Chapter 4
The dawn brought with it a warm, dry breeze from the northeast, rolling in waves over the grassland and gently rustling the ponies’ coats. They rose one by one to gather in the center of their makeshift campsite and munch on the grass, which had a bland yet filling taste. It would make good trail food for their long journey ahead, so Applejack insisted they gather some of it to replace what little they had eaten while in the mountains, as well as the night before. Conversation was mostly excited speculation on what they would find in the days ahead - nopony seemed inclined to spoil the mood by rehashing their adventures in the tunnels.
Luna, still working on adjusting her sleeping to match that of the others, was the last to arise. They were in no hurry, and let her sleep. “After all”, said Pinkie Pie, “you can’t expect the Princess of the Night to be a morning pony!” When she finally woke, about an hour after Rainbow Dash had staggered up bleary-eyed for breakfast, Luna gave a great stretch of her wings, legs, and back, then stood and faced the wind, starfield mane streaming behind her. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, held it for a moment, then released it with a whispered, “Free...”
“I’m sorry, Princess?” asked Twilight, who had been watching the larger pony for signs of wakefulness and had trotted over when she began to stir, “What was that?”
“I said that I am free! No more endless drudgery of government! No more, ‘what would the Princess like for tea this evening? May I draw the Princess a bath? Would the Princess like someone to lick her hooves for her?’. No more meetings with the Right Honorable Chairman of the Grand High Council of Pool Hall Managers. Nothing! For the first time in much more than a thousand years, I may do as I please!” She drew in an enormous breath and bellowed, “FREE!”. With a noise like a gunshot, her tabard and crown burst off of her, flying a couple hundred feet before landing with a muffled thud.
“Um.. Princess... I’m sure we’re all very happy for you...” began Twilight as Luna pranced about in glee, “but shouldn’t you bring those back? I mean... they’re powerful magical artifacts, and in the wrong hands....”
“Must I?” Luna pouted, her lower lip quivering. She stared at Twilight as the unicorn grew more and more uncomfortable, then abruptly laughed. “You are right of course, Twilight Sparkle. A moment’s fancy, nothing more.” Her vestments glowed a deep blue as they drifted across the field and back onto their owner.
By this time the other five Element bearers had gathered, and Night’s Mistress turned to address them all. “My friends. I feel the time has come to talk of many things. After some... interesting discussions with Twilight Sparkle, I have decided to hold nothing back, to keep no secrets. So. No doubt many of you have wondered why it is only we seven who have undertaken this journey. After all, if we are to be a new nation, we shall need a few stallions at the very least. Yes?”
For a moment, all eyes turned to Rainbow Dash, who had, in fact, asked that very question - with a somewhat more ribald emphasis - four or five times a day since Luna had first proposed the idea of their little journey. Then Applejack spoke up. “I figured we were gonna be a scouting party or some such. Map out the route, find a nice spot for folks to set up, then head back to Equestria and round up some proper settlers. That’s how Braeburn and Sheriff Silverstar founded Appleloosa, back in the day.”
Luna smiled and nodded. “Indeed, that is the usual method for expanding Equestria’s frontier. However, in this case, there is another reason. You see, we are not here to simply wander aimlessly until we chance upon some nice spot. I have a destination in mind. We are headed for the Citadel.”
“The... Citadel?” asked Fluttershy timidly. “Oh my... that sounds...”
“Awesome!” interjected Rainbow. “What is it?”
“The Citadel was the pinnacle of pony civilization some... oh, let us say four thousand years past. It was founded at the dawn of what ponies today know as the pre-classical era. My sister and I ruled the day and the night in harmony, and peace reigned throughout the land. Unicorn, Earth pony, and pegasus all worked together to make incredible advances in science, magic, and the arts. To celebrate this golden age, it was decided to build a capital, the likes of which nopony had ever seen before. Earth ponies quarried and farmed the stones and crystals to make up its soaring towers. Pegasi forged its many skywalks from cloudsteel, stronger than iron and light as air. And a particularly famous unicorn designed the system of enchantments that channeled pegasus lightning and the roaring river to power the city day and night. I believe you’ve heard of him, Twilight - his name was Starswirl the Bearded.”
Seeing Twilight’s face light up at the mention of her hero, Luna grinned. “Yes, this is when I knew him. Though when we first met, he was known as Starswirl the Young, and had yet to grow his first whisker. He still had that hat with the bells, though... I never could convince him how ridiculous it looked. ‘If I am to be mocked for wearing bells,’ he used to say, ‘I shall simply have to become so famously successful that I cannot be mocked, and bring the bells along for the ride.’” She shook her head wistfully, ignoring Twilight’s dropped jaw.
Seeing that her purple friend was temporarily incapable of speech, Rarity stepped in to fill the gap. “But Princess, what happened? I must confess, I’ve often wondered about the way the Hearth’s Warming legend specifically states that neither you nor your sister was present. If you weren’t there, why not? And if you were, why did you let things get so bad?” Suddenly realizing what she was saying, she hastened to add, “Not that I would ever dream of criticizing any decision you or Princess Celestia chose to make, of course!”
Luna came back from her distant memory. “Hm? Oh, yes, of course. Well, you see, the advances of the pre-classical era were so great, they seemed endless. Eventually, a group of unicorns even discovered how to control the Sun for themselves - though they had Celestia’s help in developing the spell, of course. When I was able to show them how to adjust the spell to include the Moon, I began to wonder if it might be possible for Celestia and I to take a... vacation, of sorts. Our rule was already supplemented by many wise, capable ponies, and with our most vital services now somewhat less necessary, it seemed an ideal time. I had grown weary of the constant grind of rule, you see. Celestia felt it less of a burden than I, but I was able to tempt her with the promise of unexplored lands and new knowledge to be gained. I assured her that our little ponies could fend for themselves - hadn’t we taught them well? In the end, she agreed to go.”
The Princess sighed, and lowered her eyes. “Those were some of the happiest times of my life. My sister and I, on the open skies together... We made many friends, fought many battles, loved many loves, mourned many deaths. We were, for a while, simply ponies.
“But all things have to end sometime. Eventually Celestia grew restless, and I, too, was curious to see what the mortal ponies had made of their land in our absence. I confess, I was looking forward to teasing Celestia with her groundless fears when we returned and found civilization had climbed to new heights. A bit embarrassing, in light of what we did find.”
“Which was....?” asked Applejack, after a pause.
“Discord,” replied Luna, simply. Her friends all flinched at hearing the name, Fluttershy going so far as to latch onto Rainbow Dash for protection.
“Yes, Discord,” she continued. “From a distance, we sensed his magic coming from a previously unsettled area of the continent to the west of the land we had known. When we arrived, we found ponies suffering unfathomable torment under his claw. Of course, we quickly sought to put an end to this travesty of governance by attacking Discord head-on. After all, never had we encountered any beings strong enough to do us harm.”
She swept her gaze over the entranced ponies in front of her. “I have never been as frightened as I was that day. Discord outclassed us completely. When we used our most powerful spells against him, he laughed at us and redirected them against the very ponies we sought to protect. Even when we were trying only to escape, he toyed with us for hours. He had known of us, I learned later, and was disappointed at the lackluster showing we made. Only when the full moon rose that night, bringing my powers of illusion and deception to their height, did we manage to break free.”
