25
74
17
Joined November 2011
151
2,982
Poor Spike, all he wanted to do is spend time near the pony he adores. Now, because of one little lie, he's in real trouble. A geography bee, a macabre doppelgänger, and an icebox all play their part as Spike and Rarity once again find themselves on pins and needles...
You... you bastard. A story this short and simple isn't supposed to bring me to the brink of tears. It's cruel, and unseemly, and evil, and I won't stand for it, and maybe I'll just read it again one more time. Or two. Or ten.
THIS is exactly the kind of character work I'm always trying to push for. *sigh*
TD, you magnificent bastard...
I read your story.
Wow, that's great. You managed to make a nice story about the feelings Spike and Rarity has for each other by taking the canon and building on it, but it never felt as if you made stuff up to fit your story. My favourite part is the "who is that mare? bits that shows how undeserving Rarity felt.
This is TD's whole problem. His stories aren't eye-catching, the titles don't stand out, and the descriptions seem generic. Instead his stories are emotionally gripping, the titles perfectly fit the actual stories and he's just a generally great writer - but you only find that out when you read them. Sadly, stories are posted to the site faster than they can be read, so only the ones that seem to stand out from the crowd from summary alone gets much attention. And therefore Scootaloo Is Slightly Flame Retardant ends up in the feature box and this does not.
Work! Bah! Disregard work, acquire Pony stories!
I hope you enjoy it when you find the time to read!
When you consider how vast the galaxy is and how immense the scope of time, you were pretty damn close to being first!
Damn! Grammar error! Damn, damn, damn.
Description was changed... I dare suggest it's the reason for the instantaneous "six derrière" salute.
If I have to be a bastard, I'm glad it's a magnificent one!
I'm very glad that you do, sir.
Yes, trying to put the whole relationship as we see it in canon into context was the whole point of the story, and I'm glad that came through!
Heh, thank you so much!
Because the world is a cruel, unhappy place? That and the original description sucked. Anywho, I'm glad you enjoyed it!
My guess was that the original description turned them off. I'm glad that you enjoyed it though!
Thanks!
Packing? Moving or vacationing? Business, pleasure, or cross-border flight from the law? In any case, I look forward to your thoughts when you have a chance!
Thanks so much! I really appreciate it!
I'm very glad that you enjoyed it. Yeah, I liked that little scene too! Tnanks for taking the time to read and comment!
>>1130693 for school down south
not looking forward to the heat.Dawwww, a true work of art with giggles thrown in but so perfectly placed that they did not disturb the mood.
I was worried when Twilight came over playing with the "skin puppet" she had broken her brain like that time she was late for her report.
also I think his skin puppet is cool!
This was beautiful. You've brought me damn near to tears for the last half of this chapter, and I've only cried over stories... three? I think three times before. I can only remember the name of one, and it's the one that makes just about everyone cry.
A wonderful peek into Rarity's head as well.
I love this. I can't understand where all those thumbs down came from.
"she chocked as her body deflated" "chocked" should be "choked"
Salud.
>> WaffleyWhen you consider how vast the galaxy is and how immense the scope of time, you were pretty damn close to being first!
Nice counter-troll sir, I'm one of many who most assuredly hate it when people just post such dimwitted horseapples such as that.
Ah, Spike. DeviantART would love to have you. And ouch... This reminds me of the time I sat on crapload of nails while on a construction job. I had on jeans, so no permanent damage. It still hurt though. Great job here, just one thing that I'm not sure of. When Rarity calls Sweetie Belle dearest, and Spike darling, should they be capitalized? I have no idea.
>>1130333 I see a flaw in your argument: it assumes that there are people who don't already follow him and don't know to drop everything else as soon as the notification arrives telling of a new story of his. Such a world seems extremely unlikely, and, since it would mean people would be deprived of the joy of reading stories like this, would not be a happy place.
Man, this story has more character development than a word count this low has the right to have. Seriously, you've got the power to move us with words - those monologues, especially the last, bring more life to the story than I could ever imagine.
Have five hearts out of four and something special:
Cross-country escape from the law sounds more fun, eh?
Heh, I'm glad that there was "just enough" humor! I'm proud of Twi's scene there, too! Thanks so much for reading and commenting!
Thanks again!
*Hands a tissue.*
Thank you so much! I'm very glad that I was able to write something that was heartwarming!
