By Celestias teats! AJ, you've got a whole lot o' trouble coming yer way.

Applejack is in interesting times, as the curse goes. I'll be watching this.

I'm curious about the romance tag, though. I'm usually wary about anything with a romance tag and an OC tag, but I'll give it a shot. Especially since your OC's so far seem well done.

I am excited to see where this goes, wonderful so far.

this better be featured. NOW!

AJ would make a awesome western hero

This is shaping up to become one of my most favorite fics ever.

Romance? Dark? Adventure? AJ with a gun as a cover art? Good Reviews? By Celestia... This story seems to have so many good qualities. I will definitely give this a read.

oooh this is awesome, can't wait for the next chapter!

Interested in romance tag as well.

Hoping it is alluding to Rarijack.

As an Equestria Daily pre-reader that's just reviewed your fic, I do hope you continue this.  It has fantastic potential, and I dearly want to see more!

my only reaction:

HOLY CRAP

Scootaloo?

Thanks for the compliments, everyone. This is pretty much my first time writing any fiction for years, and the first thing I've ever let anyone else read, so apologies if I make mistakes. I'm not sure how long I'm planning on making this, but I know it won't be short.

>>11076751107675

I don't want to give anything away, but I'm not a huge fan of OC/mane 6 romance either. I only think it works when the OCs are really engaging, and the mane 6 are perfectly in character. Needless to say, I doubt there will be any in this story.

... whoa.

oh shit!!!

All of these cliffhanger chapter endings are putting me on edge. I'll favorite this, because it's got me really hooked. I really want to see where this is going.

You, sir, are amazing. I've been following this since the first chapter came out. Can't wait until the next one's up.

Wait... RD survived 300 years?

Also this story is amazing

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Applejack_lolface.png

"As Applejack tried to process this information, the solder had clearly become impatient."

You misspelled soldier.

Well that was interesting. I'll hold off on a proper review for now, but you have my interest based on the first chapter.

>>11555501155550

Thanks for pointing that out. These things tend to slip through my checks.

I'll keep my eye on this one. Keep up the good work.

Ok this is interesting enough that I'm going to favorite it. But there's sort of not a whole lot for me to review at this stage. Still, let's just see how much I have to say before I go apologizing about how little that is.

One: the cover image is a little deceptive. Sure it got my attention, but this ain't a western. Maybe it's the best image you could find, but I felt that it deserved mentioning.

Two: Was the time travel thing supposed to be a big twist? I sort of guessed it during the first chapter when Twilight mentions that it's a spell to speed up time. It thought it was pretty obvious that it wasn't an alternative universe.

Three: and this is my last complaint but perhaps it's barely worth mentioning, but umm... Damnit man! I had evil Twilight Alicorn first! Ok just kidding, but still I feel a little bummed to see another story using a similar idea even if we did have the ideas independently. Ah well, forget I mentioned anything.

Four: Stop ending chapters on cliffhangers. It's not a good idea. It doesn't help your story. It was the worst thing about anthropology. A cliff hanger is fine, but so far you've had three chapters, and all of them have ended after a big reveal. One or two cliffhangers occasionally is fine, but having them constantly is a bad bad bad idea.

Now the other things I want to mention are my expectations for this story. First things first, you have romance tagged. I don't know who the romance will be between but I'm suspecting AJ and somepony else. If that somepony is one of the characters you've already introduced then I sort of have to say that I have not picked up any romance between any of them. So, if it is one of the already introduced characters, just letting you know that your being real subtle with it. And I like that. Romance that builds slowly is the best I think.

Also I'm expecting a strong character arc in this. I want to see AJ develop plenty. I freaking love a good character arcs, and I absolutely love the idea of AJ developing into a badass heroe of the resistance. Your cover image only helps encourage that idea. I hope that's where you intend to go with this.

Oh and I'm very curious to see how Twilight changed into what she did. I know that's the obvious mystery set up, but I am interested.

>>11557561155756

One: Yeah, I know. I spent ages trying to find a relevant image, and this is the closest I could find. I'll probably be commissioning a friend to draw me a new one, after she's read it, but until then I didn't want a complete lack of image.