A silence followed, and was not broken for a long time.
Finally Rarity asked, quietly, “What happened then, Princess?”
Luna visibly shook off her melancholy mood. “This is where the story you all know begins. On our travels, my sister had heard rumors of powerful items of magic in a land far across the western seas. The Elements of Harmony. We retrieved them, returned on a night with a full moon, and froze Discord in stone before he knew we were near. Then we took up our mantles of rule once again, to lead ponies out of the Discordian age and back to some semblance of civilization.
“However, things had changed between my sister and I. Celestia took the results of my ‘little experiment’, as she called it, as concrete proof that mortal ponies could not be permitted to govern themselves. And as time passed, she began to blame me for the destruction of the society we had worked so hard to build. Though it took many, many years, this was the first crack that would eventually widen into the rift between us, the rift that would take on the name of Nightmare.”
“So, what happened to the Citadel?” asked Rainbow Dash. “What makes you think it’s still there after all this time?”
“Although I do not have any firsthand knowledge of the Great Migration or the events surrounding it, I learned as much as I could from what little of history the ponies had managed to save under Discord’s tender affections. Discord is... insidious, as you have all had occasion to see for yourselves. It seems clear that he moved slowly, first destroying the harmony between the three races, then sending the Windigoes to drive them from their homes, and only emerging from the shadows well after the founding of Equestria. According to the ponies I spoke with after his defeat, when the three tribes splintered into separate nations the Citadel refused to join them. Apparently, one day a shimmering magical shield came into being, completely enclosing the city. All three tribes tried to breach it, but they were unsuccessful, and they soon had bigger things to worry about. The Citadel was all but forgotten, known to the ponies I spoke to only as a legend.”
“Princess,” Twilight ventured cautiously, “that’s a fascinating story, but... that was all a long, long time ago. You can’t be sure that the city is still there - you shouldn’t get your hopes up.”
“Of course you’re right, Twilight Sparkle. It is entirely possible we shall find nothing at all. But imagine if we found it right where it had always been, perfectly intact, ponies living there still! The greatest city that ever was! The marble halls of Canterlot, the gleaming chrome of the Manehattan skyline, these are but sad imitations. You, who have never seen it, cannot possibly imagine what it was like.... but try for me now.
“It stretched to the sky, beyond all but the highest clouds. During the day, it shone like silver in the sunlight, and thousands of ponies gathered in the central square to share their wares, sample exotic foods from far away lands, or attend public lectures and discussions held by the most learned practitioners of science and engineering in the known world. And at night....”
Luna laughed, a deep, throaty sound. “The night was a time of delicate fragrance, rich and savory foods, warm sweet air and warm sweet drink. Poets, artists, dreamers, blessed lunatics strove to capture all that was good or ill in life in pen or brush, word or song. The great magicians of a vanished age probed the deep mysteries with magicks both subtle and gross, while lovers lay under the glittering sky, on the soft green grass, between the worlds above and the world below, and worshipped their Mistress of the Night in ever new and inventive ways. If one desired company and noise, there were grand parties and concerts nearly every night. If silence and peace were called for, a well-worn trail up one of the nearby mountains led to a moongarden of surpassing beauty, tended personally by me with the help of my most exalted priestesses, where no two ponies who did not enter together would ever come upon each other save by the deepest desires of both their hearts. The Citadel was a place of magic and music and love. It was a place of life, and no higher compliment can be paid.”
The six mortal ponies stood for a moment, each of them lost in visions of their own personal utopia. Then, almost as one, their minds caught up with an implication that Luna had slipped in casually among her descriptions. Red blossoms bloomed on their cheeks, and they suddenly became fascinated with their hooves. Noticing this, Luna asked, “What is wrong, my friends?”
“P-Princess,” managed Rarity faintly, “when you say ‘worshipped their Mistress of the Night’... what exactly do you mean?”
Now it was Luna’s turn to look embarrassed, though only slightly. “Ah. Yes. Well. Celestia doesn’t like to spread it around these days, but just as she is the patron to such things as commerce, science, and industry as well as the Ruler of the Day, in addition to the Moon I am the patron of the arts, of romance, and of... fertility. Truthfully, I think she is making mountains of molehills, but Celestia insists that the sensibilities of modern ponies would be offended were this to become common knowledge.”
This pronouncement was followed by several stammered assertions that of course not, they were perfectly fine with that, wasn’t that interesting, hehehe. Twilight had recovered enough presence of mind to ask, “So that’s what you meant back at the castle when you said your return would lead to an increase in the birth rate? Because of your... ancillary effects, as it were?”
“Correct,” the Princess confirmed. “Well, that is what I wanted to discuss with you this morning. My plan is that we will head for the Citadel and see what we shall see. If there are ponies there, we will try to make contact with their leaders and work out an equitable arrangement. If there are not, well... there were good reasons for locating it where we did, reasons which should be no less valid today. We will claim the city as the capital of our new land and raise a call for settlers in Equestria. Now, I think we should be on our way. We have many miles to cover - the Citadel is located only a few miles upriver from the eastern coast. Are there any questions? No? Well then, onward, explorers!” The Night Princess struck a heroic pose, head held high, one foreleg thrust ahead dramatically. The group of slightly nonplussed ponies around her obeyed the exaggerated instruction and began walking through the grasslands in an easterly direction.
---
Twilight fell in beside Luna, who was giggling quietly to herself.
“If you don’t mind my saying, Princess, you seem... a bit different this morning,” said Twilight delicately.
“I am happy, Twilight Sparkle,” Luna replied, her beatific smile proving the truth of her words. “And I should be bothered by the fact that it is apparently so rare as to cause you alarm, but I cannot be, because... I am happy. For the first time in a long time, I feel as though I am mistress of my own fate. It is a good feeling.”
“Aww, good for you, Luna!” cheered Pinkie Pie. “You finally get out of your big sister’s shadow, and get to bathe in the sunshine!” She paused at this, putting a hoof to her chin while somehow continuing to walk, perfectly smoothly, on three legs. “Or... well, your big sister’s shadow is the sunshine. So you get to bathe in the... moonshine? But that’s not for bathing, that’s for drinking! So....” She clocked herself on the side of the head, still not breaking stride. “Nevermind! I guess what I’m trying to say is...” A sourceless guitar intro with a truly impressive drumbeat swelled as the pink pony began bouncing to the beat.
You can choose a ready guide, Princess Celestia’s voice
But if you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice!
You can believe her phantom fears and hold ponykind still
We will choose a path that’s clear...
We will choose free will!
Luna and Twilight watched, stunned and amused respectively, as Rainbow, Rarity, Fluttershy and Applejack joined Pinkie in an unrehearsed yet somehow perfectly choreographed dance number. The band, having played a remarkably catchy bridge, reached a crescendo and then faded away. After the final musical cue, the five musically-afflicted ponies continued to trot along as though nothing out of the ordinary happened.
Luna sat down, hard, her mouth hanging open in astonishment. Her friends, with the exception of Twilight, failed to notice and continued on their way. Twilight looked at the Princess, puzzled. “Princess, are you all right? It’s just Pinkie Pie... you’ve seen her do this before.”