I'm very glad that you found the work so beautiful. I guess the down-votes came based on the original description... which was pretty bad. Thanks for the grammar catch!
Heh, I almost had Spike give it a name! Glad you enjoyed it!
That is quite the compliment! Thank you so much!
It means a lot to me that you've acquired this as part of your personal canon. Thanks so much!
Thanks al, you know I appreciate that!
I was wondering about that. The way it was explained is that at the time she's using it, it becomes their nicknames, so therefore proper nouns. When she's using them as descriptors, such as "my dearest" or "a darling", then they are adjectives. Anywho, if I'm wrong I'll change it when the grammar police come!
Ouch about the nails! Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment!
You guys are making me blush!
Oh wow, thank you so much for the compliment! A Rarity applaud and everything! I really appreciate that you think that the monologues came through, as I was worried about them!
I appreciate the compliments! Thanks for taking the time to read and comment!
Coming to grips with her own feelings, written amazingly well. Spike felt real, and I just... how he... yeah. Emotions everywhere. Real and relatable, done very smoothly.
You've managed to move Rarity up higher on my list of favorite ponies.
Very nice! I love how you are able to build upon what we see in the show, without having to resort to outrageous exposition. These guided tours of Rarity's heart show the depths of feeling, the fact that she knows she was a bit on the shallow side and how she felt ... unsure of herself and her role in life and how much she is striving to become the mare that Spike sees.
Also adorkable Twilight is adorkable! 
Seriously, having Twilight try to use the fake Spike to ease the tension is classic!
One little nitpick:
Twilight stood standing in the doorway as Spike and Rarity embraced one another,
Might want to fix that soon, it is too tender of a moment to be marred by such a small mistake.
Yayness, a happy ending. I've enjoyed this immensely, now just two small things.
"She wondered if she'd even recognize herself from Twilight's fist slumber party of two years ago."
Should be first instead of fist...
"Therefore I've told the truth to that fine young man out there."
Do ponies even have that word in their vocabulary? I've got no clue...
Like I said, I've enjoyed this immensely, and I can't wait for your next story!
Say that three times fast while being poked with a sharp stick!
I'm very glad that the emotions came through for you, as that appears to be one of my strengths. Thank you, as always, for reading and commenting!
Dude I will drive to your home/place of employment and do your work/chores for you if you'll spend that time reading the story! You know how much I love your comments!
Excellent!
I'm glad you took the time to read it... now get some sleep!
Ah! I must have "derped" it... 
Thanks for the catch! I don't know about the second... doesn't Twilight call the Crusaders "girls" at one point? Anywho, thank you so much for reading!
You can say how awesome my beard... wait, deja vu!
Heh, don't get chilly on my account! I'm glad that it was emotionally moving for you, and thanks again for reading and faving!
>>1133088 Yes, she has refered to the crusaders and the rest of the Mane six as girls before, so I'm pretty sure girl and boy exist in their vocabulary, but I'm not so sure about man. I always just use stallion, or colt. One might argue that Rarity wouldn't use stallion or colt for Spike, as he is a dragon, but I think she may, since it's just what's she's used to saying. Spike probably wouldn't know the difference either, as he was raised by ponies, and probably has similar thoughts to ponies.
oh p.s.
There was even a certain owner and operator of a noted doughnut shop in Canterlot who frequently referred to her as “a smart cookie”.
I see what you did there...
Wow, such an amazing character driven story with the interactions between Spike and Rarity and how you drove there actions that they made in the story and made them 100% believable and I love how you ended the story. So all and all amazing job this story deserves more news.
Damn. Damn! That was good man, it actually had me on feet. It was kinda like in Rocky where he knocked Apollo down. I mean when Spike stretched his back out for Rarity's pins-- I was kind of like "Oh shit, he's doing it! Oh shit! He's taking it like a champ!!"
.......and then he started bleeding.....ooooooooo.......uh oh .....
You know how often a fanfiction makes me feel that way? Only when Im reading the absolute best fanfiction. Carry on!
I'm glad that I was able to transcend your shipping pairings to make this work for you! Thanks for taking the time to read, Type, you know I look forward to your feedback.
Oh! And you're the first to notice the A Cup of Joe reference!
True enough!
Thank you so much for saying so! I'm especially glad that you liked how the story was character driven. Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment!
