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*Based off of a true story*
*Image not mine*
Heroes are all around the world. Though, some of them don't get as much recognition as others. They seem like any other pony. But on the inside, they try to be as heroic as possible.
Would you try to be a hero for the ones you loved?
This is the story about a Father and a Son.
(Do NOT read comments! Spoilers!)
Not very well executed. Could have been more interesting and emotional if more care was taken in the presentation. Everything happens too fast for me to feel anything for the characters. The ending doesn't really make any sense either... it just ends with Jackpot asking his dad to take the rock off of him. That's not a conclusion to anything.
I can tell this is supposed to be a eulogy for your son, and I feel for you. It's a great idea for a tearjerker, and your own personal experience with death adds a little extra element to the emotion, but you can't stop there. There needs to be a slower pace, and more description, so we can really hear, see and feel what it's like to raise a son, and then lose him tragically. Unless you do that, the only people who are going to "get it" are the ones who have been through it before. That's what a story is: you put a person through a journey they've never been on before. You show them your story, and teach them lessons.
"Superdad? Can you lift this rock off of me?"Right in the feels.R.I.P Jackpot, 2003-2012...
Your daddy will always love you...
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