Home is Where the Blood, Burning, and Bullets Are
The Spy considered this a victory. He had single-handedly thwarted an invasion of a country, and with zero unintended kills. The raging battle in the hallway seemed to be over; when he disposed of the queen, the changelings must have cut their losses and ran to the hills. After locating his original knife (which, judging by the new blood stains on the blade, was used at some point in the battle), the Spy left the castle and headed for the train station. The streets were barren, to no surprise. Most people, pony or otherwise, would either run or hide when an all-out attack was happening on the castle not three blocks from your house. This was only a convenience for the Spy, as he could simply cloak through without fear of bumping into anypony.
At the train station, he wasn't surprised to see a decent number of ponies trying to board the train. Amidst the confusion, the Spy slipped on with no difficulty whatsoever. Laying in the baggage car, he got comfortable for the ride ahead.
One train ride later, the Spy disembarked in Ponyville, the same town he had spent the most of his few months in Equestria in. If this little plan of his worked, he wouldn't have to stay much longer. As nice as Equestria was, the Spy could best describe it as a "candy-colored circle of hell" for someone of his profession. Although, as a retirement location... He would keep the place in mind.
His plans for a far-off future were interrupted when he arrived at the library. Looking in the window, he spotted Lyra getting ready to leave, saddlebags full of books. As she went out the front door, saying her goodbyes and thanks to Twilight, the Spy met her.
"See, was that so bad?" he whispered into her ear. She jumped a bit at the sudden voice, but recovered quickly, giving a quick shake of her head. Satisfied that his plan was working, the Spy followed Lyra home and found a comfy sleeping position under her bed. Today had been a very, very long day, and he felt he deserved a rest.
The next few days passed with little incident. Lyra kept going to the library to study humans with Twilight, who seemed to accept the challenge of learning about an entirely new species. News of the second changeling invasion of Canterlot reached Ponyville in little time, but since it was again repelled, no one gave it much mind. Lyra and Twilight began getting further entranced in their studies of humans, surprising the Spy with how much was written about them here. It wasn't much, but it was enough to spark an interest for those who looked for it, and that's all he needed.
Eventually, the day he had been waiting for arrived. Twilight had managed to figure out that humans lived in an another dimension or planet or something, and she found a spell to take them there temporarily. Lyra jumped at the chance, agreeing to go the next day. Once she got home, the Spy waited until Lyra went to sleep. Once she did, he donned her visage and crept into the night. At this hour, there were no ponies on the streets. Despite this, the bottom window of the library was still lit. Perfect.
Walking up to the door, he knocked urgently. The sound of aggravated grumbling could be heard from inside, before a slightly tired, glasses-wearing Twilight Sparkle opened the door. Her annoyed look turned to one of shock upon seeing "Lyra" carrying a small saddlebag.
"Lyra? What are you doing here? I thought you were going to wait until tomorrow to come back."
"Yeah, I know, but I just can't wait." The Spy entered the library, still speaking. "I need to go to the human world now."
This caught the purple unicorn by surprise. "W- What? Why do you need to go now? Can't this wait until tomorrow?"
"No." The single word silenced Twilight, while the Spy mocked levitating an object out of the saddlebag. "Because I found this."
The object he pulled out was, quite honestly, one he forgot he had. It was acquired during one of his countless run-ins with the opposing team's Pyro. For once, he had managed to get a lucky backstab in on the mumbling freak. Sure, he was on fire, and he died soon after from it, but it was still a small victory. This was helped by the fact that, when he respawned, he had a new item on his person:
A left-handed rubber glove, identical to the one the Pyro was wearing on his/her/its head. More than likely, it was the same one that the Engineer had lost weeks ago. He probably knew that the Pyro had it, but he liked not being on fire. Regardless, the Spy held on to the "trophy"; maybe it could be used to trade for a better thing later on.
A free trip home definitely seemed worth it.
"What?! Where did you get that?!" Twilight was stupefied by this new piece of human evidence.
"I found it outside my house just a few minutes ago. Twilight, we have to go to their world. You have some kind of spell for teleporting to where an object's owner is, right?"
"W- Well, yes, but it's still only temporary. We'll only have a minute to look around, and you'll have to stay close to me so you don't get left behind-"
"I don't care about the details." The Spy got right in Twilight's face, getting closer with each word. "We. Have. To. Go. Now."
For a long time, the mare was quiet. Then she finally spoke up. "...Alright. We'll go."