I'm glad that my writing was able to provide so much emotion for you. Thanks so much for taking the time to read it and leave feedback!
Well, I could PM you my current residence if you live that close.
You know I love reading your stuff, I just have so much to do. College class started Monday, school starts tomorrow, and I have soccer practice every day, so finding time to read is difficult. 
Thanks for taking the time to leave a comment for each chapter. I'm very glad that you found it enjoyable! I'm especially glad that you found Rarity's characterization so good!
The crux of this story was to have Rarity come to an understanding of why Spike has a crush on her, to define their relationship (one which has changed substantially over the two seasons) as we see it in canon. I certainly don't believe that I've written anything "cringe-worthy", and if I thought that I was... well, I wouldn't have written it.
I'm gad that you enjoyed the writing, and as always I appreciate you checking in.
The best part about this story was that it made sense. It fit canon and had a good ending without breaking anything or making things up just to make people happy. I didn't think I was going to like this story when I first read it, yet now I'm wishing there was more. Beautiful piece you have here, great writing!
>>1131821 About the capitalization of "Darling", my book on English grammar has this to say:
Capitalize titles used in direct address.Doctor, I have a pain in my side.
Nurse, please bring me the bandages.
So I'd say that it should be capitalized when used in place of their names, but not when used after their name. Such as:
"Spike, darling, could you fetch my #4 needle?"
"My pleasure, Lady Rarity."
"Why, thank you, Darling. Could you feed Opal as well? She's been in a absolutely dreadful mood lately."
"Anything for you, Rarity, my sweet."
"What was that, Spike?"
"Uh, nothing. I'll get right on that...thing you wanted me to do." *Pitter, patter, pitter, patter*
What I like most so far is that the story is entirely believable. A lot of the time, RariSpike stories I've read play out an unlikely scenario whereas the events going on here are proven to have happened in canon (or at least similar situations)
Your writing style is very engaging. A few minor errors (misplaced commas, etc) but nothing that ruins the experience. Can't wait to read the rest!
Thank you! That was exactly what I was going for, a story that explained their relationship exactly as it is in the series. I'm glad it fit the bill for you! Thanks for reading and commenting!
Heh, I'm glad that you got so many feels out of it, and I'm sorry that I may have put you in a position to miss some deadlines! I'm very glad you read it though, and I'm sure there are some more "feels" for you in my other stories!
Well, there we go... looks like I have some editing to do before I try to sneak this onto Equestria Daily, huh?
I'm very, very glad that you found that they could work in canon. I was definitely trying to explain their relationship as it exists in canon, and I'm glad that it fit for you. Sorry about the errors, I always think that I've caught them!
Nice story, really liked the almost poetry like repititions "about the mare that he thought he saw".
I have a question though, in more than one fic you made, you have called Spike for "summoner", what does that come from? Another one of your fics? If so, what one?
Unbelievable. I... I am absolutely blown away by yet another one of your amazing works!
The well tied in humor, the stunning display of Rarity and Spike's thought patterns, the intricate wording that breathed elegant meaning to every word they spoke, the emotions being elicited by not only the characters, but myself included! An experience to behold!
By the way, I am still shaking from the last scene in Chapter One!
Well done!
Spike made a model/doll of himself using his old scales. I'm glad you liked the story!
"DSummoner" is a little bit of my personal universe, a title for what he does. As his job is to summon letters for Twilight, he's her "summoner". I've used it before in The Talk and a few other stories. I'm glad you enjoyed the repetitions!
I'm glad that reading the work was such a moving experience for you! I try my best to blend many emotions into each work, and it makes me happy to know that each came through for you! I'm very glad that I'm still writing things that you enjoy reading!
This was an amazing story! I love how you showed rarity's doubt, it added so much to how I view her. I think the best part about the story is that none of the characters feel overused. It was a perfectly written story and I look forward to reading other things you have published.
Honestly must say I didn't like the story that much really, I did like the inner monologue questioning Rarity was doing, but I didn't like how the further I got into the story, the more I felt spikes mentality was devolving into something lesser than what it really was,, and that just killed it more and more for me. If I remember correctly it was a similar reason why I didn't like "The talk", due to how spike's mentality was being portrayed but that's just me. I'm not going to downvote your story or anything (I've never once did that to anyone's story actually.)