Two: It wasn't really. I mean, it was to Applejack, and she's the pony the story's being told from, so it was written like it was. But, seeing as the title and description hint at it, not to mention the hundreds of obvious clues I set up, it wasn't meant to be for the readers.

Three: Heh. Sorry about that. I honestly thought the idea of an alicorn Twilight had been done hundreds of times before. And anyway. Whoever said my one is evil?

Four: This won't be how all the chapters end. I've always preferred a cliffhanger, or something that inspires me to read more, at the end of chapters when reading myself, rather than a regular ending. But yeah, this won't always happen. I realise three in a row was a bit much, but I always imagined this section as one chapter. I just split it up after realising how huge it was going to be.

Thanks for the interest in my story. I really appreciate the feedback.

I expected fluttershy heck I even think that's Rarity, but that I did not expect. This is an awesome story thank you for writing such a masterpiece.  :D

O__O Wha? This is getting all kinds of intense.

Saw it comin'. Then again, I was hoping for it, so I can't complain.

I don't mind the cliffhangers. :3

But they still make me refresh the story every ten minutes.

>>11688071168807

ETA for next chapter: 2013

>>11688311168831

I'm doomed. My life is officially over.

I like your story. I thought the plot is well developed, the characters fit well, there were exciting twist and...

LOOK AT MY BLOG!

Ah-hem. Sorry.

Always Sincerely,

The Music Man

This actually looks.promising

And now I'm about to go through the third Excitement Disintegration of my lifetime, due to the awesomeness of this story. World, I'll see you when Ra reminds me how to self-reintegrate.

Applejack. Sci-fi. Dark. Adventure?

Yeah, I'm reading this.

But I sincerely hope the romance tag isn't Rarijack (Or Appledash, Celestia help me). Or any mane 6 x AJ for that matter. What can I say, I'm just not that into to shipping the mane 6 with one another.

Anyway, this looks intriguing, and I'll give you my thoughts when I get around to reading it

You see this shit? Keep it up. This is exactly the sorta thing I love. I mean, HOLY SHIT. Applejack is 300 years in the future, fighting against Twilight's totalitarian Equestria? THIS IS WHAT I FUCKING LIVE FOR. YES. OH GOD YES. I CAME.

Your ideas intrigue me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

Aww, And I was about to get some sleep. PONIES DO NOT WAIT.

Applejack x Old Rainbow Dash [/vomit]

Applejack x Chancellor [/why.jpg]

Applejack x Scootasoldier [/unlessimissmymark]

High Inquisitor Pinkie x Missing Luna [/betterthanitsounds]

Congrats on making it onto EQD. Just thought I'd stop by and say that.

So, so far has been included in the story, how does pinkie fit in this mayhem.

>>11555241155524

Hate to point it out but, to me your avatar looks like a gorilla wearing lipstick with a white muzzle... just sayin'

OHAI!

I must say this story grows on me more and more. I was gonna give it a shot and, really you didn't have me in the net until the note, not revealing who The Specialist is! But there you got me! Now I just gotta read on and see who it is!   So I'm really looking forward to new chapters!

As my suspicions go, I guess we've already met a fair lot of the Mane 6's great great whatever grandchildren! I'm guessing Applebloom is Idared's great great really really great great grandmother and Aspen is a descendant to Rarity. Tera, not liking action and stuff could be related to Fluttershy and i'm also guessing the pegasus guard and The Specialist might be Scootaloo and Sweetie Bot...eh...belle.

Ah anyways... I don't mean to preach to the choir, it's just fun to speculate. ;)

So...I know quality is not to be hurried, but please please please, bring us mooooaar!!

>>11983141198314

Thanks a lot.

>>12006601200660

I actually love comments like this. Where any readers give me feedback of what they liked about the chapters. Also speculation is really fun for me to read, and won't really negatively affect how I write the rest, seeing as I've already got the majority planned out.

I'll be getting content out as quickly as studies and Guild Wars 2 will let me. Thank you all so much for reading my silly little story.