Night’s Mistress shook her head to clear it, then boomed out “STOP AT ONCE!” The surprised ponies galloped back in a flash, anxious to hear what was bothering their alicorn friend.
“Princess...?” asked Twilight again. “Is something wrong?”
“Yes, Twilight Sparkle. I believe something may be very wrong.” She turned to Pinkie Pie, her horn glowing. A ring of blue magic appeared above the pink pony’s head, rotating slowly. Twilight squinted at the spell, her thirst for knowledge demanding the investigation. It appeared to be a divination spell of some sort, but it seemed somehow... incomplete. The structure of the spell was somehow twisted around something that wasn’t actually there. The ring descended until it touched the ground, where it melted into mist before disappearing. Pinkie giggled and shivered as it passed.
Luna’s eyes grew wide with horror. Immediately she bowed low to the ground in front of the pink party pony.
It was a curious bow, thought Twilight. With her belly to the ground, it clearly indicated subservience, but it was not one of the several hundred types she was familiar with from her work with the Court. Luna’s head was bowed so low that her horn touched the ground in front of her. Her wings were spread to either side, hanging so as to lightly brush the dirt. Finally, her forehooves were extended on either side of the bowed head, hooves slightly askew but pointing in the general direction of Pinkie Pie.
“Princess, what is going on?” asked Twilight desperately.
“Pinkie Pie,” asked Luna, not moving from her unnatural position on the ground, her muzzle scraping in the dirt as she talked, “did you experience any unexplained pain before or immediately after your abduction by the Diamond Dogs?”
“Um... yeah,” Pinkie replied slowly, clearly unsure what to do about a Princess bowing to her. “Dashie started laughing, and the clouds started clearing, and I thought you were playing a funny joke on her, but then I started to.... hurt, and I knew it couldn’t be you because you’d never do anything to hurt us, so it must have been those meany Diamond Dogs.”
Luna winced as though Pinkie Pie’s words were daggers entering her flesh. “Pinkie... Miss Pie... I must confess that it was, in fact, I that caused you such pain.” The gasps of the other six caused her to wince again, and she hurried to explain. “It was an accident, I assure you. I would never do such a thing deliberately. However, it was a result of my carelessness, and I accept full responsibility. You may claim whatever justice you deem meet - I shall accept your judgement.” She held her position on the ground, waiting for Pinkie’s response. Twilight couldn’t help but feel she was missing something important about the pose Luna had struck, but she couldn’t put her hoof on it.
Pinkie, still looking embarrassed at having the Goddess of the Moon bowing at her feet, said, “Of course I forgive you, Luna! As long as it was an accident, and you promise to never ever do it again, it’s not even worth thinking about.”
Luna hesitated. “You are sure? You do not seek retribution? I know, firsthand, that the experience was not pleasant for you.”
Pinkie reached out and practically pulled the larger alicorn to her feet. “Don’t sweat it, sister! But just so we’re clear... never again.” She gave the Princess a serious stare for a moment, then, apparently assured that they were, in fact, clear, resumed her cheerful bouncing towards the sunrise. Her friends really had no choice but to follow.
---
Luna quickly took a place at the head of their little column, gently steering them more to the north. Twilight hurried to keep up, then walked next to the Princess in uncomfortable silence, needing to ask a question but fearing the response it would bring. At last, Luna sighed and said, “Go ahead and ask, Twilight Sparkle. I know you will not rest until your curiosity is sated, and I do not mind. Truly. So ask me what you must, that we may all continue with our lives.”
“I’m sorry, Princess, I really didn’t want to bother you, but...” she trailed off as Luna gave her a wry smile, not very different from her sister’s favorite expression (though it would take a braver pony than Twilight Sparkle to say so). “Right. Sorry. Again. What I want to know is... how did you end up accidentally hurting Pinkie Pie? Why did her little song, like she’s sung a thousand times before, tip you off? What exactly was that on top of the mountain the other day? Why didn’t Celestia teach me these things you apparently know? How -”
“Enough, enough!” laughed Luna as she waved away the onslaught of questions. “Please, Twilight Sparkle, allow me the breath to answer you! Ah...” she sighed, shaking her head ruefully, “only you could cheer me up by badgering me relentlessly with questions about the very thing which saddens me. Thank you, my friend.”
“Um... you’re welcome, Princess,” replied Twilight, clearly confused about what was so funny, but unwilling to be diverted. “So... Pinkie?”
“Yes, of course,” returned the Lady of the Night. “Tell me, Twilight Sparkle, do you know the Laws of Wizardry?”
“Of course!”, said the former Archmage, a little offended. “That’s a basic tenant of magical studies! You’d be hard-pressed to find a unicorn old enough to live on her own that didn’t know the Laws. I had a standard lecture for it back when I was teaching at the Academy.”
“I believe I would like to hear that,” smiled Luna. “Please, Professor Sparkle, educate me. I eagerly await your instruction.”
“You really want the whole lecture?” asked Twilight dubiously. At the other’s nod, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath before beginning. “The Three Laws of Wizardry are the foundation of magical instruction. They are not laws in either of the traditional senses - breaking them will not result in an arrest by the Guard, nor are they mathematical constructs like the Laws of Gravitation. They are, however, a set of rules to be followed which all Equestrian mages, be they the newest student or fully-vested members of the Arcanum, adhere to. As the Laws are incomprehensibly ancient, perhaps as old as the Princesses themselves, their exact wording is lost to time, but I will endeavour to convey their spirit to you now.
“The first Law, rendered in some ancient texts as ‘memento mori’ - ‘remember you must die’ - is not, in fact, about mortality at all. It is instead an admonition that no matter your power, no matter your wisdom, some things will always be beyond you. Though some choose to find this depressing, I prefer to take it as a hopeful sign that there will always be more to learn and new things to discover. Forgetting this law has led to some of the greatest tragedies in Equestrian history, including the infighting which brought about decline of the ancient Roaman tribes, the fall of the Crystal Empire at the hands of King Sombra, and the War Between the Sisters.
“The second Law, sometimes called the Law of Unintended Consequences, is often written in modern texts as ‘Nothing is ever quite as simple as you expect, or quite as complicated as you believe’. This is a caution to always think before you act, because any action is likely to have consequences other than the desired effect. As an example, suppose the unicorns of Canterlot asked the pegasi of the weather patrol never to allow it to rain, so they could avoid getting their manes wet. While it would certainly have that effect, crops would also fail, leading to widespread starvation. This is only a trite example, but it serves to illustrate the point. Only by acting from full knowledge, and accepting responsibility for all consequences of her actions, can a wizard carry her intentions into reality.
“One common rendering of the third and final Law is, ‘Take what you want, and pay for it’. It reminds us that all magic comes at a price to the user, with more power requiring a steeper payment. This Law applies to more than just magic and is well known in other contexts too - the Earth ponies of Appleoosan frontier put it as “There ain’t no such thing as a free lunch”, while the Canterlot nobility use the somewhat florid ‘A hat for a cat, or a cat for a hat, but nothing for nothing’. The Third Law is especially relevant to new students, who have an alarming tendency to end up in the castle infirmary after attempting magic beyond their skill, so I want you all to keep it in mind. Is that clear?”