You certainly have the right to feel however you feel about the story, and I'm honestly glad that you feel you can tell me the truth about your opinion. I have to ask though, what was it that made you feel that Spike's character was "devolving" through the work? I tried my best to keep him as close to canon as I could (his jumping to conclusions in Owl's Well, his getting stuck with going ahead with a bad idea despite knowing it was wrong in Dragonquest).
I'm probably jinxing myself by saying this, but if you honestly feel that a story deserves a down vote, then you should feel free to give it a down vote. You, unlike many others, at least have the courtesy to explain your position.
Beware the wall of word!!
Well I have to disagree with you on dragon quest, while thats my most hated episode for how dragons got the short end of the stick (like always in media, yes I am a dragon fanatic.) That quest was something he needed to take, the problem was (and I assume this is where you get that bad idea part from), instead of talking with the elder dragons ones who could probably recite dragons history and culture to him, he ran to children from answers... the whole episode went down hill from there, with spike learning a lesson which could have been better if it was.. more own him learning about who he was and a culture he came from instead up w/e it was suppose to be (i kinda blocked the episode out, I know it was suppose to be him accepting himself for who he was, which in no other part of the series, he had any doubt on being who he was though.)
The thing with the Owlicious episode to me was him making a mistake on judgement, no different from how twilight thought she was going to get sent back to kindergarten, Applejack thought everyone would be disappointed she didn't come in first and bring any prize money back from the rodeo, pinkie thinking everyone didn't like her anymore, or so on. The only difference between those situation and spike is the fact people view spike as a baby because of his size and being called a baby dragon, ignoring the key word "Dragon." Meaning his mentality may not be the same as a colt or filly his age, (which it isn't.)
(Note: Another reason I hated dragon quest, rainbow dash had no effing reason to be there, the only reason she was there was because he was the one main character to have the least amount of screen time with spike. She filled no important role, changed no wave of the story, she didn't need to be there at all.)
Now with that said, and this is my personal opinion, the Dragon quest episode was a large contradiction to how dragons so far have been seen and spoken of in the series, but that is a different discussion all together. The owlicious episode showed a weakness in spike that you really don't see in any other episodes. Watching through out that whole series and spikes mentality one more mature than even the mane 6 at times, especially in some episode where it seems to already understand the lessons before twilight did, or even able to stop things from falling apart (which he did when it came to sweetie and rarity in the sisterhood social.)
Lets not forget, the fact his "caregiver" seems to be more dependent on him this visa versa as he not only cooks for her, but cleans up after her and even willing to go so far as to do things for her friends so they can do take care of stuff. Than asks little in return, doesn't even complain when his sisters birthday party was moved to canterlot and he didn't get to go. That is not the mentality of a child, but a grown man who's willing to sacrifice more than he should have had to, just to see (not literally) his friend and (I do use this term likely) family happy. I am still more convinced that spike is twilights slave the little assistant or family which is the way he is suppose to be seen. Out of all of twilight's friends, spike has been with her the longest, been there with her through thick and thin, and should be the most important to her out of everyone. The only episode we even see that is in the dragon quest where spike choice to stay with the dragon should have had some more serious wait.
Ok, I've been going to deep into spike, yes I have broken spikes character up, because he is easily the most complex character in the whole series with only Rarity coming close to him really. Now with that said and me not even going into the royal work he does for the princess, you can find where he does joke around or have childish moments, but so does the mane 6. Pinkie for one is easily by far more childish than him, but she doesn't have the label "baby" infront of earth pony so its written of as her having a carefree/fun mentality and not a..lets say Hatchlings mentality and yet spike easily holds more responsibility, works harder, and more mentally stable than her.
Now when it comes to the fanfics I've been reading, and this is why while I do have quite a bit of sparity and spike fics I like. They do tend to annoy me because they seem to follow the same trends...