Im loving this so far, keep those chapters coming!

Tyrantlight? Twirant? Twipressor? Whatever you call her, I really can't wait to see where this goes, this is an amazing premise with huge potential. I can't wait to find out how Twilight became an evil dictator, what happened to Luna, Celestia, and the Elements, and what Twilight does when she finally meets Applejack face to face. Liked, fav'd, and followed.

“This is Tera Hertz, our communications expert.”

I c wut u did thar.

Twilight killed Celestia?

Image: http://whattheeff.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/jenga-shit-just-got-real-333x223.jpg

Wow. The shit keeps getting realer and realer.

So Commander Firefly is... huh, I would've guessed Pinkie Pie. Nice choice, there!

Really, what else can I say that hasn't already been said, besides "brilliant story!"

The Phoenix... I'm thinking that it's PeeWee so that means Spike had got to be around somewhere I mean he's a dragon they live a long life, and I don't think he'd like Twilight doing this.  But I could be wrong with the phoenix thing it could be Philomena

Still this story is good like to see where this is going and I hope it has an ending

You have a great story going on here, Crimson. The plot twist and challenges that you present are original and your ability to connect Nova Equestria to Equestria is astounding. The politics are believable and the story engaging. It is also light. I have to say, when writing a story that is dark, many authors will be bogged down by their own depressing thoughts and forget to use humor and light pony interation to cheer up the story.

Only because I am a big advocate of advertising, I want to extend an invitation for you to check out my blog on some of the humble writing tips I offer. I would also direct you to The Snow Flake Man at http://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/ . Maybe you can give me a tip or two.

Always Sincerely,

The Music Man

(Me, reading the story)

Alright, this doesn't seem too bad so far. Twilight attempts new magic, something happens, spell goes pear-shaped, someone gets sent to somewhere else, yadda yadda yadda.

All fairly standard parallel world stuff. I just hope the author doesn't do something stupi...

>Alicorn Twilight

Image: http://scranton.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/thumb/mlfw7693.gif

Image: http://denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/thumb/mlfw829.jpg

Sorry, but that's it for me.

(Making a prediction here, however:

AJ got sent forward in time, not to an alternate world. It was a time spell. Overloaded Twi, making her an Alicorn *shudder*, goes mad with grief, kills Princesses, changes the world, so on and so forth)

>>12246331224633

Sorry it wasn't to your liking. Thanks for giving it a shot though.

This is extremely stupid and mean of me, but frist.

Will edit the comment when I'm done reading.

EDIT:

Well... The only two words I can think of about this story is "More" and "Great".

I wonder what will happen when AJ and Chancellor meet, but this is surely going to be epic. And I trust you will tell us who pegasus soilder from last chapter was.

Btw, turning Celestia into stone... I can smell Discord there.

She's fancy even in the future.

Ooh~ I'm just shakin' in mah little horseshoes, this is gonna be good.

You know, I can believe that Twilight would get so angry at the princesses that she would take over Equestria. I can believe that Twilight got so sad and angry while looking for a way to get Applejack that she turned all her frustration at Celestia when she wouldn't allow Twilight to use the spell. But I can't really see her agreeing with treating earth ponys as second class citizens. I can't really see how she would justify that, even as she turned insane. Hopefully it will be explained in a latter chapter.

P.S. Fluttershy is probably still alive so the only Mane6 pony you left out of the story was Pinkie Pie. You're a jerk!

P.S.S God this story is so AWESOME! PLEASE write more soon!

I can't wait to learn more about what turned Twilight evil, if it was some external Nightmare Moon-esque being or just her own mind twisting upon itself. And fantastic chapter.

I absolutely LOVE this

I need MOAR

Rainbow's story...DAAAMMN

Lol at Rarity; I'd had my money on her being the specialist, but i guess i'll have to wait and see....

When I read the last line, I went to hit the 'Next Chapter' button. No such thing was there................. Man I hate waiting......  

>>12254151225415

Shh, suspension of disbelief.

It's a very useful thing to have when reading a story.

Word of advice, disregard any logic you have when coming into one.

