twilight trailed off.
Scootaloo looked around at her friends, all of whom were doing their best to look happy for her and sucking at it, nervous grins plastered on their faces.
She slumped back onto her haunches and sighed. She looked at her ridiculous cutie mark. “God damnit”
Comments ( 304 )
Post Comment
Refresh
Um... what just happened here...
Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Scootaloo.png
I want that cutie mark. THEN I CAN PLAY WITH FIRE!
Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra_dealwithit.png
Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Rainbow_dealwithit.png
Image: http://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/scootaloo.+you+are+not+invisible+to+me+_b5c020_3516966.jpg
Image: http://t.qkme.me/36axm1.jpg
Image: http://www.pacon.com/paper_products/construction/images/FlameRetardantSymbol.jpg
Thermally resistant... It might be useful for Scootaloo to talk to Rainbow Dash about high-speed flight. It is quite possible that Scootaloo's extra thermal resistance might mean she can fly ballistic (extra-atmospheric) hypersonic trajectories. The fastest mail pony in all Equestria? Who knows? 
Of course, it's just as easily her own inherit magic punishing her for all the stupid stunts she's pulled over the years! 
Very, very funny. Somehow it is inevitable that, when those kids get those marks, it's going to be something weird.
Image: http://alltheragefaces.com/img/faces/png/annoyed-facepalm-picard.pngHaha, so how's life in the Liberal Democratic party?
Congratulations, you've managed to write something that perfectly captures everything I think is wrong about popularity. Pandering to the lowest common denominator works depressingly well.
I always try to comment on everything I read, whether to congratulate or advise as the situation demands. In this case, it's the latter. Firstly, this is trying to be a comedy. Humour generally works because the outcome is unexpected. If you can see the punchline of a joke, then it won't have much of an effect when it comes. This story's title is the punchline. You waste 1000 words building up to something that you've already told us. There's no comedic or emotional kick at the end because we've spent the entire story knowing exactly what the state of scootaloo's talent is. It's just 1000 words of boring because of this. The swearing, which is perhaps trying to be another comedic kick, just feels out of place. It's a cheap and hackish method of achieving that unexpected event by doing something that doesn't fit in-universe.
I could go and pick the actual technical writing apart, too--everything from poor characterisation to awkward wording--but honestly, that would be a disservice to you. There's no point fixing the relatively small issues when the main problem--you haven't written something worth reading (and seriously, at 1000 words, or about one minute thirty seconds, that's almost an achievement)--still exists.
Your technical writing is not terrible, however I suggest in future you think a little harder about the actual ideas and themes in your work.
BEST. COMMENT. EVER!
I just lost my sh
t
Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Scootaloo_lolface.png
Image: http://s3.amazonaws.com/kym-assets/photos/images/newsfeed/000/187/315/71646%20-%20macro%20meme%20reaction_face%20scootaloo%20screencap.png.jpg?1318992465
It is indeed quite random, deserving of the tag. Mildly amusing, but it's not quite my taste. Others before me have commented it better than I can explain: it's random, a little funny, but not that funny.
On the bright side; it does give Scootaloo something original as a talent. Sure, she's not fireproof, but she can be a great firefighter, and be extra protected if she goes into stunt scooting. Wait...that doesn't go for friction burns...would still help somewhat if she went jumping through flaming hoops, though. Mastering fireworks is an option...if one that should be explored when she's older and smarter.
It did add something... I think that replacing "God" with "Celestia" would make it 20% cooler though. Maybe "Celestia send it to the moon!" but that would be a bit wordy. In any case it needs a period.
Oh, I don't know. It means that her potential is STILL wide open. It is very versatile. Not really a cutie-mark though, really more of a "side talent" like Pinkie's reality warping or the specific magical powers of most unicorns (of course Rarity is the only UNICORN whose horn-talent we know). I guess what I am saying is that it isn't much of a cutie-mark, but it is nothing to sneeze at as a special ability.
Or go for something a bit more setting specific like "What the buck".
You leave her alone! 
My point exactly.
...True.
"" indeed.
-I dunno... Sweetie Belle = Musical Note and Applebloom = Hammer seem pretty likely and predictable. Maybe not those exact marks but something fairly straight-forward in the areas of singing and carpentry. Then again, Applebloom could be anything crafting related, I wouldn't be surprised if she ended up becoming Zecora's apprentice in alchemy for instance. Scootaloo's particular mark is the hardest to predict, since we mostly see them failing at athletics. We know she can scoot and pirouette (although she would prefer a less cutesy term).
-That would actually be a pretty cool effect if it works... too bad a negative result on a test would kill her... maybe if they just sent a single feather as a test?
All in all... fav to reread, but no thumb in either direction, mostly due to it being a supernatural property, rather than a talent area.
Rarity does not approve! Still funny though. ^^
You're thinking about this way too much, it's featured because it's funny and has a catchy title. Also I just flat out disagree with what you said. The ending is hilarious, because it's blunt. Not everything has to be literary genius to be funny. Quite the contrary really.
Blunt? Well, at barely over the minimum length for publishing, yes, it is blunt. That doesn't make it good, though, unless your definition of good is something that's flat out out-of-character and out-of-universe. That's just lazy. Not everything has to be a paragon of literary quality, however merit is not binary. You don't have to choose between being 1984 or a pointless, vapid excuse for human creativity. There is middle ground. There is a LOT of middle ground. Implying that you don't have to even try to write something with any worth is... Honestly depressing to me as both a writer and a consumer. Garbage like this is, at best, good for two minutes of distraction, even if you somehow manage to not see the punchline coming (hint: it's the title), it won't be remembered. Something so ephemeral could be good if the joke were funny, or the idea within was imaginative or new, or the writing was stellar, but no. A great writer could write 1000 words and come up with The Cough--that's writing something short for a reason. This is writing something short because the idea can't power anything more. Please, please don't defend it on the grounds of "Not everything has to have merit", because frankly that's the most fucking depressing thing I've read all day--and I read this today.
As I said at the top of my comment, it's depressing that targeting the lowest common denominator is successful. You may find stories that completely disregard the source material, give away the punchline of the joke, and put the bare minimum effort in enjoyable, but as I said--lowest common denominator.
Cancel
Send