1. Devolve spikes mentality to one of a baby or child...
This one seems to be legendary, spike gets placed into scenario or make choices that he already wouldn't do in cannon. This is something I can over look when it comes to things involving Rarity, because everyone seems to see this as his biggest childish attribute. Where I don't I look at it as proof, Celestia, nor twilight ever really cared for spike in the first place. If they did it would have been more merciful to either kill him after the egg hatched or released him in the wild near a nest of dragons. Why, because they took their worlds most deadliest predator and tried to integrate him into a society as twilight's pet...im sorry slav...I mean assistant. So that little crush is going to be cute while he's in that baby state, but what happens when he gets bigger? Even, even if he gets over rarity, he's going to fall for another pony and this time it won't be cute, just creepy and scary. He can't fall in love with a dragon, he doesn't know any, he knows nothing of dragon culture or rituals that might come with finding a mate. All because twilight wanted her little assistant, the fact he associated with ponies could possible even get him alienated from dragonkin, and same thing with ponies for him being a growing hunter.. that's if he grows which leads to the second trend.
2. People tend to put the story in the future where spike has "grown" physically to match his mentality.
This is more forgiving to me than the first, but I've yet to see someone go outside the box when it came to this. Everyone seems to assume he is going to grow based on time if he doesn't practice greed. There is little to know evidence proving that, you can try to bring up twilight's flash back, but that is theoretical at best really (same when it comes to arguing the time gap between spike and the mane 6). My theory is the only way for a dragon to age, is to practice greed, the the older they get the greedier, and this is where twilight and Celestia fails. For spike to age like a proper dragon in the series, he has to practice greed, but also understand moderation. He has to learn how control himself, right now he's not practicing it in moderation he's simply trying to hold it back and fight instincts (of course the show not about him or for a more mature audience, so the complexity that comes with spike would be more obvious.) You can ask how did he age up to now, the answer is simple...greed. There is more than one form of greed, the most known forms are material wants and power. You can be greedy for knowledge, or even someone. Up til recent events, his whole concept or notion of greed could easily have been seen as being helpful or useful to twilight. Which can explain how she can take advantage of him and not really appreciate him until without him really thinking much of it. When which actually explain why, more draconic instincts took over when owlicious, trespassed into his territory and took from his horde (helping twilight.) I don't know if you could tell, but the dragon both at the end of that episode, and in *chokes* dragonshy; seemed to act a awful a lot like how spike did, when something was taken from their horde (spike in the owlicious episode).
Ok I am stopping here... I just went into my whole personal (actually left a bit out so 70%) analysis on spike and I am pretty sure I didn't answer your question lol. Well I kinda did, to understand why some does or doesn't like something you have to understand their thoughts on thus subject. When it comes to the thing of downvoting and up voting. I don't really do it, OK I do upvote stories I do enjoy for one reason or another, but I never downvote stories I don't. Simply because it may not be for me or my type of story. Some people don't try to analyze and create a connection with things that might otherwise have no connection at all (like I did with spike and the other two dragons, the one in everfree forest, and the one that was taking a hundred year sleep. Or the different forms of greed and how spike grew so fare without being bound to time like ponies and everything. Some people are complacent with the things that are placed there in front of them, and some people like to dig and find deeper connections (hiya). So why should I downvote a story that doesn't make the similar connection I would expect or like to see?
Wall of text indeed!
I certainly agree that Spike is the most complex character in the series, but I have to say I see a world of difference in our interpretation of canon. I don't want to think that Spike's destiny is to end up an animal, like we see him. I also prefer to believe that there are reasons why Celestia had Twilight raise Spike... reasons that will end up saving them both.
I think it's great that that you don't downvote stories because they differ from your personal fanon. I had assumed that you had said that you disliked this story because I'd failed to characterize Spike properly, instead of what you actually meant, so that was my fault.
I actually don't view any of the dragons as "animals" I believe them to be a separate culture, one that ponies know nothing about. As much as I don't like make this reference, it fits perfectly. Ponies and dragons is like (your going to have to forgive me here, I suck with naming dates and time periods), 1700 - 1800 Europe and Africa... Or Colonial America/n and Africa/n, Africans were viewed as animals even lesser species do to ignorance in general and ignorance of culture. Ponies know nothing of Dragons, they are to scared to attempt to study or befriend them with the obvious exception. So we get this depiction of a group of animals, that are very territorial. Yet while I hated the dragon quest episode, it did provide answers to the simple fact, dragons are sentient beings just like ponies. They seem to have some kind of structured hierarchy, or garble and them wouldn't be acting the way they do with one dragon leading the other. Now how the dragon Hierarchy actually works we may never know because MLPFIM is a show about the lessons learned, not how the world works. This really sucks for someone like me who is very interested in how the world works and how everything is designed, which were actually the only two reasons I gave the show a chance in the first place.