The Spy did his best to let out a high-pitched squeal, getting a respectable result. Twilight's horn lit up as she removed her glasses and focused. The glow grew, enveloping both of them. Twilight let out one more groan of effort, then they were gone.
"Come on, come on, almost there!"
"Stand firm, men! We will beat this wave of metal bastards if it kills us!"
"Uh, Soldier, we're the only ones left. Everyone else died."
"Don't bore me with the details! Just give me results!"
Both of the red-shirted warriors prepared for the last group of robotic Scouts heading their way. They were only armed with bats, but there were a lot of them, and the front running one held a fully-charged bomb on its back. The Soldier stood his ground, letting off a volley of rockets at the horde. The Scout, meanwhile, weaved between the robots, picking a few of them off with his shotgun and picking up the money that spilled out of them.
When there were only a few left, there was a loud pop, followed by a rush of air. Both of them looked at the source of the noise, near the hole specifically designed for throwing a bomb inside (not the best design choice). A large purple glow was located not far from it, and suddenly a pair of creatures landed on the ground. Both of them seemed to be small horses with horns on their forehead; one was green, the other purple.
Both parties looked at each other for a few agonizingly long seconds, before the mercenaries were beaten to death due to their lapse in concentration.
"Anyone keeping track of my heads batted in?" the bomb-carrying robot taunted in a metallic recreation of the Bostonian's voice. There were only two of them, but they had no more opposition in the way of the bomb hole.
"What the- What the hay is going on?! Where are we?!" Twilight exclaimed, completely surprised and confused by what was happening in this weird place. Lyra, meanwhile, didn't appear to be shocked in the slightest; she, or he, rather, had seen this all before.
"Don't worry, I will handle this." Twilight did a double take when her traveling companion spoke in a voice completely different from the one she knew. "Lyra" took out a strange object and stood on her hind legs. The device made a loud noise, and a small cloud of smoke revealed Lyra to really be a human wearing a red suit and balaclava.
The shot from the revolver, meanwhile, implanted itself in the head of the bomb carrying robot, which fell over in a shower of sparks and money. Next to it, the other robot looked at the newly-revealed Spy. "Aww cra-" Its robotic voice was interrupted by another bullet being fired into its head as well. Once it hit the ground, a voice came over the intercom of the area.
"You've beaten them back! For now... Head to an upgrade station!"
The Spy didn't know what this "upgrade station" was for, but he didn't care; that was her voice. He was back.
He was home.
Voices came from a metal door a small distance away from the other side of the bomb hole.
"Nice job, fellas, you did a good job."
"...Uh, we didn't do that. And you should've seen what we saw before we got killed-"
"Wait, you two didn't do that, and we were all respawnin', so who could it have been?"
The doors opened, revealing a rag-tag group of people wearing red. Twilight saw a group of mysterious humans. The Spy, meanwhile, saw his team, in all their incompetence.
When they saw the French man standing there, they all reacted at once.
"Spy!"
"Mph!"
The Spy placed a new cigarette in his mouth, walking towards his team. Turning, he saw a slight purple glow slowly covering Twilight, who was stuck to the spot with shock.
"Give Lyra my regards," he spoke in his normal voice, before adding in the unicorn's own voice, "Twilight."
Before she could state her shock, her horn flared up, and she disappeared in a flash of purple. She was gone.
Turning back to his team, the Spy was almost as happy as he had ever been. "Gentlemen, I have returned."
The team swarmed over to him, assaulting him with questions.
"Where da hell ya been, Spy?"
"What was that all about?"
"Mmph mph mmmphmph mph?"
"Did ya get another bloody fedora, ya spook?"
The Spy did his best to explain where he had been and what happened, but he couldn't care less whether or not his team (particularly the Scout) believed him. He was just happy to finally, after months in a pastel hell, be home.
Home. Where death was certain and cheap, and he was covered in piss, blood, or non-milk substance nearly everyday.
He wouldn't trade it for the world.
While the Spy was answering questions, the Medic was crouched over where the purple unicorn was moments ago. A few hairs were left, either from her mane or tail, scattered on the ground. He picked a few up, examining them carefully. They were similar to normal horse hair, yet they were so unnaturally colored... and he couldn't see any traces of dye. No matter how much he studied the hairs, he always came to the same conclusion:
He needed more.
He needed a live subject.
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...what? Were you expecting me to make some kind of witty comment? Screw you, we can't always get what we want.
Also, there will be a sequel. You could say it will be... out of left field.
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Mission: Awesome
Please tell me the sequel will, at some point, have medic stuffing Luna's still living, disembodied head into a refrigerator?
