• Member Since 13th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen Apr 13th, 2015

Brimstonne


You've got to believe in yourself or no one Will believe in you

T

We all know there are quite a few messed up TCB universes that differ so much from the show ? So let's write a fic which is right canonically.( IS that a word ?)

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 46 )

And THIS is how it should have been in the first place.

I found it good.

Well done.

Thank you all.

*engages dramatic announcer voice* AND THE WORLD IS SAVED ONCE AGAIN!

Well done, sir.

First dislike ? Why don't you comment ?

1115933 Hmmmm... Mad that I didn't make the story complete wish fulfillment and pro-pony ?

Wow, just wow. I've read some terrible fics but this one, this one is the worst out of them. I know you're trying to write a parody of !TCB but this doesn't even touch the main things of TCB besides Celestia and the potion. This all seems like it was written in 30min and you just hit the submit button and didn't care about the grammar because I found one ever three words. Heck the story is even more weak than a wet sheet of paper because it didn't make sense let alone poking fun at !TCB. The pacing was terrible, Celestia didn't even sound like Trollestia, nothing in there was funny and the last chapter didn't even fit into the 580 word story that should of been making fun of the story. I've got no idea what went through your head when trying to write this because it sucked more cock than a Tiwanise hooker during tourist season.

So go back, re-write it with an actual plot, some characters, edit it and throw in as many joke, refrences and stupid things about !TCB because this parody didn't even make do any thing beside having Celestia spelt right.

1/10 would not bang.

1115944 Grow some balls, and learn that it is a parody and not meant to be taken seriously.

1115949
At least make it a good parody, and I think I've got more balls than you.
*pulls out a sac of basket balls*

Where's the excitement if there ain't people taking it "Seriously"?

1116005 Nah, I made a deal with Nine Toes, I got 4 more than you. ( If you get this reference, you are awesome.)

1116015
I went to Moxie and she gave me the balls of all her ex's so I now have way more balls than you and Nine Toe's three balls.

1116032 XD, had a good laugh at that.

1116054 Anyways, I am making a horror TCB fic.

The story was way, way too rushed and the chapters are too short. Even if the idea is really interesting.

Interesting that you had most of the ponies in-character.

Personally, it would be better as a "straight story" with lengthened chapters and better pacing.

On a good note, I like how you made the leaders of the HLF and the PER completely disgusting characters. Their motives are a bit weak but hey, since when do extreme xenophobes need to a motive to do horrible things?

1116074
Well I'm making a !TCB parody fic where nothing is safe...not even the seaponies.

1115933 Oh, yes. This is how it should have been in the first place.

Dang! You beat me to it! :twilightangry2: Still I am VERY happy to see I wasn't the only one who was tired of having Celestia mass mind rape the human race and with Twilihgt (and the other Mane 5) act all "holier than thou" to every human they meet.

No advertising, silly.

More dislikes and no comments, mad TCB fanboys ?

LOLOLOL
i guess this is good
atleast you dint make the humans the fugitives
we would so kick their asses when it comes to war

i dont know what to feel about this
you described the ponies massacre-ing us
but then the S.W.A.T arrived and said they were no match for em
and decided to surrender so......9/10 i guess
for being more realistic compared to most of the TCB fanfics i read
(most of them being the ponies totally wiping the floor with us with their overrated-non existent magic and their abilty to be immune to guns 24/7):moustache:

Rushed pacing and grammar desperately needs fixing. Even for a parody, needs a lot of work. 2/10 at best from me

1117280 Hahahahah, you really didn't read the bottom of "epilogue" did you ?

1116773
No, I think the Downvote Brigade are doing there job again.

I believe the joke here is that it's all a joke, whether Masky meant this or not it's still true.

The story was poorly worded and barely proofed but it's not going to be fixed up much with how silly of a thing it is. The real joke is that if the events of TCB were to unfold, and the characters of the canon stayed true to the canon, then there wouldn't be that much of a story to tell except a short, rushed, badly paced thing no one would care to proofread.

The real joke is that the whole series is nonsense through the forced nature of any conflicts they use. One could very easily use TCB as a base for a story unrelated to the actual events of the conversions, a way of introducing humans into equestria or ponies into earth for some nice slice of life pieces, maybe a human turned pony would venture into Equestria and be tossed into an adventure in that truly dangerous fantsy world full of monsters and magic, or maybe even to concentrate on the psychological and sociological issues such transformations would cause. Instead any potential is lost as the focus is put to the over-played and unrealistically capable forces of the HLR and PER groups, and those no good meanies known as humans. Most parodies reverse this by overplaying ponies as bad rather than humans, the only other way it could work.