“Quite clear, Professor, thank you,” came Luna’s melodious voice. Twilight opened her eyes, a bit surprised to find an open plain and not the inside of a classroom. Luna was smiling gently at her, amused but not mocking. “That was very well put,” she complimented. “Now, do you see where my mistake lay? I violated the Second Law - unintentionally, which is of course the entire point - by failing to consider what Pinkie Pie is.”
“What she is? What do you mean, Princess? She’s a pony just like the rest of us.” Her confusion scrunched up Twilight’s face in a manner Luna privately found adorable.
“This will take some explaining, I am afraid. You know, of course, of the types of magic inherent in the three tribes, and the sources of each. Unicorns use the magic of their minds to alter the physical world to match their desires. Pegasi use their kinship with the sky to persuade it to act in their best interests. And Earth ponies use the magic of the world around them to coax it into its ideal shape, imbuing the earth with life and vitality.” Twilight nodded, confusion still evident. “Well, these are not the only kinds of magic in the world. Perhaps my sister has taught you something of the magic of the sun, a bright and shining power to reveal truth and destroy evil?” The purple unicorn nodded again, a glimmer of understanding beginning to dawn on her face. “There are other magics, too. The one we must be concerned with here is known, by my sister and myself at least, as ‘wild’ magic. It is difficult to tame, being unpredictable by nature, but very powerful. As it readily lends such power to the more usual sort of spell, it was often used in the pre-classical era as a source of energy for any large working a magician might attempt.
“Upon my return from exile, I found that the wild magic of Equestria has been largely diverted into certain structured channels, designed by Celestia to promote harmony throughout the land. One of the more obvious manifestations of these spells is the tendency of ponies to break spontaneously into song, often accompanied by magical musical backing. So although, as you said, I have seen Pinkie Pie lead a choreographed song and dance before, she should not have been able to do so once outside the borders of Equestria.
“However, there is something very strange about Pinkamena Diane Pie. She is a wellspring of wild magic. She does not need to interact with the background magic of Equestria - she provides the magic on her own. Quite honestly, I have been kicking myself for not discovering it sooner - her myriad unique abilities certainly provided plenty of hints.”
Twilight frowned, trying to take in everything she’d heard. “So the reason Pinkie Pie is so... well, Pinkie Pie is because she’s this... power source? I still don’t see how that caused you to hurt her.”
“When I sought to clear the clouds from the weather conduit, I required a major weave of weather magic to do so. Even with the assistance of the mountain, it would have been very difficult for me to draw forth the required power. So, almost reflexively, I did as I have done countless times before and reached out for sources of power to augment my own.”
Twilight’s eyes widened in understanding. “And the first thing you found -”
“Was Pinkie Pie,” Luna confirmed. “I drew so heavily from her - without realizing it, I stress again - that she... well, have you ever expended your entire magical reserve, all at once? It is... not pleasant.”
Twilight shivered. “No, it really isn’t. So Rainbow Dash laughed because of the weather magic saturating the air, making her senses go haywire, and Pinkie Pie got hurt because you were using her as a big magic battery whose charge got too low?”
“Succinctly, if inelegantly put, yes.”
Twilight bit her lower lip. They had come to the most important question she had for Luna, and she was nervous the Princess would say no. Eventually she managed to ask, “Princess... would you teach me about this wild magic? And all the other kinds, too?”
Luna’s smile shone brightly in her dark face like the stars in her mane. “Of course, Twilight Sparkle. I would be honored.” Laughing slightly at Twilight’s obvious relief, she continued, “Come and see me tonight, after we make camp. For now, I must try to figure out where we are and how to get where we are going. All right?”
“Of course, Princess. Until tonight, then.” Twilight managed the best approximation of a proper bow she could without stopping, then dropped back to join the other Elements.
---
As the day wore on, Twilight found her gaze being drawn again and again to the Princess of the Night. Well, why shouldn’t she be on my mind? she asked herself the first few times she noticed where her eyes were falling. She’s leading us off into uncharted lands, she just casually introduced me to entire new schools of magic, and tonight she’ll be teaching me things possibly nopony but the Princesses know! It would be more odd if I wasn’t thinking about her! Yet as she found herself staring over and over at the dusky mare, a blush rising slightly on her cheeks each time, there came a point where she could no longer deny the distant voice echoing in the back of her mind - a voice that repeated, they worshipped their Mistress of the Night in new and inventive ways.
“She really is beautiful, isn’t she...” she murmured to herself.
“Indeed she is...” came an equally distant murmur from beside her.
Startled, Twilight turned to see Rarity, staring upwards into space with a faraway look on her face. “What?”
“Hmm? Oh, Twilight!” She paused, letting the last few moments catch up with her. “Beautiful? Who?” Catching Twilight’s guilty glance, she gasped, then grinned. “The Princess? Why yes, I suppose she is at that. Something on your mind, Twilight daaaaarling?”
“W-well...” she stuttered, “it’s just... you heard what she said this morning. About her... other role.” Her cheeks could have been used to crisp hayfries.
“A bit curious, are we? Wondering what it would be like to... show your devotion to the lovely Lady Luna? I must say, I’m rather surprised - I always thought you preferred someone with a... sunnier disposition, hmm?” Rarity lowered her voice conspiratorially and waggled her eyebrows suggestively in the direction of her purple friend.
“Oh for... No! For the last time, I do not see, and have never seen, Princess Celestia that way! Honestly!” She glared at Rarity, who made soothing gestures with her hooves that did nothing to erase the glint in her eye. Huffing, Twilight went on. “It’s just... I never really thought the Princesses did... that. I mean, the popular presentation of Celestia is as a virginal goddess, so I just assumed - What?” she broke off, noticing Rarity’s boggled expression.
“Well, darling, surely you can’t have lived in Canterlot as long as you have without hearing the rumors about the Princess’ private life? I mean, if only one in ten were true, she’d certainly be anything but virginal - not that I’d judge, you understand!”
“Rarity... half those rumors were about me. I knew those weren’t true - why would I believe any of the others?”
“I suppose that makes sense, but I have it from a very reliable source that - Oh very well,” she sighed, taking note of Twilight’s unamused stare, “no more gossip.” Her face became more serious and she leaned closer to Twilight. “Ah, darling, you aren’t... I mean to say, are you - not that there’s anything wrong if you are, of course, but I was just wondering...”
“Am I a virgin?” Twilight finished for her resignedly.
“Well... yes.”
“Not that it’s anyone’s business but mine, but no, I’m not. I may not be the most outgoing pony in the world, but I literally have a Ph.D in Friendship, and I’m a scientist. Is it so mind-boggling that I might decide to experiment a bit?” She seemed to realize how defensive she was being and forced a smile for her friend. “Sorry, Rarity. I don’t mean to snap at you, really. It’s just that I’ve heard the same question in exactly the same cautious, only-wanting-to-help tone way too many times. From friends, from co-workers, from my mother - on six different occasions - even Princess Celestia, and you can be sure THAT was a conversation for the Awkward Record Books. I’m.... a little touchy on the subject.”
“Of course, darling, you’re right. It’s none of my business and I’m ashamed to have mentioned it.” There was a brief pause, then, “... So who was it?”
“Rarity!” Twilight cried, scandalized. “I’m not going to tell you that!”
