We'll call this one fascinating and give ya a 4.5 :)

The third italicized paragraph shouldn't be, so you know.

That aside, this is good, very good.  I don't really have any idea at this point where it might go...but I want to know.

Will be interesting how it develops from here on. I thought the re-cap of the Discord episodes was unnecessary, and so I skipped over it.

I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes.

Tracking. Keep it up!

I'm wondering... Never mind.

I'm quite curious, also if any of the others have guilty feelings.

This is pretty good! I think you should continue this!

Why is there Mordicai in the picture

Well, looks like you've got the hang of things here more or less. Remember, you have any problems, just message me.

>>6940169401 It's BLONDicai

>>6940169401Sorry, see, I thought people had seen my bio, and the links to my DA page.

I like making crossovers.

And my best crossovers are Regular Show and My Little Pony. And this was the ONLY picture that could fit for the story, because I got a crossover story on DA that I'm currently working on that's connected with this.

>>6940169401Thanks.

Interesting. I'll be tracking.

Very interesting, keep it up.

Oh I LOVE it! I almost cried!

>>6962469624

yea IKR! the story's tone is a little on the sad side.

I think there  is room for improvement though. Theres a lot of telling and recall in the story. You need to SHOW whats happening to your readers, not TELL them. I also suspect that quite a number of readers would have skipped the lengthy paragraphs of journal writing.

There are so many things wrong with that picture of yours.

>>6987869878

Care to elaborate why?

>>6989869898I love crossovers and that was the only picture that could work for this. I put more explanation in the summary.

>>6989869898My avatar or my drawing for the story? Because my avatar is from one of my comics, the drawing...more explanation on Deviantart.

This story is already on Fanfiction right? all the way up to chapter 14 if I remember correctly

>>7010670106Well, a friend encouraged me to post it here. So, because many prefer this site to Fanfiction.net, I did it.

If this is the I'm pretty sure it is, then it's all well written, but too long winded.  Almost nothing happens until chapter 14.

Oh I'm SO gonna track this one.  I've always wondered why people don't write stories where the bad guy is redeemed in the end.

>>7020970209Yeah, I understand. I didn't really think I was going to go anywhere when I first started this a few months back. I assumed I would just keep writing about Twilight's thoughts to no end. But I think I've done better, and I hope my new viewers can bare with me.

>>7020970209Because people think that he's way better as a bad guy.

I just beg of you, I BEG of you, please don't make this a ship.

Ah, I see you finally came around to posting this on here besides Fan-Fiction.com, eh? Good to see! This place is infinitely more popular than the other place...at least with pony fics.

I'm generally adverse to shipping,  it's slightly overused.

But this is well written and I haven't seen many discord shipfics.

4.

Erm...

I don't get it. You get a three for effort, but this whole Twilight misses Discord thing doesn't make any sense.

>>6940169401

Why dont you learn to read the description?

I swear its just like fucking Youtube.

Cheers

~iraqlobstah

>>7067870678

Amen to that.

I'm curious if this story was based on mine at all.

Wow, this is definitely an interesting premise. And I wouldn't mind a shipfic in the least, given how much potential is there

You keep up the good work, cartuneslover19! I'm definitely watching where this goes! ^^

Cool you posted your story on here now

I'm so definitely tracking

I read the chapters that are in fanfiction.net...

I really liked them, but when the plot finally twists... Surprise! no more chapters avaliable!

why would you do that?

so are you going to post here the rest of the chapters?

>>7379873798I will soon.

>>7443374433

Yay!

>>7443374433

Huh... Whats the point of this chapter? Dosen't really explain anything or move tho story forward....

Was it just to strengthen twilights guilt or something?]

Explain it to me please.

Cheers

~iraqlobstah

Please continue this. I'm not a one to like O.O.C Twilight, but I still like this story! You're a good artist and a even better writer!

I thought of the same thing when they engulfed Discord in rainbow-friendship-power but to my surprise he turned back to stone and made me feel sad about the ending.

I would feel remorse as well if I was the logical Twilight Sparkle whose whole life began with friendship.

I wouldn't say she's OOC.

>>8297782977 I thought of the same, sadly I already read this on fanfiction.com so I have to wait a handful of chapters until reading something new u.u

>>8290382903 the plot will be static for a few chapters, so be patient...

>>8290382903 Look, I'm sorry if this isn't what you expected. I was basically trying to show everything from "Return of Harmony" in Twilight's POV.

And yes, to strengthen the guilt.

If Discord is somehow freed from his stone prison, will it turn into Dislight or Twicord or will they just become B.F.Fs?

Also, will Discord try to communicate to Twilight if he's encased stone for the whole story or for the first few chapters as he might try manipulate Twilight into freeing him and after he's freed what will he do?

This story gives me so many questions to ask!

Yeah, this could have stood to move the story further, but I see where you were going with this. Don't be afraid to post longer chapters, most people prefer 5-7k word chapters.

All in all, nice characterization on Twilight's part, and you have a nice, solid vision of Cloudsdale. (even if you don't think so.)

>>8474084740You'll see! Thanks for looking at my art! You have an account?

Oh, and Happy Hearth Warming's Eve!

Damn. Twilight has a serious case of guilt.

I like tthis fic :) just add chapters more often please :D

Any one want to guess how many times the word 'popcorn' was used in this chapter?

T'was gut chapter, ja?

I like where this is going.

This such an enjoyable read!

First the afterword for Fallout: Equestria and now this.... This is turning into a grand Christmas/Hearth's Warming Eve!

I as well enjoy a snack when I read, arizona green tea and whatever else I can get. Play my favorite music. the tranquility of it all.