Well to avoid another wall of text, I never saw spike as a animal, a pet or slave definitely, whether this was on purpose can be argued.
lol, there are people who will dislike a story simply because its sparity, I could take that right and dislike a story because it doesn't fall in my fanon....90% of the stories on here would be disliked instantly. I hate most shippings outside of Sparity, because majority make no damn since.... I mean come one Vinyl and Octavia..... and omg don't get me started on background characters....it just makes no since to me..majority of them have no stepping stone, or basis for there to be the amount of...popularity that some of these characters have...again looking at you vinyl and octavia.... I
>>1152286 He essentially too his old skin and made a stuffed version of himself, using newspaper (Equestria Daily) as the stuffing.
TD, interesting premise so far for this story. I kind of guessed in my head as I was reading along what would happen. That Spike would be injured with the pins, though that would not be hard to guess (see story picture).
Still, I am liking this so far and I look forward to reading more.
On a slightly side note...
*eye twitch* WHY MUST YOU TEMPT US SO WITH THIS ANCIENT NAMELESS UNSPEAKABLE EVIL?!?! 
Poor Spike. To be put through that sort of pain and torture for silly reasons. If he had just been up front about all of this, he would not be in this much pain. Then again, he probably would not have gotten this much affection out of Rarity.
Twilight is going to be a mixture of disappointment and anger at her little brother.
Still liking this!
“Spike, Darling, kindly dis-attach yourself from my bathroom ceiling, your claws are damaging the stucco.”
HA! This would be even funnier if she had not dropped any peroxide on him yet when he did this and it was just a drop of water.
===================
...
Twi...
She had good intention though.
====================
pondering what part of dragon’s blood made it change color from the deep red of earlier to the purple that sat before her.That is a very good question. I am a bit curious about this as well.
================
All in all TD, I absolutely loved this piece. I liked the references that you put into it (Cup of Joe... nice), I liked the emotions that you played around with in this, and I liked how it all led up to Rarity accepting her love for Spike.
Well done Sir! Well done!
>>1219936 I largely agree with most of what you said, and moreso your disdain for Dragon Quest. Most of the time Spike of far more grounded than Twilight is, with most of his noteworthy insecurities coming from Twilight often being a little too casual about the master/slave relationship they seem to have.
>>1221319 I wholeheartedly approve of this take on Rarity's relationship with Spike. I did pretty much the same dynamic for my own work, except that it was part of a larger story, rather than the focus of it. Suffice to say I had Spike get a little of the recognition he clearly deserved (note: whist I'm never too shy about prompting folks to go read my story, give it month, because a complete overhaul is in the works. Mark it for later, you won't be disappointed!).
The really weird thing is—and I really haven't had cause to say this for a good while—I actually felt it was a little too long. Not in the pure sense of word count (100k+ don't faze me, so 15k is paltry), but I found some of the emotional context a little drawn out, which started to feel like having the point forced on me rather than feel natural. Now, I think it's only fair to put that into context by saying that I am a good bit older than your average audience, so there is a very real possibility that I am on my own on this one. Personally, I'd have wanted to see some form of intertwined sub-plot (more meaningful that Sweetie-Bell's dress) that allowed you to space out some of the emotion. It's a bit full-on without something to break it up, and sometimes that actually reduces the efficacy of the prose, rather than heightening it; yet, the actual length of the story was clearly necessary to allow those emotions time to breathe. So I think you had the physical length right, it's just that the pace felt a little flat for much of it.
Beyond that, a few patches of word repetition, one or two lines that felt clunky, but over 15k words, I'd say that a pretty good showing. You've been on my radar for a while, so I'll try to catch up with your other works over the week. I was going to start with Cup of Joe since Chris gave it such a strong review, but your comments make me think I might enjoy The Talk more.
I'll letcha know!
-Scott 'Inquisitor' Mence.
Thank you so much!
Is that a good "jeeze", or a bad "jeeze", my friend?
Heh, I was in a position where I couldn't figure out a way to give the story much more context without dragging it out another 10k words. I hope that explains why there seems to be some drawn out emotional context... I was simply latching onto that rather than risking losing my readers in another sub-plot.
Thanks for another honest review!
Thank you so much! I'm very glad that you enjoyed those elements, as they were important to me. Thanks for reading and commenting.