“All right, all right, I was just curious,” the other pony soothed. They walked together in silence for a time.
“Cheerilee,” Twilight finally muttered.
“Re~eally...” mused Rarity. “Who would have thought it? I had always assumed that she favored stallions. Though in hindsight, I suppose it should have been obvious after that little incident with Macintosh. Certainly most mares - and quite a few stallions, for that matter - would not require a love potion to want to make him their ‘special somepony’.”
Rarity’s face made it clear that she had more to say, but she held her tongue. Finally Twilight groaned and said “Spit it out, already.”
“... The schoolteacher?” she asked, a cautious edge to her voice.
“Yes? What about her?”
“Just tell me she didn’t call you her ‘faithful student’.”
Twilight’s brief but very loud snarl drew every eye. Blushing like the sun, she waved that she was all right, then furiously whispered, “Dammit, Rarity! Do you have any idea how long I worried about that before I decided to get involved with her? Not that I was acting out some bizzare schoolfilly fetish, but that she’d think I was? Not to mention everyone else in town! I almost didn’t go through with it, and now, to have one of my best friends bring it up after all this time...!”
Twilight’s rage faltered as it met Rarity’s sincere concern. “Are you sure that’s not what you’re doing now, Twilight?”
“What? I don’t understand. What do you mean?”
“With Princess Luna, of course.” When Twilight continued to look confused, she elaborated. “You’re clearly attracted to her, but if Cheerilee can be said to represent Princess Celestia through the teacher connection, how much more so Princess Luna? I wouldn’t want to see you close yourself off to the idea just because you were afraid of how other ponies would see it.”
The purple unicorn’s eyes nearly popped out of her head. “You think the reason I’d be hesitant about falling for an immortal alicorn that can throw heavenly bodies around is because she’s too much like her sister? There are hundreds, no, thousands of reasons why that would be a terrible idea! And the top of the list is that there’s no way she’d even entertain the notion, so forget about it!”
“Don’t sell yourself short, darling,” Rarity countered. “I can’t be certain of course, but I’m fairly confident you’ve already caught dear Luna’s eye.”
Twilight groaned and massaged her head with a hoof for a moment. “Assuming for the moment that I were interested - which I’m not admitting - Rarity... she’s supposedly as old as time itself, and apparently a literal sex goddess to boot. What would she want with someone like me? Or with any one pony, for that matter?”
“A thousand years is a long time to be alone, Twilight,” Rarity replied solemnly. “Eternal goddesses of darkness need love too. Everypony needs love.”
They trotted along, each thinking thoughts they weren’t inclined to share. Eventually, Rarity shook herself gently, tossing her mane back over her shoulder, and said, “Well! Lovely as this little chat has been, I see Rainbow Dash has just gotten stuck in a rather large cloud, and it would be simply criminal if she believed she’d gotten away without anypony noticing. Ta ta, darling! And try to keep an open mind - that’s all I ask.”
As her friend skipped away, Twilight, too, shook off her mood. Rarity was being ridiculous, anyway. She’d certainly never thought about the Princess in that light before. Sure, Luna’s earlier revelation might have stirred up a few... interesting images, but they were friends, and that was how Twilight liked it. Smiling, she put the notion aside and simply basked in the warm rays of the sun on a fine day for travelling.
And if she glanced forward every once in awhile to spot the Princess of the Night, tall and stately, head held high, flowing mane so dark it seemed as though it would drink the light right out of the day except for the brilliant points of light that were her own personal stars, forging ahead fearlessly into the uncharted wilderness.... well, wouldn’t anypony?
---
The shuffling sound of a low-slung belly sliding over fallen leaves filled the otherwise silent forest. A tattered wing hung at an awkward angle from its left side, ugly scarring the evidence of an ancient and terrible injury. No effort was made to conceal its movements as it plodded through the trees. There was nothing in the forest that it need fear.
The scent it followed, light and airy, grew stronger by the hour, as the unexpected (but oh so welcome) intruder pushed brazenly into its domain. Its gaping maw hung open, caustic drool dripping down to leave tiny scorched holes in the undergrowth, as it thought of the meal to come.
Suddenly its snout was filled with a different scent, smokey and harsh. It knew this smell too, and both hated and feared it. It turned to slink away, but a blinding flash of light and a clap of thunder that shook yet more leaves from the trees told it that it had no chance. Cautiously, it turned back to face the new arrival, braced to meet the expected attack.
“You know who walks this land once more.” It was not a question.
“Yessssss....” the creature hissed, warier still to find that no blow was forthcoming.
“You hunt her.”
“Yessssss!” it hissed again, more spit flying from its jaws.
“It is right and good that you should do so. But you must wait until the time is right. You will strike at a place of my choosing, and none other. You shall be a tool, moving at my will. My weapon.”
Snarling, it lept for the newcomer, jaws lunging for the throat. A word was spoken, and it was frozen in place several feet above the ground, unable to move. It heaved, powerful muscles flexing, to no result - it remained stuck fast. Its heated glare, filled with anger and fear, fixed on the other. “How!” it grated. “How can you do this?”
“That which is lost may yet be found.” The floating creature’s yellow eyes widened. “Will you be guided by me in this?”
It growled and strained, but could not free itself from its invisible bonds. Finally it spat, “Yesss.”
“Very wise. And in return...” The word was spoken again, and the creature’s ruined wing was whole and strong again. There was no light, no shadow, no rush of wind - it was simply tucked close against its side, as though it had always been so, as though it hadn’t been little more than ragged bits of sinew holding together twisted bones but a moment before.
The creature, finding itself on the ground once more, bowed as low as its hulking shape would allow. “Asss you command...” it hissed. Then, “... Misssstressss...”
---
As the sunset approached, Celestia’s fiery charge burning balefully on the horizon, the travelling ponies stopped to set up camp on the sparse fringes of a maple wood. Luna excused herself to raise the moon while the others went about the necessary tasks - Pinkie Pie and Twilight gathering firewood, Applejack and Fluttershy starting a fire, and Rarity and Rainbow Dash clearing comfortable patches of ground for sleeping. Luna returned just as supper was prepared, and soon their little campsite rang with cheerful voices as they relaxed and enjoyed each others’ company after a long day of walking. Rarity’s story of Dash’s earlier crash was well-received, much to the grumbling embarrassment of the pegasus in question. Applejack and Pinkie Pie competed to see who could tell the bawdiest joke, until Luna topped them both with a tale that brought gales of laughter, turned every ear red, and set more than one pair of hind legs to furtive shifting. Even Fluttershy seemed to be having a good time, smiling and leaning forward almost far enough that both of her eyes were completely visible.
Eventually, their merriment wound to a close, and one by one ponies traipsed off to sleep, until only Luna and Twilight were left around the fire. They sat for a time, gazing into the flames, before Luna spoke.
“If I teach you,” she began, still staring into the fire’s heart, while the purple unicorn watched her through the blaze, “you will learn many things. Ancient and powerful magic, yes, but also things about me. My few, brief triumphs, and my too, too many failures.” She drew a deep breath, then released it slowly, tendrils of steam rising in the cool night air. “In olden days, before I would reveal such secrets as I now propose to tell, I would have bound your fate to mine with honeyed words and honeyed wines. I would have woven jasmine in your mane, and whispered spells to you by moonlight that would rob you of your breath. I would have laid you down in the sweet grasses and given you cause to love only me until the passing of an Age. I would have taken your name from your own lips, that I might know that you were mine in flesh and blood and bone. Only then would I have summoned forth the knowledge that you seek.”
