• Published 20th Aug 2012
  • 14,004 Views, 633 Comments

Mission: Improbable - The card holder



A certain handsome rogue lives in plain sight in Equestria, with no one the wiser.

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Re-Infiltration

Now that he was fully healed, the Spy started heading back to Ponyville. Honestly, finding Trixie out in the middle of the woods was a stroke a good luck. The fact that she happened to know a spell that was alarmingly similar to the Medic's medi-gun beam was something else entirely. As far as he knew, the changelings still thought he was dead back in the cave. This wasn't the first time he was mistaken for dead, but it was the first time that he'd have to deal with an entire colony. A bit trickier than just stabbing an oblivious Heavy in the back, but he would find a way.

While he was lost in thought, he almost didn't notice that he had stumbled into Ponyville. His cloak unwavering, he begins skulking down the streets. He noted that there were much fewer guards around, now; maybe only one for every block, and they didn't seem to be scanning every pony that passed by like they were before. Still, it was best to err on the side of caution, so err he did.

As he waited next to a wall while his cloak recharged again, the Spy spotted Bon-Bon walking past. The sight of the cream colored mare gave the human an idea. It was far-fetched, and it would take some time, but if he played his cards just right, he could get home at last.


Quietly, the Spy slipped into Lyra's house. Unfortunately, the door made an audible creak upon closing, causing the Spy to flinch and listen.

"Bon-Bon? You back already?"

The Spy silently let out a breath. Since Lyra was home, it would slightly complicate his plans, but it was nothing he couldn't handle. Not making a sound, he crept up the stairs as Lyra seemingly paced about in her room. Soon after he reached the top, the mare's door swung open as she went down those same stairs.

"Hello? Anypony?"

The Spy took this time to swing into her room and grab her journal. He noticed that there were a few new entries, predictably talking about her "encounter with the spirit of the lost humans!" He also noticed that the page with his "signature" was ripped out, no doubt placed in some kind of scrapbook.

Just as he replaced the journal, Lyra re-entered the room. She just barely saw her journal slide into place, and it threw her into a slight panic.

"What- Who's there?!" All at once, she calmed down and spoke almost in a whisper. "I... Is it you?"

Getting back into his "power from the beyond" voice, the Spy responded. "Yes, Lyra, it is me." He jumped slightly when the door slammed and a paper and quill flew out of the desk, floating by the unicorn's head.

"Tell. Me. Everything about humans! Please?" The face that Lyra made would've given lesser men heart attacks. In fact, the Spy was certain it would have spelled his doom, if it weren't for the... modifications that Medic had seen fit to "volunteer" the whole team for.

"In due time, eager one. But, I can tell you this right now: You know the one called Twilight Sparkle?"

"Y- Yes. What about her?"

"If you wish to find out more about humans, you must start with her. She would no doubt be useful for gathering data for you."

The unicorn froze like a deer in headlights. This wasn't unnoticed. "Is there something the matter, Lyra?"

Her earlier enthusiasm had all but disappeared. "Well, I... I've never... told anyone about my... hobby... before..."

This wasn't surprising, given how much she hid her research and stuff. "Then how else do you expect to learn more about us? Twilight is the most knowledgeable pony in town. You know that."

"Well, yeah, I guess..."

"So what are you waiting for?"

The green mare looked up, confusion evident in her eyes. "Huh?"

"You want to find out more about humans, right?"

"Well, yes, but-"

"Then go to Twilight now. Ask her for help."

"But- But what if she laughs at me?"

"I wouldn't worry about that. Besides, I'll be watching the entire time."

She lets out a sigh. "Fine. I- I'll do it."

"Good. And remember..." The Spy passed directly by Lyra's ear and whispered, without the voice: "Ne vous inquiétez plus, mon petite chou-fleur."

When he saw the blush on her cheeks, the Spy grinned. He wasn't sure if it was because she understood him, or simply from his tone of voice, but either way, it meant that, even after months of hiding among pastel colored ponies, he still hadn't lost his touch.

As the unicorn silently left the house, the Spy invisibly followed. Once she reached Twilight's library, she went to knock on the door, but paused.

"I don't know if I can do it..." she whispered to herself just loud enough to be heard by the Spy. In response, he simply whispered a "You can do it" in her ear before backing away. Once she gathered up her nerve, Lyra knocked on the door. The Spy watched as she asked Twilight if she could help her learn about humans. Although surprised, Twilight agreed, just as he thought she would. Just before Lyra heads inside, she turns and gives the Spy a thankful smile. Well, she gave the space to the left of him a smile, but he understood regardless.

After they had started reading something-or-other, the Spy set off to his next objective. Chrysalis said that she would attack Canterlot again. That meant he had a train to catch.


"Keep it up, fellas, we're almost there!"

"Bleep. Beep. Robot noises."

"For the last frickin' time, dumbass, they ain't fallin' for it."

"Then why do they keep dying then, huh, funny man?"

"Because you just blow them up with your damn rocket launcher like ya always do!"

"Will you two quit your bickerin'! We only got one more giant Demo left, and we're home free!"

"I AM READY FOR METAL GIANT!"

5 minutes later...

"...where is metal giant?"

"...I don't know, Heavy. Hey, Scout, wanna go take a look?"

"I got it, I got it. Come on, you robot bastard. Where the hell are-"

"Yer all bloody dead!"

"Aw cra-"

*BOOM*

"Scout is dead!"

"Aw, dammit, is that bot stuck again? You'd think they'd make smarter robots than that!"

"Never fear, I shall sneak up on it and take care of the problem! I am a robot. Hasta la vista.... Feliz Navidad."

"Ahm gonna blast ya into thin glue!"

"Oh no. I am terrified."