As for the story, the plot is progressing rather nicely.

And you certainly did a bang up job of turning Equestria into a shithole.

Well done indeed. Not on the Fallout Levels, but coming damn near close.

Ooh, I'm quiverin' in me booties!

MOAR

I'm just a wee bit puzzled by this:

"If what Rainbow had said was right, there was a way for her to return home."

What exactly does this refer to?  I apologize if I'm just being unobservant at the moment.

Other than that, I found it quite a good chapter.

Two things:

1: That escalated quickly. Very quickly.

2: I NEED MOAR! THIS STORY IS ADDICTIVE!

>>12254151225415 Fluttershy isn't alive. She died when she was still young.

>>12258711225871

She said 'Something about not being able to pluck ponies out of time indirectly', implying there was a way, as long as it's direct.

Sorry. I didn't make that very clear.

>>12254151225415

Hopefully it will be explained in a latter chapter.

>>12258791225879

Fluttershy was never stated to have died, just disappeared.

>>12259051225905 Oh... well, there is a word in my parent's native language that translates to both disappeared and dead, so I thought you meant she died without a trace.

My mind is blowin' up every time I read a chapter from this.

Dark sci-fi with ponies... Damn, that is good stuff.

good GOD give me more! this is SO FUCKING GOOD.

>>12257701225770

I have suspension of disbelief, that's not a problem. I just don't want the characters to act completely out of characters, and if the do i want a reason why. But I completely trust crimsonwatchtower so it shouldn't be a problem.

>>12258791225879

It doesn't say that she died. It only says she vanished one night. And she should also have been affected by the length age spell so it's probable that she's still alive. I would honestly be surprised if she didn't turn up eventually.

Why is it that I keep reading Glen's dialogues with Soap Mctavish's voice in mind? And btw, good story so far. for this, have a badass pic:

Image: http://th09.deviantart.net/fs70/200H/f/2012/235/1/a/apple_seal_by_dante_hinomori-d5c6rle.jpg

I can buy Twilight doing plenty of evil stuff and justifying it to herself, but zapping Celestia is the sort of thing I can't see happening without being possessed by Nightmare Moon or something (though that would be a good explanation for everything else that has happened).

I guess it's also conceivable that Twilight's plan was to live long enough to find Applejack and send her back in time, thus making whatever evil deeds it takes to get to that point irrelevant...

>>12269341226934

That's pretty much how I imagine his voice. Gruff and Scottish.

This is great. Eagerly awaiting the next chapter.

Was it ever featured? Because if it wasn't, it bloody well should be

My interest is starting to spike in dystopias. I already love post-apocalyptic stuff, but this is really unique.

This story is causing all sorts of feels to well up within my little black heart. Mostly sad ones. I HATE sad feels! But they're so addictive!

I must say, I love the whole "dystopia" setting that's created. I'm happy to say this is my first FIM fic and I can't wait for chapter 5.

'Cmon mate... Please please pleeeeeeasssseeee put up another chapter. Your cliffhangers are agonizing.

>>12534601253460

If you insist~

update eh?

HALLELUJAH!

And theeeere go most of my feels again. I'm not usually one for dark stories but you've got me hooked here!

Favorited

Wait... Sweetie Belle burnt alive?

No offence, but You have no soul.

But anyway, keep writing. You are making there a great story.

Take this, despite what happened to Sweetie Belle:

Why... How dare you make me have feels! You monster! Also, I'm just gonna go ahead and spoil the plot, SWEETIE IS ALIVE!

Flies through time, somehow gets into a romance with one of her friends.

Yuuuuuuusss update!

Things are getting real interesting. Please continue.

Image: http://scranton.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw3165_small.png

>>12554411255441

Yuuuuuuusss update!

Things are getting real interesting. Please continue.

So, the specialist probably isn't Rarity, and now we know it's not Sweetie either, hmmm....

This is good. I was honestly expecting the Rarity-Rainbow encounter to play out exactly like it did, but it was still pretty powerful, nonetheless.

Keep going. I need this.

My only regret is that I have but one up vote for you.