Twilight swallowed. The heat on her face had very little to do with the fire anymore. She wasn't sure she'd understood all of that, but she found herself hoping things hadn't changed too much since the “olden days”.
“I will not do this,” the Princess of the Night continued, not noticing the brief flash of something like disappointment in her companion’s eyes. “Such bonds were ever a means to guard against betrayal, nothing more. The moment that we met, you saw me at my worst. Since then you have seen my many moods and fits, and never once have you used them to bring me to harm. You have earned my trust, more so than any other. There is no secret of mine I would begrudge you now. And as for magic - you have used your power far more wisely than I have used mine.” She straightened, her eyes at last coming up to meet Twilight’s across the fire. “But mark me well. If I am to teach you, it will not be halfway. I will teach you in the only way I know. it will be dangerous. It will be terrifying. It will be glorious. Now I ask you, for the first and final time - will you become my student, learn the things I have teach, and use them always with wisdom and honor in the days to come?”
Twilight Sparkle had been asked a question like this twice before. Once, as a young filly, still too young to really understand the commitment she was making, when she had become Princess Celestia’s personal student. And again, six years ago, in the heady fullness of her power, when she had been charged by both Princesses with her new duties as Archmage of Canterlot. She had not hesitated either time - though she had known that she was unprepared, she had trusted in herself to rise to the occasion. She did not hesitate now.
“Now I answer you, for the last time and the first, for your past and for my future - I will become your student, learn the things you know, and use what I possess of wisdom to honor you always.”
Luna rose and began walking off into the woods. “Then follow.”
---
Cliff hung, gasping, from the side of the cliff. Long, red scratches and a broken-off shaft through his left hind leg, as well as a pink-tinged bonfire still in the process of falling slowly to the ground behind him, bore testament to his epic confrontation with the dastardly Baroness Balloon. He was now nearly level with Canterlot Castle, needing only four more feet to reach the second ledge, but he was nearing the end of his strength. His mind was so dull from fatigue that he had been hanging here for... how long had it been? Hours? Days? Months maybe? He felt his Earth pony magic bleeding away, but he was too tired to care.
He took hold of himself firmly. Just four more steps, he told himself. Then I can rest. He brought his right forehoof upwards, refastening it to the cliff and pulling the rest of his body after it. One. His left forehoof followed, bringing him half the remaining distance. Two. The right forehoof moved again, pressing into a slightly lighter patch of cliffside. Thr-! The patch of cliff fell away. Frantically, Cliff tried to catch himself with his rear hooves, remembering only too late the grievous wound he’d suffered. His flinch when he tried to put pressure on it caused all of his magic to short out, and he closed his eyes, resigned to a long fall with a short stop at the end.
He was utterly surprised, therefore, to feel a wrenching sensation as he was caught under his shoulders and flown up to the safety of the ledge. The thud! of his arrival was mixed with an exasperated, “Honestly!” from his unexpected savior.
He looked up. It was a pegasus mare with a rich, velvet coat and tastefully matching mane. She wore the traditional livery of a member of the Palace’s mid-level staff, and was clearly very strong, her legs thicker than his despite his Earth pony blood. In addition, her wings were somewhat larger than seemed necessary, even on her frame.
Cliff knew her very well, indeed.
“Really, Cliff!” sniffed Coat Hanger, who ruled the closets of the Palace with a carefully manicured iron hoof. “I know it’s your cutie mark, and your destiny, and yadda yadda yadda, but must you insist on climbing these ridiculous mountains all the time?”
“Great to see you too, Sis,” Cliff Hanger muttered as he rose shakily to his feet and brushed himself off.
“Well I should say so, after I just saved your life!” snapped Coat, her eyes flashing and her oversized wings flaring out challengingly.
“You’re right. I’m sorry,” Cliff replied contritely.
“Good,” said Coat, grinning evilly, “because I need your help. Princess Luna left on a vacation or something, and with half the staff busy trying to cheer Princess Celestia up with cakes or tea or what have you, we’re shortstaffed.” She picked him up, ignoring his yelps of protest (and the crossbow shaft still lodged in his leg), and began carrying him towards the looming Palace. “Let’s get you into a proper uniform, and put you to work shampooing carpets!”
“Wait! Coat! I’m kind of in the middle of something! Ow! Careful! Waaaaaaaaaiiiiiiitttt....!” Cliff’s wails trailed away as he was dragged bodily from his mission by his own sister, leaving the cliffside peaceful and quiet for the first time in days.
END CHAPTER FOUR
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The chapter ends with Cliff Hanger.
Good one, mister.
1524190
AS CAPTIAN OF THE ROYAL I COMMAND YOU MAKE MOAR CHAPTRS DON'T MAKE ME TAKE YOU XBOX ONE AWAY LUNA! IT COST 1.78 BILLION BIT'S!
2651425It's this guy's schtick
The Citidel makes me think of Atlantis in some ways. I wonder if finding her old home was always Luna's real objective for this. I also wonder if she's still driving for the goal of teaching ponies to rule themselves (The New Lunar Republic vs. the Solar Empire, in terms of philosophy). Luna's memories of the past times and the... in many ways more romantic world of the Pre-Classical Epoch were fascinating. Also fascinating was her comments about Pinkie. As always, the ever-fun Miss Pie is a conundrum and an enigma. Possibly she may also be a proto-Alicorn.
Now... A female being of immense power with yellow eyes? Can there be more than one Draconequus in the world?
Whew. Well, it's only been... more than half a year... that's not so bad, right guys?
...guys...?
2651425 I'm glad you liked it
2651731 Jesus, that's a terrible exchange rate! Let's hope Equestria gets that hyperinflation under control soon, we all know what happens when a powerful country full of hardworking beings experiences hyperinflation and then finds a charismatic leader...
2651763 Well, this story's, anyway. Though of course, this is the only story I've published so far, so I guess it's fair to say. I'll go ahead and say I don't plan to use the conceit outside this story, though.
2651793 I try never to correct "misinterpretations" in the comments because they should be fixed in the text, but can you point out where you got the impression that the yellow eyes and female being were the same? Cause I didn't intend to give a gender to the yellow-eyed one or any description (other than the gender) to the female one. Thanks!
2651889 Always hard to respond to comments like this one - legitimate disagreements about what is or isn't in character. So tempting to start rationalizing or defending oneself (not that you were attacking or anything). All I can say is, it's too bad you disagree with the characterization, and I'm glad that you're sticking with me despite
Also, Grrratch... do you lurg rach-arg?
2652391
This is where it happens. Depending on how you read it, either the creature being addressed has yellow eyes or the creature speaking has yellow eyes.
2652405 I see what you mean... I'll be sure to edit that as soon as I can, to make it less ambiguous. Thanks!
Thank the Goddess.... It's ALIVE!!!!!!
2652391
Very good and well worth the wait.
Now Twilight just needs to convince Luna that hours long cuddling is necessary preparation for some of the more advanced magics ...
