The northern wastes are hardly forgiving... one might wonder, why anypony would choose to live on these frigid lands? But lo and behold... the wastelanders hunger' knows no bounds... not one, but two citites sucessfully sprouted among the northlands: Stalliongrad, as a phoenix revived from the ruins of its former self by a rag-tag group of zebra outcasts, and Hoofsburg, a small ghost town refurbished by the NCR in order to properly explore the coal mine nearby.
These two cities vie for control over the resources of these frigid lands, however, an unlikely adventurer's fate might tip off the delicate balance between these two powers...
(rated T for teen due to swearing and violence.)
Chapters (3)
So, hello... whoever might be reading this. Just a few things... this is my first fic, and I would really appreciate feedback! Please, do comment, be it a critic, a suggestion, a compliment or whenever... by knowing what's on your mind, I'll be able to tweak the story into a more pleasurable experience for you, reader. Yes, that's it... thanks for reading.
1117318 I think the pacing needs a bit of work, and a bit more of a description of the character's setting, ie where he is.
Other than that though, looks like you got your grammar and paragraph structure down fine.