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Option 2, I have done less stupid things than most people my age and the things I've done most could probably guess already.

option 1, because I love Chocolate. CHOCOLATE :flutterrage:

on second thought,

Option 2 all the way cause I have the most embarrassing secrets that i'm not ashamed

I like the direction this is going in.

option 2 cause im lacto. (although i drink like 3 glasses of milk everyday :pinkiehappy:)

Cigs without the downside?  Nice replacement.  I suppose if they were to be called anything Pixie Sticks would be most appropriate.  Anyways, I think you may have overplayed on Dash's loyalty there.  It seemed more like obsession, even fanaticism, than regular loyalty.

number 1 yay chocolate:pinkiehappy:

2 is strange:facehoof:

Holy crap what is even going on, lol.:raritydespair:

When this is finally, finally, FINALLY completed to your satisfaction, I will re-read it from the beginning.

The other one is named Jasper, and is a real cute kid, funny enough. He’s really 17, but the poor guy has the body of a baby dragon,

Suck it MrFluttershy

not meant literally of course

Yes, I might have to share somepony I love deeply now, but… say that I truly do love that stallion, and he loves me more than all the other girls.

Shit, she's creepy...

>>1317836

Fuck you Hydkore. You're a malformed dragon. I wouldn't be so happy if I were you. Plus, I used my OC to create a story that's gonna pwn all you n00bs, so I ain't even mad.

>>1329040

Yes yes.... say, do you still need that Pony Creator image of pink alicorn stallion I made for you to use as cover?

>>1330086>>1329040

now, now girls, I know it's that time of month for the both of you, but there's no need to go after each others throats in the comment section.

>>1330092

MrFluttershy would WISH she'd be going through that :pinkiecrazy:

:pinkiegasp:Number 2:pinkiehappy:because i've done some crazy shit that would be sooo funny.:rainbowlaugh:

Back from the fun times are we?  Good to see some life being pumped into this story once more

Huzzah! Moar. :moustache:

I've got nothing to say but that you cut even more stuff from the version I saw :duck:

It has beeen such a long time I forgot everything, now i have to read some to get the story in my mind :trixieshiftright:

Spacecowboy
Story Approver

I've seen a few changes so far, although nothing completely story changing I don't think.  Do you plan on deviating from the original storyline, or is this more of a clean up and redo?  Either way, it is coming along well, and is enjoyable to read.

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/108-Webcomics

Replace all the webcomic referencing with fanfiction and you have this story...

>>1614374

Well, I apologize that my story unfortunately fits all those descriptions, but believe me when I say I don't do all of that on purpose.

so did you just fix the grammar or what?

>>1787923

The new website layout deleted nearly all the work, so I had to shut it down, repost everything, realign everything (double space, specialize the titles, etc.), then open it back up.

wow its been so long since I read the original it will be great to see how your writing skills have improved since then

I will be watching:pinkiegasp::applejackconfused::fluttershbad:

DAMN IT POODICUS! You will never be satisfied with your prose! You're wasting your time and talent trying to micro-edit this story to a perfection that doesn't exist. Sure, the storyline was a bit wonky. Sure, the first few chapters were an unsteady step into putting an idea into readable form. But really, you're worth more than this :raritydespair: Don't fall into the horrible pit trap for writers where you can never let go. Been there, not a good thing :twilightsheepish: I challenge you to write a chapter, proofread it yourself ONCE, hand it off to a proofreader or two, revise it if necessary, and post it. Then you are to NEVER touch it again. I look forward to your acceptance of my challenge :twilightsmile:

Also, you've really improved quite a bit. Good luck with the rewrite!

>>1945804

Thanks man, but seriously, after I stopped giving you the posts, had you seen the later chapters? They were pretty damn terrible. Not as bad as the original chapter 20, but still pretty damn terrible in terms of story.

>>1945851 I didn't see them until pretty recently. Life got really freaking brutal and I just had no time or space in my brain for 504fiction. You really are too hard on yourself :fluttershysad: I haven't read this version yet but it's definitely on my todo list now.

Grammar needs to be polished, but otherwise, it receives my stamp of approval. Also, I like the descriptions you give of the ponies for the people who can remember color schemes.

>>2141284

I actually submitted the chapter before my editors fully got through it because I was getting impatient and because it was getting late. The fixed (fully edited version) has now replaced the non-edited version and the grammar should be good (or at least much better)

It's kinda weird reading this after being so far into the old one. When you said you were fixing it, I assumed you meant that you were changing some things. I decided to reread this new one to get caught back up and was a bit surprised to see the changes.

All in all, I like what you're doing with it now. The original wasn't all that bad but I can see the effort you're putting into this one. Like I said before, it's a bit weird knowing about future things (assuming the outcomes are the same) yet I can't wait to see the next update.

Great seeing that you're still active.

By the way, have I ever told you your getting better at Modern Equestrian?”

You're

“Well, they’re still other fish in the barrel.”

There're

Alright. It has been.. about a year since I last read this.  I will read it again and see if it is still as good. Perhaps I will return to the fandom.

Hmm, I take it this new version is ongoing. I wonder where I may find the old one. I never finished it.

:trollestia: I liked it~ also...they need a different celestia emote. :ajbemused:

Oh behave you.  Poking out at the other stories like that.  People might get the wrong idea about you.

It was actually funny.

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