2652497 Ehhh hehehehe... yeah. I could get all defensive and explainy, but you don't care, and it wouldn't change anything. All I can say is I hope it won't take so long for the next one!
2652544 I won't say yes, and I won't say no, but it's certainly been done before (both links NSFW)
2653415
I wonder what it says about me that Both of them are already on my favorites list ...
oh and Archmage is one of the best stories on the site ...
I squee out loud when it updates
2653470 Oh they're on mine too, how do you think I grabbed the links so fast? I won't comment on relative quality vs. other stories, but I also quite enjoy Archmage
SO! it's been a while. glad to see a new chapter. And now that this one is out, I'm like 95% sure its a Twiluna, the best ship. So I'll probably throw it into that group shortly. I've also sighted what I believe might be a wild RariDash on the horizon, and given that I haven't actually read any of those, I'll be looking forward to it. Still not sure what's up between Pinkie and Dash though.
As for the chapter itself, not a whole ton actually happened, though as I mentioned above, some shipping pairs have been set up, which is nice so the lack to actions can be forgiven. AND some exposition has been dropped regarding Pinkie, their destination and the antagonist. Each of these things was nice. Wasn't expecting Pinkie to be like a magical battery, so that was interesting. I'm still not too sure the about their plan regarding the destination, but it is nice to have a more set location to search for, beyond "ancient ruins" It might also bear some questions like "how exactly does Luna intend to found a new nation where an old one might still be.../what will she do if they're already there? Try to rule them?" And as for the antagonist, its really too early to tell. I do suppose this means Luna has something it wants, but I'm not too sure how she thinks the dragon (I assume its a dragon) will get it from Luna. Either way, big antagonists for big players.
And that Third Law of Wizardry? Total Robert Jordan quote. Very slick.
So yeah! Pretty stoked this seems to be going Twiluna.
probably my favorite part.
2655124 I have to agree, that seduction and then jerking it away was like a physical blow. Very well done!
2655124 Oh, Poco - can I call you Poco? Your comments really make my day, yknow that?
I still won't comment on what the ships are. Though you are certainly right about what is the best ship. And I'm very surprised you've never read a RariDash ship! It was pretty popular there for awhile to ship Rainbow Dash with literally anything, after all.
There was quite a big talk-talk this chapter, 'tis true. Last chapter had a lot of action (at least, I felt like it did
) and now we've got to set some things up. Be careful about assuming things... you know what it does to yourself, and to I also 
.
Ehehehe... I steal. A lot. It's a problem. One of the best things about fanfiction is that since the setting and characters are already stolen, I can steal quotes with total impunity! Actually all the laws were stolen from various things, but I figured they're sufficiently emergent properties of existence that it's not too shocking ponies would come up with pretty similar expressions of them. And you can just see Rarity putting a little tiny hat on Opalescence, can't you?
Luna is Best Pony Princess! Cadance and Twi can suck it
2655600 I'm glad you and Poco both liked this part. I rewrote it more than any other, and I'm relieved it seems to have come off how I wanted it to.
2655587 I happen to think that law is impractical as well as unethical, and therefore not something our dear Princesses would impose on their subjects (when I'm writing them, at least).
STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM
you have stolen my avatar!
t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSUBqqpYZxQRIMpvyOAm56w7Yc0zPMIoN0NUTzhP_sqC9g2406FMeziqWf-
2655761 "Registered 3rd March, 2013"! Your account isn't even as old as this story!
J'ACCUSE!
1.bp.blogspot.com/-OUeOOJHKNgI/TxtZ_m8RneI/AAAAAAAAb6o/eP1k5vZPPG4/s320/115981+-+applejack+artist+karzahnii+pinkie_pie+pinkie_promise.png
That whole 'super seductive goddess of sex' monologue that Luna gave to Twilight was some incredibly sexy writing, in that it is really evocative and says a hell of a lot about who she is (or was). It's the sort of thing you'd associate with a fertility goddess.
2656873
images.wikia.com/mlpfanart/images/e/e7/Luna_clapping.gif
This pleases Luna! Ahh, such a relief after fussing with it for *mumble mumble* days...
I luckily happened to come by this on one of my random trips to the front page.
Definitely want to see more of this! Like, fave, and follow from me!
2659248 Thank you! I'm glad you're enjoying it
2655790
Uh.........
iambrony.jsmart.web.id/mlp/gif/238288__UNOPT__safe_animated_image-macro_spoiler-s03e12_50f13860a4c72d4916000f78_51167e6aa4c72dce9e00072f_pot_abandon-thread.gif.gif
2660883 You are correct - this breaks with canon as of the end of season 2. (Which is just as well, since as hard as I had to try to make the Hearth's Warming Eve storyline mesh with previous canon, it is flatly impossible to reconcile Apple Family Reunion without Applejack being like four hundred years old.)
I'd prefer not to give a number of years. If it starts to matter, it should come out in the fic, not in the comments. Just stick with "a long time", being careful not to fall over into "a very very long time"
2663419
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw277_tastes_like_victory.jpg
2665056
I'll be BACK..........
MWAUHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
iambrony.steeph.tp-radio.de/mlp/gif/877__safe_fluttershy_animated_evil.gif
*evillygagsonafly*
I must say I began this story really enjoying the first two chapters was lukewarm to the third and strongly disliked the fourth. Your writing is good, but I dislike virtually all of the characterizations; rarity as super worrier, Dash as a wimp, and Twilight being with Luna or Cheerilee.
Also if this citadel had been built before the princess's vacation, and when they came back from it finding the pony nations in a different country, under Discord, wouldn't going back and looking at the old country/citadel be one of the first things you'd want to do after defeating Discord? Could you really have a legend like that and no one thought to look for it in over a thousand years?
Plus this Cliff Hanger story is a bit weird, and his sister seems rather nuts. Hope that goes somewhere soon.
So, Poco kept bugging me and bugging me to read this. It sat in my favorites for a long time, and the lack of updates was probably the only thing that kept me from reading it. So, now that I have, time for a little exposition of my thoughts.
The premise itself is one that is most unique. Given the story's age as well, it's apparently that this is definitely 'new territory' for a story premise. Everyone has achieved their goals and dreams to some degree, and has found out that the sweet success they had been chasing was actually quite... sour. I do like that you didn't change Pinkie one bit, and I'd comment on Fluttershy, but it sounds like she has further devolved into her shy/put-down outlook on life. Something that a trek to a new land might remedy, perhaps?
Celestia's utter blindness to understand change. This was well handled. We have, after all, a monarch who ruled by herself for 1000 years. Change was NOT her friend. One might even consider it an enemy of hers of sorts. As such, she was against Luna leaving, yet at the same time was completely blind and ignorant as to they why of Luna's reasoning. Basically, she's become a close minded shut in, so to speak. Not in the literal term, but in a proverbial sense. Everything has a place, and everything will fit into its place.
The deliberation of 'should I stay or should I go?' *Cue the Music!* Anyways, it was a nice manner to bring all of them together and fill us in on what they had been doing further. Not only that, but it showed us how their dreams hadn't really worked out like they thought it would. Twilight's minor (well, perhaps major) internal struggle of which sister needed her more. It wasn't fully explained, but it was easily inferred until she came out later and outright told Celestia.
