Whispers in the Clouds

Rookies on the Rise2,987 stories ·1,133 members

Every Day hundreds of ponies gather to watch the sunrise Celestia brings, Including one Stallion that sits on a cloud high above the plains and cities below. Everyday he sits alone watching the horizon, as the wind blows his mane behind him.

This story was written for a contest so it's a little shorter then i'd like, just a simple read that dosn't need to much time to enjoy.

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Comments ( 8 )

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Backburner

Backburner #1 · Aug 18th, 2012 · · ·

ok quick note to anyone reading this, if your going to thumbs down me thats ok, but please tell me WHY i'm being thumbs downed. I can't improve if i'm not told what i'm doing wrong. Thank you.

00Lizard

00Lizard #2 · Aug 18th, 2012 · · ·

Very cute story! I like how you were able to develop each pony's character in such a short amount of time. You're a very descriptive writer, too. It was easy to ”see” the story take place in my head. There were a few grammatical errors and typos, though: swapping their and they're and other similar words, misuse of commas and quotation marks, and once or twice the present tense wording felt off. But despite that, I didn't want this story to end! Both ponies were very interesting to read about, and I'd love to learn and read more about Whisper Wind.

Backburner

Backburner #3 · Aug 19th, 2012 · · ·

1111741

Hes names Wind Whisper, but given how i only said that in the fic once i don't blame you for getting it wrong.

I like these characters alot, there my first oc's and they have personalities i really liked to toy with. I've decided i'd like to do a sequal, but i've got 2 other stories in the works that I plan or releasing first. I'm not one to do shameless plugs, but if your interested in seeing what i have in store for them give my page a watch, it'll be here eventually.

sierra_seven_

sierra_seven_ #4 · Aug 19th, 2012 · · ·

1112004 Your story (aside from a few minor details) is perfect as it is. I wish you the very best of luck with it!

Backburner

Backburner #5 · Aug 19th, 2012 · · ·

1112113

Thank you, i assume by minor details you mean spelling as I am mankinds worst speller, but if theres something else i'd love to hear your comments

sierra_seven_

sierra_seven_ #6 · Aug 19th, 2012 · · ·

1112148 Comments are truly the lifeblood of every story I'm too busy to properly review it (it's 2.20 AM here) but I will try in the morning. My advice? Join a group, find yourself a good editor and come at it again. You have the imaginative spark, you just need to portray it clearly Best of luck mate, and message me if you have questions!