Excellent conclusion.
Although you need to have the whole team go next time for the sequel. And Lyra trying to capture one of them so she can examine their hands.
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I hope you meant Chrysalis, since Luna isn't dead.
YES! SEQUEL MATERIAL.
Medic has plans for this curious species, and I can't wait to see the experiments. It shall be wunderbar.
WUNDERBAR
You wouldn't add that medic part without a reason
I smell sequel!!!
Oh god, the sadistic ex-nazi wants to perform dissections on the ponies. I don't see this ending well.
uh-oh medic in equestria? not shere if this will be bloodier than GlaDos in equestria
Ze healing is not as rewarding as ze hurting.
Medic in Equestria!?
DUN DUN DUUUNNN!!!!
Hmmm. I see a tangential resemblance to something else on this site. I now feel the need to aimlessly say you plagiarized despite painfully large amounts of evidence to the contrary. ERMAHGERD YER TERTERLER STERL FREM THERS GER!Oh my god, you totally stole from this guy!
Now to actually read this instead of just forwarding a political agenda in an obviously not sarcastic manner.
I read the first two chapters, the ones of approximately one thousand words total. Seems good, it's not something I would normally read, but definitely good nonetheless, best of luck with this.
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Blatant Flanderization, anyone? WARNING TvTropes link.
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Mission: Medical Questioner
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http://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/3/3b/Scout_invinciblenotready06.wav
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Bill: MEDIC HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?!
Medic: I HAVE NO IDEA!
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Mission: Doctor's visit is not cheap
1633139 i gotta say, that is an excellent idea.
Aww, poor doctor. He need's his experiments.
Mission: Medical Mayhem
dun dun duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun.
It's been fun though. Loved this story mate :D
ALL OF MY YES!!
Obvious sequel is obvious
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now its time for medic to go to equestira
Yay for sequel! And STAY AWAY MEDIC!
GIMME MORE!
1633139 Later.
Gentlemen, mission accomplished with panache and style. However, the mission was carried out without any considerable hitches, making for a meh story and, dare I say, an OP Spy.
On a nicer note, imagine Lyra with her new prize, the Respectless Rubber Glove.
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Notify me when Le sequel comes into existence dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Pinkie_Pie_lolface.png
Achievement earned: Get the hell outta equestria!
leave equestria, and end up in the middle of a game of MvM, then help your team fend off a wave of robots!
Aww... Buck.
Well. At least Medic would be pleasant to a willing subject.
Right?
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/430/609/3d9.png
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I'm sitting here, enjoying that post-final-chapter high that writers get (other writers get that too, right?), and laughing my ass off at you people thinking the Medic would go into Equestria himself. Medics don't go for the intel on their own, after all, do they? (If they do, then you have my condolences for having a terrible team)
But yeah. That little "out of left field" comment? Consider that a hint.
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I didn't say Medic would go to Equestria. I said he'd slice up ponies given the chance.
All I gotta say is this:
That is all.
Left field, that means scout.
Looks like Scout and RD are gonna race!!! >:D
Bonk!
mission:GAK GAK GAK
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Medic would want somebody to go with him, or by himself, to catch a living pony for study.
Problems
1)Who would want to go to a place full of sunshine and paste colored ponies?
2)Unless he keep it to hinself, the moment he tells somebody else about his plan, wouldnt Spy, knowing the future of any of Medic's test subjets, try to stop his him?
i can see it now... lyra and Medic start talking about human anatomy and medic is so distracted by someone else being interested that he doesnt notice Twi start to experiment on him
pinkie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw8418-550903_190402337763806_333358478_n_1.jpg
And, for no particular reason other than I found it: pinkie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw8439-15183_498209026876724_1100552595_n.jpg
This chapter makes me glad I took the time to read it all. Good work, and excellent job wrapping it up!
One thing that didn't add up though, Twilight said the spell would put them there temporarily. How come the Spy didn't return to Equestria with Twilight?
1635276You're sending the scout
Lucky bastard
YER HUR HUR HURRR YURRRRRRRRR!!!
Need a dispenser here
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She also said that 'Lyra' had to stay close to her, or else 'she' would be trapped there. This was exactly what Spy wanted, so...
1635276 When did I say the Medic would go to Equestria? He can dissect any overly curious pony that comes through a convenient portal. Say a certain princess?
That was very good. Very. Good. Indeed.
HAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHA
Looks like its time for the medic to practice medicine.
Spy is Scouts father
MORE.... That is if you don'd mind
1633081 I KNOW WHERE THAT'S GOING