Miss Cheerilee is sick, but the town doctor is more than happy to fill in. All the students think he's a little kooky, but Sweetie Belle believes he might hold the answers to many of her questions about life.
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A nice first chapter. Fits the tone of the show nicely Although Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon always anger me with their bullying. Although, I suppose that means you wrote them very well, yes?
And oh boy, is this new teacher gonna be fun...
Seems like an interesting and pretty original idea.
Hmmm...interesting...
Alright, I'll follow.
(Also, Sweetie Belle. <3)
Rarity is such a *****! GOSH ILL NEVER BE THAT KIND OF SISTER!!
This has promise. Perhaps Rarity should fall down a well... actually, that would be pretty funny. Especially if it had bats in it.
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Don't give me ideas
Silly me, forgot to mention this in my comment so I'll just say it now:
Will Sweetie and Rarity's parents appear in this fic?
There are two little things that caught my eye:
“It’s an abomination,” she screamed as the rest of her spoon sunk to its dissolving doom.
and
“Rarity,” she yelled.
It would be better to use exclamation marks here so that the reader can feel the outbursts of yelling and screaming better, I think. Hope you don't mind.
I'm looking forward to upcoming chapters. =)
I Just Learn't Somethin Today
Quick question is the doctor this pony images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20111212174238/mlp/images/d/dc/Doctor_examining_Spike_S2E10.png
I love this. So much.
Seriously. I wish I had had a few more teachers like this while I was in school.
This is fun
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iambrony.jsmart.web.id/mlp/gif/133504993218.gif
Nice. Very nice.
Awwww poor sweetie good story though, looking forward to updates
Rarity needs to learn to be a better sister, that being said sweetie is being deliberately awkward. Also FIRST. Good update though, keep them coming
Ew philosophy.
Yay, philosophy!
Cutie Mark Crusaders Philosophers. Yay
Rarity why u so uncaring. I thought the social helped.
And the doctor such a troll. Lol
(Heavy voice) I LOVE DIS DOCTOR!!!
I suppose Intelligent Design flies as a theory in a world wherein "it was magic" is a sound and commonplace explanation for things...
I love this so much
You sir, are awesome
I always look forward to this story updating. Definitely deserves more attention than it's currently getting.
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You're too kind
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Workin' on it
This story is great and light hearted... My favorite! Can't help but noticed how much the doctor reminds me of my us government class teache
I still think Rarity could use an 'attitude' adjustment.
1287903 "Who, muah?! Why I never!"
Rarity needs a slap or sweetie is going to end up hating her, which she appears she's on her way to already
Buck you Rarity!
No matter how much I try to keep reading the doctor's lines in his voice, he keeps starting to sound like Professor Oak in my mind...
Yet again, you manage to capture the simple joy of discovery. Reminds me of why I'm becoming a teacher.....
Fluttershy: "were like marshmallows."
Rarity: "who's a marshmallow."
Me:
Still loving this story. :)
A couple things that bothered me, however. First was the doctor's line, "Perish the thought my awesome advisor!" I dunno. 'Awesome' just seems like a really strange word for him to use in the context given. I'd expect something a little more... sophisticated? Perhaps his 'ardent' advisor? Amiable? Avian? Or even some random, unnecessarily long word like 'autoschediastic' (which doesn't make sense, but still) that no one would understand the meaning of autoschediastically.
Second was the part of the lunch conversation which drifted towards alligators and how they kill and eat their prey. I mean... I guess the ponies are at least aware of the fact there are carnivores in the world, but it still just seemed really strange how calmly the doctor and (far more surprisingly) Fluttershy talked about it over a meal. And Sweetie Belle didn't seem the least bit perturbed either. She's a bright and curious filly, but I definitely feel like talking about how an alligator uses its teeth to rip apart and devour its food would at least elicit some reaction from her.
The third thing is really more of a nitpick than anything else, along the same vein as the first. Rarity saying, "How to make your older sister mad?" sort of broke my concentration on the story. 'Angry' or 'upset' might've been better word choices, in my opinion.
Aside from that, there were several spots in the dialogue with missing commas. Such as after 'Well' and 'Hey', and before names (and pronouns being used in place of names).
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Thanks for the comma help! That was one of the problems cited in my first rejection. And for the other stuff too
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Not a problem, good sir! Always happy to lend a helping hoof.
Maybe it's just because I'm at that part in Dr. Who, but I keep reading the doctor's lines in Tennant's voice. It's working surprisingly well!
I'm loving the story! It's slightly preachy at times, but it has great subject matter. Wonderful writing style as well. Can't wait to read more!
Ouch...why would Scoots go and do a thing like that?
Oooooh dear, atleast 2 crusaders in a lot of trouble good chapter though
Now I'm remarkably curious as to why Scootaloo would steal a baby chick. I suppose that will be answered in the following chapter or two? Also wondering how this will connect into the overarching plot of the story; this is the first chapter that didn't really have much to do with either Sweetie or the doctor.
An interesting little escapade nonetheless.
Man, I remember those moment where you were talking and a "grown up" walks in and interrupts you like what you had to say had no merit. Sweetie Bot had a point there.
But yeah, Rarity's been a total b*tch so far.
Poor Sweetie Belle. She can't seem to catch a break. Another great chapter in a great story.
Found a spelling mistake on the 2nd last paragraph.
Rarity’s face softened as she tied to get closer to Sweetie Belle.
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Thanks! Fixed and fixed
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No problem!
I know that feel Sweetie Belle. Childhood frustration can be a royal pain.
Strange, I thought the CMC saw the beginning and the end of a rainbow when they extracted the colors from it when they made that love potion...
Okay, a few things about this chapter...
Firstly, I'm a little confused about the doctor's diagnosis of the debacle with Scootaloo from the last chapter. I was following it up until he started pinning it as her way of "filling a void" that Sweetie and AB couldn't fill. So he's saying that Scootaloo was trying to make the chick into a replacement for her... parents? What? I dunno. Feel free to let me know if I'm just misinterpreting that, but that's what I got from that whole conversation.
Second, I feel I should point out that present day crocodilians don't really "hunt" prey at all. At least not in the sense that you had the doctor portray them in. They wait underwater where animals are likely to come, and strike when they come within distance. So the whole thing about alligators adapting to better hunt "faster prey" is kinda bogus. :B
And finally, this bit kinda threw me for a loop: Sweetie put down her pencil and gave her wrist a much needed rub.
Was Sweetie writing with her hoof? If so, why? She's a unicorn, so you'd think she'd be levitating it, or if she wasn't proficient enough to do so, then she'd use her mouth, right?
I'm curious to see where you go with this assignment though.
Aww poor scootaloo good chapter
Darn. I was half expecting her to ask Twilight the question when she came back. Could've been funny.
Reconciliation is a beautiful thing