This fic is tearing me apart, I'm on the verge of tears. I can feel the sorrow and the guilt; Heavy and Cumbersome, being turned to stone sounds very lonely.

Damn this is one great story

I like where this is going, but I wouldn't play on Twilight's guilt and recapping episodes too much longer.

There is danger in moving too slowly, you know.

Other than that, I like where this is going!

My good sir this is getting even better please keep up the awesome work

Twilights getting a bit too guilty!

>>8755787557Girl here.

Cool story bro.

Just like remember it from fanfiction.net. Keep up the good work.

>mfw a tear ran down my cheek listening to music doesn't help

magnifique

Good, good...

And then twilight became a lion

I know I already asked this, but will Discord ever come back from his stone prison or telepathically talk to Twilight through the stone prison or is this story only showing her guilt with (practically) giving Discord the axe?

Yeah, will anything ever actually happen? I know it's a bit of a stupid question, but so far it's just Twilight, feeling guilty. I'm interested in seeing her free Discord or something, not muse about his body parts. (That sounded wrong. )

Anyhow, hopefully there's some action?

Good work so far.

Mysteriously appearing sunglasses?

The case is afoot!

MORE GUILT?!? The hell!

When will she stop wallowing in guilt and actually do something for Discord! Or is this story just her being guilty each chapter talking about a different thing that discord had or a body part?

If this becomes Twilight x Discord shipping, I'm gonna kill a manticore.

>>9156091560 I don't think it will because "Romance" isn't one of the tags.

keep up the good work my good sir and hope 2 see some real Discord soon.

Image: http://www.google.com.mx/imgres?q=discord+mlp&num=10&um=1&hl=es&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&biw=1261&bih=592&tbm=isch&tbnid=ig0cJ8F3MRRnSM:&imgrefurl=http://fuckyeahdiscord.tumblr.com/post/10270988784/breathethestarlight-mmm-quite&docid=MYBm2UaloDWwyM&imgurl=http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lrl1urIfAy1r1svzfo1_500.jpg&w=500&h=596&ei=d2L6TveaPOGEsALzwui8AQ&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=695&vpy=118&dur=1814&hovh=245&hovw=206&tx=69&ty=112&sig=110336970156745536135&sqi=2&page=1&tbnh=123&tbnw=103&start=0&ndsp=22&ved=1t:429,r:4,s:0

>>9156091560 Funny I like the idea of TwiXDisc Ship

>>9063690636That's why I'm uploading nearly every day.

>>9063690636That's why I'm uploading nearly every day. >>9038390383As I told you before, you'll see.

>>9155791557You'll see...

Wait. This is NOT going to be a TwiCord shipping???? WTF AM I DOING HERE???

Twilight x Discord, never read one and would love too.

Chapter was great, more guilt, more chaos, more MAGIC!

>>9155791557

If you've read FanFiction.com (I think it was), you'll find that it's mostly this up to chapter 14.  That's when things actually happen.

>>9192791927 Nail on the head my friend. The first thirteen chapters are slow going, but Chapter Fourteen's when things pick up.

Are there any differences between this version of the story and the one you posted on fanfiction.net?

oh 4 the love of Luna stop teasing us and make this one a romantic story it is actually more 4 it than just friendship.

pretty please, PLEEEAAAAASEEEEEEEE.......

also keep up the good work.

so this starts setting off at chapter 14/15? Wow that's a long ways to go but I'm not complaining, still want more

You finally brought his chocolate milk of glass in this story and his window! This chapter makes me actually want to see more of her guilt, even though it's getting annoying.

Keep this story up!

>>9311093110

That's the idea. [/The Room] Now, we play the waiting game.

Looks like Twi can't...

*sunglasses*

Deal with it!

YEA!?

Moremoremoremoremoremoremoremoremoremoremoremomomomorerereremore

Everyday I'm studying.

When I saw the  name of this chapter, I immediately busted out my iPod and set Party Rock Anthem on replay.

AWW YEAH!

Image: http://chzbronies.files.wordpress.com/2011/09/my-little-pony-friendship-is-magic-brony-at-the-disco1.gif

Keep up the awesome work

Is this going where I think it's going?  Because this is getting kinda creepy.  I can't be only one who thought it odd how suddenly Twilight was able to shuffle like Discord?

>>9503595035 oh no you don't think???

Nah thats not going to happen...

Or Is it!!!

even though the song Vinyl was playing was THAT song *cringe* I played 'Lowriders - Don't Get Back (DJ Isaac Remix)' to make the shuffling more suitible to the dancing

Anyways enough with my hipster ranting, can't wait for more.

Pretty good chapter!

How to tell you've read too much Death Note: your first thoughts upon reading of Twilight eating the snack foods was "I'm going to take this cupcake... AND EAT IT!"

Ready good story.

>>9297392973Sort off...

>>9297392973Sort off...>>9302593025I don't know...maybe I'll add romance as another tag.

>>9503595035If you're assuming romance, I don't know...

No, not romance.  My imagination is probably just running away with me, but I have a sneaking suspicion that something sinister is going on here.

How did that comment end up on this chapter?  It was meant for 7!

Anyway, either Twilight is possessed or... no, we'll just have to wait and see, won't we?

I admit I'm really liking the slow pacing here, it lends a certain amount of believability to Twilight's shifts in thinking. Looking forward to the next chapter

Twilight is so adorkable in this chapter!

So, will we see the princess in the next chapter?

I cant believe this is not romance 4 is a very awesome fanfic... kind of a tease.

please keep up the good work. if possible please make it romance :3

>>9680096800Uh, sorry, no, that's way later...