It's not, really... no more than her telekinesis. I had thought that I'd portrayed her as weak at it, but did it come across too strong? Anywho, thanks for reading!
This, if you'd excuse my horrendously British mannerism, was a cracking read. Apart from the odd typo or grammatical slip-up, it was a fresh and insightful look into both sides of the relationship between Spike and Rarity. Definitely one of my favourite fics. Bravo, Descendant 
>>1284282 Totally didn't stalk you here
And as for you Descendant, cool story bro
Now that I finally remembered to read this fic (as you may recall, the last time I tried I got side tracked by the Youth in the Garden!), it is, as I expected to your usual high standard.
I am a bit of a fan of Spike/Rarity, partly because it's unusual (with the younger male/older female dynamic) and also partly because Spike tends to be a bit of the punching bag (in canon and fanon - especially in the latter in the myriad "Spike grows up old and alone and everyone he knows dies" that in particular comprised a lot of the early fanworks.) Like you, though, I see Spike as being an inherently social fellow (and as or more mature than the Mane Six on a good day...!), which would make his isolation and misery even more tragic. Fortunately, canon has at least now provided him with a phoenix, which at least mitigitates that somewhat. So I like to think he ought to succeed in his romantic endevours, because if you can't get a happy ending in Equestria...
(I also personally peg him as being a bit older, more in the mid-to-later teens, on the basis that he is at least self-sufficient enough to be left on his own for long periods and even to be responsible for dependants. Then again I also headcanon him normal fire and teleport fire breath (on account of the latter being Too Awesome Not To Have), so milage and all that! )
But this was excellently done, as I expected from you by this point. Keep up the good work!
I imagine him as having regular fire as well, as all other dragons do, and I doubt he sent all of that popcorn to Princess Celestia in Over a Barrel.
We'll have to disagree about our different perceptions of his age, as he's just so much of a kid in my view. Still, I don't see that much of an age difference between him and the mane six ponies, perhaps 6-9 years. I agree that he's a lot more mature than a lot of the cast at times, still he's got this childish sense of fun... he's just a great character and it's no surprise that he's in most of my stories.
I'm very glad that you finally got around to reading this story, and as always I'm appreciative of the feedback!
I've never really liked Raritys character honestly. She's always seemed pretty shallow to me, and more importantly, very manipulative. She didn't seem vindictive in her manipulations, so I didn't actively dislike her, but her personality wasn't really one I could say I liked.
And then a story like this comes along, and I really fall in love with her character again. I really think she might be the most flawed of the Main Six, but when an author really delves into her, she becomes the most interesting. She's still not my favorite, but man, when a story this good pops up, it goes a long way toward making me really like her... Mane?
Anyhoo, I really like your take on Rarity here, and commend you on an extremely enjoyable story. Always enjoy your work.
It means a lot to me that the story was created in a way that allows you to view the character in a new light. I'm very glad that I was able to write something that provided you that opportunity, and that you enjoyed. Thanks for saying that you enjoy my stuff, and a big thanks for reading and commenting!
What more can I say that has not been said? Nothing, but I will try anyway :).
This was a POWERFUL story. You took the show and then by applying a critical thinking, created a much deeper version of it. This is the kind of stories that I love. I am glad you did not take the easy route and avoided excessive darkness. Your fic is IMHO as good storywise as it was possible - great job!
The only downside for me was that there was a bit too much Rarity internal monologues. I think the story would benefit from either being a bit shorter (but just a bit!) or (even better!) show more about the future. I would like to stress that my critique does not mean the story is bad or badly written (it's just the opposite!).
Reset Password
Resend Verification Email
2,982 ( 7,904 )
More
Less
Post Comment
Refresh
Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra_cry.png
Image: http://bronymagic.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/wtf_face_twilight_by_fluffywuffs-d4cx9gi.png?w=604
Image: http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/327/845/282.jpg
we ran out of room on the moon
Image: http://fc08.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2011/271/d/b/rarity_clap_by_mihaaaa-d4b7kr9.gif
Image: http://www.fbgif.com/wp-content/uploads/gifs1201/1233928590_citizen%20kane%20clapping_www_fbgif_com.gif
Image: http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7onfd7sfz1r4j812.gif
Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Rainbow_dealwithit.png
Image: http://denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw5715-12257.gif
Cancel
Send