So in the end all you can do is present one side as realistic and true while the other side far from that in order to fit with this series' weird 'canon', but that results in both being unrealistically distorted. This parody rings true by showing that if you were to add the go to problem causers of the series they would just fizzle out into nothing as both sides rush to stop the less competent crazies.

The joke is that there is no story here if you care about any sort of canon. This series was based around a bad idea and nothing good has come of it. If you write anything with the title "Conversion bureau" in it you'll be downvoted by people who like the series if you parody it (PER), and downvoted more by the larger majority of haters of the series for writing anything that's not (HLF). People should find or make a better universe for writers to fling their self-inserts at, because this one need some serious reworking and rebranding if anyone using it wants to get taken seriously. Honestly, it wouldn't be hard to make, people just want to either tell you how much they don't like humanity or grind their teeth at those that do.

1136808 YOU ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND ME! YES!

pontificating

Pontification? As in pontifex, which means pope in Latin? Why would you want to convert people into popes?
Are they shooting "Wololo" serum? :rainbowwild:
1136808

One could very easily use TCB as a base for a story unrelated to the actual events of the conversions, a way of introducing humans into equestria or ponies into earth for some nice slice of life pieces maybe a human turned pony would venture into Equestria and be tossed into an adventure in that truly dangerous fantsy world full of monsters and magic, or maybe even to concentrate on the psychological and sociological issues such transformations would cause.

These are the reasons why the "Conversion Bureau" premise sounded interesting to me in the first place. Imagine how disappointed I am that I still can't find such stories anywhere, instead it's mostly, as you said, ponies displayed as superior creatures or humans killing ponies. :ajbemused: That's wasting a huge lot of potential.

Are you updating this?

Better than the original :pinkiehappy:

A fitting punishment for Breen and Gemstone - alive and aware, eternally facing off against each other.

You should have given those bastards to me;. I'd show them REAL pain.

twilight.ponychan.net/chan/files/src/137195671784.jpg
Wow.
This is actually pretty good. I mean, TCB deconstructed an reconstructed in less than 600 words.

Yes. What would Equestria do if they were suddenly spirited away from their own world, and dropped into a new one, no way back home, and found their own world now acting like a endless expanding wall, and that humans couldn't survive in their universe, so they had to be turned into ponies/zebra/dragons/griffins/minotaurs, a species that COULD exist in Equestria. And having to deal with Equestria natives who don't WANT these aliens turned into their own people, having changeling flash backs. And having with deal with conspiracy buffs who think that the transformation will turn them into Celestia butt-kissing zombies, that Celestia dropped their Equestria onto their world on purpose as part of some evil plan, that the slowly converting universes will stop if they just fire enough nukes at it, and the changelings taking advantage of this to convince humans how the evil ponies are all elitist genocidal killers and how the changelings MUST be their true allies to 'save the world' . . . when the barrier will consume earth no matter WHAT either side do, it ACTUALLY WAS a random collision between realities was NOT a scheme by ANYONE behind it, when the transformation DOESN'T effect the personalities of those changed, Celestia has no intention of declaring herself ruler of the territories taken over by the barrier, and has to deal with HLF who want to exterminate the 'alien invaders' and the 'species traitors' while the OTHER extremist group forces the change on others thinking it's what Celestia wants no matter WHAT she says, and denying those who WANTED to become something new (like say a dragon or a zebra) a chance to BE that something new, but are made to be a pony.

What if giving up your species WAS the only way to save your life, and KEEP your culture from vanishing, rather than the change in species BEING a means to eliminate your culture?

3725859
Son, I have no clue of what you just said.

1115933 What's wrong with the ponies being in character? :P You honestly like the grimdark hockey?

I was looking for a TCB like this. I could have seen it go 2 ways: either like this story, where a choice between immunity, ponification, or neither (and the fact that a magical substance can be used on a species that would be killed by it [ the {magic in the} substance]? I call bullsh:yay:t! The only way they would ever work is if magic wasn't deadly to humans, thus, taking out the need for using the potions in the first place!:flutterrage: ). Or you could have made it so the ponies helped us create a FTL drive and put them on a "new homeworld" and create a galactical alliance between them, with hopes of creating a way to allow humans become 'magic-sickness' immune.

This fanfic was a nice breath of fresh air sense I don't like most conversion bureau stories because of the way the ponies treat mankind it was light on story however and it would have been nice if it was much longer but good job with making it accurate to what the Equestria in the show would do I think it would do the same thing

Login or register to comment