>>12560241256024 What if sweetie escaped, and she really is the specialist? Her being a unicorn she could probably have escaped somehow....

>>12639311263931 Good point, I hope we'll find out soon!

>>12641641264164

The Specialist is Charlie Sheen.

>>12642321264232 That makes a lot of sense. Charlie the unicorn!

Image: http://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/Charlie_58c075_1811480.jpg

Anyone else can't wait for when AJ actually goes and talks to Twilight? I really can't wait for that confrontation, and something tells me Twilight isn't as evil as the others think.

So, for the most part, I've called every major "reveal" of what's going on and who all of the characters have ended up as. And in some stories that would make me think the author was boring and uninteresting. But, in this case, IT'S PERFECT!!!

Your characterizations are spot on and your progression of time flows very naturally from the MLP: FIM cannon. Your OCs are actually interesting and aren't there just as bad author self-inserts. This story is amazing, the world building is fantastic, and, honestly, I can't wait for more!!!

Speculation aka Rant:

I do think its odd the way you went with the race's ages and the magic they hold. This is just my head cannon, but, age-wise, instead of Earth<Pegasus<Unicorn as you have it, I go Pegasus<Unicorn<Earth. Magically speaking, unicorns show the most, then pegasus, and finally earth. But to me that's just what is showing, earth ponies have innate magic that boosts strength, endurance, and gives them a link to the land.

In that regard, I'd think the spell would actually make earth ponies live the longest, followed by unicorns and  pegasus, since they have the most untapped potential. As for the other races, it seems that while unicorns are more obvious about magic use, pegasus, in fact, use their magic constantly by always being able to walk on clouds and fly (it takes high level unicorn magic to give those abilities to non-pegasus after all). If that is the case, then the rate they go through magic would give them the shortest lifespan of the three races (plus most pegasus seem to live life a bit fast and hard).

The way Rainbow Dash described it, it seems like Sparkle only cast the spell on unicorns and pegasus. That and the fact that the oldest pony we've seen in show is Granny Smith, who is at least 100 years old (she was there at the beginning of Ponyville). Makes me wonder about what Sparkle is up to. Of course, I'm probably way off base on all that, but speculation is fun!

Spoilers/Predictions************************************************************************

So the soldier who helped AJ was

The Specialist is a tough one, part of me thinks its still , but it could be undercover, or depending on lifespan it could be

Image: http://img207.imageshack.us/img207/9154/zecoraangrynoering.png

As for what's next, I'm thinking AJ gets some gun training, meets up with the helpful soldier, and maybe finds that either , , or the

Image: http://book.fallout-equestria.com/forum/images/smilies/cmc___trotting_by_creshosk-d41artm.gif

Image: http://i1067.photobucket.com/albums/u426/Ydjm/YdjmSmileys/lunawhat.png

Or maybe the whole thing is just a plot hatched by .

End-of-Spoilers***************************************************************************

BTW IF THIS WAS TLDR, JUST KNOW ITS AWESOME AND I'LL BE READING!!!

>>12697921269792

Thanks for the feedback. I really appreciate it.

Interesting theory with the ages and magic. I honestly didn't think of them as set amounts that you can use up, like energy. I went more with something like intelligence. To me, unicorns have more magic, allowing them to do more. With pegasi, I see where you're coming from. But I see their magic as more limited, as they have no control over it, and it can only be used for a couple of applications. As for earth ponies, I see their abilities of strength and endurance as natural abilities, separate from their magic talent, which is negligible. I had no idea how old Ponyville was, so I assumed Granny Smith was around 80.

So yeah, I've gone with the fairly simple approach, I'm afraid. It would be a good twist if Twilight had purposefully not performed the spell on earth ponies, but that's not the case. They lives were increased, but by a few months at most. I love the theories readers have, and usually I wouldn't give away the plot, but I wouldn't want you chasing an unintentional red herring. Still, speculating is fun, for you to make as well as me to read.

It wasn't tl;dr at all. I love seeing stuff like this! Thanks for reading.

"Let's do some paperwork"

...well, there goes this chapter's chance at starting th' romance.