• Member Since 20th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen May 10th, 2021

Fizzy Orange


T

The Evil Enchantress Torka has kidnapped Prince Miche of the Kingdom of Levure. None of the kingdom's warrior dare defy the reptillian warriors of the enchantress! Only one mare is bold enough to challenge the Evil Enchantress, to atempt to save the prince, to brave the Dark Fortress of Ugn, and invicible enough to hope to come back alive: Raindrops of Clan Drops, Barbarian Queen!

A very silly short fic. This is technically a Lunaverse webisode, but does not rely on the continuity of that Alternate Universe so it can be enjoyed by anyone even if you are not a fan of the Lunaverse.

If you don't know the Lunaverse, then please come and visit us in the Lunaverse Group for all the stories in chronological order!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 29 )

I loved this so much great writing a little bloody for MLP but id on't mind :pinkiesmile:

I could have definitely seen this being a part of the Baku dream fic.

No matter what this was very well done loved her destroying her alarm clock and complaing about bread :yay:

This...this was magnificent!

Raindrops felt no remorse as killing him. He liked to kick puppies.

Oh, well, what a dick. Good riddance. :pinkiehappy:

Typo in the title.

With a resounding crash Raindrops broke through the masonry like one would break down a wooden door, finding herself into a long smooth corridor lit by torches.

Another typo. 6th paragraph.

It would the last time that dog would bark as she propelled herself from the ceiling, heading down head first toward the floor.

7th paragraph

Raindrops felt no remorse as killing him.

9th paragraph. Pretty sure that as should be a for.

Raindrops felt no remorse as killing him. He liked to kick puppies.

This bit has nothing to do with the rest of the 9th paragraph. Perhaps separating it from the rest of the paragraph would be best.

With a buck of her powerful leg she shattered the padlock keeping the cell locked and shooed the prisoner away.

Still with the 9th paragraph. I'm thinking that was supposed to be prisoners

the pegasus sheated her sword.

Fairly certain sheathed had an h in it. 10th paragraph.

Raindrops had never see nthe Evil Enchantress,

Extra n. 11th paragraph.

and that she had gain controlled of the Lizard People with those same dark powers

That should be gained. 11th paragraph.

swarming her from all side

Forgot an s. 12th paragraph.

Most just landed againt the stone surface of the walls or the floor,

forgotten s in against. 12th paragraph.

Faolish pegasus!

You meant foalish. 14th paragraph.

Fool! My Dark Power makes me invicible! No mortal can harm me!” said Torka.

Should probably be foal. 37th paragraph.

Realization, then fear, dawn on the monster’s face.

Should be dawned. 39th paragraph.


This is a very fun read. Though now I want to see more of badass warrior queen Raindrops.

1115552 Well I think it's a bit shallow to be the Baku dream. It's supposed to be Raindrops in a trashy romance story, to show her softer side.

1115688 Glad you like it!

1115693 Wow, thanks for the help! Honestly I started this fic last night at like 1:30 AM (I finished work at quarter to midnight) and finished like three hours later and just put it up instantly :rainbowlaugh: was bound to have some errors and typo along the way.

1116571:rainbowlaugh: it's allright, happens to all of us at some point. I just found it hilarious you did that mistake just after pointing out the ones in my fic :rainbowlaugh:

Did you take the story image screenshot with a potato?

1116647 Nah, it was just really late at night and I just googled for one. That's all I could find. I'm just using it as a placeholder while I try to get some proper cover image.

1116647 Here, I took the time to take one myself. That's much better.

I haven't got a clue what just happened, but nonetheless it was awesome :rainbowdetermined2: Good show!

1116843 Thanks! :pinkiehappy: It was a really spur of the moment thing.

Okay I really, really liked this story from beginning to just about the end. You did a great job of narrating the action, making it both intense and gruesome, but at the same time never quite going so overboard as to cross into gorn territory. I especially like how you dropped all these little snippets like Sundrinker as blade of mythic caliber, the Cloud Sage of Moon Mountain, and Raindrops former class mate turned rival in Haltere. All of these little bits really worked to make this feel like only a single chapter of a much larger tale. The revelation that the prince was just a loaf of bread was delightfully absurd.

Ending it all as just a dream, that I've got mixed feeling about. It's an amusing way to tie this to the Lunaverse, but part of me feels this fic could just stand on its own as a wacky MLP one-shot continuity of its own. While this story is perfectly complete as is I certainly wouldn't mind seeing future installments. A little wacky side project like this could be a great way to keep working when writer's block is in the way of your more serious efforts.

Anyway, a few more typos that still seem to be lingering about.

Two more bolts were flung her way and both time Raindrops trusted her sword.

"times"

While debris still ran from the sky,

"rained"?

1117119 Well the dream is really the only reason why the Prince is a loaf of bread :derpytongue2: would be way too silly otherwise no? Also, super secret bonus: 'Miche' is the french word for 'loaf' :raritywink:

Though I don't see why I couldn't just continue Raindrops' epic adventures in further dreams if I felt like it:pinkiehappy:. Plus that way I don't have to explain too much of the backstory :derpytongue2:. Thanks for the two typos by the way.

1117153
I've seen weirder premises presented as straight fics, but it's ultimately your call. Heck, Captain Karotene is going to just be part of the baku dream scenario to start with, but I kinda think I'd like to maybe continue on afterwards as an episodic spin-off in the vein of something like Harpflank and Sweets.

Also, I figure Miche was either bread in some language or another or at least a specific type of bread.

Okay... this is crack. But such delicious crack! I had a smile on my face reading the entire thing.

Another off the wall dream sequence made even better by the appropriate background music. :rainbowlaugh:

This was all the right kinds of awesome. :pinkiehappy:

Somehow this just seems to be the perfect dream for Raindrops. While I know that in the main lunaverse Raindrops works to control her anger, its still great to have a story where she can (albiet whilst dreaming) just cut loose and be a badass.

Also, I don't know where this Raindrops and her bread meme started but this was easily the funniest example of it being used :rainbowlaugh:

Great Job

I have no idea what's going on, but I like this. :3

My only complaint is that there isn't more of these stories.

This. Was. Epic. Raindrops as a Barbarian Queen should be stone-cold fact, cause she's a total badass when she is. Haven't read a good barbarian story in a while (or ever) but this one is amazing.
Also, that ending. Genius.

1174605 Glad you enjoyed it! Maybe there could be more stories if this one got popular enough :raritywink:

Maybe I should consider another chapter...

I should've read this sooner. But with so much other stuff to do/read, and such an obnoxious memory, forgetting about it was kind of a given. So, sorry for only reading it now, Fizzy.

Oh well, I read it, I laughed and I loved it! :pinkiehappy: Still, sorry for only reading it now, Fizzy.

1385907 No problem! The important part is that you liked it :pinkiehappy:

1385947 Oh good. Yes, it was pretty hilarious, especially the 'kicking puppies' and bread scenes. And I must agree with A Tuesday (about wanting more), but this is still perfect by itself.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to catch up with some other Lunaverse stories. :trollestia: Ciao!

I would like to see what Sun Drinker looks like. Like blade length, blade shape, hilt, guard, and so on. :pinkiehappy:

I would like to apologize in advance for recycling parts of your story in this chapter of my crossover story. The title of the chapter is "(LUNA) The Barbarian Queen (a.k.a. Meet the Dumpster Diver)".

RAINDROPS ROCKS!

*Place the conan theme here!*

Short and awesome

5408301 Awesome! I hadn't expect you to read it hahaha! :pinkiehappy:

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