Which leads into Twilight talking to Celestia. Again, Celestia is close minded. She doesn't think her sister can succeed. She was ready to literally fall right into the role she was being accused of and do anything to keep Luna from going. Even after Twilight stated her reasoning for going, Celestia thought it was so that she could keep Luna safe until she returned from her 'childish endeavors.' We all know Twilight is a powerful unicorn, but, hello?! A unicorn protect an alicorn who can move part of the cosmos itself... yeah, sure. Makes for good relation building, but its obvious Celestia is grasping at straws here to justify Luna leaving, and the Elements going with her.
So, they set out on their journey. And literally, right from the start, shit goes down. Luna (as is later explained) incapacitates both Pinkie and Dash while clearing the clouds, making it that much easier for the diamond dogs to swarm up and capture the four of them. Rarity manages to end up on her own, and joins the ranks of the stories such as The Empty Room, The Immortal Game and Designing Intrigue in my mind. Cause, she kicked some serious ass. I absolutely LOVE this Rarity. Capable of doing some damage herself, and getting out of sticky situations. She's far from helpless, and I applaud you not making her so.
Twilight's anger and rage. Wow. This is definitely going to be a major character issue that reoccurs in the future, I can see it now. It's something that is constantly building on itself, and has never been properly addressed. The scene where Luna pulls Twilight to the side to discuss it. That was great. Amazing, really. It helps the reader delve into the core of who Twilight is, and it also shows us some pretty bitter emotions from Twilight. (using an emotion to describe emotions? Why the fuck not!). Being under/with (in any understanding of the word, I love me some TwiLuna, best Princess and best Pony together there!) Luna is going to be much different than Celestia, that much is certain. And again, you reinforce the whole thing of Celestia needing order in her life, as is seen from her picking and choosing what Twilight has learned, even though she inadvertently came across as both uncaring and witholding said knowledge on purpose at first glance.
Hmm, what else to cover. Truthfully, the story still seems to be in its infancy to me, as silly as it is to say it. We have our premise, we have our end goal / destination for the story.
Ah, yes! The behind the scenes villain. We have hints at what seems to be an ancient dragon or creature of some kind. Something that yearns for either Luna, or ponies in general, assumably to devour. Red meat, hey? This, coupled with an implied female villain, which could be any sort of bad guy (Nightmare Moon, perhaps? There is no evidence to say she could exist separate of Luna or not either way) who is going to be pulling stings. It should be both adrenaline filled and very... Adventur-y when the times comes.
And the hell is up with this Cliif Hanger fellow, playing at James Bond?
Okay, that's the majority of the plot related stuff. Now, the romance. We see definite hints of the Rarity and Dash. Love those two together, the chemistry and potential for character interaction is high. It's not as common a pairing, but it holds a lot of potential. I truthfully don't expect to see Pinkie paired off with anyone at this time, athough who knows. And, of course, the best one out there. Twilight and Luna. I wholeheartedly approve of these two put together in a romantic capacity. I truthfully do. Their characters both speak volumes to who I am and my beliefs, and the chemistry with them... The possibilities are rather endless. Honestly, I'll have to say I'm getting to the point I don't want to read a story with romance if Twilight or Luna end up with other ponies. They're just that good together.
Overall, it's an enjoyable story. I hope life lets you get in more writing time, as I'd love to see more from this as both the plot and relations develop and move forward.
Coat Hanger.
That was my immediate response when I read that name....Why is that what I'm commenting on, and not the great chapter? 
Anyway, great stuff. I'll be eagerly awaiting the next update.
2693696 I love your assessment of the story so far, but you left out one thing about Celestia's control issues. The wild magic and the control towers she put in place across Equestria.
Wow, you take a few days to move most of the way across the country and suddenly everybody has a comment! Excellent
2683531
I'm sorry you're not enjoying the story. I'm not going to get all defensive about it, though. One question - I assume you mean "warrior", not "worrier"? Because otherwise I don't really understand what you're saying about Rarity...
The Cliff Hangar story is basically a silly side-story. It won't be relevant to the actual plot (though it'll probably have a cameo at the end).
2693696
Poco is a gentlebeing and a scholar! It warms my cold black heart that someone is actually recommending my writing
. I totally feel you about the lack of updates - you know how life gets. Thanks for the (enormous!) comment!
There are definitely antecedents for this premise (Within and Without, Dangerous Business, etc.), but I tried to make it substantially original. There's a lot I could say about the various ponies and their lives and attitudes... but as I'm so fond of saying, that should show up in the story, not the comments, so I'll avoid addressing them here
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I'm glad you liked my handling of Celestia! Ugh, she is SO HARD to write for... Putting in all those points which you so correctly brought up without making her a (as Luna put it) spandex-wearing supervillainess was (and continues to be) one of my biggest concerns as far as characterization goes.
If I go there will be trouble..... This block was so much exposition
. The beginnings of stories almost have to be, but still... bleagh. Definitely something I'll work on next time.
(>> implying this story will ever end)
It seems like a lot of the people who write Celestia and Luna fics have had younger sisters (Luna's traditional pranktastic personality) but never older sisters. Even after n thousand years, I still see Celestia as overbearing and overprotective of her "baby sister". Disputable? Sure, but that's the beauty of it.
Oh man I totally forgot about Designing Intrigue! Was that finished? I should go check at some point... I just finished The Immortal Game recently (after this chapter was published, let alone the one with Rarity kicking butt </asscover>), and that's sort of the feel I was going for (though without the childhood trauma and outright sociopathy from her father). Never read The Empty Room... Anyway, yeah, a lot of people seem to make Rarity a lot more fragile than she appears to me (see: Diamond Dog attacks, "I'll rip you to pieces!", etc.), which is a shame, because she's awesome.
Twilight is a very dramatic pony. But she's also right a shocking amount of the time. How much of which is this? To quote Robert Jordan (RIP), RAFO
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Your remark about "infancy", while utterly understandable (and probably correct), is deeply alarming. It took me ~ a year to get this far! WHEN WILL IT END?!
Is horse meat red? I haven't a clue...
I'm almost coming to regret Cliff Hangar. I still like the concept but I am afeared people will be disappointed when he's not actually a critical character, just me having fun...
I refuse to confirm pairings at this stage (probably one or two more chapters?). However, I will say this - I also refuse to succumb to the Pairing the Spares fever that so infests any multi-ship story I can think of. No offense to.. oh, anyone - I love stories like Fixing Up Miss Smarty-pants as much as the next guy, it's just become so inevitable I feel the need to rebel. Hehe, I also have a hard time with non-Twiluna stories (provided Luna appears in the story at all), though I'm usually okay with Twilestia if it's handled well.
I'm glad you're enjoying the story! I won't make promises I know that I can't keep regarding release dates, but I will say that while I shouldn't be any less busy, I should be busy in a more consistent fashion soon, which might (might) let me work on this a bit more.
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Again, thanks for your comments, everyone!
pooooooooooke
23 week later pooooooooooooooooooooooooooke
Lovely story so far, hoping for more soon but plz don't rush on my behalf or anyone else's but your own. It's your story and you should go at your own pace.
i can't help but feel celly is to blame for the unknown wonders and magics of the world. ponies aren't exploratory really, and celestia hasn't really made these magics known to the archives or libraries.